Sebastian Stan ~ The Wonderful Land Of Romania
Prompt:
You are a stand-up comedian turned actor. You are doing a show in New York and don't realize that some of your co-stars in the audience.
(Y/CW/S)= Your Civil War side (Sorry?)
Warning: Not my best work, but not my worst. Sorry for the grammatical errors. IMPORTANT QUESTION AT THE END!
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Inspired by: Marathoning Netflix Comedy specials (Specifically John Mulaney)
*•*•*•
"If you guys haven't heard I'm in a movie." You smile and the audience cheers. "I'm guessing you guys knew that." They laugh. "But if you didn't know, I'm in the new Captain America movie... I play a rogue Hydra agent that helps Steve find Bucky and down the line, I join Steve's side.
"Technically, this is my second movie with Marvel because I was briefly in The Winter Soldier as the chick who helped calm down Bucky in the bank vault scene." You explain. "But this time, I'm in most of the movie.
"And with being in Marvel, you do a lot of fighting scenes." You stop walking around and face the crowd. "Which means you have to work out. And if you know anything about me, you would know I never used to work out.
"So, the first month of training with my personal trainer, I was wheezing and sweating and smelling like armpit by the time I got home from the gym that day." The audience laughs. "I am not kidding." You add. "Ask (Jessica/Julie), my trainer, she would confirm.
"Plus they signed me up for gymnastics... I don't bend like that!" You vent. "They taught me how to do the splits, that hurt... I know I shouldn't be complaining because Chris had to do gymnastics too and he's a guy. But seriously... that shit was hard." You start walking around the stage again.
"The highlight of that training was when I got to fight Scarlet Johansson aka Black Widow, you saw a little bit of that in the trailer." The crowd cheers. "That was the highlight but it also was the hardest thing ever. That woman can bend and twist and move like a freaking snake.
"Then we had to 'fight', " You put air quotes around 'fight'. "each other's stunt doubles too. Which was even harder because they knew what they were doing." You walk over to the stool that has your water bottles on it.
"I also had a fighting scene with The Winter Soldier aka Bucky Barnes aka Sebastian Stan. So I had to train with him." You remember while opening the bottle. "That man in loose sweats, a tight white tee shirt, and his long brown hair slicked back in that little man bun..." You shake your head while taking a drink of water. "Damn."
In the Audience
"Damn." You gawk making Chris hit Sebastian's arm. "Pierce was right, that man is a gift to all mankind. A Romanian gift to all mankind... I am not kidding. Ladies, don't you agree?" You ask the audience and a lot of the girls cheer making Sebastian's face turn even more red. "See! I'm not just being creepy!"
Back on Stage
"I mean, the whole cast was full of attractive guys like Chris Evans, Anthony Mackie, Paul Rudd, RDJ, Chadwick, all of the guys but Sebastian mother fricking Stan." You sigh in delight. "Okay, I feel like I'm making you guys feel awkward from my creepy, unhealthy admiration for him." The audience laughs slightly.
"I'm sorry." You smile a bit then realize something. "Fuck... I just remembered this is going on Netflix for my special, so... he's going to hear this." You put your face in your hands as the crowd laughs at your embarrassment. "Thanks, guys. Means a lot."
Later in the Show
"Now it's time for twitter questions." You announce making the crowd cheer. "You guys tweet me your questions and I answer them. If you're here in the audience, scream if it's your question." You explain. "Doesn't matter how stupid they are, I'll answer them." You add as the screen behind/above you brings up the first tweet.
"Ok, so first question." You turn around to read it. "From @Fandoms_Hero and they ask: If you were a kind of cheese, which kind would you be?" You turn to the crowd as you hear a yell. "This is going to be an interesting segment."
Few Questions Later
"What would your personal choice be if you had to pick a side in Civil War?" You read the question. "Finally, a good question." You turn to the audience. "I would personally pick... (Y/CW/S)--" You hear some 'aws' in the audience.
"--because (Tony/Steve) is right, (superheroes need to have some kind of limit to their power so the world will be safe/superheroes need to be free, they can't be under the watchful eye of the government).
"But they both are fighting for what they believe is right for the world, right for the safety of the human or inhuman/mutant races. No one is right and no one is wrong." You add. "At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what side you are on, your feels get destroyed."
*•*•*•
"Last question!" You cheer. "And it's from..." You sigh at the name. "It's from @ChrisEvans--" You get cut off by a really loud manly cheer. "--Would you like to come up and asking instead, Chris?" You ask.
"Yes!" Chris shouts back as he stands up.
"Do you have Mackie with you?" You ask noticing he tagged Anthony in the question too.
"Yep!"
"Bring him with!" You command and Mackie gets up too. "(Rob/Clark), do we have two extra mics?" You ask the stagehand, he shakes his head.
"No, we only have one." He informs.
"First one up here gets a mic." You say and they start to sprint towards the stage making everyone laugh.
*•*•*•
"So," Chris holds the mic with a pouty Anthony standing next to him. "me and Mackie were wondering why don't you have a creepy stalker crush on one of us instead of Seb?"
Your face flushes red slightly making the crowd laugh.
"I think I listed why earlier." You say.
"Oh, we already knew that stuff by the way you watched him during the fighting scenes." Mackie smirks, your drop your head into your hands. "We want to know the more stalkerish details."
"Why?" You whine.
They look at each other and shrug.
"Embarrassment purposes." Chris answers.
"You know I can just kick you out." You deadpan.
"But you won't." They point out.
You let out a long exaggerated sigh.
"How many reasons?"
"Five."
"Okay." You put your hand on your hip while thinking. "Reason one is that... is that he's a really sweet and nice person. While filming for Civil War we got a lot closer. He's a dork. He's one of my best friends. And..." You rub the back of your neck. "I saw The Bronze, so I can confirm he has a nice ass." You admit making the two laugh along with everyone else.
"Awwww." Chris and Anthony coo making the crowd laugh.
"I ship it." Chris smiles.
"I do too even though I don't know what that means." Mackie agrees.
After The Show
There's a knock on your dressing room door.
"Who is it?" You ask as you walk around the room, putting away some stuff.
"Sebastian." They say through the door making you trip over the medium sized ottoman in the middle of the room, dropping everything.
After a minute of silence, Seb knocks on the door again.
"(Y/N)?" He calls. "Are you okay?" He asks.
You groan in response.
The door opens and walks in Sebastian Stan in all his glory.
"Need some help getting up?" He asks, kneeling down beside you.
"Just leave me here to die." You shake your head no while you lay there with your eyes closed in shame.
"I can't do that after the nice stuff you said about me today." You can hear the smirk in his voice.
"That's why I need to lay here and die." You put your hands over your face.
"You can do that while I do this then." Seb says as he takes your hands off your face and slowly pecks your lips.
"Are you still dying?" He questions as you don't say anything for a while after the kiss.
You nod your head yes.
"Wanna go out for dinner tomorrow?" He asks, you nod again. "Pick you up at six." He pecks your lips and heads out of the dressing room.
Alternate Ending
"Just leave me here to die." You shake your head no while you lay there with your eyes closed in shame.
"I can't do that after the nice stuff you said about me today." You can hear the smirk in his voice.
"That's why I need to lay here and die." You put your hands over your face.
"You can do that while I do this then." Seb says as he takes your hands off your face and slowly pecks your lips that kind of turns into a mini makeout session.
"Woooo! Damn, Stan!" You hear two guys hoot from the doorway making the two of you pull apart.
"Get it, (Y/L/N)!" Mackie cheers.
Alternate Ending #2
"How many reasons?"
"Five."
"Okay." You put your hand on your hip while thinking. "Reason one is that... is that he's a really sweet and nice person. While filming for Civil War we got a lot closer. He's a dork. He's one of my best friends. And..." You rub the back of your neck. "I saw The Bronze, so I can confirm he has a nice ass." You admit making the two laugh along with everyone else.
"Awwwwwwwwwww." Chris and Anthony coo making the crowd laugh.
"Sebastian is here." Anthony announces making your eyes widen.
You groan and slowly lay on the stage's floor.
"Whyyyyyyyyyy?!?!?" You shout.
Alternate Ending #3
There's a knock on your dressing room door.
"Who is it?" You ask as you walk around the room, putting away some stuff.
"Sebastian." They answer making you stop in your place. "Can I come in?"
You clear your throat. "Yeah."
The door slowly opens to reveal the one, the only Sebastian Stan.
"Hi." He awkwardly greets.
"Hey." You greet back.
"Uh..." He scratches the back of his head as he walks up to you. "That was a good show tonight."
"Thanks." You sheepishly smile.
"My favorite part was when you said all those things about me." He admits. "And for your information, I think you also have a nice butt."
Outside the door, you can hear manly giggling.
"Smooth, Seb, smooth." Anthony chuckles through the door.
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Ha, tricked you... not an important question. APRIL FOOLS IN MARCH!!
Would you guys like an Easter special that is kind of a second part to the Christmas one?
Also, would you like an April Fools special too? Like a prank war between Seb and the reader.
~Zoe aka Meowlnir