"I wanna hide the truth. I wanna shelter you, but with the beast inside, ther's nowhere we can hide. No matter what we breed we still are made of greed. This is my kingdom come. This is my kingdom come. When you feel my heat, look into my eyes. It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide.Don't get too close. It's dark inside. It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide."
-Imagine Dragons
"Good morning to you, good morning to you. Our day is beginning so good morning to you!" Lucifer sings. Sam starts to run away from him. To try and avoid the yelling and annoyances Lucifer has caused. But he knows he can't. He will always be there right when Sam doesn't need him most. "I thought you liked my singing!" He yells towards Sam.
Sam stops running because he knows he can never completely get Lucifer to leave him alone for even a couple of minutes.
"Pills? You do get that you're just bringing free drugs to the party, right? I am inside you, Sam. Hey. Sam. What's the longest a normal human being has ever gone without sleep? Eleven days." he laughs. Sam starts walking faster, but Lucifer stops. "hey. You always wanted to be normal, Sam! If you are, you'll be dead in a week!" he says. But Sam just keeps on running. Right in front of a car and gets hit. But luckily, he lives. An ambulance comes to get him and takes him to the hospital. A day or two after he's admitted, they send him to the psych ward because he's hallucinating and he hasn't gotten any sleep for days on end.
}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{
Dean barges into Sam's doctor's office asking where he is. All he wants to do is see his brother. It takes a few minutes for him to persuade the doctor into letting him see Sam, but eventually the doctor gives in. Maybe because he knows Sam might not make it as long as Dean had hoped. Maybe not, he could be wrong, but there's always some kind of doubt in his miind whenever a patient needs to go into a mental institution. He says its a full-blown psychotic episode. Dean isn't convinced. He knows Sam has ahd some problems lately, but he never thought they would get this bad.
He let's Dean onto the psychiatric floor of the hosptial explaining the best he can of what's going on. "Sam's condition, besides the broken ribs from the car crash, is either caused by the insomnia, or the insomnia is a result of his condition. We don't know exactly how to treat him, but we can't until we know what's wrong with him. We've pumped him full of sedatives, but so far he won't go under. We've never seen anything like it."
"Well the sleeping thing is kind of new." Dean tries to help.
}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{
"I'm just sayin', back when you had no soul, you never had to sleep." Dean opens Sam's door and walks in. "Ah, Mr. Helpless." Lucifer starts, but Dean can't see or hear him. "Pull up a six-pack, buddy."
"How are you feeling?" Dean asks Sam.
"Maybe you should cancel my UFC fight." he jokes.
"Yeah. keep that sense of humor, Sam. It'll get you through this."
"I'm gonna find you help, Sam" Dean reassures. But Sam scoffs. hee doesn't think this will ever go away, that Lucifer will ever leave him alone. Unless there's someone who can phisically hear or see what Lucifer does to Sam, no one will know the pain he goes through every day.
"Now that sounded a little cynical."
"I don't think it's out there, Dean."
"We don't know that."
"We know better than most. It's all snake oil. Last faith healer we hooked up with had a reaper on a leash. Remember?"
"Yeah, Sam. I remember."
"I'm just sayin'..."
"What? That you don't want my help?"
"No, I'm just saying don't do this to yourself."
"Sam, if I don't find something..."
"Then I'll die."
"Oh, you're upsetting me."
"Dean, we knew this was coming. When you put my soul back. Cas warned you about all the crap it would..."
"Screw Cas! Quit being Dali frickin' Yoda about this, ok? Get pissed!"
"I'm too tired. This is what happens when you throw a soul into Lucifer's dog bowl. When you think there's just gonna be some cure out there?"
"Aw, you guys are having a moment."
Dean leaves angrily. Quietly, but angrily. Sam's wrong. there will be some kind of cure out there. And he's gonna find it, no matter how long it takes. Sam will get better. Soon enough, this will all be over and done with. Hopefully.
}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{
Dean makes a few calls to some of Bobby's hunter friends, in hopes that one of them will have some kind of info on how to cure Sam. None of them call back or are very helpful except one guy. He says there's this guy named Emanuel that helped him get cured, and thinks that maybe he could help Sam too.
Dean goes to look for this Emanuel. He wonders why he's never heard of the guy, maybe he's kept a low-profile because of his whole 'helping and curing people magically' thing. Anyway, this guy better help Sam or Dean's gonna tear his hair out, still looking for some kind of cure.
}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{
"Narcissistic personality disorder. Ok, now this one this one I could have. Sets unrealistic goals, check." Sam's nurse walks into the room and gives Sam his meds, completely unaware that Lucifer is talking to Sam at this very moment, but Sam ignores him."But, trouble keeping healthy relationships? Not so sure about that one. Thoughts?"Sam still ignores him. Like he's not even there. he he definitely is. And Sam is sure of it.
Sam's doctor walks in a little bit later. "How are we feeling today? rib pain, on a scale of 1-10?"
"Its not bad. Um, 3?"
"You don't have to lie Sam."
Sam looks at him confused. "I'm not."
"You've suffered terrible agony. I mean, your 10 must be astronomical."
"Yeah. I guess I have a high threshold."
"Yeah. But the worst is always knowing theres a new ten."
"What are you talking about?"
"Well I'm talking about the truly elegant torture I have prepared for you today Sam." But it's not the doctor. After his last sentence, he morphs into Lucifer. Here we go again.
"Just stay the hell away from me." Sam demands.
"But its-its so nice chatting. Sam, I hate these onesided conversations.Come on buddy. Engage. Sam?You...me...locked ward. Is it just me or is this just like the cage?"
}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{
Sam yawns. Its been hours, days even, since he's had at least a few minutes of sleep. Whenever he closes his eyes, all he sees is Lucifer, but that's no different than now, either. One of the orderlys brongs in Sam's food, just a plain sandwich. Nothing special. Sam takes a bite. When he looks down at it again, his burger is full of maggots and mealworms. It's just a hallucination from the insomnia, as the doctor would put it, but this feels all too real. He immediately drops it on the ground as a girl walks by his door, stares at him. He stares back, and she walks away.
Now Lucifer has a bullhorn that makes high-pitched noises when e turns it on and off. "Ow! My head hurts! Make it stop!" he mocks Sam. A girl walks up behind him.
"Hello? You want this or not?"she gives a candy bar to Sam. He takes it from her. "I saw you yesterday. You didn't look to happy with your in-flight meal."
"Thanks, uh..."
"Marin. No Problem. Sam right?"
"That's it!" Lucifer yells into the bullhorn, followed by more high-pitched noises. Sam jumps unexpectantly. "I'm Sam!"
Marin leaves, probably scared of Sam now.
"I'm Sam. Hi."
}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{
Dean goes to Emanuel's house, hoping that he'll agree to help Sam get better. he knocks on the door, and a man answers.
"Is this Daphne Allen's house? I'm looking for Emanuel?" he asks.
"Well you found him. Daphne's resting. If you don't mind." Dean takes a few steps back so the man can go outside.
"Um, so, I was hoping,"he looks into one of the opened windows, and sees a young woman tied up and gagged in a chair. He looks back at the man to see his eyes flicker black. Friggin' demons again, he thinks. The guy slams Dean to the door, shattering the window in it.
"You were saying, Dean?"
"You know, I'd think twice. Or don't you know that your boss issued a hands-off memo?"
"Please, what have you done for him lately? Roman's head on a plate? No? Whatever Emanuel is, Crowley's gonna want him a lot more than he wants you these days. So..." he doesn't finish his sentence because Dean stabs him with Ruby's special demon-killing knife. The demon instantly dies. Dean pushes him down the front steps of the house and he lands at Emanuel's feet.
Emanuel looks up at Dean, and Dean automatially recognizes him. Cas. "What was that?" he asks.Or, maybe it isn't the real Cas. But it's definitely Cas's vessel, Jimmy Novak in there. He walks into the house to untie his wife. "Did that creature hurt you?" he asks her.
"I'm ok." she tells him. "But, Emanuel they were looking for you."
"It's ok." he reassures her in a quiet, soothing voice. he turns to Dean. "I'm Emanuel." He holds his hand out for Dean to shake. it taes Dean a couple seconds to regain his thoughts, he did just see his best friend for the first time in months-even if it isn't reall him inside the vessel-but this is a little too much for Dean to take in all at once. he ventually takes Emanuel's-Cas's-hand.
"Dean. I'm Dean."
"Thank you for protecting my wife."
"Your wife. Right."
"I saw his face." Emanuel tells her. "His real face."
"He was a demon." Dean answers Emanuel's unanswered question.
"A demon walked the Earth."
"Demons." Dean emphasizes the 's'. "Whack-loads of them. You don't know about..."
"You saw the demon's true face." Daphne, Emanuel's wife, says. "Emanuel has very special gifts."
"Yeah. I've heard that about Emanuel. That you can heal people."
"I seem to be able to help to a certain degree. What's your issue?"
"My brother."
}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{
Sam finally gets a few hours' sleep, but Lucifer wakes him up by lighting firecrackers and turning on the radio.
Wake up, Little Susie
Wake up
Wake up, Little Susie
Wake up
"You know, you're actually keeping it together better than I thought. Kind of... the way someone pinned under a bus keeps it together."
"None of this is real." Sam tells himself.
"You know what? It doesn't even matter. Because I won. Yor madness won. I mean look at you. Its hard to believe you were the guy who saved the world once." the door opens and a nurse comes in to give him his food"Mm. Sam.What'll it be today? Maggots again?Or, uh, tapeworm?" Lucifer asks Sam. Once again, he is ignored.
Sam thanks him.
"Your welcome. How are you doing?"
"Uh... a little better. That girl, uh, Marin..."
"Look, I'm not really supposed to talk about it. Let's just say, unlike you, she didn't get here 'cause of no accident." he leaves and closes the door behind him.
Lucifer lights another firecracker as Sam lays down, making him flinch.
}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{
"So Daphne, is that your wife?" Dean asks Emanuel.
"She found me and cared for me."
"Meaning?" Dean questions him.
"Oh, its a...strange story. You may not like it."
"Believe me, I will."
"A few months ago, she was hiking by the river, and I wandered into her path, drenched and confused, and...unclothed. I had no memory. She said...God wanted her to find me."
"So who named you Emanuel?" Dean asks.
"Bouncybabynames.com." He says as if it doesn't sound ridiculous.
Dean looks at him funny. "Well, its working for you."
}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{
Sam passes out after talking to Marin again. "Sam how you feeling?" His doctor asks.
"His soul is broken, Doc." Lucifer says over his shoulder. "Can you give hima pill?"
"I can't give you any more medication. The potential for overdose is too great." sam look down at his fin gernails. They're starting to bleed a little a chip off. "We need to talk about surgical solutions."
"Surgical?" Sam asks.
"Ooh. Lobotomy?" Lucifer suggests.
'it's ok We're not talking lobotomy here."
"Darn."
"Sam. You with me?"
}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{
When Dean and Emanuel get to the hospital, while picking up Meg along the way, there demons all around the perimeter of the hospital. There's no way in hell they can get in there unnoticed. Meg and Dean talk privately for a second, them Emanuel starts asking questions. He thinks that they know each other.
"Just a dollop." Meg remarks.
"You can tell me. I'll be fine." Emanuel tells Dean.
"How do you know? You just met yourself. I've known you for years." Dean tells him.
"You're an angel." Meg says flatly.
"I'm sorry? Is that a flirtation?" he asks her.
"No its a species. A very powerful one."
"She's not lying. Okay? That's why you heal people. You don't eat. I'm sure there's more." Dean explains.
"Why wouldn't you tell me? Being an angel- it sounds pleasant."
"It's not. Trust me. It's bloody. It's corrupt. It's not pleasant."
"He would know. You used to fight together." Meg states. "Bestest friends, actually."
"We're friends? Am I Cas? I had no idea. I don't remember you. I'm sorry." Emanuel-Cas-apologizes.
"Look. You got the juice. You can smite every demon in that lot." Meg tells Emanuel/Cas
"But I don't remember how."
"It's in there. I'm sure it's just like riding a bike." Dean says.
"I don't know how to do that either." Emanuel says. "All right, I'll try."
"This ain't gonna go right." Dean tells Meg after Emanuel/Cas walks away.
"I don't know. I believe in the little tree topper." she smiles.
Cas walks up to the demons. He put his hand on its head, just like Cas used to do. The demon dies, and memories come flooding back to Cas. He remembers first meeting Dean. He remembers the many times he has saved Sam and Dean from other angels. He rememebrs working with Crowley. Opening the door to Purgatory and becoming a housing development for the Leviathans. He remembers everything, and soon enough, the demons are all smited.
"That was beautiful, Clarence." Meg says.
"Cas?" Dean asks him.
"I remember you. I remember everything."
}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{
"What I did. What I became. Why didn't you tell me?" Cas asks Dean.
"Because Sam is dying in there."
"Because of me. Everything. All these people. I shouldn't be here." He starts walking away, but Dean calls after him.
'If you remember, you did the best you could at the time."
"Don't defend me. Do you have any idea the death toll in Heaven? On Earth? We didn't part friends, Dean. I deserved to die. Now I can't possibly fix it... so why did I even walk out of that river?"
"Maybe to fix it." Dean suggests. Dean opens the trunk of his car to give Cas something. He takes out Cas's old trenchcoat, still stained with dirt and blood,a nd gives it to him. He puts it on, just like old times.
}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{
Sam is taken to an electric-shock therapy room. The nurse hooks him up to a machine, and he turns out to be a demon. The demon turns the settings on high and starts the machine. All of a sudden, Cas appears and smites the demon. He turns the machine off and gets Sam back to his room. "I should never have broken your wall, Sam. I'm here to make it right." Cas uses some of his 'angel mojo' to try to fix Sam's head, but instead of seeing Cas, he see's Lucifer.
"You're not real." Sam says tiredly.
"Sam," Cas whispers. "I'm so sorry."
Sam passes out again.
When he wakes up, Lucifer is still in his room, this time, reading 'The Three Little Pigs'.
"Now, you see, that third little pig was smart. Went out and got some bricks."
"What the hell do you mean you can't?" Dean asks Cas.
"I mean there's nothing left to rebuild." Cas states matter-of-factly.
"Why not?"
"Because it crumbled. The pieces got crushed to dust by whatever's happening inside his head right now."
"So, you're saying there's nothing? That he's gonna be like this until his candle blows out?"
"I'm sorry." Cas says again. "This isn't a probkem I can make disappear. And you know that. But I may be able to shift it."
"Shift?" Dean asks him.
"Yeah, it would get Sam back on his feet."
Cas walks over to Sam's bed and sits down next to him. "It's better this way. I'll be fine."
"Wait, Cas. what are you doing?" Dean asks him.
"Now Sam...This may hurt." But sam doesn't see Cas. He still sees Lucifer wearing a cheap doctor's costume.
"And if I can't tell you again... I'm sorry I ever did this to you." Cas apologizes.
He puts his hand on sam's forehead, and a red light shines through his skin, into Cas's veins, making his eyes glow the same red light. Once the glowing stops, Sam doesn't see lUcofer anymore, just Cas.
"Cas? Cas is that you?" Now Cas is the one seeing Lucifer.
"Hello...brother."
Cas looks at 'Lucifer' in shock and disbelief. He gasps and backs up into the wall. He looks scared out of his witts, and hears the terrifying and faint laughter of his angelic brother.
Sam finally gets to leave the hosptial, btu Cas must stay because of his insanity and hallucinations.
"I don't know, we can't just leave him." Sam says.
"Well we cant bring him with us. Everything on the planet's out for us, ok? Word gets out, we can't protect him. Not really. This is safer. Every demon who knows about Cas is dead."
"Not everyone." Sam scoffs. "Look, Dean, this whole 'enemy of my enemy is my friend' thing feels kind of like a demon deal."
"Its not a demon deal.."
"It's what?"
"Mutually assured destruction. Look man, I get it. She's not our friend. We don't even have friends. All of our friends are dead."