Ashlyn
I'm pacing by the time 6pm rolls around. Rhett is on the couch watching me stalk back and forth while I wait for the doorbell to ring. He lifts his beer up to his mouth and takes a sip as I make another pass. "We're definitely going to lose our deposit. I can't imagine the landlord being cool with the path you are leaving in the carpet." I glare at him, but also check to make sure he's being sarcastic because I known I've done a few laps and it's totally possible I've left matted down carpet in my wake.
"I don't usually get this nervous," I say, shaking out my hands.
"What's there to be nervous about? You guys have already hooked up. It's not like you don't know if he likes you or not." He grabs a small pillow and tosses it at my head. I turn at the perfect moment and it bounces off my forehead. We both laugh and then I scoop it up and whiz it back in his direction. "Easy. I'm trying to help and you're trying to take my head off.
"It's like I'm all bottled up. It makes me want to crawl out of my skin." I turn and head back towards the front door. When the doorbell rings I startle.
I hear Rhett say under his breath, "I'm sure he's eager to help you out with that." I roll my eyes even though he can't see me. Rhett and I had been in a relationship for a year when we were in the crash. We fell apart trying to heal ourselves and when the dust had settled, we just weren't the same people that had gotten into that car. It took a while to find each other as friends again, but we pulled through. I'm amazed at how far we've come. It doesn't hurt me to see him bring girls home anymore, and he's never been bothered by anyone I've brought around. Then again, I haven't really brought anyone around. Usually I make sure to spend my time with men outside this apartment. Our worlds colliding at the bar was an accident.
"You alright?" I ask him over my shoulder with my hand on the knob. I need things to be good between us. I need to know he's OK with me dating someone else in front of him. It's the first time we've been at this crossroads.
"Cheese and crackers, open the bloody door." He flicks his hand in my direction and then stands so he can leave the room.
"Rhett," I start, but he doesn't let me finish.
"It stings. It's hard to see you with someone else."
"You know I've seen other men," I protest.
"They didn't hurt." He shrugs one shoulder and then looks away before returning his eyes to mine. "You didn't care about them." He points to the door as if he can see through it. "You care about HIM."
"I...."
"Just open the door and let him in, Ash." He looks defeated, but not angry. I wait another second, debating what would be the best move for our friendship and what that might mean for Mateo and I. I stare at Rhett, but my hand turns the knob because while I love Rhett dearly, I'm not in love with him anymore. His lip pinch together and he gives me a small nod before turning and heading for his bedroom without another word.
"Hi, sunshine." Mateo stands on my porch, a bouquet of fresh sunflowers in his hand.
"Hi." I say as he hands them to me. He got a hair cut, but he kept his beard. It's trimmed and I realize that I would be disappointed if he had shaved it for tonight. It's a part of him that I've grown to love. "I'll just put these in some water. Come inside." I open the door wider and motion for him to enter. He looks down the hall just as I hear Rhett's door close. The sound is crisp and carries down the hall, standing out against the quiet of the living room. Mateo looks at me as if he could tell something big just happened and all I can do is shrug my shoulders. I don't know how to tell him that the door being closed down the hall is a physical representation of Rhett emotionally shutting me out.