Two full weeks have passed, two full weeks of agony as I can't stop thinking about Nixon, about what he's doing. So often I ponder if he's forgotten me, if he's decided to move on to the next girl, but by the words Emily and Oliver spoke, I doubt any of those actions by Nixon.
It's frightens me how almost half the school knows what was once a secret, how they see me not only as a figure head to them, but also as a whore.
I know before me, they respect, they protect, but when I turn my back, they shame me. And it's all because of his actions, all because he put a mark on my neck and claimed me.
Emily said the scent would soon wear away from sex, but from the mark, it will always be there.
Oliver keeps me updated on the latest, telling me the gossip Emily doesn't dare let me know. He lets me know that the people who are supposed to respect me call me a whore, a slut, a gold digger, and much worse. Words like those make me want to barge into his house and demand an explanation.
I've learned much from my friends, learning about their...kind. I've learned about the mark, how Nixon has claimed me as his mate, how he's claimed me as his and no one else's. Oliver tells me that Nixon is of high importance in their pack, a pack whose name I am not permitted to know. Emily says the less I know the less harm will come of me. But curiosity has always been my greatest weakness. The less I know, the more I thirst to know.
Everyday the mark upon my neck burns for his touch, for his lips, for his hands, for his words that he would whisper in my ear.
Emily tells me not to go back, that even though she respects Nixon, even though she sees him as her supreme authority, she has to warn me of him, saying there's a past to every man's story.
I guess that's why I stand here, at the end of the street, the snow falling down, my cheeks numb, and heart pounding within my chest.
I so badly want to climb up that hill, to go knocking upon that door and barge in, to find him and demand an explanation for his actions, for why he was the way he acted.
I call off those fantasies, deciding to go home to some Game of Thrones as I turn on my heel. Just as I take a step home, the honking of a horn throws me off. "Lily."
Brian Adams, the younger of the brother's and one of the few boys that Emily says still upholds his loyalty. "Brian," I greet as the window of his Porsche is rolled down.
"Hey, I was wondering, as I saw you walking, would you like to come over. My mother complains about how she hasn't seen you in a while."
I don't want to be rude.
I also know Mrs. Adams is somehow related to Nixon one way or another, somehow having a purpose to live next door. "Why not."
I climb on in, letting the warmth envelop me as Brain drives up the street. "You know, Lily, I don't find you-
"Save it, please," I interrupt, pleading as he nods his head. "I'm not so ignorant to what happens behind my back."
"It's weird that a human girl-
"Let's just drop it."
He does, allowing the silence to fill the car. Once before his house, I avert my eyes from Nixon's house as Brian helps me out, walking me straight up to the front door.
The two hours that I'm there seems like minutes as I sit across from Mrs. Adams on the couch as I drink some hot chocolate. The music in the background is jazz Christmas music as Zayne and Brian are away in another section of the house. She's showing me through photo albums, pointing out her life story as we look further on.
There's one that stands out to me, one of her on her wedding day. "Olivia Rice married to Ted Adams," she speaks, happiness flooding her words. I smile, enjoying the fact that she glows when she sees pictures of her wedding day.
We go through some more, pointing out the birth of her son's as I find it always to be going through these with her. "Well, I'd better turn in for the night," I explain, getting to my feet.
"Oh, that's fine, I'll get one of the boys to drive you home, it's so cold tonight."
"I'm fine, I enjoy these late night walks," I explain, collection my jacket and scarf.
"No trouble, besides, it's freezing out there."
I allow her to call back down Brian, thanking her for the hospitality as Brian marched me out the door. Waving bye, I hop into his car and give him the directions.
Just as we pull out, something catches my eyes, a light, a light in the grand entrance of his house.
I've never seen a light there. I've never even seen him turn on a light. Weird.
"Lily, I've got to put one word in before you go and shut me out," Brian informs as we pass a couple of streets and near my home. "Nixon Maxwell-
"Do we really?" I groan, my cheeks flushing red. A part of me is embarrassed while the other hates every ounce that many people know I was basically having sex with their leader and let him claim me at only seventeen.
"Nixon Maxwell is a man who is used to getting his way." I scoff. "I've never seen him so focused though, so drawn out of his life to persist a female." I meet his stare. "No, I'm not one to call you a shameful word, but I will say to be cautious."
"Just like Emily," I groan, hopping out of the car as we arrive at my house.
Shutting the door, I rush to the front steps and open the door fast.
I spend the rest of the night in the shower, closing my eyes as I think of Nixon, my fingers tracing the mark he left behind upon my body. A mark to remind me always of him. As I exit the shower, I walk over my work clothes and pull on a loose shirt and pajama pants as I can hear Taylor listening to music lightly.
Emily and Oliver tell me Taylor has no idea, that the people within the pack would never dare letting a human in on their world, for that would result in banishment or death.
Grabbing a towel, I dry my hair and get ready for another week without Nixon.
But can I really make it? Can I really avoid him for so long? Winter is nearing, the break where I won't have school to distract me, and I doubt, when winter break comes, that I'll be opening that door, exposing me to all sorts of new dangers.
<><>
"Have a great winter break," Mrs. Metz concludes our lesson as I finish the last note. "And I assume you'll practice."
"You know me," I reply with a smile as I pack up. Ever since the whole incident with Nixon almost a month ago, I've taken a greater passion for piano than ever before, working my fingers night and day against my home's piano. I miss the feeling of those polished ivories, the soothing sound, and appearance of the piano upon those steps in his piano room, how that one night I spent an hour just playing away. God, I could kill to play those notes again.
As I exit the school, I wrap my red scarf around my neck, trying to keep warm as the cold makes me want to curl up by a fireplace.
Unlocking my car, I find a call from Terrance. In the end, once Terrance found my mark, he called it off, deciding to stay away, saying he'd rather not insult a man he's looked up to for all of his life. Yet, a piece of me says that Terrance's comment is only temporary.
I don't reply to Terrance as I hop in my car and start up the engine.
I have work today till nine and I'm not the most happy about it. Quickly, I pull back my hair and apply a thin layer of mascara as I make sure my black clothes look fine. By the time I'm at work, I'm waiting tables like a mad woman, trying so hard just to get my pay.
Seven comes quick as I find myself cleaning a table just for another group to appear from the chilly outdoors. At least the tips are good tonight.
By eight I'm being called back into the main dining hall, my manager saying that he needed an extra hand. I'm given the table number of seven and head over, only, as I do, I see his head of hair, the chocolate brown locks I once held onto for dear life.
Memories flood my mind as I stop, my face paling.
"Lily, go on," my manager snaps in a soft voice and I find myself on autopilot as I put on my best face.
"Hello," I greet, introducing the restaurant, my eyes never once meeting his as his eyes are on me the entire time. "What can I start you all off with?"
I get alcoholic orders, and the second he speaks, my legs begin to quiver and heat goes down south, chasing me to want to get out of here as soon as possible.
Why now? Why did he have to be here now?
As I walk away, I can feel his eyes roaming my body, getting me excited as I go to grab the drinks. The whole time I await he drinks to be done, I steal glances at him, how he's in a navy suit today, looking good as ever, a bit of a five o-clock shadow, and way too addictive.
Making sure the bite upon my neck is still covered by make up, I pass the tables with the drinks in my hands. "Here we go," I inform, setting the drinks down on the table, reaching over the table to hand who I assume to be friends or co-workers their drinks, and as I hand his drink to him, one little ounce of contact is all I need to have me getting nervous as hell. "Can I take your orders now?"
His friends order, and so does he, his eyes frozen on me the whole time, making me weak as my handwriting begins to become sloppy under his gaze.
I spend the rest of my shift serving him and his friends their food and drinks, and as the restaurant closes, they get up, and I try my best to avoid eye-contact.
And he's gone. Just like that, gone and I'm left with an empty feeling in my chest.
Going back to the table to clean, I find, where he sat, a wad of money. My tip.
At least five hundred dollars and a small slip of paper.
I don't need his money. I don't need to be his whore. But then again, the action of claiming me doesn't just say that, but what Emily calls a mate.
I take out the sheet of paper, my frustration levels rising as I run roll it to see a small letter written in a fountain pen. Rich bastard.
I'll be outside, waiting, and you're coming back with me, no excuses.
And there enough he is, standing beside the door of his black car as I bite my tongue.
Pieces of me tell me to avoid him at all costs, yet, I know this is it, the time to return to the chaos that is yet to arrive.
Finishing my shift, I grab my coat and say my goodbyes. And once I'm out of the building and walking to his car, I know there's no going back no. Just like before, there's no going back.
A smirk is his only sign of what I'm doing make him happy. I slide into his car, fiddling with my thumbs as he hops in, starting the soft hum of the engine as I focus my eyes ahead. "It's been a while, my dear Lily."
"Indeed it has," I mutter, catching a quick glimpse of him.
The car takes off and my heart races as we drive off into the night. The whole ride is silent like many of the others as he takes the turn into his private drive, parking the car below into his underground garage. Always a show off of wealth.
As he hops out, I don't wait for him as I open the door and walk past him towards the door. Just as I reach the staircase to go up, my body is slammed against the wall, and I react, wrapping my legs around him as passion clouds my every thought.
All I want is him right now, to feel him, to have him back.
I throw my head back as he attacks that mark, sucking hard as I'm pulled up the stairs and into the living room. "I can't wait," he groans, ripping off my shirt as I agree, pulling his off as every ounce of me thirsts for him like a crazed animal. I don't even think of the bed as I straddle his body, pinning him to the floor on the Persian rug under him, no doubt real.
My lips attack his once more as I find myself pushing off his pants and mine follow along with anything else left.
The sound of tearing cellophane.
That unusual feeling is back, only to be gone faster this time as he groans and I take in a deep breath.
Passion.
That's all I feel.
Raw passion that controls me to keep going like a warrior with crazy stamina.
Nixon holds onto my hips tight as I see the soft flames of the fireplace where we are, my eyes only to go back to the man I've wanted to feel every day since I left.
As we slow down, covered in sweat, and tired, Nixon cups my cheeks, smiling at me like a man whose just seen light for the first time. "Goddess, Lily," he comments as I push my forehead against his. "I've missed you."
"And I can say exactly the same thing," I reply in a whisper as I pick up my hips again and set them down, Nixon throwing his head back as I forget the world around me and take my sweet time, knowing we won't always have this freedom. That soon, this sin, it will consume our future.