Nobody told me that you'd be here // And I swear you moved overseas // That's what you said, when you left me // You still look like a movie // You still sound like a song // My God, this reminds me // Of when we were young // When We Were Young, Adele
"Shit."
Violet shook her head and slowly backed away, hardly trusting the truth her own eyes were telling. Even as Matt sat there at the bar, laughing and smiling and just plain existing, Violet didn't want to believe it. He was supposed to be halfway across the world. He was supposed to be as far away from her as humanly possible and Violet was beyond content with that. Yet, there he was, a matter of metres from her.
Blake and Ash followed Violet's gaze to find the object of her mortification. Neither recognised Matt, and so their confusion ceased to subside.
"Violet?" Blake took a step closer to her friend. "Who is that? What's going on?"
"We need to leave, like right now." Upon seeing her ex, a surge of memories rushed to the forefront of Violet's mind, memories she'd sooner let gather dust in some dark corner of her brain than resurface all at once like that. "Come on, let's go."
"Not so fast, cupcake." Ash glanced suspiciously at Matt. While she was admittedly supposed to be keeping her distance from Violet, that didn't mean she was going to stop looking out for her, and if Violet was afraid of some guy then Ash definitely intended to do something about it. "I'm not taking a single step until you tell us what's got you so spooked."
Violet released an impatient and frustrated groan. "That guy at the bar with the perfect hair and teeth and body, his name's Matt. He's the guy I used to date in New Jersey." That was probably the briefest possible way in which she could have summed up her relationship with him.
"The same guy that broke your heart?" Ash inquired.
In her eyes that was even more of a reason to do something about it. But Violet recognised the look on Ash's face; it was the look she got whenever she had an urge to defend her or protect her, and right now that was the last thing Violet wanted to happen. All she wanted was to get out of there before he saw her.
But it was too late. As it just so happened, Matt paused his conversation to take a sip of his beer, and as his eyes scanned the busy pub it wasn't long before they accidentally found Violet by the door. He almost choked on his drink when he realised who it was. Violet let out a string of curses under her breath, but as she turned around to make a hasty escape, she heard his voice call out to her.
"Violet?"
She froze with the tips of her fingers on the handle, considering whether or not to pretend like she hadn't heard or seen him and just run for the hills. But then he said her name again, and this time it was closer. There was no way she could pretend like she hadn't heard him now. She closed her eyes, took a breath, and then turned around.
Matt was picking his way through the crowd, with the friend he'd been chatting to at the bar close behind him. Both Blake and Ash, who had each heard at least something of Violet's relationship with Matt, stared him down with folded arms and expressions of less-than-subtle hostility as he approached. He stopped in front of Violet, shaking his head as though he didn't believe it.
"It's really you." He breathed.
Violet didn't say anything to begin with. She couldn't. It had been a long time since she'd made peace with the fact that she was never going to see him again, and that he didn't love her as much as she loved him. Though at the time it had seemed impossible, Violet had moved on, and the last thing she needed was for him to suddenly fall out of the sky and reinsert himself into her life. It would unravel all the time and effort it took for her to move past his betrayal and convince herself that she was worth more than her relationship with him. Finally, she managed to find her words.
"What are you doing here, Matt?" She didn't bother putting up the pretence of being happy to see him. She wasn't.
"I live here now." He said, almost apologetically, as though he knew that was the last thing Violet would want to hear. "My dad got offered a promotion but we had to move here for it, so I'll be living in London for the foreseeable future."
Violet wanted to be sick. She knew just by looking at him that he was thinking back to their final few weeks together; that he was thinking about her in the way she assumed he always did - as an unstable lunatic. He wouldn't have been the only one that replayed those events in his head day in and day out. Violet could never truly forget them either, as much as she tried to.
"Sorry, how rude of me. This is my new friend Nate, he lives next door to me." Matt clapped his friend on the back of the shoulder and in response he waved a little awkwardly. Nate didn't look like the kind of people Matt would usually surround himself with; he was tall and a little bit lanky, sporting a pair of thick rimmed glasses and loosely permed brown hair, and clearly he wasn't the greatest at social interactions. "How about you guys?" Matt looked at Blake and Ash, evidently expecting them to introduce themselves.
"We're the ones that are only refraining from kicking your ass because Violet hasn't asked us to yet." Ash responded coldly.
Matt looked between the two of them with a forced and blatantly uncertain laugh. "All right. I guess I deserve that." He admitted, before facing Violet once more. "Listen, Violet, I'm going to be starting at your college soon so we're bound to start seeing each other around more often. I don't want things to be weird between us. We were friends before we started dating, after all, and I think we can be friends again."
"Are you seriously so delusional that you think we could ever be friends after what you did to me?" Violet demanded. "You couldn't handle me then and I doubt you'd be able to handle me now. You're a coward, Matt. You don't deserve my friendship."
Blake and Ash looked impressed. Nate looked uncomfortable. Matt looked ashamed.
"I know what I did back then was awful, okay? But a day hasn't gone by since in which I don't regret it. If I could turn back time and do things differently I'd do it in a heartbeat, but I can't. What I can do is offer to try and make up for all that lost time and for all the pain I caused you. I can prove to you how much I've changed and grown as a person and hope that maybe one day you're able to see past the jerk I used to be. That's what I can do." Matt said these things as though he'd been expecting to run into Violet sooner or later, and had thought long and hard about what he wanted to say to her.
"Is that so? And how exactly do you intend to do that?" Violet asked dubiously.
"Well... I though I'd start by buying you and your friends a drink." He smiled, and suddenly that gleam of confidence Violet knew so well had returned to his eyes. "Come on and sit down." He gestured to an empty booth nearby.
Violet paused. She told herself that she should politely decline and find some other pub to go to instead. She told herself that Matt was only going to bring more trouble and heartache into her life. She told herself to say no. Just say no. But it had been so long since they'd last seen each other, so what if he really had changed? What if they really could be friends again? Wasn't it at least worth a shot? Everyone was looking at her; waiting for her decision.
"One drink." She eventually decided, with a tone of unquestionable finality.
Matt's smile transformed into a gleeful grin as he led everybody over to the booth, then took Nate with him to go and order a round. As soon as he was out of earshot, Blake and Ash simultaneously turned to look at Violet.
"Are you out of your mind?" Blake hissed. "I've never heard the whole story on that douche but even from the little I've heard, I can tell he isn't worth a single second of your time. We should make a run for it while his back is turned."
"Seriously, Violet, I could feel your emotions as soon as we walked through the door. I mean, if he's able to cause that much pain and render you so emotionally vulnerable I don't think you should risk it." Ash agreed. For some reason, the idea of the three of them sitting down with Violet's ex and bonding with him just didn't agree with her. And the thought of Violet and Matt talking things out? Even worse.
"It's just one drink. Besides, if he really is starting at our college soon, then I'm going to have to get used to seeing him around and being civil with him." Violet reasoned.
Truth be told, she wasn't entirely sure why she was giving him another chance. But then, it was one thing to swear to herself that she'd never speak to him again or forgive him for what he'd done, and it was another to actually expect herself to live up to that when she saw him in person for the first time in forever. Violet and Matt had known each other for a long time, and their relationship had been the most intensely Violet had ever felt for anybody, so it wasn't easy for her to suppress those feelings when they all came surging back. Not that she still loved him like she used to, because she didn't, but she'd probably always feel something for him. Although admittedly, hate and spite were now included in that messy cocktail of emotions.
Matt and Nate came back with drinks for everybody and settled onto the seats opposite the girls.
"So, Violet, are you still writing music?" Matt asked, and it struck Violet just how easily he shrugged off the prior awkwardness of their encounter and managed to pull off a friendly, casual attitude towards the situation. It kind of pissed her off, actually. It was as though he was refusing to acknowledge all their ugly, complex history together and was instead granting himself a clean slate.
"Yes. After everything that happened I kind of had a lot to say, so I wrote it all down." Violet answered, a sly jab towards her ex.
"Well, you've got to let me hear it some time." Apparently Matt didn't pick up on the fact that Violet was talking about what happened with him. "You have an amazing gift when it comes to music. I still remember the duos we used to do in my bedroom when no one was around."
Wow, thought Violet. She hadn't relived those memories in quite some time. After discovering that Matt actually had a decent singing voice, they used to write songs together and perform them for an audience of zero. It usually ended in bouts of laughter and mockery, which to recall now - after so much had happened between them - was just painful for Violet.
"In fact, Nate here plays the drums. You wouldn't think it to look at him but he has a bit of a wild child inside him." Matt teased.
Nate looked down at his drink and shrugged modestly. Matt was right, none of them would have thought it just by looking at him. The violin? Maybe. The drums? Not a chance.
"Come on man, tell them about the gig." Matt encouraged excitedly.
"Oh well, I - it's nothing really." Nate mumbled without looking up. "My cousin's parents are out of town so he's transforming his back yard into a small music festival. I'll be performing a set tonight."
"He's underselling it. His cousin has not only got possibly the biggest garden I've ever seen, but he's also got connections to a bunch of producers and talent scouts. Who knows, they might be there tonight, and if he's lucky then Nate might just get noticed. If not by a scout then at least by a girl. Or a boy. Frankly, at this point, either would do." Matt's smile faded as an idea came into his head. "Violet, you should totally perform! Anyone with talent is allowed on stage and it's completely free to play. Man, you would kick ass up there."
"Please. Violet's talents are far too good for a scene like that." Blake scoffed. "No offence." She added as an afterthought to Nate, who just shrugged sheepishly.
"Says who?" Violet wasn't fond of people speaking on her behalf, even someone as close to her as Blake. It was almost purely out of defiance that she then fished a pen out of her bag and wrote her number on a napkin, before sliding it across to Matt. "You can text me the details. I'll try to make it, it sounds like fun."
She would have to cancel her shift at the club, but that was a no-brainer. Of course she'd rather be performing music than dancing to it. Blake gave her a disbelieving look, which Violet chose to ignore. After recovering from her initial shock at having seen Matt, she remembered that she was supposed to be pissed at Ash and Blake for conspiring against her behind her back, so anything they said to her from that point on would go in through one ear and out through the other.
The corner of Matt's mouth turned upwards as he carefully folded up the napkin and tucked it into the pocket of his jeans. "Awesome. And you know, if you wanted to perform one of our old duos I'd be totally up for it. I still remember every single lyric we ever wrote."
"You do?" Violet's eyebrows shot up. She never thought Matt had taken their songs seriously; that he saw the whole thing as a bit of a gimmick. Obviously she had been mistaken. She didn't even realise she was smiling, until she did. And then she quickly dropped it for an expression of indifference.
But not quick enough. Ash picked up on the childish grinning and the reminiscence of the 'good old days' before even Violet did, and quickly decided to intervene before the situation could escalate and Violet forgot just how much she was supposed to despise Matt. She downed her pint, which she found she actually quite enjoyed, and let out an appreciative sigh.
"Well, this has been fun but we should get going." Ash announced.
But Violet just frowned. "Last I checked, we don't have anywhere to be." She objected.
Ash gave Violet a meaningful look, which was supposed to remind her of who their present company was and what he'd done to her in the past, but Violet either didn't understand or didn't care. So Ash rolled her eyes and decided to take measures into her own hands.
"Would you boys excuse us?" She asked with faux sweetness, before pulling Violet up from the booth by the crook of her arm and leading her towards the ladies' room. "Entertain them." Ash mouthed to Blake, who was apparently less than happy to have drawn the short straw and be left to sit with Violet's ex. But then the door to the restroom closed behind them and Blake disappeared from sight.
Violet shrugged free of Ash's grasp. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"I might ask you the same thing. You said it yourself, that boy out there broke you once upon a time and now you're acting like you're the best of friends. Care to tell me what that's about?" Ash enquired.
"That is not what I'm doing. He asked me to give him a chance, so I'm giving him a chance. Besides, what the hell is it to you how I do or don't act around my ex?" Finally, Violet decided to play the card she'd been holding on to since that morning. "It's my understanding that you don't want anything to do with me anymore anyway, right? That you're planning to drop out of college just to avoid me?"
Ash stilled as her anger turned to guilt and realisation.
"This morning... You overheard us?" Ash sighed and mentally kicked herself for humouring Blake with that conversation.
"You're damn right I overheard you. I thought you two were my friends but," Violet had to pause to prevent her voice from breaking. "That's not how friends are supposed to act. The worst part is that I thought you and I had an understanding. This whole connection we supposedly have - I really believed that meant something; I really believed I meant something to you. I guess I was wrong. I'm just another mortal to you aren't I? Another person you can manipulate into doing whatever the hell you want until you don't have a use for me anymore."
"What? No, never. You're not like them - you're not like anybody I've ever met." Ash assured her. "I'm not using you, and I'm not manipulating you. Honestly I just want to make sure that once I leave, which is probably some time soon, it's as painless as possible for you."
Violet breathed a laugh, which came across as more malicious than anything. She was sick of people going behind her back and doing things without her knowledge for her own protection. Liam, Blake, Ash, none of them seemed to grasp that she could take care of herself without everybody keeping secrets from her and scheming behind her back.
"You think so highly of yourself that you truly believe I'd be torn apart by you leaving? You need a freaking reality check, Ash." Violet spat. Even as she said the words, they felt wrong on her tongue, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth afterwards. But she was in too deep now, and she was pissed off, so she kept going. "This isn't about me. This is about you, isn't it? You're the one that's scared to get close to me. Because I'm a mortal, a mere human, and because you shouldn't think any more of me than you would a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe. But you do. Don't you?"
Violet took several threatening steps closer to Ash and Ash took several wary steps backwards. But it was a hell of a tiny restroom, and so her back soon hit the cold, tiled wall, and she found herself with nowhere left to go and no other options but to stay and listen.
"I was there when you fell and I've been there for you since, and we've got a link to each other that is beyond comprehension, so now you feel something for me and it scares the shit out of you. And since you have zero experience in feeling anything for anybody but yourself, as proven in the way you've been alive for centuries and have yet to fall in love once, you figure the best way to handle growing attached is to shut me out and leave me behind and pretend it isn't for the selfish reasons you know it to be. And despite all that, you still have the audacity to get jealous whenever I so much as smile at somebody else." Violet pressed a hand against the wall next to Ash, knowing full well what she was doing. She was taunting her, mocking her, testing her. The next thing Violet said came out as a barely audible whisper. "Am I getting warmer?"
Ash was speechless. It was incredibly rare that anybody was able to render her practically mute, and yet there she was, struggling to come up with a single word or sentence in reply to Violet's cruel accusations. It proved an especially hard task given how close Violet was to her. Their bodies were almost touching and Violet had deliberately leaned in so that their mouths were mere centimetres apart. Ash swallowed and Violet watched the bob of her throat with knowing eyes. Violet was now able to feel exactly what Ash was feeling, and what she was feeling was a combination of both fear and desire. Ash was usually better at hiding her emotions, but this time there was no stopping them from spilling over the surface, and they both knew why.
Violet inched slightly closer to Ash's mouth, eyes fixed on the curve of her lips, and Ash let her proceed without protest. In fact, part of her was silently willing her to keep going, though in the back of her mind she knew it was wrong. However - just as Ash closed her eyes and prepared for Violet's lips to find her own - Violet drew back without warning.
Ash's eyelids fluttered open and she frowned.
"Sorry, cupcake." Violet smirked, taking pleasure in using Ash's own nickname against her. "Don't you know it's forbidden for gods to fraternize with mortals?"
Violet spun smugly on her heels and strode out of the restroom. For once, she had the upper hand, and it was her leaving Ash frustrated and confused. As the door swung shut behind her, Ash hit her head softly against the wall and groaned.
You're in trouble now, Ash. She thought to herself, thinking of Violet's full pink lips, and of her body being practically pressed up against her own, and of just how fast her pulse was racing in that moment.
Big trouble.