AN: This is short. I'm dying from school guys idk how to deal. :( I'm on meds agaaaiiin. I'm really sorry for keeping you guys waiting.
It was like a snowball rolling down hill.
It had started with that first confession, and it had been innocent enough. I just wanted too hear your voice. But it had warmed Shay's insides and it had made something inside of her bloom, something that gave her enough strength to start calling in the morning, technically her nighttime. And it had started out with stupid excuses.
"Listen, Ash thinks ties are hotter than suspenders. Help me out here."
"Suspenders. Definitely suspenders, Shay."
Then-
"Ok, but really, should I have cereal for dinner? Or nah?"
"You need to eat better! I swear you were eating healthier when I was there."
To-
"You said you'd tell me about that guy you saw."
"I did! He was really friendly at first, but..."
And it was all inane, and innocent and really. And Shay was giddy about everything. That they've moved past awkward texting to calls, and they were doing almost everyday, and they were always laughing when they did. And Shay sometimes found herself more tired than she usually was during the morning, having spent more time waiting for Sasha's breaks than she wanted to admit. And maybe Sasha had started to chastise her for it.
Shay couldn't find it in herself to feel bad.
And the calls continued, lengthened. Until-
"Hey, Sash, I-"
"Shay. Shay wait-"
Then the call dropped. And it was the first time it happened. And Shay felt her stomach drop just as suddenly, felt her heart thud loudly in her chest. Because she had been calling so much. Maybe too much, she thought, as she stared at her phone.
And Sasha had sounded winded. Breathless. Like she had been going on a run. Or like she was in a rush. Or like she had been making out with some-
No.
Shay wasn't going to think about that.
She had assumed that it was ok with Sasha. Shay had started to think about it as their thing, their thing while they had to pass the time until Sasha came back, their thing until Sasha was back in the US, their thing until they were once again united. Shay thought they were moving somewhere, because this was exactly how they had been, except they were in the same place before, and now they were on opposites sides of the world.
And maybe it was difficult. Maybe hearing Sasha's voice made Shay yearn for the blonde all the more. Maybe there were days when it was already too late during the night and too early in the morning and Shay felt the longing become unbearable and she'd open websites on booking flights for the next weekend, maybe the next day. She wouldn't have to stay long. She only had to be there every weekend maybe. She could afford it. She could spend all that time and effort and be happy with those two days until she could Sasha again for more than that.
She thought they were going somewhere.
But she'd also felt Sasha become more distant in the past few calls. Sasha said it was just because things were getting more and more hectic. She was bound for a fashion show before El's birthday, and Shay had been very understandable. Shay had believed her, giving her more time, some space. Shay thought it was just that. Of course there was some level of doubt, some level of questioning, but Sasha had sounded so sincere whenever she apologized.
And Shay had of course, of course, believed her. Like every other time Shay had thought Sasha would give them a chance in the past. Like every touch they'd shared was a promise of something more.
And where did that get Shay, to be honest.
Shay would have laughed at how fast her thoughts had processed all those things, how those same thoughts had escalated from feelings rejected after that call had abruptly ended to feelings completely heartbroken.
But then her phone rang. And it was a different ringtone.
It was a ringtone for a videocall.
Shay scrambled to answer it, almost dropping her phone in her haste, but she managed the simple action of swiping her thumb over the bottom of her phone.
And then she let a watery laugh bubble from her throat when a grinning Sasha filled her screen. Shay hoped her laugh didn't sound as hysterical as she thought it sounded.
Someone from Sasha's back wrapped an arm around the blonde, and Shay had to mentally aggressively tone down her reaction.
"Sasha's been pining after you, Mitchell!"
"Robby!"
Then Sasha was pushing the Latino away from her and away from what Shay could see of where Sasha was. And even in the pixelated image of Sasha and the tan she'd gotten from working in the tropics, Shay could see the blush appear on the blonde's cheeks.
"Sorry, he's-"
"It's fine, Sash."
"-he's been kind of my shoulder to lean on here."
"Yeah. You've mentioned him." More times than Shay would have liked. With an amount of affection that Shay was maybe jealous of. Shay refused to admit to stalking him on his social media accounts, frowning at the photos he had with Sasha, grumbling as Ashley about how he shouldn't have his arms so tight around Sasha. And with him being there with Sasha, and with Shay decidedly not there, she's just been-
"I may have told him about us."
Shay's thoughts halted abruptly at that. "About us?"
"Yeah, I-"
Then, Robby was squishing his cheek against Sasha's to fit their faces in the screen.
"She told me about the brunette love of her life she left- ARGH! WHAT THE F-"
"Robby, I swear to god if you interrupt our call again-"
"Don't worry, Pieterse. I won't ever tell your girlfriend how many times you watched that interview of her-"
Then all Shay could see was a blur, as she figured Sasha was running after Robby now, and from Robby's fake cries of pain and his laughter, Sasha was slapping the shit out of him.
It was a few more minutes until Sasha was back on screen and she was more red than ever, scowling at her phone, and then she wasn't, and she was only looking at her phone but not really because it looked like she was trying to be polite by keeping the call going but she also didn't want to look at Shay.
And Shay, for her part, didn't really know what to say. There was no mistaking what Robby was talking about, no mistaking what Sasha shared with him. While Ashley was Shay's sounding board about everything Sasha, it seemed Robby was Sasha's with everything Shay.
And Shay had to stop herself from maybe rejoicing too much, because she needed to hear things like that from Sasha and not from the person she'd been telling about Shay.
And Shay was tired of assuming. If Sasha didn't say so, then it wasn't.
"Sasha?"
"It's not a secret, yeah?"
And then they were silent, watching each other from miles away and wishing they were in front of each other.
"I already said that- that I-"
"Stop."
Sasha's lips snapped shut, and Shay thought the heartbreak on Sasha's face could not have been more clear had the blonde been right in front of her. Sasha pursed her lips, her eyes averted, and her jaw clenched.
And maybe she had waited too long, Sasha thought. Maybe their opportunity was up. Maybe Shay had fallen when Sasha wasn't ready, and not what she was, Shay had moved on. Maybe Sasha had read too much into the "I miss you" and the "I can't wait to talk to you". Maybe because she'd been too happy with starting her day with the sound of Shay's voice. Maybe she'd been spoiled with the soft "good morning" and the bright wishes of "good day.
Maybe she'd hoped too much and done too little.
"I should-"
"Tell me when you get here."
Sasha stopped, eyes locking on Shay, on the tears on Shay's eyes that have yet to fall. Sasha smiled tentatively, still a little cautious. But she'd been in the situation before when she was presented an opportunity and she didn't take it and she almost, almost lost the chance. So Sasha threw caution the wind, because as it was, it wasn't much caution. She knew how Shay felt. Sasha just had to woman up.
But instead of straight up answering, Sasha figured that joking about it wouldn't put her heart too far ahead of herself. "It doesn't look like you wanna hear it." She smiled a little, even as she sighed when Shay giggled, but the light from somewhere at Shay's side made the tears that slid down her cheek more visible. "C'mon, Shay. I hate seeing you cry."
Shay relented by tilting her head up, as if the action would prevent the tears from falling. "I'm sorry! I just-" Shay shook her head. And she laughed, light and full, and she couldn't remember when the last time she laughed with her heart was. "I'll tell you when you get here."
Sasha leaned back against the backrest of the chair behind her, and she smiled into the screen, feeling like the words that were left unsaid had already been aired. "No spoilers?"
Shay rolled her eyes as she wiped the last of her tears. "I hate spoilers. I can't believe you're even asking that. Are we even friends?"
Sasha scrunches up her face as she pretended to think about the question, and only waved a hand in front of the camera of her phone when Shay scoffed at the other end. "Yeah, yeah."
Sasha's head snapped up at the same time Shay heard someone at the other end call the blonde's name, and knew the call was about to end. "You take care, ok?" Shay took the liberty of trying to end the call, knowing whenever it was Sasha, they always took a while to say goodbye.
Sasha nodded."You, too."
Shay was about to end the call, screen not even facing her anymore, when she heard her name again so she lifted it again to look at a Sasha who, despite the horrible resolution of Facetime, looked to be blushing. "Yeah, what?"
"More. More than."
Sasha giggled at the confused look on Shay's face, before she gave a kiss to the camera and the screen went blank.
More? More what-
Oh.
"Are we even friends?"
Apparently, more than, Shay thought, feeling her cheeks heat up, and she curled into herself to possibly contain the giddiness in her chest. But then she rolled her eyes.
Fucking spoilers.
A/N: I'll edit with my dedications this weekend. Thank you so much for reading!