Niall's POV
It had been nearly a month since Carter and I had 'moved in' with Liam and Louis. I wished that I didn't have to rely on them so much but I didn't know what else to do. I felt like I couldn't go back to my house. I really didn't want to go back there.
I had kind of been avoiding Liam since our conversation. I understood that Harry was his best friend and I didn't expect him to be negative towards him, but I was a little annoyed that he expected me to forgive him because he apparently didn't mean to hurt me.
How did he expect me to react? To laugh it off and continue living my life? That wasn't how things worked. Even if he didn't mean to hurt me, he did, and I wasn't going to sit here and pretend that everything was fine.
Liam seemed to realise I was making an effort to stay away from him, so he spent a lot of time out of the house.
He had been acting rather weird. In a way, he was kind of distant from everyone and would always be on his phone. What I realised was that I was rather good at reading people through their eyes. I wasn't sure if it was because I had dated someone who closed himself off more than half the time or not but I knew that something was going on.
~
I woke up the next morning feeling horrible. I was covered in cold sweat and I felt like I was going to throw up. It kind of felt like I was-- no. That was impossible.
Regardless, I quickly got out of the bed and rushed into the bathroom, emptying the contents of my stomach into the toilet.
After spending about ten minutes crouched on the floor while shaking violently, I stood up and brushed my teeth. Although I now knew that pregnancy was normal for me, I didn't want to let it be a possibility. It couldn't be one.
I put an oversized hoodie on and headed into the kitchen, seeing Louis making Carter breakfast.
"Morning, mummy," he said, rushing over and hugging my legs tightly.
I couldn't help but let a smile take over my features as I stared down at the boy.
"Good morning, baby," I leaned down and kissed the top of his head, before looking back to Louis, who was staring at the two of us with a fond expression.
"Are you okay, Niall? You look like you haven't slept in weeks," he asked, frowning when he noticed the state I was in.
"I'm fine. A little nauseous but it doesn't matter," I shrugged, grabbing the plate of pancakes and cutting them into small pieces before giving them to Carter.
Louis gave me a look that suggested he knew it was more serious than nausea and I felt like he knew exactly what I was fearing.
"You're not--"
"Not here," I whisper shouted, glancing at Carter, who was no longer paying attention to either of us and was more focused on the pancakes in front of him.
Louis seemed to understand, as he closed his mouth but gave me a look that suggested we were going to speak about it later. I knew there wasn't going to be a way to avoid it.
~
Once Louis and I were alone, he gently pushed me onto the couch and looked at me a gentle, yet still firm expression.
"Are you pregnant?" he finally asked.
I let out a sigh, breaking our eye contact to gaze at the wooden floor.
"I don't know, Lou. As much as I love being a parent, I don't want another one. I don't even fucking know where Harry is. I'm not pregnant, I'm just sick," I muttered, feeling tears form in the corners of my eyes.
"Ni, I know that it's hard for you but it's definitely a possibility. When was the last time you and Harry had sex?" he asked, his tone incredibly blunt, leaving me no room to feel embarrassed about what he had just asked me.
"I don't remember," I murmured, tearing my eyes away from him and biting my lip.
"Yes, you do," he replied and I looked back at him to see that he had raised an eyebrow.
"The night before he left," I eventually let out, feeling the tears begin to actually fall.
"I'm going to get you a test. I'll be back soon," he said, heading out of the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
~
"Lou," I sobbed, rushing out of the bathroom and hugging Louis, who was shocked at the sudden force but hugged me back regardless.
He led me over to the couch and sat us both down, his grip seeming to tighten around my waist as my cries got louder.
"I-It's positive, Lou. Why did this have to happen?" I let out, my voice almost inaudible due to the way I was crying.
"Shh, Ni. It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay, I'm here for you."
I knew that I had Louis to count on but I wasn't sure at that exact moment if that was enough. Louis could never be there for me the way Harry would have been but the difference was that Louis was still there.
"Promise?" I asked him, wiping a few tears away.
"Of course. Whatever happens, I'll be right there beside you, just like before," he smiled reassuringly.
Harry's POV
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" Liam asked, giving me an unsure glance.
"I'll be fine. I don't need you to stay here and baby me," I replied softly.
"Okay," he mumbled, pulling me tightly into his arms. "I'll call you when I get back home. Please answer it, okay?"
"Liam, I'll be fine. Stop worrying about me. I can take care of myself," I said, smiling at him softly.
"Doubtful," Gemma murmured sarcastically from where she was standing, causing me to look over and send her a displeased look, before looking back at Liam.
"Alright, I'm going now. I love you," he said softly.
"I love you too," I breathed out.
He hugged me again, before pulling away.
"Take care of Niall for me. The last thing I want is for him to be upset about this and if he's mad at me, let him. I deserve it. And take care of Carter," I told him.
"I'll take care of them if you take care of yourself, okay?" he asked, making me nod.
~
A couple of weeks after I had gone to Gemma's was when I began to question whether I did the right thing. Deep down I knew that I only left to protect him and it was for the best, but there was that voice at the back of my head that was telling me to go back.
What if I was wrong for doing that? Maybe I should have stayed and talked to Niall about it.
Maybe running off wasn't the answer.
I knew it was but there was a part of me that couldn't accept what I had done. Even if I wanted to go back home, I knew that I couldn't. Niall probably hated me. I would be extremely surprised if he didn't. I had done the one thing I promised not to do; hurt him. Although it was unintentional, I still did it, and it was one of the things that I would regret for the rest of my life.
I was also kind of glad Niall may never see me again. I didn't want him to see me so weak and pathetic, I was happy that he never found out just how damaged I really was.
I just hoped Liam would make sure Niall was okay. I knew that Niall was strong, and that he didn't need me to be happy, but I just wanted to make sure.
Niall's POV
I had been calling in sick from work for three days after I had found out I was pregnant, staying locked in my room for most of that time, barely coming out for food. Louis would come and try to get me to come out around every hour or so but I would always tell him to leave me alone.
I had barely eaten that week, I was feeling way too exhausted to even think of consuming food. I wasn't even sure if I was hungry or not and the small amount of food that I had eaten, I had thrown it up.
Since I had experienced this before, I was rather used to the side effects. This time felt so much worse than what I remembered. I threw up a lot more often, as if all of my stress had impacted my physical health.
I could barely function. Waking up every morning resulted in rushing to the bathroom and the entire day would bring random bursts of nausea that also often resulted in vomit.
Basically, everything was falling apart.
~
I let out a breath and turned over, unable to fall asleep. The room was completely dark but I felt my eyes focusing on the light coming through the crack in the curtain. I felt wide awake, but tired at the same time. Regardless of how much I seemed to sleep lately, I was still tired.
I heard the door open and shut quietly, before I felt someone get on the bed with me and pull me into their arms. I recognised Louis' small body, which made me sigh and let him hold me. I would have told him to leave, but I was tired of pushing him away.
"You're really scaring all of us," he mumbled.
"I'm sorry, Lou. I just-- I just feel so tired of everything. I feel like everything is against me and I'm getting bored of fighting it. I just want to be alone, to deal with it myself," I replied.
"I know that things seem bad, but the only person that can fix it is you. Laying around and isolating yourself isn't going to fix things, okay?" he asked.
"You're right, I'm sorry," I whispered.
"You don't need to apologise, Niall. I would have probably done the same thing."
~
I got home from work at around three thirty, the house being silent. Carter was still at kindergarten and Louis and Liam were both out somewhere.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket, seeing that the battery was rather low, which led me to go and plug it in to charge. I heard the door open and close, making me go downstairs to see that Louis had arrived.
"Hey," he smiled at me, placing a small stack of papers on the bench.
"Hey," I replied, pulling a bottle of water out of the fridge and taking a drink from it.
"How are you feeling?" he asked.
I wasn't sure if he was talking about the pregnancy, or the isolation. I supposed it was both, considering they were practically the same thing.
"Surprisingly, I actually feel good," I admitted. His advice was actually beneficial, leaving the house and living my life made things so much easier. I was no longer feeling so sorry for myself.
"That's good," Louis said honestly, offering me a reassuring smile that I was so used to receiving from him.
"Well, I'm going to pick up Carter from kindergarten. I'll be back later," I said, watching him nod before exiting the house.
~
"Hi, mummy," Carter said once he saw me enter the room. He had abandoned the stuffed toys that he was previously playing with in favour of rushing towards me.
"Hey, Carter," I leaned down to kiss him, before taking his hand and leading him outside, passing the other parents who were picking up their children.
"Did you have fun today?" I asked him as I opened the car and put him in his seat.
"Yeah," he mumbled tiredly. It wasn't uncommon for him to get tired at around this time. He would often over-exert himself and refused to sleep anywhere that wasn't with his family. So he usually fell asleep after kindergarten.
The radio was playing quietly and was the only distraction from everything else. Much like Carter, I was exhausted. I had forgotten how detrimental pregnancy was to my sleep and regardless of how much better I felt from leaving my room, I still felt the effects of my depleted energy.
Once we arrived at Liam and Louis' house, I carried Carter inside, hearing Liam and Louis in the middle of some sort of argument. With Liam and Louis having such different personalities, their fights weren't rare. I wasn't too concerned, the two of them never had anything too serious to fight about and it was generally over after an hour at most.
I put Carter down on the bed, hoping that he would be able to sleep through the noise. I was just going to wait in the room until Liam and Louis sorted their shit out, until I heard my name being mentioned.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Liam?! You lied. How do you think Niall will feel if he found out what you did?!" Louis hissed.
"Look, I know that what I did was wrong but I had to talk to him. He's my best friend, Louis. You would do the exact same as me if it were you and Niall in this situation," Liam replied.
I knew instantly that they were talking about Harry.
"I don't give a shit about what happened. He hurt Niall. He doesn't deserve my sympathy," I heard Louis say.
"He doesn't want your sympathy. He just wants you to understand that he never meant to hurt Niall," Liam responded calmly.
"Whatever. I don't care about what he's doing but you need to tell Niall about this," Louis snapped.
I deemed this a good time to enter and upon the room. I saw Liam sat at the table and Louis standing a small distance away, seeming torn between yelling at Liam some more, or crying.
"You didn't hear that, did you?" Liam asked.
"I heard a little bit," I admitted.
"You might want to sit down," he said, letting out a sigh.
I nodded and dropped onto the seat opposite him, giving Louis a look to sit down as well. Louis sighed, moving over and sinking into the chair beside me, eyes avoiding Liam.
"So, I told you guys that I was going to visit my family but I was actually going to visit Harry."
"I figured that much," I said, trying not to show my annoyance.
"He texted me when he left. He told me that he left but didn't give much away. I asked his mother about where he could have gone and left as soon as I could. I thought something bad happened to him and I had to go find out."
I wasn't even surprised that he told Liam over me, it seemed like that happened a lot.
"And what? Is that when he told you that I wasn't good enough or something?" I asked bitterly.
"Of course he didn't. Believe me, I was just as angry as you when I found out he left but he told me why he did it. He had absolutely no intention of hurting you and he would have stayed if he had the choice."
"Then why did he do it?"
"Harry's a secretive person and sometimes he does things without really thinking of the consequences, but he always has a reason behind it. It's not my place to tell you why he left but you have to know that he would never intentionally do something to hurt you."
I turned to Louis, who was still silent. "You knew about this?" I asked him.
"Not until today. He told me when he got home. I would have told you if I knew," he replied.
My gaze turned back to Liam, who was looking back at me with a guilty expression. "I want to see him," I said, giving him a firm look.
"Niall, I really don't think that's a good idea," he replied hesitantly.
"I don't give a fuck. I was there for him, I deserve to know what's going on. Why he decided to just up and leave me like I mean nothing," I hissed.
"That's really not a good idea, Niall. It's not safe."
"It doesn't fucking matter. I want to know what's going on and if you can't tell me then I need to find it out from Harry himself," I said.
"He's going to kill me for this," he murmured to himself, before looking back up at me. "Okay, fine, I'll take you to see him."