Chapter 10: Committed
Olivia took a long pause just staring at her daughter, perhaps seeing for the first time how broken she was. Gen's flashback had shaken her to the center of her heart. She wanted to know more but she decided not to push her.
Gen was sitting in her bed, opening her shell. She was letting her mother see her. She finally felt safe enough after all this time. Partly, she wanted to close herself off and shove the feelings deep down inside but she couldn't. She felt tears streaming down her face. She felt herself begin to close up again.
Olivia composed herself, and reached for her.
At first Gen shrank back, and shook her head. Olivia kept her arms outstretched, waiting patiently, silently hoping Gen wouldn't pull away.
"No mom" Gen said shaking her head. "No."
"Why not?" Olivia asked softly.
"Because I know you don't love me anymore..." Gen half whispered.
Olivia stood from the chair, and climbed onto the bed, wrapping the girl into her arms.
"That's ridiculous. You know that. Don't you? Sweetie what happened to you WAS-NOT-YOUR-FAULT" Olivia said squeezing the girl to her.
"Please..." Gen begged.
Olivia held her tighter.
"STOP IT!" Olivia yelled."Talk to me! Talk to me! Yell at me if you want to! Just talk to me! Nothing you can do can make me stop loving you" Olivia said in a softer tone as she felt Gen cringe.
Gen sighed. She paused thinking over what her mother had just said.
"I...what do you want me to say?" She mumbled.
"Just talk to me. I can't help you if you don't talk to me. And obviously keeping it to yourself isn't helping you. Tell me anything. Everything. Please just let me in." Olivia begged.
"It was all my fault...I ran away, and ran into him, and I didn't stop him. H-he tied me up, and beat me with the belt, and I tried not to let him rape me but he forced my legs apart, and I just wanted him to kill me!" Gen cried.
Olivia just held her keeping quiet until she knew Gen was done talking.
"I wanted you to come find me, but when you didn't I gave up, and I hoped that when he was done he would kill me this time. Then you came, and saw what he had done I was so...ashamed. I didn't want you to see me!" Gen said her voice hoarse, and tears ever spilling from her eyes.
Olivia patted her back, and whispered words of comfort.
"I want you to see someone...I can go with you. We can do this as a family. But you nearly died, and I won't risk your life. Ever. You need to start eating and keeping down your food. Please Gen?"
Olivia knew she sounded desperate, and she knew that Gen had been very open with her but she also knew her daughter was still hurting. She wouldn't risk Gen attempting to take her own life again.
"Fine. I'll see Dr. Kerns" Gen said reluctantly.
'What if they make me stop cutting, and purging?' She thought.
"You mean it?" Olivia asked excitedly.
"Yes. Can I go home?" Gen asked.
"No. They are keeping you for 72 hours in the psych ward when you leave the ICU" Olivia explained.
Gen was pissed. She pushed away from her mother, and glared at her.
"Are you kidding me?! I'm NOT crazy mom! This is bullshit! This is totally unfair! How the fuck can you let them do this to me?!" She yelled.
Olivia raised her eyebrow.
"You done? I would love to take you home, but you attempted suicide, and you're a minor so I had to do this or they would have done it for me. It's only 3 days honey." Olivia said.
Gen crossed her arms, and huffed.
"This is fucked! I don't belong here!"
"Why do you do that?" Olivia asked.
"Do what?" Gen snapped back.
"Open up in bursts of anger, then close yourself off, and later deny you have a problem" Olivia said.
"I don't know..." Gen said staring at the wall.
Just then there was a sharp knock on the door.
"Come in" Olivia said.
"Hello Genesis. How are you?" Dr. Kerns asked closing the door behind her.
"How do I look?" Gen smarted off.
"Genesis..." Olivia said in a warning tone.
"It's ok Ms. Benson. It's quite normal for suicidal persons to feel irritated with everyone once their attempt has failed. I'll be working closely with Genesis for the next 3 days, and figuring out an outpatient plan." Dr. Kerns said politely.
"Is there anything I need to do differently once she comes home?" Olivia asked.
"I assumed you'd be joining in on our sessions?" Dr. Kerns asked looking puzzled.
"Of course" Olivia said nodding.
"Ok. A nurse is going to come in and get Genesis settled in the psych ward while we talk for a bit" Dr. Kerns explained.
A nurse enterned a moment later with a wheelchair.
"Hey Genesis. I'm Erin. I'll be your nurse for the next 3 days. Can you stand up at all? Are you in any pain?" She asked politely.
"I think I need help, and it's just a slight burn. Morphine helps" Gen winced.
Erin moved forward to help Gen, and she recoiled. Erin stepped back out of the girls personal space.
"Mom?" Gen asked.
Olivia held up a finger to the Dr. and made her way over to her.
"What is it baby?" She asked.
"Chair..." Gen mumbled.
"Ah, right new person you don't know?" Olivia said getting the hint.
She easily lifted Gen, and placed her in the chair. Erin took over from there wheeling Gen away. Gen's eyes went wide with fear when she realized Olivia wasn't beside her.
"I'll see you tomorrow honey. It's going to be alright" Olivia called.
Yay! Gen agreed to get some help! But she's far from cured...Comments?