Chapter Six
Tony tried to hide in the bathroom. He didn't want to go back outside and see the look on Gibbs' face. The look that said Tony was damaged used goods. He had sat with rape victims and heard their stories. His heart always went out to them, but nothing prepares you for the feeling of loss of control in your own life. How dirty and used you feel. It was worse being a man that was attacked, just like others he never wanted to admit it. He had been a cop and yet he couldn't protect himself. Tony had been dragged, he should have known better. What if Gibbs didn't want someone like that on his team? Losing the respect of the man he cared about most would be worse than what happened.
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Gibbs waited another thirty minutes and still no Tony. He had seen what had happened to victims before, how isolated they felt, and sometimes they were abandoned by people they cared about. He wouldn't do that to Tony and neither would Ziva or McGee. He did need to discuss how they were going to tell the other two members, but first things first he had to let Tony know he was here for him no matter what.
"Tony." Gibbs called out and waited for a moment. "If you don't answer or get your arse out here I am coming in, even if I have to break the door."
Slowly it opened, and Tony pokes his head around the door. His eyes were swollen and sore from all the crying.
"You want to talk to me?" He choked out the words his throat dry and scratchy.
"Of course I do DiNozzo." Gibbs answered abruptly and watched as Tony flinched. "I'm sorry Tony I'm not angry at you. I am at what happened to you. I wish I could have been there to stop it, or help you through it. What I am angry at is the man that did it to you and most of all. If your theory is correct and I believe you. I want Marks to pay, I want him to suffer."
Tony slowly made his way to Gibbs looking like a lost little boy who looked as if he had no one to turn to. Gibbs held out his arms open and in the blink of an eye Tony was in them clutching tightly at the older man as if he were his life line.
"I....." Tony sobbed out.
"It's ok Tony. I'm here." Gibbs whispered as he stroked and kissed Tony's head. None of them were in the right state of mind to go to the precinct, that would have to wait until tomorrow. He couldn't leave Tony alone not at the moment.
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A few hours later Gibbs lay on his bed with Tony wrapped up in his arms. The man in his arms had finally fallen into an exhausted sleep. Comfortable enough to trust Gibbs to protect him. Every now and then a nightmare would start up by Gibbs would talk to him in a soft voice, his hand smoothing up and down his back. A gentle kiss to his head and Tony would fall back into an easy sleep.
Tony slowly started to move and Gibbs knew that he was starting to wake up.
"Mmmmmmm" Tony's voice was still sleep heavy and slowly rubbed his body against Gibbs. Suddenly he freezes. "Gibbs."
Gibbs tightens his arms around Tony just a little to let the other man that this was ok; it was actually more than ok. Now, because of this situation there was no way Gibbs would say anything now. He would be taking advantage of Tony in his vulnerable state, and that was something he was not going to do.
"Tony, we do need to talk about you and this case." Gibbs' voice low.
"I know you're going to have to Ziva and McGee aren't you?" Tony asked, knowing the answer already.
"Yeah and Vance also, so if anything comes back on this or what happened is brought up that he won't be entirely in the dark. We may never always see eye to eye, but he is a decent man. Look how we got around saving Ziva?"
"I know, but I am worried about the looks they'll give me. If they wonder if I can take care of myself because I let myself get ....", Tony choked on the word as he always did. He tried not to think of himself in those terms but with it all coming out he had no choice. "Raped."
Gibbs slapped Tony on the back of the head. "DiNozzo, don't be an idiot."
Tony rubbed the back of his head and looked at Gibbs' glaring face and he smiled. It felt so normal; he knew that the older man wouldn't treat him any differently. Without thinking, he brought his head up and placed a gentle kiss on Gibbs mouth. Then, he suddenly froze with the realisation of what he had just done. Tony pulled back, panic covering his features, his eyes wide and shining with fear.
"I'm sorr I...." Tony stuttered as he struggled to pull out of Tony's arms.
Gibbs held him tighter until Tony realised he couldn't escape and had to stop fighting. "No, Tony don't it's fine. I do want this, I want you, but I can't do this, not now. With everything that is going on, I would feel as if I was taking advantage. Let's talk about when we go back home. Go on a few dates and see ok?"
Tony nodded. "Wine and dining huh? So I get to see how Leroy Jethro Gibbs, second B for bastard managed to get married four times?"
Gibbs shook his head, a small smile on his face as he climbed out of bed. "You carry on talking like that and you won't." Tony mimed locking his mouth. "If only it were that easy to shut you up DiNozzo. I am going to send McGee in here to keep an eye on you while I tell Ziva. Then I'll get them to swap places. Once that is done I will give Vance a call." They both got out of the bed and moved, so they were facing each other.
"I don't need babysitters Gibbs. I thought you trusted me to be able to take care of myself." Tony said anger colouring his voice.
Gibbs reached out and stroked Tony's cheek feeling the other man lean into it. "I do trust you. But, after hearing your side of things not only is there a rapist out there that could possibly come back after you. After all, you are the only one to survive. Then, we have Marks; he is one sick puppy who could come after you. Look what he has done already, he WATCHED you get raped and then did it himself."
"So, you don't think it was all in my head?"
"No Tony, your recollection and the marks are too similar to be a fabrication. The way Marks looks at you and talks to you, there was undoubtedly something off about it. I knew he had a thing for you but what he did....." Gibbs' voice faded off, his hands clenched into fists at his side. He took a deep breath to calm down. "I will be back later; do not let anyone apart from McGee in at the moment. I have not ordered or requested anything. There should be no other knock at the door."
"I know Gibbs, I promise."
Gibbs gave Tony a soft kiss and headed out of the hotel room. Tony waited a few minutes until there was a knock at the door. He went over and looked through the peephole seeing an extremely confused Tim McGee.
Tony opened the door with a gigantic fake smile plastered on his face. "Hey McConfusion come on in."
"Uhhh Gibbs wanted to talk to Ziva privately; do you know what it's about?"
Tony looked away and took a deep breath. McGee watched him and knew it had something to do with the man standing in front of him. Whether it was because Tony had done something wrong, or for another reason he had no idea.
"It's kind of about this case, but Gibbs will tell you everything." Tony turned and watched as McGee opened his mouth to speak. Tony held up his hand. "I can't tell you McGeek don't even ask."
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It didn't take too long for Ziva to be in the hotel room watching as McGee left. Tony stood there fidgeting not knowing how the ex-mossad officer was going to react. They had their ups and downs, really bad ups and downs, but they were still a family. He hoped.
Once the door had clicked closed Ziva was in his arms holding him tight.
"Tony, I will hurt if Marks if you like. I can make it slow and painful. These things can last for an exceptionally long time." Tony pulled back and smiled as he looked at her. She meant every word, and they were the best things that she could have ever said. "Once we find out who the other man is and we will. I will make him suffer as well. You are my family. I will avenge what was done to you."
"You don't think I'm weak then?"
Ziva cupped his face with her hands and made sure that he looked into her eyes. "You are not weak. You survived something awful, two terrible things and one by a person you trusted who was supposed to have your back." Ziva looked away for a moment remembering how she had turned on him. They had worked things out, but she was still disgusted with the way she acted. Once she got the pain and sorrow from her face and eyes, she looked back up at him. "You survived and did not let it ruin your life. You can have relationships with women; you do not get nervous when someone touches you. I am tremendously proud of you for that."
Ziva wrapped her arms around him once again and they stayed like that until there was a knock at the door. Ziva walked over and checked to see who it was. She pulled it open and there stood an extremely pale looking McGee.
"Tony I....." He shrugged his shoulders having no idea what to say.
"That's ok Tim."
"Uhhhh Gibbs is just calling Vance to let him know what is going on. He'll be back in a bit then we can continue discussing what is going on."
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Gibbs put the phone to his ear, as much as he told Tony he trusted Vance he wasn't sure how the other man was going to react to this news. He knew that Vance wasn't a big fan of one Tony DiNozzo. He just hoped it wouldn't back fire and that Tony wouldn't be the one to suffer.
"Leon it's Gibbs there's something you need to know."
TBC