Dedicated to Demz5luv for making me a lovely cover!!! Thanks so mucho!!!!!!!
The song on the side is technically not the one I talk about in this song...there's no drums in the version I usually listen to but I couldn't find it on youtube so imagine it with no drums...even though the drums are quite nice.
Enjoy!!!!!
Chapter 25
“Rose? What are you doing in here?”
I looked up from the acoustic guitar on my lap to see Dan coming into the garage with Troy, Mac, and Cindy following behind him.
I blinked, realizing that loud music was pumping over the speakers, filling the house with the sweet sounds of Fleetwood Mac. “Who’s the DJ?”
“Mac’s iPod,” Dan replied, sitting next to me and slinging an arm over my shoulders.
“Hands off,” Mac grumbled, grabbing Dan’s arm and flinging it away from me as he took a seat on my other side. Troy and Cindy sat in the bean bag chair together, Cindy on Troy’s lap as they looked at me with questions in their eyes.
Mac and Dan slapped at each other’s hands behind my back and I just rolled my eyes, ignoring the brothers as my gaze rested on the advertisement that was sitting on the coffee table in front of me. “So has everyone seen this now?” I asked quietly as Dan and Mac settled down.
“Yeah,” Dan said quietly, leaning forward to pick it up. “It’s not so bad, Rose. Don’t worry about it.”
I looked over at Dan, frowning as he gave me a reassuring smile before glancing at Troy who was giving me a similar look. “I’m sorry guys.”
“Seriously Rose, it’s not a big deal. You’re part of the band and sooner or later someone was bound to notice that you used to be Rosemary Keen,” Troy said, shrugging.
I narrowed my eyes at him, thinking. “What if we did a show before that one?” I asked, feeling a smile stretch my lips.
“What are you talking about?” Mac asked, turning on the couch so he could face me.
“Well, we’re performing on Saturday, right? What if we do another one without the help from Hereafter records? What if we set up outside on say, Friday night, somewhere public and just play?” I frowned, thinking about it for a second. “We’d have to find a place where it wouldn’t be illegal which might be tricky. We only have a few days to get any permits or permissions necessary so it might be impossible anyway…” I sank back, the neck of the guitar hitting Dan in the chest lightly, making me realize the instrument was still in my hands. “Sorry,” I muttered, setting the body of the guitar on the ground so that I was holding it vertically.
“What about a rooftop performance? We’d only need the permission of the building owner and we could play until someone put in a noise complaint. If we did it early enough, I think it would be fine,” Troy said, cupping his chin with the hand that wasn’t wrapped around Cindy’s waist. “We’d also have to find a way to get out of the studio Friday night.”
“Maybe I could help with that,” Jenna said, making us all jump as she waltzed into the room, flipping her blonde hair as she positioned herself in front of the couch, her body angled slightly so that Troy and Cindy had a clear view of her. “I’ll convince my dad that you guys need a break on Friday night. He’ll never know what you’re really up to until it’s too late.”
I glanced over at Mac to see his eyes narrowed on Jenna, his mouth turned down at the corners. “Why would you help us?” he asked cautiously.
Jenna tilted her head to the side, some of her arrogance fading as her hands dropped from her hips. Finally, she shrugged and looked at me. “You want one solid performance where you’re not linked to Rosemary Keen, right?” I nodded, frowning at her. “Well I want one where I’m not linked with Dominic Brick, owner of Hereafter Records. As long as Rose and I can perform a couple songs, I’ll help you.” Her green eyes flashed over the rest of the group, her confident posture returning as she stared everyone down. “You can’t do it without me anyway, so you might as well agree.”
My lips twitched as I looked at her, strangely unbothered by her attitude. “You have my vote,” I said and her eyes widened slightly before she nodded, her gaze moving to Mac, giving him a flirty smile.
“Mac?” she purred, batting her lashes at him. My kind feelings towards her disappeared in a blink and I glared at her but she didn’t notice because she was too busy eyeing Mac.
“It’s fine with me,” he said shrugging before he reached over and placed his hands over mine. I blinked down at the neck of the guitar that I had been squeezing so hard that it was digging into my skin painfully. “You’re going to break my guitar, Rose,” he said softly and when I looked up at him, there was a knowing smirk on his face.
I just scowled at him and loosened my grip on the guitar, knocking his hands off of mine as I let go completely, holding the guitar up with my legs and letting my hands drop onto my lap, suddenly in a bad mood. I narrowed my eyes up at Jenna who just raised an eyebrow at me, her lips curling into a superior grin but her smile faltered as Mac reached out and gripping my hand lightly, lacing our fingers together, making my heart melt as my eyes shifted from Jenna’s now angry features to focus on Mac’s crooked smile. He leaned in closer to me, bringing his mouth beside my ear as he whispered, “Are you jealous, Rose?”
I swallowed, feeling his breath blow my hair slightly, his lips touching my skin just a bit as he spoke, making my heart speed up immediately. “W-what?” I asked, losing my train of thought as his chest brushed against my shoulder.
He leaned back and his grin widened, his blue eyes bright as he just stared at me for a second, his smile slowly fading and his eyes losing some of their focus as he leaned forward. My eyes fell to half mast and I leaned closer to him, my heart beating furiously.
Suddenly I was standing up, looking down at Mac who was blinking at the empty space in front of him, confused. I frowned, my gaze traveling to the pressure on my wrist where Jenna’s red painted fingers were gripping. “What are you doing?’ I asked, my voice a little breathless as my heart finally started to slow.
“Shut up,” she growled, glaring at me.
I glanced over at Dan who was holding Mac’s acoustic guitar and standing up, looking down at his brother with an irritated expression on his face. “I hate you,” Dan said quietly.
Mac seemed to recover from his surprise and he stood up, clapping Dan on the shoulder. “No you don’t,” he said, giving his brother a serious look.
Dan sighed and shook his head, thrusting the acoustic guitar into Mac’s chest and scowling at his brother. “No I don’t. But you are incredibly annoying.”
“Let’s go,” Jenna said, tugging on my wrist, making me stumble slightly as we made our way out of the garage. Once we were in the foyer, she turned back to glare at Mac and Dan who were both standing with frowns on their faces as they prepared to follow us. “Don’t bother following us. We’re going to be talking about our cycles,” she said before slamming the door on their slightly grossed out faces.
“You did not just say that!” I shouted over the loud music, vaguely registering that it was now BTO singing You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet.
She just shook her head and effortlessly wound her way through the people standing around with red cups in their hands. I recognized a few of them from school and as I walked by, some of them even shouted their congratulations to me but I didn’t have enough time to reply as Jenna continued to tug on my arm.
“Jeez Jenna, what’s your problem?” I asked as she led me into the closed off dining room that no one ever ate in and plunked a bottle of rum on the table followed by two shot glasses. My eyes took in the bottle, widening before looking back up at her. “No,” I said firmly, backing up a step.
“I’ll tell my dad about the performance.”
I stopped, narrowing my eyes at her. “You wouldn’t.”
She shrugged, putting her hand on her hip while raising the other to examine her perfectly painted red nails. “Try me,” she said easily.
I let out a frustrated sigh and plopped down into one of the chairs, wincing as I looked at the full bottle in front of me. “Where did you even get that? You don’t even have a purse with you.” Jenna ignored me, a determined look on her face as she unscrewed the cap and filled the two shot glasses, sliding one over to me.
The door behind me opened and I turned in time to see a tall guy with long curly hair and nice brown eyes step into the room. “Hey, are you guys drinking in here? It was getting really crow─”
“Get. Out,” Jenna said, her voice filled with malice and her green eyes shooting fire at the guy who froze before leaving the room quickly, slamming the door behind him. Her uncompromising green eyes focused on me and I flinched at the anger in their depths. “Drink.”
She raised her shot glass and I took a deep breath, bringing mine up to clink against hers before tilting it into my mouth, wincing at the familiar burn as the alcohol slid down my throat and settled in my stomach. “Gross,” I groaned, my face contorted in disgust. “I don’t think I like rum,” I muttered, glaring at the bottle in front of me as Jenna reached over and grabbed the shot glass from my fingers and filled it.
“Shut up.” She shoved the full glass back at me and raised hers in the air. “Cheers, bitch,”
I narrowed my eyes at her, straightening my spine and clinking my glass against hers. “Cheers!” I said firmly, taking the shot like a pro, barely flinching at all as I swallowed the vile liquid. “And you’re the bitch, Jenna.”
Her eyes narrowed at me and her lips pursed before she reached out and grabbed the bottle, filling our glasses once more. “I’m a bitch? Me? You’re the one whole stole my man!” she shouted, standing up from her chair slightly to clink her glass against mine and I glared at her the whole time I drank the shot.
“Ugh,” I said, grimacing at the taste but somehow, keeping my glare on her as I gripped the bottle and filled our glasses. “He was never your man, Jenna and you know it.” I leaned forward, holding my glass out to her and she clinked hers against mine, tilting it into her mouth as I did the same.
“He should’ve been,” she said firmly, running a hand over her long hair and smirking at me. “We would make a great couple.”
“No you wouldn’t!” I shouted, standing from my chair.
“Yes we would!” she shouted back, standing from her chair and leaning towards me over the table her eyes filled with anger and frustration. “We would’ve made the cutest famous couple ever! Our names would be on all the headlines and our beautiful faces would be plastered over every screen!” I opened my mouth to speak but she held up her hand to stop me. “But,” she let a sigh and lowered her head before sitting back down in her chair. “But he’s never once looked at me the way he looks at you,” her eyes lifted to meet with mine for a brief moment and I saw resignation there as she let out a sigh. “So I guess what I’m saying is, he’s yours.”
I blinked, frowning down at her as I slowly sank back into my chair. “Oh,” I muttered. “Well, ignoring the fact that he was never yours to give, thanks.” Her eyes narrowed as she looked at me and her lips tightened again but she nodded, pouring more alcohol into our shot glasses. “So if we’re not fighting over Mac anymore, then why are we drinking?”
“Because I said so. Now take the damn shot and shut up.”
An hour later, the bottle was much emptier than it had been and I was having trouble focusing on it. “You know, drinking isn’t the answer, Jenna. Are you going to become one of those stars who’s constantly stumbling in and out of clubs, showing your underwear to the paparazzi?”
She raised her head from where it had been resting on her arm flung across the table, sending me a bright smile. “You think I’m going to be a star?”
I frowned, my body swaying slightly in my seat of its own accord. “I think you missed my point.”
She shook her head, waving an unsteady hand in front of her face. “No, I got it but I’m just focusing on the important part. You think I’m going to be a star?”
I giggled. “Yeah, Jenna, I do. When you sing now…” I searched for words, closing my eyes as I thought about her smooth voice. I bit my lip frowning, my mind blank thanks to the alcohol. “I can’t explain it,” I said quietly, opening my eyes to frown down at her, her body slumped over the table, one hand flung over the surface and the other one peeling the label on the liquor bottle. “You have to sing. I’ll explain it when you sing.” I moved around the table and grabbed her hand away from the liquor bottle.
“I can’t sing right now,” she grumbled but she stood up and followed me out of the dining room. I paused for a second, realizing the party was still going strong, Mac and Dan’s house now filled with people, most of whom I didn’t recognize. “Good thing Mr. Parker isn’t here,” I shouted, giving Jenna a serious look over my shoulder.
“Is Mr. Parker hot?” Jenna shouted back. I just rolled my eyes not bothering to answer her as we made our way through the crowd, ignoring everyone as I moved with purpose towards the garage. I opened the door, sparing a glance at the empty couch, briefly wondering where the rest of the gang went before the thought floated from my mind.
I set up two stools beside each other, grabbed the acoustic guitar that was resting in its stand and took a seat, jerking my head to the other one. “Sit,” I said firmly, looking at Jenna expectantly.
“You know, I’m not sure I like you when you’ve been drinking,” she replied, putting her hands on her hips but when one hand slipped to dangle at her side, she left it there, narrowing her eyes at me before saying in a slightly slurred voice, “You’re really bossy.”
I raised my eyebrows at her. “Seriously? Whose idea was it to get drunk in the first place?” I vaguely registered that my words hadn’t been entirely slur free.
“Good point,” she grumbled, sitting on her stool. “Can you even play right now?”
“We’re about to find out,” I replied, setting my hands on the strings, a wide smile blooming across my face at the feel of the instrument in my hands. “Let’s do Songbird,” I said quietly, closing my eyes as I started strumming lightly. I preferred the sound of the piano in this song but as Jenna started singing, her sweet voice slightly raspy from drinking, I forgot about the difference and just played, swaying slightly as she sang along.
“Do you feel it?” I whispered, not opening my eyes as I continued to play once the lyrics were done, my fingers moving over the same chords from the song, adjusting them slightly until I was playing something else. “It’s like, the music is moving into your body, making your heart beat faster with every chord. Sometimes, when I hear a song for the first time and it’s really good, it changes something inside of me. Something shifts and I realize that what they’re singing about or what they’re feeling when they play, is exactly what I’ve been feeling for my whole life but I’d never really realized it until that moment. Do you ever feel that way?”
“Yeah,” she said, her voice breathless.
I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, trying to collect the feelings that music gave me and put them into words. “When I first heard you sing it wasn’t like that. When I first heard you, it was mechanical, there was no soul in your words.”
“That’s kind of offensive,” she said, irritation in her voice.
“Shh,” I whispered, focusing on the chords my fingers were producing and the spell that the guitar was putting me under. “Then when we went to Toronto, you found your voice.” My eyes opened halfway and a dreamy smile spread across my lips as my fingers played the opening bars of Landslide. “It was always there, you know. I could see it in your eyes when you watched me play. You love music the way I do and maybe you’re irritating and you have a bad attitude but because you love music, I can’t hate you.” I frowned for a second, my smile faltering as she looked at me with her forehead wrinkled. “Although, I would like you even more if you stopped flirting with Mac.”
Her lips twitched and a small smile worked its way onto her lips. “No promises,” she said, reaching out, nearly tipping her stool over as she slapped her hand across the strings of my guitar, stopping me. “Start that song over,” she said sitting back and clearing her throat, her eyes lit with the same excitement that I felt whenever I played. I started Landslide from the beginning and this time she sang along with it. Her voice lacked the power that singers like Janis Joplin had but there was a vulnerability in it that made you want to listen and she delivered the words with such conviction that no matter who her father was, as long as she sang, she would be a star.
“You know, Rose,” she said, leaning over once the song was done and slinging an arm across my shoulders. “You’re not so bad. I think that if you weren’t stealing the man of my dreams, I might even like you.”
I felt a goofy smile stretch across my lips as I leaned slightly towards her. “Really? Because lately I’ve been thinking that we could be friends. I mean, we’re going to be on tour together and it would be so much fun if we─”
“All right, that’s enough,” she said, removing her arm from around my shoulders. “I didn’t say I liked you, I said if circumstances were different there was a possibility that I would but now I’m thinking that I was horribly wrong.” She shuddered and stood from her stool, looking down at me with one eyebrow raised obviously taking in my torn jeans and baggy black t-shirt and comparing them to her designer jeans and form fitting long sleeved red shirt that showed off her cleavage.
“Oh,” I muttered. “Well you’re kind of a bitch anyway.”
“Thank you,” she said, grinning.
“That wasn’t a compliment,” I mumbled.
“It’s part of my persona so for me, it was a compliment.” Her grin faded as she tilted her head to the side, considering me with slightly unfocused eyes. “You’ve been really sad lately, Rose. I don’t care why but it’s getting kind of annoying. Can you cheer up, please?”
I blinked up at her, nodding slowly, not sure what to say.
“Good. Now, I’m going to join the rest of the party. You coming?”
“Maybe in a bit,” I said quietly, not ready to let go of the guitar just yet.
“Perfect,” she said, moving towards the door. “I didn’t really want to be seen entering the party with you anyway. It might damage my reputation.” She sent a backwards wave at me before walking out the door, letting it fall shut behind her.
I shook my head and sighed, standing from the stool and wobbling slightly for a second, realizing that I was quite drunk and not liking it. Mentally, I cursed Jenna for making me drink again, remembering the horrible hangover I’d had last time and wincing as I made my way to the couch. I sat down and curled my legs beneath me, resting the guitar across my lap and strumming random chords for a while, letting my mind wander as I played.
I had been surprised that Jenna noticed my sadness and just thinking about it brought back thoughts of Olivia and Jocelyn. I frowned as frustration curling in my stomach, wanting to find answers to impossible questions. How could I tell a thirteen year old girl that I was sorry that her mother died because of me? Worse, how could I tell her that I was starting to think it wasn’t my fault at all?
I sighed, letting my eyes slide closed as I remembered the sound of Jocelyn’s voice clogged with tears as she shouted at me. Without thought, my fingers formed the chords to a song I’d been listening to a lot lately. It was called Pretend to Sleep by a singer called Money Mark and the lyrics seemed to resonate within me on a deep level. After the intro, I was a bit shocked when my own voice emerged, singing the lyrics along with the music, my voice rougher than usual from alcohol and the emotion clogging my throat as I thought of Jocelyn and Olivia.
Talk to me
Did I see your eyes start to open?
Stay complete
I know that you hear what I’ve spoken
Pretend to sleep
It’s your only guarantee
Pretend to sleep
It’s your security
No one can wake you
Don’t fade tonight
There’s a touch that you are wishing
Hold on tight
Sorry if the words are missing
Pretend to sleep
It’s your only guarantee
Pretend to sleep
It’s your security
No one can wake you.
Silent tears dripped down my face, landing on the body of the guitar as I sat there in the silence of the room, the muffled sounds of a party making their way to me through the soundproofed walls. I swiped at my cheeks before reaching for my phone, pressing number 1 on my speed dial.
“Hello?” Mac shouted into the receiver, the party making him hard to hear but the sound of his voice caused a small smile to tug at the corners of my mouth even as tears continued to travel down my cheeks.
“Mac,” I whispered, my throat clogging with emotion.
“Rose? What is it? Are you okay?”
“Mac, I could really use a hug.”
“I can’t here you! Where are you? I’ll come find you!”
“I love you,” I said quietly, my forehead wrinkling in a frown as I said the words out loud. “I know everyone says that when they’re drunk but I think about it all the time, even when I’m sober. Mac, I love you a lot and it’s kind of scary because everyone I’ve ever loved has either thrown me aside or died.” My heart clenched at the thought of Mac dying and fresh tears tumbled out of my eyes, traveling down my cheeks. “Just don’t die, okay? It’s all right if you don’t love me back but please don’t die.”
“What? Rose, I didn’t get any of that. Are you in the garage? I just saw Jenna so you two must be done talking about your um, you know, by now. If you’re in the garage, hang up and I’ll be right there.”
“Okay,” I said quietly, relieved and sad at the same time that he hadn’t heard me. I moved the phone away from my ear and clicked the End button, leaning my head back and letting it rest against the couch as I waited for him.
“Rose,” he said softly as he walked into the garage a couple minutes later, the smile on his face turning to a scowl as he caught sight of the tears in my eyes. “What happened? Who made you cry? Was it Jenna?” he moved to the couch and clenched his hands into fists at his sides, anger sliding across his gaze as he glanced around, looking for the person who made me cry.
A smile stretched across my face as I set the guitar on the coffee table and stood up. His eyes roamed over my features, a frown on his forehead as he continued to look at me, his expression turning from angry to puzzled as I just stood there about a foot away from him, grinning like a fool. My heart was beating like crazy as I let my eyes roam over his features, taking in his blue eyes that were slightly darker than usual, his sharp cheekbones and his strong jaw that had a light dusting of a five o’clock shadow on it. Slowly, I reached my hand up and brushed my fingers lightly across the stubble on his jaw, the contact making my hand tingle and my heart skip a beat. “Can I have a hug?” I whispered finally, my eyes moving to connect with his again.
He swallowed and nodded slowly, his eyes glazing over slightly as he moved closer to me, wrapping his arms around me. I sighed, turning my head to the side, resting my cheek on his chest and dropping my raised arm to wrap it, along with my other one, around his waist loosely. I let out a contented sigh, breathing in his familiar scent, letting the feel of him wrap around my heart, erasing some of the confusion and pain that I’d been feeling.
“Are you going to tell me why you were crying?” he asked after a while, his hands moving in soothing circles on my back.
“I was just playing Pretend to Sleep and thinking about Jocelyn and I guess I got all emotional,” I mumbled into his chest.
“Money Mark?” he asked and I nodded, surprised that he’d recognized the song. “I guess that makes sense,” he said quietly. “How long are you going to blame yourself for Olivia’s death?” he asked after a moment of silence.
I stiffened slightly in his embrace but his hands continued to move on my back, making my muscles relax again. “I don’t know,” I whispered after a while, sighing. “I can’t change the fact that it really seems like my fault. I know I wasn’t driving the car that hit us and I know that I didn’t force her to work with me but I knew she spent too much time with me. I knew she missed her kids and I never told her to go visit them.” I squeezed my eyes shut, thinking about the car crash and the names she’d whispered as she’d lain there, bleeding to death. “I was her employer but I treated her like she was my mother. I wanted her to stay with me because I was lonely and she stayed with me because she pitied me.”
“She loved you,” he said softly, tightening his arms around me, planting a kiss on the top of my head. “She loved you and that’s why she stayed with you. She loved you because how could she not? You’re amazing, Rose.”
“No Mac, you’re amazing,” I said, leaning back to grin up at him, trying not to show him just how much his words meant to me just in case he decided to take them back.
He frowned down at me, a puzzled look on his face. “There’s something different about you.”
My grin widened and I said, “I’m drunk.”
“What?” he asked, scowling down at me. “Was it Jenna again?”
I nodded cheerfully, my eyes glazing over as I stared up at him. “You’re very handsome,” I said bluntly.
His lips twitched into a smirk. “You think so?” I nodded, my smile softening as his widened, making him even more handsome. “Do you want to know what I think?” he asked quietly, his smile disappearing as he reached out a hand and cupped my cheek gently in his warm palm.
“Yes,” I whispered, feeling my heart flip flop from his touch and from the look in his eyes.
“I think you’re beautiful, Rose. I think you’re the most amazing girl I’ve ever met and I also think that it’s time for you to go to bed.”
I frowned. “The first two were really nice but that last one was kind of a letdown,” I mumbled, making him chuckle as he shifted positions to wrap his arm around my shoulders, leading me out of the garage and into the house.
The party was winding down and people kept slapping Mac on the back as they headed out. Mac grunted in response, focused on steering through the people, heading towards the stairs. Finally, we made it to the second floor and I frowned when we stepped into the guest bedroom and he slipped his arm off of my shoulders. “I’ll go get you something to wear,” he said quietly, a strange tension in his voice as he left the room. I moved into the room further to sit on the edge of the bed, putting a hand on my chest to try to figure out what this sense of disappointment was. I was still frowning in confusion when he came back into the room with a grey t-shirt and a pair of black sweatpants which he handed to me. When I reached my out to grab the clothes, our hands brushed and electric tingles shot up and down my arm, making me realize just why I was feeling so disappointed.
I wanted to sleep next to him. I wanted him to wrap his arms around me the way he’d done in the past and I wanted to feel his steady breathing brush across my cheek as he slept. Lately it seemed that if Mac wasn’t anywhere near me, sleeping was virtually impossible so when he ran his hand through his hair and shot his eyes up briefly to meet mine, muttering a quick good night before heading out of the room, I sighed and resigned myself to another night of tossing and turning.
Awkwardly, I changed into the clothes he’d given me, trying not to fall over as my foot caught on the soft black sweatpants but I ended up using the bed to steady myself, throwing my hand out in panic before I could land on my face. Finally I managed to dress, and lightly, I ran my fingers over the duvet, unwilling to climb in unless Mac was there too. I sat on the edge, waiting for a while, hoping that maybe he would come back but he didn’t and after about a half an hour, I figured that he would probably be sleeping by now. Quietly, I snuck out of the room, tip toeing down the silent hallway, making my way to the door that had a big Van Halen poster on it. I’d never been in Mac’s room before but I knew which one was his. I took a deep breath as I reached out to grip the doorknob, turning it slowly, praying that the door’s hinges wouldn’t creek when I opened it.
I pushed it open just a crack and peaked inside, the light of the moon allowing me to see a couple stray socks on the floor and a few CDs and albums littered about. I opened the door a little further and saw the foot of Mac’s queen sized bed covered in his black duvet that outlined his legs, his feet pointing into the air, making the blanket tent slightly. I pushed again, revealing more of him as I did so until I could see his face. He was lying on his back with his hands behind his head and his eyes were closed as his chest rose and fell with each deep breath. I felt my own breath catch in my throat as a small smile curved my lips before I started to creep into the room, closing the door as quietly as possible behind me. There was only a small click when it shut but for a second my heart stopped, thinking for sure that I was caught but my head whipped up to look at his eyes and I breathed an inward sigh of relief to see that he was still asleep.
Slowly, I crept around the bed, squinting in the dim lighting, making sure I wasn’t stepping on anything as I made my way into his room. Finally I was standing at the edge of his bed, my hand gripping the duvet cover and lifting slightly, my eyes widening when I saw his bare chest, still rising and falling slowly. I lowered the blanket, my heart beating way too fast as a flush stole across my skin and shivers ran up and down my spine. One thought was running through my mind as I stood there, looking down at his handsome face with the corner of his blanket clutched in my hands, What if he was naked?
Setting my shoulders resolutely, I decided that a quick peak was in order and I ducked my head to look under the blanket, sighing in relief, or maybe disappointment, I noticed he was wearing a pair of plaid pyjama pants. I shook my head, a small smile stretching my face as I silently admonished myself for half hoping that he wasn’t wearing anything. Was I some kind of pervert?
Slowly, I eased my way under the blanket, his soft mattress dipping as more of my weight settled onto it and I kept my eyes on him to make sure he wasn’t waking up. Maybe if I woke up early enough, I could escape before he even knew I was there and then I’d never have to explain to him that I couldn’t seem to sleep through the night without him.
Finally, I was all the way under the blanket, my head resting comfortably on the pillow behind me. I didn’t have much space because Mac’s body was kind of in the middle of the bed but as soon as I felt the head radiating off of his body, my eyes started to droop. I snuggled in a little closer, thinking that maybe I could just slide my arm around his waist without waking him. I mean, we’d made it this far, maybe he was a really heavy sleeper?
I swallowed hard, raising my hand under the covers and snaking it around his waist, pulling my body closer to his until it was pressed against his side, my head resting on his chest, just below his chin. I blinked, realizing that I’d adjusted my position a lot more than I had planned but I couldn’t make myself move. It was so comfortable like this and I could already feel sleep tugging at me.
I frowned as I heard a strange sound from his chest, wondering if maybe he had indigestion. It came again and then again and suddenly his body was shaking with it. I lifted my head to see his smirking face looking down at me, his eyes open and amusement dancing in them as he laughed. “Are you comfortable?” he asked between chuckles.
My eyes were wide and I was thankful for the dim lighting because I could feel my face heat. “Um,” I said brilliantly, wincing as I realized that I’d been caught. “How long have you been awake for?”
“I was never asleep, Rose.” I winced, thinking about the way I’d lifted the blanket to peek underneath. “Were you disappointed?” he asked, his voice low and husky as he asked the question with a smile on his face.
“What are you talking about?” I asked but I knew the answer.
“Were you disappointed that I was wearing pyjamas?” he whispered, wiggling his eyebrows at me.
“No!” I hissed, slapping my hand against his shoulder, pushing away from him, too embarrassed to stay in this room any longer.
His arms moved from behind his head to wrap around me, tugging me down against him once more. “Don’t go,” he said quietly, his humour fading as he looked down at me. “I’ll stop teasing you. The truth is, I wanted to lead you here in the first place but you were drunk, you’re still kind of drunk, and I didn’t want to seem like I was taking advantage of that but now that you’re here, I can’t let you go, Rose.” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed his eyes flashing with some emotion that I couldn’t really see in the darkness and his arms tightened around me further. “I promise I won’t try anything, I just like it when you sleep next to me.”
“Oh,” I said breathlessly, my heart melting at his softly spoken words. “Okay.”
He sighed and shifted our positions so that we were facing each other, his arm slipping under my head while the other one wound around my waist, tugging me against him. I breathed out a sigh of relief, my palms resting on his firm chest so that I could feel his quickened heart beat as his breath brushed across my face, shifting my hair slightly as my eyes slipped closed. Almost immediately, sleep started pulling me under and as his heart rate slowed, matching mine, I felt a dreamy smile stretch across my lips.
“What are you smiling about?” he whispered.
My smile stretched slightly and I kept my eyes closed as I answered. “Our hearts are beating at the same time.”
I frowned as I thought I felt his heart stop for a second before it resumed its normal pace, matching with mine once again. “Oh,” he said, his quiet voice hoarse as his hand tightened on the t-shirt I was wearing before it relaxed again, laying his palm flat against my back once more.
“Mm,” I said, my frown disappearing as sleep started to tug me under. Just before I lost consciousness, I saw the words I love you float across my mind, aimed at Mac and even though he couldn’t hear them, it made me content just to think them as I fell into a deep sleep.
a/n sorry to DN fans...I just felt like uploading this one first haha. There will be a new DN sooooon!!!! Love you guys!
Part of me wishes I was cool enough to have super long rants filled with useful advice like "Don't walk around corners" but alas, I am not that cool nor do I have a sexy neighbour to brag about...though I wish I did.
Maybe I will give everyone a piece of advice though because I saw a video that really kind of bothered me...
So no more mocking my friend, choositwisely lol but in all seriousness, I wish girls would stop looking at media images to base their ideals after. Look at yourself in the mirror and find something to love because no matter what you look like, there are people who already love you and so many more who are willing to if you just let them.