Third period has just ended. I quickly close my book, gather my things and head to my locker. I am walking out of class and I start to think. Why did I smile after reading his note? I mean he is a dude. I swear I thought I am only to smile when girls write me sweet things. Wait did I just call him “writing a note” a sweet thing. Fuck, if this school finds out that I really am gay, they might go as far as getting me to leave. As if being different wasn't hard enough. Man I really do have the worst luck. So, as im walking to my locker I feel a light tap on my shoulder.
“Hey Katsu you left class so early I didn't get a chance to speak with you about something I was thinking about in class.”
“Oh sorry Ambur. People usually don't want to talk to me after class so I just usually get to my locker as soon as possible.”
“It is okay Katsu. Plus, who wouldn't want to talk to you? You were very enjoyable to talk to in class. You are definitely cool in my book. Speaking of cool I wanted to know if you gave any though about trying to be a cheerleader.”
“Wait..you...want...me to try out?”
“Yes, why not? I think you would be perfect, plus you are so god damn cute. You are perfect for the job, both Jasmines think so as well.”
“Oh ummmm....may I think about it?”
“Of course Katsu. Oh and you must sit with us at lunch time. I wont take no for an answer so I better see you in the quad area at the cheer table.”
“Okay..see ya at lunch.”
“Bye cutie see ya soon.”
As I walk away I began to think again, Wait...did she just call me cutie? I am not cute. At least I don't think I am cute. As you already know I am half Japanese and half American. I am about 6'1, with a slender body. I have long charcoal black hair that goes down to the middle of my back. I have almond shaped honey-brown eyes. My skin is somewhat pale. I guess me always being home, and never really going outside doesn't really give me a tan. Many people have actually called me “cute” before, but I honestly do not see it.
I enter my 4th period, Algebra 2, and fuck Steven Lloyd is in the front of the class with his clan of buff dummies laughing away.
“Oh hey Shitsu I didn't know you were smart enough to be in this class. It is bad enough I have to see you in one class already. I think I should go to the administration building and ask them to change the schedule of all the scum in this school. What do you think Shitsu?”
I just look at him, almost in tears, and just walk to an empty desk. I just wish he could leave me alone. I just want to attend my classes in peace and not have to worry about being teased, disturb, and taunted by Steven. I do not understand at all why he must pick on me.
“Hey Shitsu I know you heard me. Are you going to start that ignoring me shit again like before school started? Remember how I almost kicked your ass. There are consequences when you piss me off Shitsu.”
“Steven please just leave me alone.”
“Naw leaving you alone wouldn't be so much fun now would it Shitsu? Tell me one good reason why I shouldn't just punch you square in your face right now.”
“1. My name is Katsu and not Shitsu. 2. We were best friends in the past Steven. I don't know why you treat me so sour when were so good friends. I don't know why you hate me so much. I don't know if I did anything wrong, but the way you treat me is beyond unfair.”
“We are in the present and in the present we are certainly NOT friends. You are more of a useless punching bag. In fact....”
Before he could finish his last sentence our teacher walked in the classroom. Thank god saved by the teacher again.
“Hello class take out a piece of paper and do the mini assignment on the board. If you have any questions please feel free to ask. Only use calculators if you indeed can NOT find the answer. Remember they are only there to HELP you and NOT figure out all the work for you.”
I began working on the assignment. Of course my mind starts to race with thoughts again. How does two people go from having soda drinking contest, sleepovers, hide and seek late at night to one of the ex friends using the other as a punching bag. None of this makes sense at all. I start to think so much that I notice I am done with my assignment and the bell is going to ring. I start to gather my things and turn in the assignment.
“All right class make sure the mini assignment is turned in, and all of you have a great day.”
The bell rings and I head to my locker. I get to my locker and open it up and a note fall out of my locker. I reached down to pick up the note and flip it open to read it.
“Katsu, you are simply gorgeous. When I see you I don't know what to say. I want to date you and eventually make you my boyfriend. I am of course too shy to reveal who I am as of this moment. I just wanted you to know that you are something special.
-The boy who thinks of you <3”
This has to be fake. This note has to be a school prank. Who would write me this? What kind of joke is this? Wait, maybe Kevin wrote it. I mean he did write me a note about looking through my personal files. If this is his idea of a joke then he can fuck off! I must tell him this isn’t funny. Thank god it is lunch time. I am so heated right now. People can't ever leave me the fuck alone. I walk to the lunch room and notice him in line. I hurry and walk up to him and I tap him on the shoulder.
“Hey Katsu what's up?”
“I will tell you what is up. I found your joke cruel and just plain uncool. Why would you write this? I mean if you wanted to make a fool out of me at least don't pretend to be my fucking friend.”
“Whoa dude what the hell are you talking about? I only wrote you one note. I swear I didn't write anymore after that.”
“Then what the fuck is this?”
Steven takes the note and reads it. He then pulls me to the side so we are out of reach of any wondering ears.
“Look Katsu I honestly think you are a cool, misunderstood yes, but cool guy nonetheless, but dude I have a girlfriend back home. I am not gay. It is so cool if you are and best believe your secret is safe with me, but yes I am 100% straight. Your secret is safe with me though”
I look at him confused. I was wrong and accused him of something he didn't do. Great I feel like shit.
“Oh I am so sorry Steven. I didn't mean to accuse you. Thanks for keeping my secret. I get teased enough around here.”
“It is cool Katsu”
“Hey ill catch you later I have to go sit with some cheerleaders”
“Oh smooth Casanova Katsu sitting by cheerleaders. You lucky bastard”
“No, I am not lucky they are female cheerleaders.”
“No, Katsu any man who gets to sit at any cheer table is lucky to me.”
“You are so odd Steven, I will catch you later.”
I then spot and walk over and sit down at the cheer table.
“Hey Katsu we have been waiting for you. So, here is the deal. Cheer tryout are today, and we would so like you to join. You would be perfect. You are so adorable and interesting, and we look for quality and interesting people to be on the squad and we think you are perfect. Now I know you told Ambur you would think about it, but just let me tell you. If you joined cheer you would have so much fun, it is a great extra curricular for colleges, and you will meet and love a lot of people.”
“Are you guys sure you would want me on the team? I mean I am the laughing stock at this school. No one really like me here. I get teased constantly, and I am not popular at all”
“Katsu that is why we mainly want you to join. Over the years we have seen the teasing and we don't like it. You always sit alone and look sad. So, we thought we would be the first to reach out to you and be your friends. Can I tell you something personal?”
“Yes you can.”
“You remind me of my brother. He was the same way and people teased him. It got to bad that he simply wasn't himself anymore. One day I go home and notice my house is too quiet. I go upstairs and find my brother on his room floor with his wrist slit and a note. I don't want you to feel alone Katsu. This isn't charity or anything we just want to get to know you. Everyone needs a friend right? I just don't want you to end up taking your own life. It kills me everyday that I didn’t reach out to my little brother.”
“I...I am so sorry I had no idea.”
“It is okay Katsu. I have been decided that I would try to help anyone I see with the same traits. So, what do ya say?”
“I don't want to let you down so, I guess I am trying out. Don't hate me if I suck and don't make it.”
“Don't be silly I am sure you will do just fine.”
“Thanks Jasmine W.”
So I guess I am trying out to be a cheer leader. I wonder if I will fail. Also, I can't believe I was wrong. I so thought Kevin wrote the note. I get up say my goodbyes and head to my locker to get my binder for my next class. Man if it wasn't Steven who put the note in my locker, then who was it? I walk up to my locker, unlock it, and a piece of paper falls out. What the fuck? Another note? I reached down pick it up and read it.
“Katsu that new boy isn't the one writing you notes. I think he may actually want to be your friend. Me on the other hand have been cruel to you. I sat back and let things happen to you when I could have said something, and for that I am truly sorry. I do want to say though, I love sneaking glances at you. Every year I sneak peeks at you in class. You have gorgeous fairy tale eyes, that makes someone want to read you like a book. I like watching your long dark black hair sway back and fourth when you walk. I love how you look when you are in a really deep thought, which is a lot by the way. I wish I had the courage to reveal to you who I am, but I can not right now. I will however give you clues and maybe you will figure out who I am. If you don't I will reveal myself to you at the schools masquerade ball we have every year.”
-The boy who thinks of you <3
I then look at the bottom of the note and there is a small drawing of lily. I am so confused. What does a lily have to do with anything? I then slip the note in my binder and walk away, but before I close my locker I remember Gym is my next class so I wont need my binder. I then make my way to the gym but I don't realize I am basically late. I was to busy reading that note and trying to figure out the clue. I then try to race to the locker room and I am quite sure by now that everyone is dressed and out doing the activities. I enter the locker room, and just like I thought it was empty. I then quickly walk to the row with my locker. I walk pass the equipment room and I hear a weird noise. I take a few steps back and I notice the door is slightly open. My curiosity gets the best of me and so I looked through the door. The is someone in there with there pants at their ankles. It is a guy of course because this is the boys locker room. The guy is whispering something. I cant quite hear what he is saying, so I put my ear to the crack of the door and listen closely.
“Ohhhh...yes...ahhhhh”
What the hell is going on. That wasn't words. This guy is jacking off. Wow he must have really been aching to bust. I mean who jacks off at school. Wait he is saying something else.
“Yes, Katsu hmm. I...I...love you Katsu. Ahhh yess”
I quickly get up and run to my locker. What the fuck did he just say? Did he just say my name?! Who on earth was that. Wait could it have been the guy who wrote me the note? Wait why does it matter I am not even suppose to be gay. My dad would kill me. They would really treat me like a different species. I need to hurry up and get dressed, so that all my points for today aren't taken away. I get to my locker, open it up, pull my gym clothes out, and get dressed. In record time I am dressed and out of the locker room. I let the coach know I am her, and I join the class. I sort of blend in the back because it is a group activity. No one really wants me in their group. I then notice Steven walking out of the locker room. Wait, what the fuck. Steven is never late for class. I also notice him fixing “himself”. Wait could Steven be the guy jacking off while moaning my name? Could that also mean Steven is the guy writing me these notes? I swear I think too much at times.
So class is almost over and I can't get my previous thoughts out of my head. I start to get up and I look across the gym and notice Steven is looking at me. I quickly look away. Why was he looking at me? I hope he doesn't try and beat me up for noticing him looking either. Oh god I could never look at him the same either. I mean it is not like I seen him in a good light anymore. Fuck, life sure does know how to fuck me over.