"I want to finish it," he whispered, a husky edge to his voice, "but I don't know how to without hurting you."
He wrapped his other arm around her waist before lifting his right hand to stroke her cheek from her ear down slowly to her chin. His soft caress felt like the strumming of an electric guitar. The vibrations wavered through her hot flesh and into her core.
"Trust me," he reiterated. "I want to find it."
Her stomach clenched as a physical ache twisted within.
"And I want you to understand everything before I finish it," he said as he lowered his face and pressed his forehead to hers. "You deserve to know beforehand what you're getting into because once we complete the matebond, there's no going back. It will change everything."
"What more is there to know?"
It was hard to form the words. She wanted his lips on hers. His hot, naked body against hers. If she were a virgin, she might be nervous about having sex with Stone, but no. She knew what she was missing and it was driving her crazy. Her body was screaming for his as she pressed every curve against him.
"Besides the origins, histories, and spirituality of lycans, and a few details of my past," he said, "the main things are for you to accept my other form, and for me to find a way to complete the bond without risking your life."
He grazed his lips over hers but pulled away when she moved forward to grasp them. She moaned in protest to his withdrawal.
The hand that caressed her cheek slipped back behind her head and tangled in her hair, pulling gently to tilt her head up. Her eyes met his and she could see the lingering hunger behind his controlled expression.
"You remember at the garden, I explained about Adelaide's mark?"
"Yes." How could she forget?
"You remember I told you that it was most common to bite the shoulder when soulmates mate for the first time?"
"Yes."
"It's a two-step process to complete the matebond. Sex and marking. Both are necessary to complete it," he said. "Listen to me carefully."
"Okay," she said breathlessly.
It was hard to breathe. The intensity of his desire was burning through her that, coupled with her own, she wasn't sure she'd be able to wrap her head around whatever he was saying. If it weren't for his gaze holding hers so intently, she might have gotten lost in her fantasies of his lips on her body. Somehow though, she felt grounded and connected, even though her body was on fire with desire.
"There have been several instances where I wanted to sink my teeth into you and claim you without you knowing, but I stopped myself. You deserve to know how dangerous it is for me to do this.
"Even though you are my soulmate, a lycan's bite is like poison to humans. It's where the werewolf lore of olden times comes from. When a human gets bitten by a lycan, they're cursed to undergo a slow and excruciating death that can take a few years. They go mad by the end. They become bloodthirsty, ruthless killing machines every full moon with no control over it."
She shivered as his thumb trailed across her cheek again and held her chin.
"Tell me, how can I do that to you?"
She swallowed.
He closed his eyes, breaking the hold he had on her, and inhaled forcefully. "I can't. Not only do I risk your life by the simple act of mating with you and getting you pregnant, but I could do that to you as well. The two go hand-in-hand, nearly impossible to prevent the marking when my seed spills into you and our souls connect. We lose all control then."
Her heart was racing a marathon and her thoughts whirled like a tornado, she didn't know what to make of anything.
It was a dark and heavy truth.
"Then, what do we do?" she asked.
"That's what I've been trying to figure out," he said. "That's what I hope to find out when we go visit the Spirit Walker. Whatever truths, possibilities, hopes... I'm sure there are some answers out there somewhere, or else why would the Goddess grant me a human soulmate?"
"So, we have to hold off until then?"
He nodded as his eyes gazed longingly on her lips. "Until then, I want to learn how to touch you without hurting you."
Her breath hitched in her throat as the meaning of his words played across her mind.
Touch her? Where? In what way?
Her head was swimming. The best she could muster was a breathy, "Okay."
She barely got the word out before his lips were holding hers. It was tender, filled with longing, warmth, and love. His lips languished over hers, stroking them softly, as his hands reached up to cradle her cheeks in his palms. His caresses were so gentle, so slow, that she could hardly handle the emotions they conjured up within her.
She had never been kissed this deeply in her life. It was almost bittersweet. As if he was taking the time to memorize every inch of her lips.
When her lips parted and his tongue slipped between them, his essence filled her. They groaned in unison before he pulled away, placing the tenderest of kisses along her jaw.
"Stone, please," she gasped, her legs buckling under her. "Take me upstairs now."
Hooking his arm behind her knees, he lifted her effortlessly into his arms and carried her up to his room. He laid her down on her back on the bed before climbing on next to her. He propped himself up on one elbow while he brushed wisps of hair from her face with his free hand.
His eyes never left hers as he brushed his knuckles across her cheek.
A nervousness crept in now. The weight of his words settling onto her chest and pressing down. But it was her desire that made her nervous most of all.
What if he lost control?
"Aubree," he whispered, "your scent has shifted. Why are you scared?"
She swallowed as heat rushed to her face. "I want you, but... what if you lose control?"
"I won't," he said. "I'm testing my control so that when the time comes to mate for the first time, I'll be better prepared so I won't lose control and hurt you."
Reaching for her hand, he entwined their fingers together and pressed them to his lips. "At least, that is my hope."
She struggled to swallow.
He did as well.
Closing his eyes for a moment, he sighed before leaning down and kissing her forehead. "Never mind. We'll skip it today."
Disappointment filled her, making her frown and her heart to sink. Yet, there was an inkling of relief—a sign that she wasn't ready, even though she wanted to be.
Stupid brain kicking in and ruining the moment. She wanted to kick it back in the butt. Or rather, she supposed it would be the front of the brain that was to blame, rather than the back. Or was it the limbic system lodged deep within her brain to blame for changing her emotions?
It didn't matter because Stone shifted his weight and settled down next to her. The moment lost.
She couldn't tear herself away from him and didn't like even the inch of distance between them now. Turning over, she curled into his body and rested her head on his chest, her arm reaching out across to hold him. He stroked her hair as she bit back the regret.
"I'm sorry," she said.
"For what?"
"For ruining the moment."
He kissed her hairline. "Don't apologize. It's better we take this slow anyway."
She nodded, although she couldn't help chiding herself for ruining a perfectly hot and sexy moment because her brain had to suddenly register the meaning of his words.
She understood his hesitation now. Between the risks of her dying in childbirth, she could turn into a monster and die a slow and painful death in a few years after going completely insane.
What a trip that would be? she thought sarcastically.
"Lycans and humans really weren't meant to be together, huh?" she mused more so to herself than to Stone.
He hummed under his breath as he rubbed circles into her lower back. "You're putting the puzzle pieces together now?"
She nodded again.
"I told you I carried a heavy burden on my shoulders. This is only part of it."
Sighing, she nuzzled deeper into his chest. Deep down, she wished she could forget about it all. Forget that he was a lycan. Forget that she couldn't have children with him. Forget that being with him was harder than cutting diamonds. Forget that her life was in his hands, despite that fact that he was strong enough to crush her if he lost control. Or turned her into a monster.
You sure can pick 'em, Bree, she told herself as she closed her eyes and listened to the drumming of his heartbeat.
But she knew, deep within her, that she loved him, flaws and all.
She also hoped he was right. That when they went to see the Spirit Walker, everything would come together when they got the answers they needed. She had to believe it.
Surely, there had to be a way.
---- AUTHOR'S NOTE ----
Sorry to tease you all like that. (Not really)
Dedicated to Nikkyy_C
*Copyright Jo Lee Hunt (Joflower) 2016*