"Hey Axel?"
"Yeah?"
"Why are you in my bed?"
"Because you asked me to."
"Oh...Axel?"
"Yeah?"
"Are we cuddling?" I shift and feel a weight on my belly. I'm assuming that it's his arm.
"You could call it that." He scoots closer to me and his lips fall to my neck. I feel a slight sucking like an octopus is trying to love me. Awh octopus kisses they are so nice.
"That's nice." I mumble. Who knew octopi were so friendly? I sure didn't! I didn't even know they were capable of loving someone. You learn something new everyday.
"You like this?" I feel Axel smile against my neck.
"Yeah I've never had anything do that to me before. I wish I was an octopus."
"I don't know what you're saying anymore." He laughs and his warm breath glides over my skin.
"Axel?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm going to kiss you."
"Trinity-"
"I just want to make sure."
"Make sure of what?"
I don't answer. I turn my body so I'm facing him and I wrap my arms around Axel's neck. I lean in and somehow find his lips in the darkness. I give him a slow kiss. It's nothing extravagant just a short lip lock. He doesn't move his lips against mine like he's scared or something. I pull away immediately after and turn my back to him.
"Hey I just don't want to take advantage of you when you're like this." He slides one of his hands up and down my naked arm.
"It's fine I got my answer." I cozy up to the pillow.
"What we're you trying to find out?"
"If I loved you or not."
"And?" His voice is husky. I wonder what time it is.
I give a sigh of relief. "I don't." It looks like I really am just a kissing maniac.
"Like hell you don't!" His voice turns to fire but a sexy fire. Is that even possible? Like the calming type of campfire you would sit around with your family.
Axel's body is suddenly on top of me and his face is inches away from mine. His breath is rapidly increasing and I wish the light was on. I would be able to see his toned muscles if only there was light!
"Trinity you can't run from the truth."
"You're right I'm a lousy runner; asthma and all." I hold back my smile apparently this is a serious situation. No laughing Rin! Don't do it and be good, listen to what he has to say.
"You're just so cute." He places his head on my shoulder. I pet his hair in response. He reminds me of some type of tiny creature.
"I can't help it. Being cute has always been my problem in life. Well until someone decided to use my body for carving." Oops didn't mean to let that one slip out. Maybe I am a little tipsy.
"Are you ever going to tell me what happened to you? I feel like I'm in the dark." Axel groans.
"That's because you are. The light's over there if you want to turn it on." Turn it on so I can see your toned body.
"I meant it symbolically." I imagine him rolling his eyes.
"Well I mean it literally." I giggle.
"You're killing me." Axel kisses my cheek but doesn't make any attempt to move off of me. Not that I'm complaining or anything.
"Sorry I'd hate to kill my bed bud."
"That sounds dirty."
"It was supposed to be. It always seems like we're sleeping together." I give him a cheesy smile but he can't see it in the dark.
"Would you believe me if I told you that you're the only girl I've ever slept with?"
"No." Is my instant reply. "That would mean that you're a virgin and you're way too drop dead gorgeous for that." One of his hands cups my cheek and brushes the hair out of my face.
"Why are you a virgin?" Wow he doesn't lead up to a question does he? He just jumps right in.
"Because I choose to be. Plus the fact that I have trust issues and in my youth Monster made sure I was isolated. I never knew the right way to act around boys and always felt awkward. When I finally did meet someone-" I cough why am I telling him all if this? "He found something better and left."
"A girl?"
"Money." I answer quickly with no emotion. It gets tiring always being disappointed in people.
"I don't understand."
Does he ever understand?
"Neither did I. Axel if you wouldn't mind could you get off of me?" I press against his solid chest.
"Why?" There's a hint of playfulness in his voice.
"Because I want to rape you. Why do you think dumbass?!? I want to sleep and it's impossible when you're pressed against me."
"Do I make you uncomfortable." He's totally smiling right now.
"In more ways than you know." I mumble. It happens so fast. Axel's lips press against mine and his warmth flows through me. He uses both hands and tilts my head to meet his lips. Are those fireworks? No! There are no fireworks taking place! He presses his body into mine. Nope none at all. One of his hands wander to my stomach. Whatever there might have been dies. I push his hand away and off of me.
"No." I wave my finger and scold him like a puppy that just ate my food. Nobody touches my food!
"I'm sorry! Honestly I wasn't going to try anything it just happened." I imagine him running his hand through his hair nervously.
"It's alright I understand that I'm too sexy for you to handle." I laugh it off but honestly I don't know how to react. What does he think he's doing? Is this real or just all a game?
"Please hun I think it's the other way around." Axel scoffs and rolls off me.
"Axel I meant what I said the first time we met. Falling in love with me is off limits. I don't do relationships and I definitely don't do guys with issues. Personally I'm not emotionally ready for a meaningful relationship right now anyways." Or ever.
Axel doesn't say anything. Maybe he's angry or he understands. Whatever he's thinking he doesn't put into words. When morning comes we're both going to pretend this night didn't happen. I'll blame it all on the alcohol and if he asks I'll say I don't remember for his sake not mine. He gets up from my bed and walks away. I can't blame him I'm too messed up for anyone to love. I push people away when they get too close to protect myself. Axel is still somewhat of a mystery. He's here for some reason and that reason wasn't the one he gave me in the beginning. He lied to me but why? If he didn't plan on doing anything to hurt the team he wouldn't have to lie.
I reach for my phone and scroll to Zane's name. He answers groggily.
"Zane." I whisper into the phone.
"Rin what happened? Are you okay? Where are you?" His voice is panic ridden.
"Calm down silly goose I'm fine. I'm in my bed and a lil tipsy."I pop the p in tipsy.
"Of course you are."
"I need you to do something for me."
"Anything."
"Buy me a puppy."
"You're really drunk aren't you?"
"My bed is so empty. I need a snuggle buddy. Buy me a puppy or an octopus please."
"You woke me up at four in the morning to ask me for a puppy!"
"You're right I should just remain alone." I whimper. "I'll just go sleep with the twins."
"Don't cry baby girl. I'll buy you a million puppies if that's what you want."
"But that's way too many!" I gasp. "What would I do with them all?"
"You'd love them silly and they would love you back."
"You're the bestest fake ex boyfriend ever! You're way better than my ex husband Edwin."
"Da fuck?"
"Don't worry we got a divorce things just didn't work out." I sigh I'll always love him....probably.
"Why didn't things work out?" Zane suddenly seems interested.
"Because I kissed another man right in front of him." I shrug it off like it's no big deal.
"You did what!"
Okay so maybe it is a pretty big deal. I'm no cheater it wasn't my fault!
"But in my defense I thought I was kissing my hubby. Axel got it the way last minute and then-"
"You kissed Axel!!?"
"More like he kissed me but I didn't stop him." I think about our interaction just moments ago. I didn't stop him immediately.
"I'll kill him! I told you he was serious Rin!!! I can't believe! I'm coming over right now and I'm going to give him the suprise of a lifetime."
"No, don't! Pierce already had words with him." Although I don't really know what those words were. Axel didn't have any bruises on him so Pierce didn't hit him.
"How did you feel about it?" Zane says slowly.
"I don't know." I say honestly. "I'm not ready to be romantically involved with anybody right now. I mean look at me." I point to myself although I know Zane can't see me. "But it was nice. I haven't had a real kiss in awhile so yeah." I throw my head on my pillow. Zane should become a therapist.
"What do you mean you haven't been kissed? I kissed you just last week! Am I not good enough?"
"You're funny." I giggle. "Your kisses never meant anything."
"So you're saying Axel's meant something." Yep this boy needs to become a therapist! My personal therapist.
Damn, I curse in my head. Zane is so manipulative.
"It did because he didn't have to kiss me." I sigh for the hundredth time tonight. "He Kissed me because he wanted to."
"Oh baby bunny." He comforts.
"So that's why I think I liked it. No other reason what-so-never."
"You mean what-so-ever."
"Do I? I don't know anymore. I'm tired but then again I feel like I could take over the world. Then again I think I'm in the early stage of a deep depression. Then again I really need those puppies. Then again I don't need a bunch maybe just one. But then again one might not be enough so I might need two. Then again-"
"Stop saying "then again" and stop rambling." Zane chuckles. Am I really that funny? Doesn't this guy know I'm in depression?!? This is some serious stuff.
"Don't laugh I'm wallowing in self pity right now."
"Why are you throwing yourself a personal pity party. PPP for short."
"Now I really have to PPP." I realise that my bladder is about to explode. I stumble to my bathroom and turn on the light.
"Don't keep me on the phone while you pee. You need to have some decency Rin."
"But I'll get lonely. Ahhh!" I squeek.
"What what's the matter?"
"Sorry I just saw my reflection in the mirror. I'm so scary! I'm not kidding you should see me right now. Where are my pants?" I look down and see my naked thighs. Did Axel do this to me!?!?!?!
"Rin I can't take you seriously when you're like this."
"I'm in desperate need of a shower." My hair is all bunched together like it hasn't been brushed in weeks and my makeup is smeared. I look like a rabid raccoon. My eyes are bloodshot probably because it's like early o clock.
"No you need to sleep, take one when you wake up. If you take one now you'll fall asleep in the shower and drown."
"That's a fascinating thought." I giggle still staring at my monster appearance. "Grrawr!" I curl my hand and move it forward like I'm clawing something.
"Did you just growl?" Zane questions.
"Yeah, I make a cute rabid animal. I'm going to take a shower so I'm hanging up on you now." I press the end call button before I hear his response. "Shower time! Shower time!" I sing and start taking off my shirt. "It's getting hot in here so HAWT! So take off all your clothes. I am getting so hot I'm gonna take my clothes off." I reach for my pants but I remember I'm not wearing any.
I hop in the welcoming shower still singing. I used to sing all the time now I hardly ever do. I used to write songs and sing them for Nike.
It all started with a kiss
Something so simple as this
It started out slow
Then I just went with the flow
And let you take the lead
Which was really strange for me
It started with a kiss
On my lips
With his hands
On my hips
Saying sweet nothings
In my ear
He pulled me close
Saying it's not easy
And then he disappeared
He left me all alone
With nobody's hand to hold
With a dream that he would be back
But who's really the fool
I have a dream that won't come true
Love's like a heart attack
I touch just underneath my eye and notice tears forming. Huh, I guess I'm still emotional. Or maybe it's just water landing right in my eyeballs. Yeah that's it.
"I need to get a life." I groan and lay on the floor of the tub. I'm suddenly very tired. Someone knocks on the bathroom door.
"Rin, are you okay?" Hedge asks.
Why is Hedge awake at this hour? Is he nocturnal omg is he a raccoon like me?
"I'm sleeping."
"How about you sleep in your bed then? You're going to drown."
"I can't get up."
"I'll help you." He turns the knob.
"I'M NAKED!" I announce loudly.
"Oh?" He walks in the room anyways. Thank the Lord for shower curtains. "Should I still help you?" Hedge doesn't seemed bothered by my nakedness situation. Maybe it's because he only has eyes for Twinkie or he just doesn't see me as a girl. Jerk.
"I'll get up just hand me a towel." He does and I lean on him for support. I'm all sore. Why? I didn't even do anything.
"Get dressed, I'll turn around." Hedge turns away and shuts his eyes. He's so nice.
After I put on my under garments and a huge t-shirt he helps me to my bed. I lay down and he sits down next to me.
"Why are you still up?" I question him.
"I can't sleep. I was thinking of how to ask Twinkie out on a date." He coughs nervously. He's so cute!
"It's simple. Just walk up to her, look straight into her eyes and say wanna go out sometime baby?" I wink and start laughing uncontrollably.
"I'm serious!" He shoves me playfully.
"I'm serious too." I go to shove him back but I miss him and slump forward a bit. My face hits the bed. "That's how Monster asked my mom out." I muffle losing oxogen.
"Oh, is that so?" He shifts and lifts my body. He pushes me up by my shoulders so I can sit up. "You don't talk about them. You know before he totally flipped out."
"Well I'm not usually this drunk." Yes I admit, I am drunk. I noticed when I tried to eat the shampoo bottle. "They were so lovesick it physically made me want to throw up. Now I regret not treasuring those moments. Some time later he rarely came home. Eventually he stopped coming home altogether because he was focusing on work. When he did come home he wasn't the same guy I knew. He changed into something completely foreign. He didn't show affection towards mom anymore and he hit me. He never touched Brand or mom; just me. Hedge-" my voice cracks. "Why was it only me? What does he want with me? What makes me so special?"
Hedge's eyes water and he hugs me. Both of his hands grip my shirt.
"I don't know." Is his simple reply. It's not an awful answer. When I ask other members they come up with possible reasons that no one can prove to be true. I don't know the answer either.
"Don't leave me alone." I pull the covers closer around me.
"I won't, I'll stay with you until you fall asleep. I would sleep with you but-"
"Twinkie wouldn't like it." I finish his sentence. He nods his head and smiles sheepishly.
"How did you know I was up?" I lay down. His sudden appearance was really odd.
"Who didn't know you were up? Your singing was perfect by the way. It was nice hearing you sing again." Hedge's eyes close.
"Goodnight Hedge." I hold his hand and close my eyes. It's nice having people care about you.