Camila POV
Tonight is a home basketball game and after there is a party at Jake's house again. Lauren is going and she said would probably be drinking since Carter is in New York with Zayn later today.
She is picking me up after the game so we can go together, which I'm excited about. The first thing is getting through the school day and the basketball game.
*Buzz*
Lauren: Good morning, beautiful. Usually I would send a cute message but I have something to tell you.
This is never good. What possibly could interrupt my daily morning text from Lauren?
Camila: Oh great, what is it?
Lauren: Zayn kept his word about a song... He sent me the link.
Camila: Did you listen to it?"
Lauren: No, I thought we could be together. Do you want to ride with me to school? I'll be dropping Carter off in about twenty minutes before he heads to New York with Zayn.
I am nervous about the song, but smiling like a fool at Lauren's offer.
Camila: Offering a ride to school? Sounds very girlfriend of you...
Lauren: Soon babe. Is that a yes?
Does soon mean she is going to make it official soon?
Camila: Yup, I'll be waiting.
I gather all my school stuff and cheerleading things. Since I won't have my car, I'll just go to Dinah's after school to get ready for the game.
I haul my crap down the stairs where I was met by my nothing. Since I came out to her it's been different. I gave her the space she asked for. Now she acts as if I didn't tell her anything.
I am assuming she is in denial because she won't acknowledge or talk about it. For now it's fine, because at least she isn't treating me poorly.
"Are you running behind mila?" my mom looks at her watch. "Usually you are gone by now."
This is true. I am an early bird when it comes to getting to school. "I'm waiting for Lauren to drop off Carter. She is giving me a ride."
"What?" My mom shouts, startling me. "What did you do with your car Karla?"
My mom starts marching towards the door. "My car is fine!"
"Then why are you making Lauren take you to school?" My mom puts her hand on her hips. "She has more to worry about than being your chauffeur."
Because I am crazy about her and she offered me a ride. "We are friends, mom. Plus I'm going to Dinah's after school before the game. Why not save gas?"
That was an excellent excuse if you ask me.
"I'm on to you Karla." My mom squints her eyes and all. "You teenagers are always up to no good."
Thank god I hear Lauren and Carter outside. The way my mom was staring at me was getting creepy.
"Mila." Carter runs to me and gives me a giant hug. "I never see you in the mornings!"
He is observant. "Your mommy is giving me a ride. Is that okay?"
"I guess." He is too cute. "I am flying to New York today! Daddy will be here at... uh."
He looks to Lauren for help. "Ten."
"Awesome!" He runs through the house. "Bye mommy, I love you!"
"I love you too baby." Lauren calls out. "Can you give me a hug please? I won't see you for a couple of days."
Carter runs back and jumps in Lauren's arm. "I'll miss you." Carter says softly, causing me to frown that they go through this often.
"I'll miss you more."
After their exchange Lauren and I head to her car.
"Does it get any easier?" I ask as we get in. "When Carter leaves that is?"
"Not at all."
I couldn't even imagine...
"You look beautiful today." Lauren comments changing the mood.
She always goes out of her way to make me blush. "I think you need your eyes checked."
"My eyesight is perfectly fine." Always the charmer she is. "Are you ready to hear the song?"
No. "Yeah, what is it called?"
"I hate u, I love u." Lauren gives me an apologetic look making me a little more nervous.
I can only imagine what the song is about... "Did he write it?"
"She nods." Lauren gets ready to press play. "He said in the text he sent me that this is just the beginning."
Lovely. "Is he really that mad?"
Lauren shrugs. "I think Zayn doesn't like the fact that he wasn't the one who ended it. Honestly, I think it's all an ego thing."
Boys and their ego... But I guess girls have it too. "Alright let's hear this."
-Feeling used but I'm still missing you and I can't see the end of this. Just wanna feel your kiss against my lips. And now all this time is passing by but I still can't seem to tell you why. It hurts me every time I see you, realize how much I need you.
I hate you, I love you, I don't want to, but I can't put nobody else above you. I hate you, I love you. You want her, I need her and I'll never be her.
I miss you when I can't sleep or right after coffee or right when I can't eat. I miss you in my front seat, still got sand in my sweaters from nights we don't remember
Do you miss me like I miss you? Fucked around and got attached to you. Friends can break your heart too and I'm always tired but never of you.
If I pulled you on you, you wouldn't like that shit, I put this reel out but you wouldn't bite that shit.
I got these feelings but you never mind that shit.
Oh, oh keep it on the low.
You're still in love with me but your friends don't know. If you wanted me you would just say so and if I were you, I would never let me go.
I don't mean no harm, I just miss you on my arm... Wedding bells were just alarms, caution tape around my heart.
You ever wonder what we could have been? You said you wouldn't and you fucking did.
Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix. Now wall my drinks and all my feelings are fucking mixed.
Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing. Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create the distance.
I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing but I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings.
When love and trust are gone, I guess this is moving on. Everyone I do right does me wrong. So every lonely night I sing this song.
All alone I watch you watch her. Like she's the only girl you've ever seen. You don't care, you never did. You don't give a damn about me.
Yeah, all alone I watch you watch her. She's the only thing you've ever seen. How is it you never notice, that you are slowly killing me.
I hate you, I love you, I hate that I love you. Don't want to, but I can't put nobody else above you. I hate you, I love you, I hate that I want you. You want her, you need her and I'll never be her.-
The song comes to an end... "Shit." I mumble. "He definitely let it all out there."
Lauren reaches over the console and talks to my hand. "That's what he does for a living. How do you feel about it?"
How do I feel? What about her? "Is it true that you are still in love with him?"
"Ouch." Lauren whimpers and I realize I started to squeeze my hand tighter around hers when I asked. "No it's not true. I fell out of love with him more than a year ago, but didn't leave until this summer."
"What made you fall out of love?"
"A lot of things." That is very broad. "But I knew for sure when he asked me to marry him."
I jump in my seat. "You guys were engaged?"
Is that what wedding bells turned into alarms meant?
"No, but he asked. I turned him down because I wasn't ready. I stayed with him because I thought I could reconnect to him, but I never did."
Wow, there is so much about their relationship I still don't know I realize. "Do you regret it?"
She shakes her head. "No, not one bit. Don't get me wrong I owe a lot to him and would be there for him in a heartbeat. I love him as my child's father and as a friend. There is no getting rid of that ever. Not even if he writes a song telling me to go to hell, I'll still care about him."
Every day I notice there is a lot more that comes to being with Lauren compared to another high school relationship.
"You look unsure of something." Lauren points out. "Is this too much for you? I'll understand if you want out."
She pulls into the school parking lot and parks, which gives us a chance to look at each other while we talk.
"Would it be that easy for you if I walked away?"
At this point our hands aren't connected anymore.
"I said if you wanted out that I would understand. Never once did I say it would be easy." Lauren speaks softly. "It would hurt a lot, but I want whatever is best for you. I don't want to overwhelm you or make you feel like you are stuck in a relationship you don't want."
Vulnerable Lauren is a very cute Lauren. "You said relationship." I smile. "Two times this morning we seem to be getting closer."
Lauren blushes. "Soon babe."
I know I'm blushing as well. All I want to do right now is kiss her, so that's what I'll do.
"If you can't tell, I can handle whatever song or lyric Zayn wants to say. All the extra things that come with you are fine with me." I put it out there.
I bring my hand up and gently run her cheek before sliding it to the back of her neck. Her eyes drop down to my lips and back to my eyes.
"Are you sure?" She whispers.
I close the gap between us and connect my lips with hers. "Completely sure." I mumbled against her lips when I pulled back a little.
We lean back in our seats. After a couple of moments gazing into each other's eyes, Lauren broke the silence. "We should go so we aren't late for class."
I don't want to but here I am getting out of her car. At least we don't have to go our separate ways until we get to school.
"I have a random question." I blurted out loud making Lauren turn her head to me. "What exactly are your thoughts on PDA?"
She turns her head back forward after she almost plowed someone over. "I'm not against it. I think it's cute holding hands or giving each other short kisses whenever and wherever. I do think some things should be left behind closed doors, but yeah. I'm all for PDA."
"Interesting." Sometimes I wonder why I'm so awkward. "Do you think you have to be in a relationship to show PDA?"
I watch Lauren who seems calm like always. "Not necessarily. Are you trying to ask me something certain without directly asking me Camz?"
I have no idea what she is talking about. "Yes, but it's probably stupid and you wouldn't want to."
"I wouldn't? How would you know if you don't ask or try whatever it is you are wanting?"
We get into the school and are about to go our separate ways. I should take a risk and do what I want. It will help me see if Lauren is serious, plus how others will react if they see.
"I'll see you at lunch." Lauren starts her goodbye.
I drop my cheer bag to free up my arm. I wrap my arms around her and give her a hug.
I smile into her shoulder when I feel her hug me back and press her lips to my head.
"See, it's okay to hug me if you want."
I pull back a little so I can look into her beautiful eyes. "Is it okay to do more?"
Lauren lets off a soft giggle. "If you are comfortable with it, yes, but don't feel like you ha..."
I know what Lauren was going to say and I didn't need her to finish. I pushed my lips against hers and I could feel Lauren smiling into the kiss.
"I'll see you soon." I whisper before breaking away from her.
Lauren gives me a wink before walking off.
I watch her until she disappears. I bend down to pick my bag up. Right before my hand could grab a hold of the strap, my bag slid down the hallway.
I stand up and look at the person who did it. "What the hell Austin?" I shout as I stomp towards my bag. "Don't kick my shit."
The taller boy glances at me. "What the hell was that I just saw Camilla?"
"First off it's CamEELA." He is a complete airhead. "Second, what was that? Are you referring to the girl I just kissed? If so, that's none of your damn business."
Austin's face turns pale. I don't think he thought he saw my exchange with Lauren. "Are you a dyke Camila? Is that why you kept turning me down?"
Why am I entertaining him right now? "I turned you down because you are an asshole. Even if I was straight it would never happen."
He rolls his eyes. "How long have you been gay?"
"Probably as long as you have had your head up your ass." I wrap my cheer bag around my shoulder. "Now if you excuse me I have class, unlike you."
God, I absolutely hate that kid.
"This isn't over." He shouts down the hall.
Whatever he says. He is the only person I'll never understand.
Now, walking down the halls, I have a lot of eyes on me. I'm assuming they saw me kiss Lauren or they heard my exchange with Austin.
Whichever it is, I don't care. That leads me to a smile as I walk confidently.
Lauren POV
"Lauren." I put down my pencil that I was using to sketch my project with. "I saw your portrait of me."
I shrug. "And your point? I got an A+."
"Are you fucking kidding me?" He whispers. "You and your girlfriend better watch your backs. Payback is happening."
Does he really think I give a fuck what comes out of his mouth? "Okay cool, leave me alone now."
He does some stupid laugh as he leaves my area. He is a complete fuck boy.
When class was over, I headed to lunch like normal. This time instead of sitting across from Camila, I sat by her.
"Hey." I greet her. "How's your day?"
"Good so far. Yours?"
I wiggle my brows. "Good. A cute girl kissed me twice."
"Barf." Normani puts her hands to her throat and acts like she is puking.
"Shut up." I scold as I pull my phone out to text someone.
Lauren: You were right about High School and the fuck boys.
"Who are you texting?" Dinah leans over the table. "Who the hell is Zayn?"
I quickly pull my phone in my lap. "Ugh, a friend." I try covering up and I can feel Camila staring at me and I know she wants to know why I am texting him. "He told me high school was full of fuck boys and I was letting him know he was right."
"Oh." Dinah laughs. "Which one are you referring too?"
"Austin Mahone. He is in my art class."
The eye contact Dinah is giving Camila is obvious. "That boy has been trying to get Camila to date him all through High School."
"Really?"
Camila looks less than pleased. "Yeah. No matter how many times I turn him down he still asks. He actually saw us kiss this morning. He blew up on me but whatever."
"That is probably why he told me we both would get paid back. He already hates me, so that probably sent him off more."
All eyes are now staring at me. "Why would Austin already hate you?" Normani questions.
"Because we were art partners." I explained. "We had to draw each other. I asked if I would pass by drawing a Dorito and he got pissed."
Dinah's drink shoots out her nose. "That was you?"
"Yeah? How do you know anything about that?"
Dinah needs a few to calm down. "When Camila was on her way to tell Normani and Ally that she is a lesbo, Austin stopped her and asked if she thought he looked like Dorito."
The comment must have affected him. "For a huge school, it's starting to feel small." I comment.
"So what is this you say about you two kissing in the hallway?" Normani questions. "Does that mean Camila is completely out?"
This is obviously a question for Camila.
"Yeah, I guess you can say that." Camila impresses me how collective she is. I remember texting the unknown and them being petrified if anyone found out they were gay.
"Let's test it out." Dinah stands up out of nowhere. "My fellow classmates, I have an announcement."
Normani tugs her arm as the whole cafeteria goes silent. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Helping Camila complete the process, unless she doesn't want me to." Dinah looks at Camila to see if she was going to stop her and she doesn't. "Okay! Now like I was saying, my friend Camila Cabello."
"IS FUCKING HOT." Some guy shouts. I want to punch him.
"Well, yes she is." Dinah is crazy. "But she wants all of you to come to tonight's game. That is all."
What?
Dinah sits back down and is clearly amused with herself. "I'm surprised you weren't going to stop me."
The rest of the day was slow and boring. I ended up going to the game, where I probably watched the cheerleaders more than the game.
Currently Camila and I are leaving her house and headed to Jake's.
"So do you think this time we will end up in the back talking most of the night?" Camila questions.
I shake my head. "No, I would rather not randomly cry again." I joke. "Plus, I think it would be good to socialize so our friends don't call us that couple that ignores their friends when they date."
"A couple huh?" Camila smirks. "I'm starting to lose count on how many times today you implied we are in a relationship."
Maybe that's because I'm doing it on purpose.
"You're cute." Camila leans over and kisses my cheek. "You make me incredibly happy."
And she makes me feel things I never knew I would again.
For the first couple of hours, Camila and I mingled with our group of friends. At some point I would go off by myself with Lucy and Keana. Alexa didn't come to this party.
Now with multiple drinks in me, I am standing in a somewhat circle with Keana, Lucy, Jake, Madison, Normani, Ally, Dinah, Fuck Boy Austin, and some other kid wile we play truth or dare.
When Camila came over to us, I was pleased when she stopped in front of me leaning her body on me as I rested my chin on her shoulder.
"Truth or Dare?" Ally asks Jake who has picked dare the last couple of times.
"Truth." He changes it up.
"I've got a good one." Ally gets overly excited. "Is it true you wrote the song Zayn Malik sang at the football game. It was a song you wrote for Madison, wasn't it?"
This question really caught my attention and so did his answer. "True."
Most of the girls are in awe, but I am completely confused. How does he know Zayn? Why did Zayn lie about him writing it?
"You okay?" Camila must have felt me tense up.
"Yeah, just confused."
"Camila, truth or dare?" Jake asks.
"Dare, dare." I whisper in her ear.
"Truth."
"Chicken." I tease as she squirms in my arms.
"What is going on with Lauren and you?"
Camila turns around in my arms. "This." Camila bites down on her lip as she brings her hand behind my head and pulls my head towards her. She presses her lips on mine softly and pulls back.
"Are you mad?" Camila whispers.
"Not at all."
She smiles and turns around. "Does that answer your question?"
"Yes." Jake gives thumbs up. "Good for you guys."
Jake Miller, I like him.
"Truth or Dare?" Camila asks Madison.
"Dare."
"Okay." She thinks for a second. "I dare you to join the cheer squad since Victoria is moving."
That is a different dare...
"Yes girl!" Normani loves Camila's suggestion/dare. "Jake, tell your girl she should join! She can cheer you on while you play!"
If I heard that from Austin it would annoy me, but from Jake it doesn't.
"Okay, I'll do it." Madison agrees. "Austin truth or dare?"
"Truth."
Madison waits while Jake whispers something in her ear. "Oh my god!" She laughs. "Is it true you got caught jacking off to Katya pictures during study hall?"
Fuck that is gross, but hilarious. His face is dark red.
"It's true." He spits out through gritted teeth. "Lauren, truth or dare? Okay truth."
Uh.. the fuck?
Austin walks closer to me. "Is it true you got knocked up and left school? Did you really think you could come back and no one would know?"
There was gasp from everyone in the circle.
"I have a three year old." I confirm. "What point are you trying to prove?"
I glance at Dinah who looks the most shocked out of everyone.
"See that Camila, you are dating a fucking slut." He spits at me.
Camila disengages her body from mine. "Do not call her that." Camila gives him a shove, but Austin comes right back.
I pull Camila out of the way. Austin walks up and gets right in my face. "You are just a little slut who got knocked up in high school or was it Junior High? Who is that dad Lauren?? Some fucking low life who doesn't want to be apart of your bastard son's life."
"What did you just call my sister and nephew?" Chris appears out of nowhere.
In a split second Chris brings his arm back and punches Austin in the jaw. Jake quickly steps in and I pull Camila away from the scene.
"I need to go." I told her. "Do you want to go with Dinah? I really need to get out here."
It feels like everything is starting to hit and I don't know how to act or think. All I know is my body is shaking and my heart is racing.
I take it I just received Austin's pay back he has been promising.
"Lauren." Camila says when we get outside. "Please let me go with you. I'll worry too much without you. Let me be here for you, don't push me out.
I look at Camila whose eyes are pleading to me. "Okay, let's go."
"Are you sure you can drive? You have been drinking." Camila is right but...
"Normally I wouldn't drive no matter what." I state. "But Austin pissed the drunk out of me or any effect alcohol has on me. If you want I can call someone to pick us up."
Camila takes a hold of my hand. "I trust you."
"Let's go then."
We walked away from Jake's house and to my car.
I pull out and head to my house. "Do you want to stay the night or should I take you back to yours?"
"Do you even need to ask?" Camila chuckles. "I want to stay with you and make sure you are okay."
Caring, Camila is very caring. "I'm fine, but I'm glad you chose to stay."
"Always." Camila claims but I fear eventually she will realize that this is all too much for her. "Are you sure it doesn't bug you that most of the school will know about Carter?"
"It never was the worry of them finding out." I say honestly. "It's just what they say about him. I can careless what people call me, but when Austin called Carter a bastard all I could see was red. If Zayn finds out he will kill him."
One thing I know is you do not say one ill word about any one in Zayn's family. It doesn't matter if he is mad at his sister and he calls her a brat, you better not call her one or he will snap. He is very protective and it maximizes when it comes to Carter.
"I think you should tell him." Camila advises. "What if Chris tells him about it and he is mad you kept it from him?"
This is true but... "He will come here and confront Austin. I am positive about that."
"So? Austin deserves it." This is also true. "I know if he comes that means Austin will know which means everyone else will know, but at this point would it matter if people find out about Zayn and you? You already are going to have the people you go to school talk to. Maybe if they know the whole truth it will help. I'm sure some of the judgment would vanish."
I'm not sold on that. "I don't know Camila. I have to think about it."
"I'm not trying to pressure you Lauren." Camila clarifies. "I'll support you no matter what."
And that's what I love about her. I know babe. Let's go to my house and cuddle. We both had a big day. You came out to the school basically and my secret is out. I'm sure the next week of school will be interesting."
As of right now, I don't even want to show up.
"Okay, but I get to be the big spoon this time." Camila claims.
I laugh softly. "Okay, deal."