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Ashlyn
The room is dark as we lay in his bed. We moved here after our time on the couch, when we finally caught our breaths and were able to chase the dizziness from our minds as our hearts slowed their rhythm. Mateo told me about his literary agent and how she got him an amazing publishing deal. And when we got to his room he pulled back his covers and climbed beneath them, holding his arm open as an invitation for me to lie on his chest. I didn't even hesitate.
Tomorrow there will be more challenges. Some will be small like a pulled muscle or a tall flight of stairs on an icy morning, and other will seem insurmountable. Maybe the memories of our traumas will come back for a visit or fate will decide we'd escaped its' angry grasp unjustly and throw us another trauma to overcome. I don't know how to prepare for all the what ifs, but I know that I won't be alone when they appear before me.
Recovering from something heartbreaking is a life long experience. You never get to check the box that says it's no longer a part of who you are. It will always be there like a marker in your DNA, but how much power you give it is up to you. Mateo has chosen to look his heartbreak in the eye everyday. He told me to get to the place he is now, he forced himself to wake up each morning and look at his new body. When he took away the ability for his injury to snatch his confidence, he was able to accept that his scars aren't just reminders of what he's lost, but they're reminders of what he had. Time. The time he had with Pines, and the time he was left with when death didn't take him that day.
As for me, I choose happiness. I conquer my trauma by living in the present. I don't go back to try and make the same mistake twice. So while Rhett will always be important to me, the truth is I knew from the moment he couldn't look at me as we waited to be cut free from his mangled car, that we would never be the same. Too many dreams were crushed in the accident and fences that needed to be mended with Joseph so that we could be secure in our lives together, were left forever broken.
Mateo's arm pulls me closer and I rest my cheek against his strong chest and close my tired eyes. His lips press to the top of my head and he runs his hand down my back as I feel myself drift off to sleep.