Chapter Two: A Panic.
Jessica's POV: After
Breathe In. Breathe Out. Breathe In. Breathe Out.
Okay, just stay calm, there's nothing to worry about. You should be happy, they'll be safe and everything will be fine. I'll continue life how it is: Elliot and my college courses being my main priorities.
"Jessica, are you alright sweetie? Aren't you happy that they're coming home?" Cathleen asked cautiously. They all knew that I hadn't told my brother or Parker about the baby and they've respected my decision but let's face it, they're coming home next week and sooner or later they'll find out. I prefer the latter though.
Elliot seemed to save me from the awaiting questions that my family would inevitably ask me as he started up crying again meaning that it was time for breakfast or a diaper change. Silently I took him from Cathleen and smiled at my family before heading upstairs to take care of Eli.
~
When I emerged from my room an hour later the entire house was silent. Elliot went to take a morning nap and it seemed like the rest of the house decided to go on with their days, this was horrible for me though because I was left alone with my thoughts and right now I don't want to deal with having to face the inevitable. There are so many things that I need to process like:
1) Parker and Daniel are coming home after almost a year of being gone.
2) Both Daniel and Parker don't know about Elliot.
3) I haven't contacted Parker since I found out I was pregnant.
4) Parker is Elliot's father and he has no clue.
I feel like such an idiot, I could have avoided all of this if I had just out right told them about my pregnancy in the first place but I didn't because I'm an insecure idiot. I'm so horrified of what Daniel and Parker will say when they find out; I figured I could put off telling them. I've known that I'd have to eventually tell them but I don't want to, imagining the disappointment on my brother's face is enough to make my self-esteem go down the drain. All of my teenage years he's told me about how all boys are stupid at this age and has done everything in his power to make me the most undateable person at my high school because all of the boys feared Daniel's wrath. Except one of them.
I wish I didn't have to tell Parker either, he always had so many things that he wanted to accomplish, none of which included being a father at 19. Then in August, he was leaving to go to bootcamp with the promise to come back safely. I found out I was eight weeks pregnant in October and since that day I haven't spoken or contacted to him. He sent me letters but they still sit, sealed, on my bookshelf, the last one I received is from last week.
"Why did everyone have to leave so that I'm alone with my thoughts?" I asked out loud to the empty living room.
~
"Jess! Jessica! Guess what you'll never believe what they had on sale at the store!" My mom called from downstairs.
"One minute I'm just finishing up the laundry." I yelled back from Eli's nursery where I was putting away the rest of his little onesies. Since I've had Elliot I don't think I've ever done so much laundry in one day.
"Hi sleepy boy! Let's go see grandma." I said, smiling down at Elliot who had just woken up from napping. Picking him up, I hurried downstairs to see what mom bought.
"Okay so you'll never believe this but at the store they had diapers on for 20% off so I bought two really big cases of them for Eli!" My mom told me as soon as I got into the kitchen.
"Mom! That's crazy, thank you so much but you really didn't have to do that! Thank you, really!" I said whilst going in for a hug with Eli still on my hip.
"Sweetie, what have I told you... you don't have to thank me, I'm just helping out my favourite grandson and my favourite daughter."
"Mom... we're your only grandson and daughter." I told her, laughing at her "excuse" for why she spoils both Elliot and I. She just shook her head and laughed as well before going to put away more groceries. I helped by pulling things out of the bagged passing them to her as a way of helping her out even though what she does for me is a million times more significant.
"Jessica, have you thought about what you're going to do when you brother and Parker come home?" That is the same that I've been thinking about since I was told of the news and still I was conflicted.
"Well, I just don't know how to tell them. You and dad along with Parker's family all know that Parker is the father but telling that to Daniel and Parker, I just, I don't know how they'll react. I'm keep thinking of the worst scenarios and how maybe Daniel will hate me forever or Elliot will grow up without father because Parker wants nothing to do with me. Mom, I'm so confused and I don't know what to do." By now I was freaking out with all of the "worsts" that could happen. Instantly Mom wrapped me up in a hug and let me be wrapped up in her comfort which is exactly what I needed.
"How about we go into the living room to talk and Elliot can rest a little bit with grandma, alright?" I nodded and followed silently toward the living room, the place where Daniel, Parker, and I would create amazing forts when we were smaller and even as we were teenagers, that seems like forever ago. Once we were sitting down and Elliot was with my mom, I broke down in tears because I didn't know what else to do.
"Jess, tell me what's really bothering you about all of this." Mom said sweetly.
"I'm scared. Scared of what Daniel will say about me being a mother and Parker's reaction to that as well. But then there's also the news that it's not just some random guy but that Parker's the father. I don't think I could handle that, Daniel will lose it and I don't Parker wants to stick around because he's had plans of going to college and doing something with his life, none of those plans were to be a parent so young. Mom, I'm lost and I don't know what to do." I said through tears and snot, definitely not the most attractive sight.
"Honey, it'll be okay, I'm sure that everything will work out. I can't imagine what's going through your head right now and I don't know how I can help you other than being here to support you to make whatever decision you think is best for everybody, meaning do what you think is best for you, Elliot, and Parker. Your brother is the least of your worries when it comes to priorities. I just want you to do what's best for Elliot and I want you to happy with your decision. Your dad, Cathleen, and I will all be here to support you with whatever you choose and we'll try as best we can to help you." I nodded absentmindedly along to what my mom was telling me. I tried my best to smile when she finished, I just wish that this would all be over with soon and we could all end up happy.
~
At three a.m. my usual alarm of Elliot's wailing echoed its way through my bedroom where Eli's crib temporarily resided. Once I finished feeding him and he was back asleep, I struggled to go back to sleep, my mind was racing. Sneaking over to my bookshelf I decided to finally read over Parker's sealed letters that he'd sent me during my period of silence. Cautiously I grabbed the first one that my hands could find, turning on my lamp I started to glance over some of his messily sprawled out handwriting.
June 16th
Dear Jess,
You'll never believe it! We're being released, we're coming home for good. I can't wait to see you. I love you so much and I know you haven't been writing me lately but if you read this just know that I love you. I know we never properly said that to each other or that we were never open about our relationship with our families but when I come home I really want to start over, if you haven't found another guy to sweep you off your feet. I want to ask you out on a proper date where we don't have to sneak around and I want to come to your house to see you without the excuse of seeing your brother. I want us to be a proper couple, no more sneaking around or secrets.
I love you, Jessica!
I'll see you soon.
Love Parker xxxx
That letter was from about a month ago and if anything it confused me more. I was probably just over thinking this but maybe he'd only want to stick around for me not a family.
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Hey Guys!
So... two updates in one day! Anyways tell me what you think about this chapter and next chapter you'll see into Parker's POV of the beginning of Parker and Jessica's relationship!
See you soon!
bookworm