"Abby? What are you doing here?" I asked, my eyes wide open as she smiled at me as she stood at my doorstep. I thought for a moment, remembering that we hadn't agreed to meet up. I allowed her to come through which she did before I offered her a snack.
"No no no, don't worry about that. Scarlett, I think it's time that we had a bit of a chat." She exclaimed as I sighed taking a seat on the couch next to her. I knew what this conversation was going to be about, Marcus and his rather distant behaviour. After accidentally running into him the other day, I was starting to begin to worry about him. He was acting very different since the first time I met him during the interview, his bubbly personality and striking charisma had suddenly seemed to vanish and with each time I thought about it, the more badly I felt guilty for leaving him in the dark that night.
It was half past eight and right now when I glanced at the clock. I could feel my body tensing and already knew that Abby could notice how I was behaving at the moment.
"Look, I just want to say that I'm sorry." I confessed after a moment of silence between the both of us. She looked at me confused, awaiting for an answer as I let out a sigh, thinking to myself the best way to explain to her what was really going on.
"For what?" She asked, looking at me in concern as I could feel myself breaking down in tears. I could sense her body twitch as she moved closer to me, doing her best to comfort me which I really did appreciate but didn't have the energy to say anything. I wiped away the tears from eyes before taking a moment to calm myself down.
"I'm sorry for making a mess of everything Abby. I'm sorry for making a mess of your life, of Marcus' life and his teammates lives. Before he ever met me it sounded like everything was fine for everyone but when I entered your lives everything seems to be falling apart. Marcus is all over the place, everyone's worried for him and it's me, I'm the one to blame for it all." I admitted feeling quite pathetic within this moment. Abby hardly knew but for some reason a part of me felt like she was the closest person I could turn to, but unfortunately the other part of me felt like I was putting all my problems which made me feel like I was suddenly weak, like I should be more independent with myself.
"Hey Scarlett, Scarlett why are you suddenly beating yourself up? You have done absolutely nothing wrong to affect my life nor have you done the same to the other girls who think you are an amazing person to be around. Okay Marcus might be all over the place but I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with you -"
"Abby please." I said feeling more guilt rise over me when it sounded like she was only trying to sugarcoat what's been going on with Marcus lately.
"Do you - Have you. Did anything happen between you two that I should know about?" She asked me. I looked into her eyes, the brown coloured eyes suddenly showing distress as I looked down to the ground. I wiped away more tears from my eyes, my eyes stinging from the tears that had rolled down my already moist cheeks.
"You know during the game against Fremantle?"
"Uh of course, Scarlett you're scaring me a little you know that?" Abby answered with the shock clearly evident in her tone. I sighed once more before continuing with my version of events.
"After the match, I was pretty excited that the boys had won. I mean who wouldn't when your time defeats a team like Fremantle you know? So I meet up with everyone in the lockeroom and wanted to congratulate Marcus personality. Tom showed me where he was and I found him with a club physio. When the physio left, we started talking about the game and I don't know how it happened but we kissed and it was awkward between us -"
"Oh my Scarlett, so you guys kissed but what exactly that have to do with anything? I mean yeah it was unexpected but I thought you guys had feelings for each other. Not to be noisy or whatever, ever since Marcus has been hanging around with you, for some reason I feel like he's changed quite a bit, like he's suddenly matured even more than any of us expected."
"- But that's the thing Abby, I didn't know how I felt about him until we kissed. My intention wasn't ever to fall for him. Honestly, I didn't see Marcus as anything but a friend, a good mate. But that kiss changed everything, which I was confused as to why I was slowly falling for him even when I hadn't even known him for that long. Everybody had told me that Marcus wasn't his usual self which I wasn't sure how to react to. A few nights later, he meet up with me at my place which was meant to clear up any confusion or whatever it was between us. I was trying to see what was it that he seemed to have an issue with and then during the conversation he admitted that he was in love with me and said he was angry with himself more than the others because he was worried about our friendship."
"So let me get this straight, he has told you that he has feelings for you but you don't feel confident about him, right? Is it because you don't trust him or. Hold on, you're holding onto to something, aren't you?" She asked me as I nodded my head, wondering what she was going to say next.
"I'm just scared Abby, scared about where this relationship is going to go. Yes, I really do like Marcus but there are so many things that I don't know if I could handle."
"Like what?"
"I'm just worried the way people are going to view me if I get into a relationship with Marcus seeing how he's super huge in the sport and I'm-" I stopped and looked down at the ground as Abby held my elbows and looked me in the eyes.
"A journalist?" She asked me or more like trying to finish off my sentence for me. I nodded as she moved a little more closer to me and reached in for a hug as I wiped a tear from my eyes.
"Homey, I know you're scared about it but the way it sounds, I don't think Marcus might be wary of your situation. Okay, here's the question. Do you love him?"
"What?"
"Do love Marcus, Scarlett?"
"That's the thing, I don't know how I feel towards him. I mean yeah, I do feelings for him but I'm just confused. Every time I want to talk to him, there's always something that comes in my way that stops me, making me fear for the worst."
"Scarlett. At the end of the day it's your choice but if you want my advice, here it is. Think very hard about your choice. I know that you both can make each other happy and that you two can make a relationship work. Marcus is a great guy, don't lose something that you won't be able to get after because really, it's only going to lead you to heartbreak. Something that we all want do absolutely everything we can to avoid." Abby said as she gave me a hug, I let out a sniffle feeling somewhat relieved that I had someone like her to help me out especially since she had experiences with dating someone who is in the spotlight a lot of the time.
"Thank you Abby, thank you for being an amazing person. I honestly have no clue what I would do without you."
"No, I should be thanking you. Because you are what proved to me that there is hope when it comes to fighting for the things you want in life." She said, as she smiled, still hugging me tightly looking out the window to the dark blue sky.
.....
Sitting in the lobby of the agency, I could hear footsteps emerging from beside me. I sighed knowing who it was that was in my space.
"I don't want to talk to you right now." I bluntly exclaimed as I felt a grip on my wrist. Turning around, Derrick stared at me with guilt shinning in his eyes as I sighed, turning my attention to him.
"Please Scarlett, I know you're mad at me but I think it's best if we at least spoke about it in my office."
"Whatever you want to say, you know you can say it straight to my face. Right here, right now." I said, folding my arms not amused with Derrick. At this point, I could tell he was getting irritated as he pointed his finger at me.
"You are making yourself look like an absolute fool Scarlett. There is really no need to embarrass yourself and publicise your issue out here in the open -"
"Just like you humiliated me last week when the big office discussion was how a fantasy relationship with Jake Carlisle was going to work. Derrick, I don't think you understand how pitiful you sounded telling me off when all I was trying to do was stand up for myself, something that all women need to do within this industry. It's called being a hypocrite with what you were doing last week so don't patronise me by blaming me for being the fool when really you bought this upon yourself." I shouted at him as I walked away from him, making my way into the main offices where I made my way past Kyle who looked like had heard everything.
"Trouble in paradise I take it Scarlett?" He said smugly as I muttered underneath my breath. Rolling my eyes, I began walking further towards my office when my phone began to buzz. My notifications were beginning to explode when I scrolled through the several tweets on my lock screen referring about some article that I was supposedly tagged in. Just as I was about to put away my phone, I noticed that I was tagged in a photo on my instagram.
I opened the photo and saw a photo of a couple kissing in an alley. I stared at the screen in confusion when I felt my heart sink with the realisation of who was in the photograph.
The photograph was an edit of two pictures; on the left was an image of me looking irritated at Marcus who was looking just as disappointed at me. On the right was an image of him kissing me.
I felt my heart race as I read the comments below the instagram picture.
@thesportgod: why exactly are these two a couple?
@jackieewomansday: the exclusive scoop on the newest football couple, scoop out tomorrow.
@thelittlebuzzlight: feels like a publicity stunt to me
@natalieriver: wtf, probably just looking for a follow up article from him. poor bloke.
@maxie_lee69: he's too good for her, always wanted him to find a girl but not wilde.
@fiftyshadesoflexie: urgh, is she always going to be hooking with footballers for the sake of attention?
My eyes watered as I continued reading the comments on the instagram page. My life was hard before but without having to do much to my lifestyle, it was sure as hell going to get more harder because of the one who leaked these photographs. I wasn't sure what was more worse, the photo being leaked or the comments that came with the photo.
I bet whoever gave in these photos probably were rolling in the money, laughing with no consideration at the cost of possibly my reputation.
Walking towards my office, I pulled out the key and unlocked the glass door when Madeline rushed up to me. I sniffed, doing my best to pretend that nothing was happening when she asked me a question that I already knew was coming.
"Is it true?"
"What's true?"
"You and Marcus." She asked as I ignored her, feeling a cold shiver run down my spine. Pushing open the door, I took of my handbag and put that on my desk with my phone that was constantly notifying me, switching it off I put it down before looking at Madeline.
"I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know? I mean the pictures you looked like you were dating for ages, how couldn't you have not known?"
"Because I don't know Madeline, we aren't even dating. I'm pissed off at the person who leaked the photos." I angrily added as Madeline moved closer to me and patted my back.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked as I shook my head.
"No I'm sorry but I just don't want to talk about it. I really do appreciate what you do for me Madeline, thank you." I said before she said her goodbyes and made her way out of the door. My phone began ringing forcing me to let out an angry scream. Answering my phone, I turned around and looked out the window, staring at the city landscape. Somebody out there was there when the photos were taken, somebody out there must have known about us and now unfortunately for me, majority of Australia know about us. Answering my phone, I rolled my eyes, desperately wanting to throw my phone out the window when hearing a very angry sounding Michael Talia shout at me.
"What the fuck Scarlett, is there some kind of game you're playing or something? Oh, the interview wasn't big enough so you had to go around having your photos leaked to a news outlet."
"What's it to you Talia, I'm the one who should be angry here. I have photos posted of me without being aware there was any of me out there. Look, whatever your issue is, just leave me out if it. I'm so sick of being the guinea pig that is left to take in your shit."
"You're blaming me when you're the one whose supposedly in a relationship with him? Is that something The Autograph came up or being the fantastic English major you are, creatively come up with that because you needed -"
"Alright enough, for once in your life Michael can get whatever it is out of your ass and be a decent human being or is that too hard for you because you know being a footballer means you have to be cocky 100 per cent of time?"
"Scarlett, quiet your pathetic baby games. You need to fix this, I don't want you breaking Marcus' heart because of your polices at your newspaper." I hung up the phone feeling emotionally drained with everything that is going on. My eyes trailed on the photograph of Derrick and me, which was taken on my very first day of work. I wasn't thinking and within a matter of minutes, I got up and grabbed the photograph before throwing it violently onto the ground. Heavy breaths escaped my lips as the loud crash emerged with glass shattering on the floorboards.
I was done with Derrick. I was done with Michael Talia. I was done with this whole outburst of the leaked photograph. But most of all, I was done myself only causing heartbreak to Marcus.
Tomorrow, I knew I needed to be straight forward with him about my feelings and where we both stand in this relationship.
It was the least I could do after breaking his heart several times just to make sure that it was me who was kept safe.