Althea's POV
Pagkatapos ng pag-uusap namin ni Jade sa phone, hindi ko maiwasang kabahan. Kahit hindi niya sabihin, I know there's something wrong. Her voice was shaking. Hula ko, pinipigilan nitong umiyak sa kabilang linya. But why? That I'll find out later.
I didn't push her to tell me what's bothering her because I knew better. I know Jade won't keep anything from me. Kung may problema ito, sinasabi naman niya kaagad sa akin. Kaya ngayon, hindi ako mapalagay. Idagdag mo pa yung kailangan kong sabihin sa kanya.
Ayoko na sanang sabihin muna dahil baka makadagdag lang ako sa problema na dinadala niya ngayon. Pero hind pwede. Batchi's right. I should tell her this the soonest dahil mas magiging complicated kung patatagalin ko pa.
If magalit siya, tatanggapin ko. Pero hindi ibig sabihin noon na papakawalan ko siya. I love her. I'll do anything to make up my mistake. Hindi magiging madali but I'm willing to do it if it's for Jade because I know, it'll be worth it.
"Batch, maaga akong aalis. Nakabalik na kasi si Jade from Cebu. After nito, diretso na ko sa kanya." I told Batchi as I scan the documents on my table after glancing at her.
"Osige, tsong. Ako na munang bahala dito. Isa pa, may kailangan ka pang gawin kay Jade. Ayusin mo yang gulo na pinasok mo."
"Don't worry, Batch. Sasabihin ko na sa kanya mamaya. Wala naman akong balak itago sa kanya yun." I said as I settle all the signed papers inside a folder and placed my pen on a pen holder. "Sige na. I'll go ahead. Katatawag lang sakin ni Jade. Baka naghihintay na yun sa condo niya." Batchi just nodded at me as I stood up from my chair and grabbed my bag.
I heave a sigh before walking to her side. I know she can sense my nervousness as she gave me a pat in a back. That's all I need to give me at least a breather. "Wish me luck, tsong."
"Good luck, Thea. Basta kahit anong mangyari, kumatok ka lang sa bahay ko. Magdala ka na din ng isang case na Red Horse." She joke trying to lighten up my mood which really helped. I gave her a wide smile.
"Sige, tsong. Isama mo na din si Wila. Medyo nahuhuli na siya sa balita tungkol sa akin. Baka magtampo yun. Isipin niya, tanggal na siya sa tropa."
"Aba't mukhang kailangan talaga ng resbak ah." Batchi eyeing me as she crossed her arms over her chest. I just shrugged my shoulders at her.
"Para kapag naglupasay ako sa sahig mamaya, mabubuhat mo 'ko. Mamaya ikamatay 'ko pa kapag tinry mong buhatin ako." I mocked but she just laughed at me which I later joined in.
"Huwag ka mag-alala, tsong. Hindi naman kita bubuhatin. Hahayaan na lang kita sa sahig matulog. Tutal, sanay na sanay ka naman. Na-try mo nga sa kalsada, di ba?" She retorted making me remember what I did when I was still moving on from Cathlyn. That was really a disaster. Or should I say, I was a disaster.
"Sira! Mauna na nga ako. Ikaw na bahala dito. I'll go ahead." I said dismissively before walking straight at the door, leaving Batchi laughing out loud.
Upon entering the elevator, I let out another heavy sigh. I couldn't contain my anxiousness whenever I think of Jade. Wala pa man siya sa harapan ko, pinagpapawisan na ko dahil sa kaba.
Get your shit together, Althea. It's now or never. I thought making my way to Jade's condo.
After thirty minutes, I reached her condo. Dumiretso kaagad ako sa elevator, paakyat sa unit niya. Habang papalapit ako ng papalapit sa unit niya, dumudoble din ang kaba na nararamdaman ko. I'm sweating real hard and my stomach is swirling.
I didn't bother to hit the door bell since I have a spare key. She gave me this during our first monthsary dahil napapadalas na din ang sleepover ko dito.
When I entered her unit, I saw her sitting on the couch. Her head rested on the back rest, eyes closed. I can tell that she isn't sleeping because of her unsteady breathing.
"Love.." I softly called her and her head automatically shot up to me. Nakita ko siyang malungkot pero after a few minutes, napalitan ng galit ang expression sa mukha nito. Why is she mad? Yun ang hindi ko alam.
When I was about to come near her, she spoke. And the words that came out from her mouth made me flinch. "Don't you dare come near me."
"Love, hey. What's wrong?" I asked worriedly, not moving from my spot.
"Who is Cathlyn?" She asked with darkness in her eyes and fire on her voice. I was stunned. I can feel my heart beat erratically, but not in a good way.
"H-How did-"
"Just answer my damn question, Althea. Who is Cathlyn?" She asked slowly, emphasizing every word. She's mad. She's fuming mad. I don't know what to say since I'm terrified with this side of Jade. This is my first time seeing her like this and I swear I want it to be my last.
"Answer me!" She shouted making me held my breath. My body is starting to shake. Pakiramdam ko din nanunuyo na ang lalamunan ko.
"S-She's my ex-girlfriend." I blabbered softly but soft enough for her to hear it. She looked away from me and nodded her head. She then harshly wipe the tears cascading down on her cheeks.
I hate seeing her like this. I instantly want to come near her and pull her into an embrace but it seemed like my strength had been drained and I can't move even an inch.
"Do you still love her?" She asked, accusingly.
"W-What?" I subconsciously asked. I couldn't believe my ears. Saan naman niya nakuha yun?
"You heard me, Althea. Do you still love her?" She repeated through her gritted teeth. Para naman akong biglang natauhan dahil sa tanong nya. I somehow feel the strength I've been garnering since earlier.
"No! Of course not! Jade, ikaw ang mahal ko. Saan mo naman nakuha yan?" I answered looking straight into her eyes for her to see that I'm telling the truth.
She scoffed. "Really, Althea? How can you do that? Ang galing mong umarte. Ang galing mong magpaikot."
"What are you talking about, Jade? Ikaw ang mahal ko. Yes, Cathlyn is my ex at hanggang dun na lang yun. It's you that I love. Only you, Jade. Ano bang pinagsasabi mo dyan?" I explained calmly even though my temper is already rising. How can she accuse me like this?
"Liar. Sinungaling ka, Althea. Alam mo, mas matatanggap ko pa kung umamin ka na lang eh. But this? You keep on denying the obvious. Manloloko ka, Althea. Niloko mo 'ko." She spat with pure disgust on her voice.
Meanwhile, every word she said was like a spear that darted through my heart. My mind suddenly went blank and all I can hear were the last words she said. All this time, ganon pala yung tingin niya sa akin. Isang manloloko.
I've made a mistake but I don't deserve this. I can swear to God that everything I felt and showed her since we've been together were real. Up until now. I looked at her intently. I want her to see pain in my eyes after hearing her say those words.
"Yun ba talaga yung tingin mo, Jade? Ganoon ba 'ko sa'yo?" I asked, hurt evident on my voice. My voice starting to shake along with body. My chest and throat are in pain because of the tears I'm trying to stop from falling.
Jade looked at me for a while and I saw her firm look softened a bit but she refuse to deal with it. She didn't answer my question but she handed me a brown envelope instead. "What's this?" I asked before reaching for it.
"See for yourself." She answered sternly, facing the other way.
I opened the envelope and I saw pictures inside. I paled and my heart hammered faster upon seeing who's in the pictures. Para akong tinakasan ng lakas dahil sa nakita ko. Where the hell did she get all these?
"S-Saan mo n-nakuha 'to?" Lakas loob kong tanong pero nag-iwas lang siya ng tingin. I return my gaze to the pictures and I can't believe that everything was captured. Simula noong hinahabol-habol ako ni Cathlyn hanggang sa nangyari kahapon. Eveything is there.
"Tell me, Jade, saan mo nakuha 'to?" I asked, clenching my jaws. I wasn't mad at Jade. Nagagalit ako sa taong nagbigay nito at kumuha rin ng chance ko na makapagpaliwanag. I know I've made a mistake kaya nga ako nandidito para sabihin sa kanya ang totoo. But because of these damn pictures, Jade has already made up her mind.
"Does it matter?"
"Yes, it does. Kung saan mo man 'to nakuha, they obviously wanted to ruin our relationship."
"No, Althea. It's you who ruined our relationship. 'Wag mong ipasa sa iba yung naging kasalanan mo. It's you who put both of us here."
Wow. That hurt. I remained quiet for a while. Hindi ko akalaing mabilis akong huhusgahan ni Jade. I wanted to shout. I wanted to get mad and tell her how can she easily throw away everything. We're both hurting, mad and disappointed.
But I can't get angry at her. I won't.
Hindi ko pwede sabayan yung galit niya because it'll make things a lot worse.
I put the pictures back on the envelope and subtly wipe my tears. "Hindi mo man lang ba 'ko pag-eexplainin?" I asked carefully kahit alam ko na ang magiging sagot.
"What for? So you can feed me with your lies? Niloko mo ko, Althea, so no. Hindi mo na kailangan dagdagan pa yung mga kasinungalingan mo." She said with finality in her voice. I'm beyond distress right now. I feel like I've been crushed and my heart was ripped out of my chest.
I was speechless.
I'm afraid that if I talk, mas lalo ko lang siyang masasaktan.
"So what do you want me to do? G-gusto mo na bang tapusin 'to?" I asked with a resigned tone. She looked at me for a second and I saw her expression changed. Her firm look earlier, was replaced by confusion and sadness.
"A-Althea.." She called me and I can't comprehend the tone on her voice. But right now, she's hurting me just the way she say my name.
"Do you want this to end, Jade?" I pushed. Hindi ko man gusto na itanong but I need this.
I need to hear it para alam ko kung saan ako lulugar.
"Kaya mo?" She shot back.
"If you want me to, kakayanin ko." I swallowed the lump on my chest, preparing myself for her answer. Alam kong hindi ko na kailangan pang marinig ang sagot niya because judging on how she talked to me earlier, she's already decided.
I looked away from her gaze because I don't want her to see me break. I don't want her to see me weak because I know, if I do, mahihirapan siyang magdesisyon.
It's not as if I want her to let go but I just want her to decide not minding of what I feel. I know her so well. Kahit hirap na hirap na siya, iisipin niya pa rin yung kapakanan ng iba bago ang sarili niya.
"A-Althea, no. Hindi ko kaya. I know we're both hurting right now kaya please.. Please give me time to think. Nasaktan ako, Althea. And I'm still hurting but that doesn't mean that I don't love you anymore. We just need space pero hindi kita itatali sa akin. I-If you want to get back with Cathlyn-" I didn't let her finish her sentence as I ran to her and pulled her into an embrace. Hindi naman siya nanlaban but she didn't hug me back but it doesn't matter. I just want her to feel my love for her. I tighten my embrace on her, too afraid she might slip away.
"No, Jade. It's you that I want. It's you that I need. It's you that I love. It's only you. It will always be you. I'll wait for you, Jade. Kahit gaano katagal, maghihintay ako hanggang sa matanggap mo ulit ako. Hindi ako titigil hangga't kaya mo na ulit akong pagkatiwalaan because honestly, I don't think I can live without you, Jade. So please, give me a chance to redeem myself to you." I whispered in her ear while soothing her back. I can feel her weep harder on my shoulder and I let her be. We stayed like that for God knows how long until i felt her breathing become steady.
I pulled away from her and placed a kiss on her forehead. "I'm going to win you back, baby. Trust me. I love you." And with that I walked away and leave.
I felt my knees wobbled as I let my tears flow freely along with the raging emotions I've been trying to control earlier. I grasped on the wall for support and cried over and over, tiring my eyes out.
It didn't turn out the way I wanted it to be but I'm still grateful kasi hindi natapos ang relasyon namin ng ganon-ganon lang. I still have a chance to make things up at sisiguruhin kong hindi ko na sasaktan si Jade. Ibibigay ko na ang sarili ko ng buong-buo especially now that I'm sure what's my real stand on Cathlyn.
I'm going to win this for us - for her.