Chapter Fourteen : Playboy
Shawn Kents
"How do you think it's going?" Kayla asked me on the phone, probably referring to Travis. I'm so nervous for him, I want it to go as smooth as possible but there are too many outcomes and possibilities.
"I honestly don't know. I'm just proud that he's actually doing it and sticking to his word." I said, playing with the things on my dresser as I roamed my bedroom endlessly.
I never understood why I did that.
"Bitch, he's been trying to get you to love him the same way he loves you. That's why he's doing it."
"I do love him." I said strongly, almost offended that she would imply that I wasn't. "But I do love Damon too, so it's hard to give one boy my full attention when the other is asking for the same."
"Exactly!" She yelled, "You dont love Travis as much as he loves you. Shawn you got that boy sprung! He came out for you and everything but you still talking about how much you love Damon." I listened to her words closely. This is why she was my bestfriend. Because she knew when I was right and when I was wrong and wasn't afraid to speak her mind to me. I loved her for that.
"So what you're saying is, I should break up with Damon the same way I did last time?"
"Yep." She said, not even realizing she contradicted herself.
"But when I did it last time, you threw a whole fit. You were madder than he was." I chuckled cause the bitch really is bipolar.
"Well I changed my mind." She scoffed back at me, "But bitch I don't know what it is but my stomach is killing me. Feels like I gotta throw up."
"Ew. Make sure you aren't pregnant." My phone started vibrating again as I was getting another call.
"Don't say that!" She yelled, "Knock on wood, knock on wood, knock on wood!" She yelled again frantically before I switched the call to Travis.
"Hello?" I said, clearing my throat to make sure he heard me.
"Wassup Baby." He sounded off in the phone, more enthusiastic then I thought he'd be. Hopefully that means everything went well for him.
"Wassup? How was it?"
"It was Aight." He laughed, "My little brother said he already knew about us, So I'm not to sure how to feel about that," he chuckled again, "My Mama wanted you to come over for dinner though."
"Awee, that's sweet. I would love to meet her." I said before randomly getting a text from Bryson. I put Travis on speaker so I could read it.
Bryson :
" I miss you 😩😚 "
I looked at the picture. Even though it was cute, I shook my head and turned the speaker off my phone, returning my phone to my ear.
"She said she wanted to meet the boy who got her 'little baby' sprung." He said, laughing over the phone making me smile as if he could see me.
"I do not have you sprung boy." I laughed rolling my eyes.
"You do though. You're fucking perfect."
I laughed again, "Shut up." I said, becoming embarassed by his nice comments.
"Make me baby." He said smooth, his voice suddenly becoming erotic like that turned me on a little bit.
"Im on my way."
-°•○▪
He walked down the porch and met me at the sidewalk, remaining quiet as he smiled and wrapped me in his arms.
He kissed me on my cheek and rested his chin on my shoulder. "I missed you." He said, his words muffled by my shirt. As always, his favorite cologne eased off his body and into my nose.
"I missed you too." I replied to him after he released me.
-
"Give me your plate bae."
I took a deep sigh and relaxed in the chair I was in. I started to think about how great this could be if it was regular Friday or Sunday night thing. How me and Travis could have this perfect little family like he wanted. I think I want to give him that.
I saw Travis' phone light up on the table. I guess he hadn't realized he left it. I picked it up and looked at the screen to see a re-tweet alert notification. I thought nothing of it but his phone had caught my attention now.
His phone had a lock on it like always but I knew the password : 11 04 15 , the day me and Travis made it official that we were dating but I guess it wouldn't really be official since he didn't come out of the closet til today.
Once the phone unlocked, the first thing that entered my mind was to go through his messages. But Where's the trust in that ? I know he couldn't possibly be talking to anybody but me.
But I also really want to mettle.
I placed my finger over the messages icon and looked away from the phone that way if I just so happened to click it, I could say it wasn't my fault.
I pressed down on the phone and turned my face to look at the screen.
The first name to pop up was mine. Making me more happy than anything. Seeing names like Corey and Zeek didnt phase me as they sounded like names of friends.
I took a deep breathe and relaxed, losing my anxiety. I really got to stop blaming and accusing him of things. It's just my trust has been broken way too many times.
I decided to continue to play on his phone since I already had it in my hand.
Clicking on the camera icon, I prepped my face for a mini photoshoot.
After taking multiple selfies, I went to the gallery to see what I looked like in the worst pictures ever. Only two decent ones came out of the four pictures in total.
I kept scrolling through Travis' photo gallery only to come across the most heartbreaking shit I had ever seen. I zoomed in on the picture to reassure myself that my eyes weren't deceiving me.
A picture of Damon getting his dick sucked lit the screen of Travis's phone.
I didn't know what to feel or what to think. I guess when you get your heart broken so many times, you start to get used to it. I sunk in my seat.
Why would he, not only have the picture in his phone, but not tell me about it either. It's been a whole week since we've been back.
"Aye babe have you seen my - " Travis said from the kitchen and walked in to see me on his phone. I'm assuming is what he's looking for, " Oh, you had it."
I didn't respond to him. I left his phone in the air as it hung loosely from my hand as if I were going to throw it in the air.
He grabbed it and looked at it intently, coming to a brief moment of understanding before looking back at me.
He scratched his head and sighed, "Shawn let me -"
"Why would you keep that from me?" I cut him off as the tapping of my leg sped up, making my entire body shake.
I felt a tear sneak its way out of my eye as he opened his mouth to speak to me but nothing came out.
"How long did you plan to keep it from me?"
Another tear with no answer. No reason to be there. Just like me.
I sighed heavily. The lump in my throat carried the weight of boulders. Seems like Im just surrounded by boys who don't love me. I'm so tired of feeling this way.
Sighing and wiping the two tears I allowed to escape from my face, I grabbed my phone and made my way toward the door.
I heard Travis smack his lips together and groan behind me, "Shawn where are you going!?" He said following me.
"Home."
I quickly opened the door, not giving him a chance to touch me and convince me to stay. At this point there was no reason to stay, 'cause I didnt know who I could give my love to anymore.
I got past the porch and onto the sidewalk thinking that I had avoided him til I felt a hand grab me and force me around to look at Travis. Not even realizing my eyes were watery again until my vision blurred.
"Come here!" He said as he had pulled me around.
"I'm so tired of you running from me!" He furrowed his eyebrows with his intense gaze. "That nigga dont give a fuck about you at all and Im just sitting here, looking stupid waiting on you to love me again!"
I looked at him as he held me and shouted all his feelings and frustrations to me. This would be the first time I've heard him talk to me this passionately.
My facial expression remained the same as he talked to me.
His speech did not move my spirit in the least. They did neither hurt nor healed my broken heart.
"Fuck!" He yelled, letting me go and wiping his eyes, trying to somehow sniff them back in his eye lids. I hadn't realized he was actually crying; still I felt nothing.
"I hate letting you get me like this. Who wants a tender ass nigga for a boyfriend?"
-
7 Missed calls from : Travis 😍
"When are you gonna answer that phone ? Quit giving that boy the run-around and give him some attention. He's obviously trying." Momma said, helping pack my things back up.
" Whenever I feel like it." I said simply.
I heard a knock on my door, followed by the small creeking noise it does whenever someone opens it.
Breon's head peaked in, locking eyes with me first. "Wassup Shawn." He said, throwing his eyes towards Ma , "Hey Ms. Kents" .
"Breon, I told you, you can call me Rochelle."
He chuckled afterwards, showing a smile that couldve only come from my Dad since it reminded me of me a little bit, "You mind if I talk to Shawn for a little bit?"
"Of-- course." She said, struggling to close my douffle bag since she so elegantly fucked my organization up.
She left the room and Breon shut it behind him. Walking in with no shirt on, I guess hes already gotten comfortable yet I haven't gotten used to him yet. He's a pretty decent guy I would say though. I havent experienced any of the territorial shennanigans that come with having a long lost brother. Or just a brother in general. Especially with him being the oldest.
He took a seat on my bed and looked at me.
"Whats up Bro!? Excited to go back ?"
My eyes remained focused on my bag. Answering him with a sly shrug.
"Aye, Am I the only one around here happy that I got a brother ?" He said smiling. I guess this was his way of trying to make me smile.
At least somebodies trying.
I sighed, knowing I shouldn't be so mean to him. "No, Im happy too Breon. Im just ready to leave."
"Look lil bro, I know I dont know much about you, but it sounds like you're at a road block and you're not sure how to get out of it." He said though I knew that he couldn't possibly know what he's really talking about.
"It'll be alright," he said smiling, leaning over to rub and pat my back, "You just gotta decide what you want for yourself in life. Its time to start thinking about Shawn."
He got up, leaving my room empty and by myself.
Alone with my thoughts and reckless emotions.