Beta: Manon, Shemar & Naomi, Phyllis, Carol, Niroveka, Dis & Aranel
Disclaimer: I own only the plot; Tolkien though was the one that created the great world of Middle Earth. I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of the story.
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At dawn...
Haldir continued to change the leaves, and then he stared at Aragorn and Gimli who were resting uncomfortably in the cave. He was certain that something was going on between them, and that it involved the prince.
His gaze went back to Legolas, and he cleaned the elf's face, whispering the question that had been preying on his mind, but knowing he was not going to get an answer: "Why are you kept blaming yourself, mellon-nin?"
He continued to speak words of compassion and understanding, hoping that it would reach into Legolas' subconscious.
"You have wonderful friends who care for you. Do not leave them behind, though right now Gimli is angry, and he is taking his anger out on Aragorn..." Haldir stopped and let out a laugh before continuing, "You are dear to them... and to me, ever since I first saw you in Lothlórien. I can see that you have changed a lot since the quest, and it is a good change, for you have a dwarf for a friend... cough... you made us realise that we should be proud of all races, mellon..." Haldir said as he wiped the falling tears from his face.
Haldir swallowed his tears and tried to breathe as calmly as he could. His gaze was totally focused on Legolas, waiting for any change, but nothing seemed to happen.
Haldir heard a groan and looked around, only to see that it was Gimli turning around in his sleep.
The march warden grinned, and then he gazed upon Aragorn. The man was twitching slightly in his sleep, and Haldir thought that Aragorn was having a dream or even a nightmare. He decided to go and wake the man up, feeling that there was no use in Aragorn continuing to try and sleep. Haldir left Legolas' side and walked over to Aragorn, kneeling next to him and shaking him gently.
"Wake..." Haldir called softly.
Aragorn struggled slightly, shoving Haldir's hands off as he murmured in his sleep, "Tired..."
Haldir raised an eyebrow and decided to return to Legolas.
"You will be alright, Legolas..." Haldir said comfortingly as he moved his hand over Legolas' forehead, hoping to feel any change.
But Legolas' forehead was still warm, so Haldir changed the leaves once more before stroking Legolas' face.
He saw Legolas' lips moving, and thought that Legolas was trying to say something, but there was no sound.
Haldir turned his head back to the man and dwarf. Both were sleeping restlessly, but neither woke.
Gimli groaned and mumbled words that even Haldir did not know or understand, while Aragorn was still twitching in his sleep. Haldir hoped that it was no nightmare that Aragorn was having of Legolas strangling him. The march warden hoped that the man would overcome what Legolas had tried to do to him.
Haldir's attention returned to Legolas when he saw the elf toss his head from side to side. He stroked Legolas' hair, whispering, "Fight the demons, mellon-nin, fight them... and then you will see the light." Haldir hoped that Legolas heard him...
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Deep inside Legolas' mind...
Legolas muttered to the lord of Mandos' Halls that he could no longer face his best friend as he had tried to strangle him.
Namo could hear the despair in the elf's voice, the pain and the anger, and wished that the elf would stop acting the way he was.
"Please... you must accept me in your Halls... I am better dead than alive... please..." Legolas mumbled, feeling so guilty for even trying to kill his best friend.
"Prince Legolas, I have no idea what I can do with you, but perhaps your grandfather will want to speak with you. Do you want to hear from him?" Namo suggested, for he had faith in the elf, but wished for the elf to believe in himself.
"M... my grandfather... I never saw him; I never had the chance to get to know him..." Legolas mumbled, feeling confused.
'Why did he not let me die?' Legolas muttered.
"Now, act nice, and please stay alive for your friends' sake, and no, I am not accepting you into my Halls, for your time has not yet come." Namo was letting the elf know that he was not giving up on him, but not letting on that Legolas' depressed state was touching him deeply.
Legolas wanted to say something, but Namo disappeared from his sight, and he saw another elf. He was unfamiliar to him, and yet he somehow knew him from tales told by his father.
"Who are you?" Legolas still asked, taking a step back.
"I think you know already who am I," the elf answered and came closer over him, before adding, "I have been called by Namo; do you want to tell me why?"
"I do not know... I asked him to let me die..." Legolas mumbled and turned his head away, not wishing for the other elf to see into his eyes.
"Die? And why would you want that?" Oropher asked as he took another step forward.
Legolas told him what had happened, told him what he had felt when Gimli snapped at him, accusing him of what he did to Aragorn. He looked at the elder, waiting for his reaction, but there was none.
Oropher only nodded, and yet he said nothing.
"I deserve to die," Legolas said as nothing came from the elder, and he took one step backward. "I can see in your eyes your rejection of me, your hate for me, your grandchild."
Oropher came closer to him and took Legolas in his arms, hugging him tightly. He said softly, "No... you do not deserve to die, Legolas-nin, you are only ashamed of the acts that you did unconsciously. I only wish I could take some of your pain..."
"Then take it..." Legolas said, interrupting his grandfather.
Oropher pulled away from Legolas and looked at him, noting the pleading look in Legolas' eyes. He sighed heavily and said, "I do not know how... I did not know before, so how will I know now?"
"What do you mean?" Legolas asked, taking a step back and looking at the elder with a mix of fear and confusion.
"My wife suffered a great deal during the birth of your father. I wanted to help her, to take the pain from her, but I failed to do anything and she died in my arms.
I took care of your father, and he helped me to overcome the grief and pain of losing her. Yet I left him as he reached his majority, for I went to war against Sauron and never came back," Oropher answered in a broken voice, tears flowing down his cheeks.
Legolas walked toward him and reached out with his hand to Oropher, saying quietly, "I did not know..."
"No... you did not know, but now you are the only one that does," Oropher told him, and looked at him. "You need to stay alive. Your friends are worried about you; you need to trust them again, for they are your friends..."
Legolas cut in, snapping, "No... I... I tried to kill him, to strangle him. I almost killed him, so why should I be call 'friend'?"