I don't understand why I did not upload any of the chapters I was working on. So confused with myself right now. Ugh, I hate when stories don't update for a long period of time and that's what I did yet I had the chapter. UGHHHHHH! Such a hypocrite. Sigh... Enjoy I guesssss... It's been a while.
Read if you dare...
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He said something of the most depriving.
"Your innocence, Doll."
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I swatted at his finger.
"You'd go that low," I said slowly with a slice of sarcasm. Trying to understand his point. I don't get it.
I didn't look at his face but I knew he was flaming. By the swat of the finger, I knew he was about to pounce.
Before my mind could comprehend to what was happening. He had pinned me to the bed. Anger in his voice.
"Don't think for one second you can disobey me like that! I can take it right here right now," he demanded placing his hands on my waist. Tugging at the thin material. I placed my hands over his roughly.
"No," I said. Confidence lost as I could feel the material give in.
His smirk was sick. His mind was crazy. Simply he was;
Sick and crazy.
"Beg." He stopped pulling it down. I stared at him. No emotion on my face. You want me to beg? Huh. Wow. I guess I should've expected it.
My pants were at the hem of the underwear. Right when he grabbed my waist to hoist it down further.
I looked down in shame. No tears. But purely ashamed.
"Stop. Please." I said quietly. He raised one hand from my waist to my chin.
"What was that, Doll?" His eyes pierced into mine.
"I said don't do it. Just.. fucking don't do it." I pleaded. My voice cracked. In the worst possible way. My hands went flying to my face.
Muffling the cries that might've come out. I had no tears. Just mere cries. His hands retreated from my waist.
"Doll.."
"Leave me alone," I said quietly. I feel like a kid. A little defenseless kid who can't do anything with their life. Just how I was when I was a child. So fucking weak.
I can't even stand up for what's right anymore. That's really all I wanted in life. Now I have to deal with knives. They're making me go fucking crazy.
Fuck the pity for there tired souls. Cause I'm a dead one.
"I didn't mean it." He exclaimed before walking out closing the door.
Whatever.
I don't give a fuck if you meant it, or if that was the finest fucking joke in the whole world. I said I was gonna figure out a way out, but now I mean it. Done living in this hell.
The rest of the day went by in a blur. The only thing I really remember was when I went to the bathroom. I looked at my reflection. The person in the mirror resembled a broken person.
'it's not even that bad.'
It could be worse. I agreed. They could've raped me. Slaughtered me. Done other craziness.
"We can get through this, Trinity. Yes, we can. Even though it feels like absolute ish. Great, I'm talking to myself. Ugh!"
Sigh. Thank you that they didn't.
Now I just hope that's not what revolves in their mind throughout the day. I fell asleep after that.
(I'm sorry I know it's like she falls asleep a lot. But she can't do it. She's sick of living there and all she wants to do is die. Basically.)
***
"Bang bang bang!" I jolted awake to the sound of someone slamming their first on a door. I started breathing really heavily. What did I do? What did I do?Sooner or later a figure started trailing in. I froze. It looked like Blake. I assumed it was Blake.
He was walking in sideways. Tilting left and right looking like he was gonna fall. Go ahead. Fall to your death.
Only if this was a cliff...
Then again, who knows this might be a cliff. Oh, how great that'd be. Underline the sarcasm.
"Oh, my little Judy! Come here give me a hug!" He sounded like something my grandfather would say. My eyes were wide. Yet my mind was filled with so many things.
All being assassin like. Could I cut him with the knife? But where would the knife be? Can I drug him? I don't have pills.
Needles? Kick him in the groin? But—
'Stop stop stop. Don't do any of those things. You'll be in more trouble then you are now.'
He fucking deserves it!
"No hug? It's cool. Just get over here. Or I'll have to go over there!" He yelled laughing to himself.
"My Judy. My very little Judity." I sat up staring at the clearly intoxicated man. Not knowing what to do. Except I did. Luke did this.
Plenty of times before. But he was only eighteen. He wasn't very strong. Persuading him to go to sleep was easy. I just don't know what Blake would do...
Should I just call James or escort him to another room?
"Fine, I guess I'll have to go to you. Since you don't listen." He slurred. Trying to walk to the bed. Making it successfully. He tried to put his arms around me. One catching my shoulder. The other clearly missing.
"I love you so much you know that?" I cringed.
"G-go to James," I said stuttering. Moving his laying hand to his side.
"Don't touch a man while he's drunk. He might swing at yeah." He laughed. I frowned. Why are you laughing?
"James not here."
"What?" I asked. Shocked. He has to be lying. But does a drunk mouth lie? I can't decipher that right now.
"James isn't here. Not here at nights. Comes back early morning." His eyes were bloodshot. The blue almost as if it was gone forever.
"An intoxicated person never lies. If you needed info. Ask him or her while their drunk." I remember my brother slurred to me one night. I was really disappointed in him. Coming home drunk every night. Scaring me half to death.
The haunting memories won't stop.
"I told you he's not here!" He yelled. I jumped. This is where I can't handle drunk people. Overly aggressive or emotionally upset. I should know. Abby gets clearly upset. Luke aggressive. Very aggressive.
One day he wanted to burn the house. To the ground. He was out of it. He had a lighter and the spare gasoline my father keeps for the snowmobile.
"Luke stop it! Put the lighter down. Your just way too drunk." I pleaded with him. He shook his messy head. Laughing.
"I want this place gone. You didn't have to hear our parents arguing. The first time he threatened her to leave this house. This is a death trap. This is a place where when I'm gone this is gone." He concluded. Inching the lit fire to the gasoline can.
"You want to kill me, Luke? You really want to do this?" I asked. He shook his head.
"Get out the house." He demanded.
"Unlike you, this is the only place I have. Whether I like it or not."
"Live with me and Thomas." He said. I shook my head. I don't even know who Thomas is?
"I can't do that! Please stop." I pleaded with him. He shook his head. But soon cringed back in pain.
"My head hurts." He said. I ran into the kitchen. Grabbing four Motrin pms and water. Running back to his room before he could do something he'd regret.
"Take this," I said.
"Motrin... It'll stop your headache." I lied. Just wanting him to go to sleep.
"Thanks, Trini. This is why I love you as a sister." I cringed watching him take the Motrin pm. It didn't last long. Till he let go of the lighter and gasoline. Falling asleep on his bed. That was the beginning of him leaving for the army.
I shook my head wanting to get rid of the treacherous memory.
"Why don't you.." He threw up on my shirt. Reddish brownish liquid. End of the line!
"Let's go." I got off the bed clearly annoyed beyond belief. He laughed. You just threw up on me!
"Where we going? My room. Are we fucking yet?" I ignored his statement. Opened the bathroom door connected to this room.
"Come on." I groaned. This is ridiculous. He could hardly walk straight. I huffed having him lean against me.
"I'd love to fuck." He murmured. I bet he had a smirk on as well.
"Come on!" I yelled. I was so mad I can't believe any of this.
"I'm not going unless you fuck me." He stated cracking a smirk. Holding onto me.
"Sure," I said monotoned. Rubbing my eyes trying to clear my vision. This room was way too dark. I turned the lamp on.
"What?" He questioned. Sitting on the bed curious. I huffed. You won't remember anything.
"Get up and I will," I said aggravated I had to repeat myself. I was already soaking in his vomit. He stayed still sitting on the bed.
"Oh my god Blake." I walked over to him on the bed yanking his arm. He got up after that. Falling to the ground. Then barely standing up. I held his wrist walking to the bathroom. He sat on the toilet seat. I flicked the light on. I heard him groan.
"Too bright."
"Well, that's what you get," I mumbled annoyingly. Fucking wake me up at some god knows what time it is. Ugh! I grabbed a paper towel wetting it trying to clean the vomit off my shirt.
"No Trinity it's really bright." He complained again.
"Next tim..." The paper towel dropped from my hand. My jaw dropped. I looked at him covering his eyes. My breath hitched in my throat.
He just called me Trinity. Is this some fucking nightmare? If so wake me up! I started pinching myself. Ow. Never-mind. Won't do that. I picked up the paper towel with shaky hands. Throwing it away. I grabbed two more paper towels. Wetting one handing it to Blake. The other one getting pressed on my face.
My heart was racing. My breathing was getting. I don't even know. I breathed in and out. I heard him chuckle. I'm getting a headache.
I think I'm gonna have a panic attack.
"Breathe Doll breathe." He said. His voice calmed me a tad bit. Just a bit. Until it made my heart race more. So if he knew who I was? Why didn't he.. What? It doesn't make sense! Questions were forming in my mind. Too many.
I turned to look at Blake. His eyes staring at me. I composed myself. Looked back down at my shirt. Then his mouth that still had whatever the contains of the vomit where.
I wet another paper towel.
"There's stuff in your mouth," I stated. Cleaning it up for him. I feel like a fucking mother.
"I know. I just wanted you to wipe it off." He said. I ignored him. Throwing the paper towel away to the garbage nearby.
I looked down at my hideous appearance. I've been wearing this since I've come here. I most likely stink a hella lot.
The shirt looks like it's gonna break. My pants are nearly torn to the hinges.
"Do you have another shirt I can wear?" I asked. Looking down at this... Ugh. Don't even want to think about it. He pulled off the shirt he was wearing. Staring at me to take it.
I was staring at his chest. Only because I admired people with tattoos. I always wanted to get one. But I knew my parents would freak. Parents meaning dad. He had a heart organ where his heart would be. But with a knife going through it. It said print. But I couldn't see it without walking closer.
"All's fair in love and war when we're all dead." He said. I glanced up at him staring at my appearance. His stare intimidating me.
"Nice tatt." I simply said. He was sobering up. But no wonder still very drunk.
Just by his breath, you could conclude he had a fun time. I wonder what happened to make him this drunk? Then again my caring instinct is too quick at times. Care you're turning off. Shut down.
I pulled my shirt off not caring at this point. Stare at me pervert. I don't care anymore. I pulled his shirt over my head. Feeling very small. It wasn't that his shirt was small it was just damn long.
When I looked in the mirror to see how bad I looked, I saw Blake staring at me. Nothing new from earlier I guess. I raised a brow. A smirk planted on his face. I rolled my eyes. I picked up my shirt giving it to him.
"I don't know where to put this," I exclaim. Glancing at the entire bathroom. He took it to only throw it on the floor.
"What was the point of me picking it up?" I asked voice rose. I saw him shrug his shoulders.
"Are you gonna throw up anymore?" I questioned, wanting to fall back to sleep. One of his hands were laced in his hair. The other on his stomach.
"Nah think I'm all good." He said. I looked at him huffing. He better be.
"Hope so," I mumbled. I looked at him trying to see what to do. He didn't give signal or response. Well. Okay. I walked back to the bed. I'm going to sleep now. Forever.
I got under the gray sheet this time feeling a bit cold. Then before when I plopped myself asleep. Ready to just lay there forever.
I heard him spit something out. Not throw up, but spit. Just go to your room. Done being a mother for today. I saw the lamp go off. Cool.
The bed dipped slightly. Why are you still here? I wanted to groan. Until did I feel the bed dip on both sides of me did I think to open my eyes. His arms were on either side of me, holding himself up.
"What was that you said? If I went to the bathroom we'd fuck?" He asked staring down at me. Hunger in his still dilated bloodshot eyes. Fuck. I thought drunk people weren't supposed to remember what you say? He chuckled. I don't like that at all...
"Good thing I'm not pissing drunk. Or else I would've taken the opportunity." His voice still seemed to slur it out. He inched down to my face. I felt his breath fan my skin. Nose brushing. I knew I was breathing heavily. He placed a gentle but nerve-racking kiss to the top of my nose before his head tilted down further.
Just. Above. My. Ear.
"Don't worry doll. Not gonna do it." He said whispering. He looked me in the eye. Before finally moving from his hovering position over me, to next to me. I knew he wasn't leaving. It brought goosebumps to my skin. He moved me closer to me. Pulling me by the waist. Hands rough. Any other circumstance I would've objected.
Too tired to though. I let my mind be at rest. While my body surrendered.
And sadly that didn't happen.
Gosh, he said my name. What the fuck am I gonna do?
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Gosh, it's been a whileeeeeee! But chapters will be going up soon. No joke I'm rushing to post this sooooo byessssss! *Hearts all around*
Bye Lovely people! 😋✌️