"Okay, did you get everything from the bathroom?" I yell to Caressa.
"No, not yet. We still need-"
"Right, we still need some stuff for tomorrow. Right."
I place my folded clothes in my suitcase and locate my plastic bag full of dirty clothes. Susan hooked all of us up this trip with free laundry services so the only things that are dirty of mine are some underwear and a tank top from a couple days ago.
"Alright, some over here." Kendra plops onto the bed.
"Have you seen my slippers?" I look around. "Hand those to me."
Kendra groans, then reaches over the bed and tosses my flip flops at me. I catch one but the other hits my shoulder.
"Bitch."
I tuck the shoes in a corner of my suitcase. Then I zip it up and push it securely against the wall. I gather my other bags and things on top of it, near Caressa's things
"Kendra! Put your suitcase against the wall over there and gather all your things except the things we're wearing and hang tomorrow, on top of it." I demand, annoyed. "Hurry up! I thought you said you were done!"
"I am...calm your tits."
"Alright." I stand up and look around. The desk is empty, our socks have been picked up, there's nothing under the bed...
"Where the hell is my charger?" Caressa exclaims, as loud as she can ever yell which, trust me, is not that loud. "Aye, have you guys seen it?"
"Ummm..." I think. "Didn't you just use it?"
"Before we went out."
She checks all the outlets in our small room and under the bed.
"Check your bag. You probably already packed it."
She does, and a white chord is pulled out.
"Ah ha."
"You're welcome."
"When are Jamaal and Six coming again?" Kendra asks me, plopping back down on the bed.
"Like, five minutes. I think."
"Oh, okay. 'Cause Six and I are gonna chill in here. So."
"Chill?" Caressa smirks. "Ah, okay. I'll text Carolyn and we'll do something."
"Bless."
I finish packing and my phone vibrates in my pocket. I pick it up while finishing my eyebrows. I tuck it against my ear, between my ear and my shoulder.
"Babe, I'll be down in two minutes," I quickly say.
"Alright, babe. I'll see you in a bit."
I burst out laughing.
"Jason! Where is my boyfriend?"
He chuckles and I hear Jamaal saying something in the background but it's muffled.
"He was just telling me about how he's gonna marry you whether you want to or not, kidnap you and move y'all to the Madagascar, and you guys are gonna have 15 kids-"
"Dumbass, gimme that-"
There's rustling and finally I hear my boyfriend's voice.
"Um, first of all, I'd kidnap you and take you to fuckin' Georgia, not Madagascar, and second of all, we'd have, like, two kids, not 15 fuckin' annoying ass devils runnin' round the place."
I laugh.
"I'm comin' down now."
I say good bye to my friends and skip down the hallway. Jason, Jamaal, and I are going to a supposedly really dope water park. I'm still a little iffy with Jamaal after what he did to me yesterday, but it's our last week together.
"Hey." I reach from the back seat, but Jamaal yells for me to stop.
"Jason, dude, get out! I told you she's ridin' shotgun."
"Bro, what the fuck?"
"Get back."
Jason grudgingly gets out. He bums me in the shoulder on his way to the back seat.
"Hello, to you, too, Jason." I smile.
I climbing into the front and Jamaal immediately takes my hand.
"Hey, Janaeya."
"Hello, Jamaal."
"How'd you sleep?"
I giggle and say, "You already asked me this over text."
"Well...okay."
We start to drive away from the motel, Jamaal still holding onto my left hand. I look down at our entwined fingers longer than I intend to. Jason's joke invades my thoughts.
"...he's gonna marry you whether you want to or not, kidnap you and move y'all to the Madagascar, and you guys are gonna have 15 kids-"
Fifteen minutes later, we arrive at the indoor water park. I look up at the tall building, but nothing about it screams, "Water splashin' fun!"
"This building is used for other things, too. On one floor, there's the water park. It's seriously dope," Jamaal explains to me. He and Jason take our towels from the trunk. I throw my bag over my shoulder and crack my toes in my plastic slippers.
"Thank God it's indoors, though, 'cause I am literally gettin' so dark."
The boys examine me as we walk.
"You don't look much different to me," Jason says.
"That's because I met you in the middle of the summer, nigga." I laugh.
"Hey, Janaeya, you think a tattoo would suite me?" Jamaal asks out of nowhere. "Like, on my forearm up here-" He gestures to the upper part of his arm. "Or the back of my calf. Or my...gastrocnemius, as you'd say."
"No, you don't tattoo your muscles, first of all." I sigh. "But why do you want a tattoo? What would you get one of?"
"Uh..." Jamaal thinks, staring down at me.
"You have got to be fuckin' kidding me. No, you are not tattooing my fuckin' face on your body!"
"Dude, are you serious?" Jason looks shocked.
"Shut up, Jason. No, I wasn't thinking of your face." He pauses. "Your name?"
"No. Nope. Never."
"Why?"
"'Cause we're not gonna be together forever, okay?" I exclaim, aggravated. "Only fucking idiots get stupid shit like that permanently tattooed on themselves."
Jamaal hesitates.
"You don't believe we're gonna be together forever?" His voice is tender and fragile.
"Ugh, Jamaal, don't start with em. Seriously." I sigh and take his hand. "All I'm sayin' is...we don't know, okay? Right bow it feels like love, but we don't know. Only God does."
"Okay, can we cut the love crap?" Jason shakes his head in disgust.
We enter and through an underground parking lot.
"Why didn't we park in here?" I ask.
"'Cause it's freaking 20 and hour and I don't have that kind of money."
"Yes, he does."
Jamaal pushes Jason.
"Will you shut the fuck up, man?"
Jason chuckles and we keep going. When we arrive at an elevator, Jamaal clicks the up button. As we wait, another couple come up behind us. Shit, the elevator is going to be crowded now. We all step in a moment later and turn around. The couple is now in front of us. They talk to each other in hushed voices but something is off. He's slouching his shoulders and her whispers are sharp and jarred.
I eye Jamaal, who I know is thinking the same thing.
When they finally get out, I realize I was holding my breath. I let it out loudly. Jamaal finds my hand and squeezes it and I let him. Jason looks at us, confused.
"Great." He throws up his hands as we exit the elevator. "I'm third wheeling. I always third wheel?"
"You? Jason, are you talking to anybody?" I bump into him playfully.
He lowers his head and runs his hand through his chestnut hair.
"Dude...nah, not really. I'm legit always the 'nice guy'."
"Hey, there's nothin' wrong with that."
Jason sighs like he's been dealing with this for a while.
"Girls are always...I mean...they say I'm 'cute' and I'm 'nice', but they don't look at me twice. I'm the guy they call up for a ride because they know I'll drive them."
"But you not the guy they hit up if they need some dick."
"Right..."
"Or the guy girls choose."
"Exactly."
"Well, I say, fuck 'em and...you're such a great guy."
Jason sighs.
I wrap my arm in his and pull him closer to me. There's noise in the distance, that get a louder and louder.
"No, seriously. I've only known you for a few weeks, but honestly, like, you're a good person. And I'd take that any mother fuckin' day over some cheap ass fuck boy."
"Uh, hello?" Jamaal says on the other side of me.
"Sh!" Jason and I shush him at the same time.
"Well, okay then."
We get closer and a sign pointing towards Harvey Water Fun House comes into view. I recognize the noise as that of people talking and laughing. Lots of people.
"Okay, look. We usually have to show the lady there are paid ticket or whatever it's called but they don't keep track of this shit, so just go with the flow, look natural, and keep walkin'." Jamaal explains to us in a hushed voice.
My mouth forms an 'O' and I relax my posture and look straight ahead. We walk through the be double doors, into the humid, chlorine smelling water park area. There are huge slides to my right, and other cool contraptions where water falls from a gigantic bucket and shoot out from the ground. One little girl gets pummeled in the face with ground water and runs away, screaming for her mother.
"You're gonna love this place." Jason shakes my shoulder. "There's a wave pool right there." He points across the room to a pool jam packed with people. Some have floaters, others don't. The water is still, before small waves begin to appear and people ride with them.
"Oh, let's do that. Then we'll go on the slides."
"The lines are usually long up there," Jamaal points out.
We find towels and chairs beside each other. We set out towels on the chairs and I take off my glasses. Then I remove my mesh dress, earning some whistles from Jason.
"You takin' that shit off like you makin' a show for somebody, babe," Jamaal tells me.
"Was I? I was just takin' this off..."
The boys snicker among themselves and slap each other the way boys do. After I've taken off my dress and place my things neatly on my towel, we head into the wave pool. Kids dash in and out or it. A little girl with wet, dirty blonde pigtails runs in front of me but she loses her balance and falls, rather slowly into the water. The clear water is cold but not too cold. It's definitely nothing compared to going into the ocean or Harvey's Lake after a being out of he water for some time, especially on a really sunny, hot day.
Jamaal keeps our hands intertwined even as we're slipping and squeezing through people. I decided not to wear my contact beneath Google's today, because imi didn't feel like it. People don't really where Google anymore for recreational swimming, and I always felt a little out of place when I wore them to pools, and especially and beaches.
"Hey, get that!" Jamaal points a floaty a few feet from me. I bounce to it, my arm extended. When I finally get my arm around it, I notice another man holding onto the handle on the other side.
"Oh, sorry."
"That's alright. You can have it."
I smile at him and take the floaty back to Jamaal and Jason. They help me get it after three attempts of failing and falling into the the water. By the time I am seated inside the donut shaped contraption, I am completely wet. My butt stays in the water and I relax my arms along the blue plastic water toy.
"Yeah, get cozy and let us get pushed up against people." Jamaal jokes. I hear a low rumble and soon, the waves start. Kids scream and laugh as it approaches them. They ride the waves effortlessly, and soon, it's our turn. The boys just stand in the water, letting it rose to Jamaal's chest and and Jason's abdomen. We're in the back of the wave pool where the waves are bigger and more powerful. The wave carries me up effortlessly, and out a little. The boys pull me back.
Jamaal spins me to face him and rests his arms on either side of me, on my floatie. I continue to lay down and look at him. He smiles in is adorable way and wraps his hands behind my back. I sit up and hold onto his face, bringing us closer together. The moment our lips touch, our tongue react and begin doing their elaborate dance. I play my fingers behind Jamaal neck, up by his hairline, and he squeezes me harder.
Jason coughs.
"Okay, guys. Gross." He scoffs. "Now I'm the one third-wheeling."
Jamaal and I laugh, our mouth still pressed on each other's. I sit back, sucking the side of my lip into my mouth, my checks flushed.
"Jay, bro. Snap outta it."
Jamaal doubles at Jason, and he chuckles. Jason looks at me, making a face.
"I told you he's crazy about you." He shrugs and we all laugh.
Very soon after that, we're bored of the wave pool that's seems to get more and crowdy by the second. We exit the water in slow, big, bouncy steps, and head over to the slides. There's a red one, a yellow one, a green one, and a blue one. The blue one looks the most fun since it has the most turns, so we unanimously decide to ride that one first.
"How come there isn't a pink slide?" Jason asks suddenly. Jamaal and I look at him.
"Dude, because red, yellow, green, and blue are just...common," Jamaal answers.
"So?"
"I agree with Jason. Why do the color of the slides have to be 'boy colored' slides."
"There's no such thing as a 'boy colored'-"
"You know what I mean, babe. You don't see many slides in pink or purple because our society has already gotten used to seeing those colors as being feminine."
"Exactly." Jason high fives me. "I mean, I was just wondering out loud..."
"You keep on wonderin'."
I let go of Jamaal's hand and I walk closer to Jason. He wraps his arm around my torso and we give Jamaal teasing faces.
"Okay, seriously?"
We laugh the rest of the way to the stairs. At the base, there are floaties, but these ones are much bigger than the small, single ones in the wave pool.
"Babe, lets go down one together." Jamaal points at a double floatie. I nod and Jason picks up a single one.
"Dang, these are heavy." Jason complains.
"Dude, don't be such a pussy."
I wack Jamaal in the arm.
"Jason actually looks really good, using his muscles." I tease. Jason move his chest muscles, the ones that are behind his pecks, one at a time in response and I crack up laughing.
"Janaeya, you know I look good right now." Jamaal flexes an arm, and he does look good but I continue giving him a hard time.
We walk up the stairs, and it's not long before we see people. The line to the blue slide is long.
"Oh, fuck." I mumble. "I hate lines."
"I'm sure you do," Jamaal says. I hit him again, or try to, but he grabs my hand and tugs me closer to him. He sets our floatie against the metal bars and places his newly free hand on my ass. He shakes it effortlessly up and down, and my face heats up.
"Jamaal!" I exclaim, embarrassed, at the same time Jason says, "Dude!"
Jamaal ignores his friend and instead, pushes me completely on him. My boobs spread across his bare chest and by his growing smile, I know he rather be in his bed. Instead of kissing me, Jamaal brings his face to my ear.
"I just wanna let you know...that you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. And I always want you to feel like a queen, 'cause that's what you are." His breath is hot his presence sends shivers through my body. I squeeze his shoulders tighter. "Also, if you ever lose your ring, just tell me. I'll probably be a little upset, but I'll just get you another one, exactly like it."
"Jamaal..." I whine like a baby. He smiles and pecks me on the cheek quickly, before picking up our floatie against, and moving up two steps. The people behind us are whispers, and I hear the words "she", "black", and "inappropriate" in the same sentence and I can't help but think they're talking about me. Three months ago, I wouldn't have let any boy touch my ass. But that's the thing. Jamaal isn't just "any boy". He's Jamaal, and I love him. I never thought I'd see this day. I never believed there was a possibility for love out in the world for me. I didn't think I had a chance. I felt disgusted with myself, and so dirty, and so alone that I thought other people saw that in me, too. I didn't want the temporary relationship boys wanted to offer, or even the ten minute sex. I wanted a long lasting relationship, one that could potentially lead to marriage, or if not, just good lessons, and self-discovery, because I know I'm a little young to be thinking about marriage. Jamaal and I are so different, yet so alike. We balance each other out so perfectly...And I am so in love with that.
God, how the fuck am I gonna tell my parents?
We finally reach the top of the stairs where the slides are actually side by side. The person in the blue slides gets h woman from the young guy who's shift it is, and he pushes himself down. The shirtless guy watches him go from overt be railing for a while.
"I think we can sit down and wait." Jamaal whispers, his handing the small of my back. He sets the floatie down at the top of the slide where it threatens to escape so he holds it down as I sit in he front donut hole. The young guy looks back at us finally as Jamaal settles in behind me.
"Aw, y'all a couple?" He grins at us to my surprise.
I look at his name tag, protected by plastic, hanging from his neck.
"Yes. Evan, meet Jamaal. Babe, meet Evan." I joke around. Evan laughs and goes along, reaching out to shake Jamaal's hand. Jamaal takes it.
"Nice to meet you." They grin at each other.
"Alright, you two. Head on down." Evan waves us good bye and I smile up at him as Jamaal pushes us off. "Bye!"
We go slowly at first, sliding effortlessly through the water. Soon, we pick up pace and or ride becomes bumpier and more wet. We approach a turn and my laughter is light. We zoom along the side of the slide, close to the edge.
"Oh, my God, oh, my God oh, my God!" I panic for a moment.
Jamaal's laughter is contagious and soon I'm laughing again. At the end of the slide, we are thrown into a pool. I quickly shut my eyes tight and soon, I feel myself lunging into water. I swim a little away from the slide and pop my head over the water. I run my hands over my face to get water away from my eyes, and I shake my head.
"That was legit." I laugh. Jamaal picks up our ride, and pushes through the water to me.
"That one turn was the shit." He laughs and grabs my hand. We trudge out of the water, put our floatie back, and wait for Jason. He comes down soon after, a wide grin on his face.
"Woo!" He pumps a fist in the air gloriously as if he just got his acceptance letter from Harvard. Or Georgetown. "That was pretty sick."
"It really wasn't that sick." Jamaal fires back.
"Dude!" Jason trudges out of the water, just as Jamaal and I did a minute ago, and puts his floatie in its designated place, on top of ours. "Don't kill my fucking vibe, alright?"
Jamaal puts his hands up in defense.
"Alright, man."
We grab our floaters again and go on the other slides. That takes a good hour, the combination of waiting in line and riding the slide making up the 60 minutes. After that, we enter the pool area and just relax. I do some laps and practice my swimming skills. Then we go home. It's already 5 when we leave. Time flew by extremely fast.
"Okay, see ya, J." Jason and Jamaal slap hands goodbye as Jason and I get out of Jamaal's car.
"Yeah-babe. You sure you don't wanna sleep over. We won't have sex, I promise. If you don't want to." Jamaal leans across the passenger seat to talk to me through the window.
"Jamaal, it's not that-" It's only partially that. "It's fine. I need to wash up anyway, and I need my face products and hair products."
"Are you sure? I'm so sorry about-"
"I don't want to hear it. You should be." I back away from the car. "Okay, bye! Love you."
"I love you, too." Jamaal's face falls a little. Jason and I watch him drive away before turning our backs and racing to the motel doors.
"Ha!" Jason thrusts the door open. "I beat you!"
"No fair! You pushed me!"
"Hey, guys." Susanne yells. "Please, keep it down. Okay? And don't treat the door like that! Get off! We just installed new handles."
Jason and I back off from the door. Susanne comes over to inspect it, her forehead showing her stress wrinkles. She huffs and close the door gently. I look at her, surprised by the sudden out-roar.
She sighs in defeat and just looks at me. I see the suffering in her eyes and I know. She's dealing with a lot: her deceased child, her divorce, the motel...It's a lot and I empathize with her.
Jason looks at me, obviously not in the "in".
"Alright, uh..." I hurry to Suanne's side and grab her arm. "You and I will talk later if you want." I say lowly to her. She nods, her lips in a tight smile. I turn back to Jason. "But we just got back from the pool-or, indoor water park and we needa...shower. And eat dinner."
Susanne nods and moves away from me.
"No, please. I'm not speak...charity case." Her words sting in me because I don't think of her like that. "You don't have to feel like you need to protect me or comfort me or whatever. Please, go have your fun. I am the adult. I should've able to take care of myself."
Jason slowly backs away and soon, he vanishes around the corner.
"Susanne..." My voice is low. I try to look into her moist eyes, but she won't look at me. "Why would you say that? I do not think you're a case in need of help. You're my friend, and friends-true friends-don't let their friends drown in their tears."
It was weird, feeling this way about another adult. There aren't any adults in my life that I've considered a friend or do consider one. I'v had teachers that I've looked up to and that have favored me, but none that I'd have no shame hanging out with at lunch or meeting at the coffee and tea house near school to chat.
Susanne wipes away a stray tear and blinks several times.
"I'm sorry-"
"Don't apologize."
"I just miss my baby so, so much!"
"I know, I know."
She looks up and blinks wildly. By the time she look at me, she's smiling, though her face is red.
"Alright. Okay." She shakes her head and exhales loudly. "Y-you're right." She sighs and looks at me, her eyes shining. "You're a good friend. Thank you for making this summer memorable. And interesting. My other summers were spent with me working all day and crying all night."
"I don't mean to be...rude." I roll my eyes, the word reminding me of my dad. "But do you have-"
"Friends?" She opens her eyes wide. "Other than you?" I nod, scares of her answer. "Yes."
I exhale, not realizing I was holding in my breath.
"Oh, God. I used to not have friends. I mean, I had friends while my daughter was alive-" She flinches. "But after her death, I was depressed, and quite frankly, self centered."
"Your daughter just died! Was killed! You had every right to be selfish."
"But I pushed away the people that cared, that actually cared about me and my situation, and wants to pull me out of my dark place." She fiddles with her hands. "People that knew Diane, too, and were impacted by her murder, as well. Gosh, I was so stupid." She shakes her head.
"So...have you done anything to mend those broke bonds?"
Susanne hesitates. She opens her mouth, then clamps it shut. She begins to stammer.
"I-it's too late." She's exhales, her voice wavering. "It's been too long."
"Don't bullshit me, Susanne. It's your pride talking." I squeeze her shoulders supportively.
"But what pike I say?" She continues. "It's been so long, I-I don't even know if half of the have the same number."
"Well, I'm not going to force to you to be friends with someone, but try the numbers. They could still work. And tell them what's going on with you. Don't forget to show appreciation for the time they were around after Kelsey's death and helped you."
Susanne threw her head back and the youth she once had comes back to her face all at once. It's time like these that I feel like the parents and she's my kid. And I don't mind. I dare to say I even like these moments we share.
"You're right." She begins walking away, leaving me standing here. "I owe you! A lot!" She turns the corner and I begin waking to my room, a huge smile on my face. To have this affect on someone's life is great. It gives me so much happiness to now that Susanne needs a friend and I've been that friend. I'll miss more than my boyfriend and the carefree summer days when we leave in two days.