12. Arya
"Right, my name is Arya. I'm sixteen years old and a student at Westview high school. I don't really have any working experience if I'm being honest but I do a bit of painting and drawing in my spare time... so... I guess, I have a bit of experience that way?"
The words stumble clumsily from my mouth as I try to answer the oh-so dreaded request to talk a little bit about myself. I try to smile but the muscles in my jaw quiver with anxiety.
I've never been good at talking about myself. Especially not when it comes to interview type situations where you have to make a good impression.
"Sounds good so far," the young female owner of the art store downtown looks down at the clipboard in her lap. "You'll be behind the cash register most of the time but I'll show you how to do that. Doesn't take long to figure out."
She actually manages to smile, easing a bit of my nervousness. She puts her clipboard down on the small table in front of her and leans back in her seat. "Do you have any of your work on you?"
Immediately my mind goes to the notebook in my backpack but I can't show her that. It's like a diary... an illustrated one. It holds every single personal thought, dream, fear. None of those I want exposed to my possible future boss.
I cringe remembering one page in particular and then Seth's face upon seeing it.
"No, not really but if you give me a pen and some paper, I could draw you something." Wow, that didn't sound desperate at all!
"Oh, that's not necessary. I believe you. You see, here's the thing. We're kinda desperate for some fresh air in here and we really need the help. Nobody has come in for the job so far..." She rips the sheet of paper off the clipboard with a grin on her face. "Congratulations, Arya. You've got the job. You will be stacking the shelves, work behind the cash register and give advice to customers. I know, this is a bit much to take in but we'll take it one step at a time."
She hoists herself out of her chair and I do the same. When she offers me her hand I manage an earnest smile.
"My name's Mel. When do you want to start?"
"I can start whenever you need me to." I answer shaking her hand.
"Great. Then you're starting now."
"SAM! I'M HOME," I call as I burst through the kitchen door where I find Sam in front of the stove, making dinner. My stomach rumbles when the smell of something delicious hits me. "Please tell me I'm not dreaming! Please tell me that this actually isn't chicken and steamed vegetables for once! Good God!"
Sam turns towards me, glaring.
"You make me sound like some sort of monster who constantly tries to starve you."
"Well, aren't you?" I walk up behind him, trying to get a glimpse of the food he's preparing.
"Oh come on, I'm not that bad! I'm just trying to-"
"So, my job interview went great," I change the subject as I know what's coming. Sam has been trying to get me to lose weight. It's obvious. Even if he's not saying it out loud, I can see what he's doing. He has been cooking nothing but vegetables and protein rich foods and it's really starting to piss me off. If I want to change my body, I'm going to do just that. I don't need him to passively try to brainwash me into changing my ways.
"Oh yeah?"
"Yep. They hired me right off the bat. Didn't even really have to say a lot and Mel showed me everything I need to know to start working tomorrow. Mel's the store owner." I grin at him as he scoops prawns and some kind of sauce onto a plate of pasta. He puts the plate in front of me and gets himself some.
That looks delicious! And the smell! Hmm...
"That's great, Arya. I know you've been wanting to get a job..." he doesn't make eye contact and I realize that something is actually off about him.
"What's wrong, Sam?" I dig into the pasta dish hoping to make the situation less awkward.
Instead of answering Sam stays silent and starts playing with his food. What the heck is wrong with him? I've never seen him like this before. Angry, annoyed, agitated; yes, that's something I see very often. But... depressed? No, definitely not.
I open my mouth to say something but before I can, he pushes his plate away from him and gets up. He just stands there, staring down at me with furrowed brows and jaw clenched.
"You know, you can talk to me, right? I can handle it." Sam sighs heavily as I put another fork full of pasta into my mouth. He sits back in his seat and rubs his hands over his face, smoothing out the tension in his muscles.
Whatever it is that's bothering him: it's bad.
"Not about this." His hands fall down to his sides and he gives me a tired, wry smile. "And I really don't want to talk about it anyway. I'll be fine. You just worry about your own... stuff. What ever happened to Seth after you talked to him anyway? Did he bother you today?"
My stomach drops immediately and once again I feel like I'd rather put my head in the sand than talk about Seth. Why does Sam have to bring him up? Isn't there anyone else to change the subject to? For some reason, whenever Seth is mentioned, my whole body tenses up and I feel like I'm on a roller-coaster, just about to drop. My breathing picks up, my heart rate goes crazy and I start sweating. He isn't even around. Just his name does this to me. I don't know if it's fear or hatred but he really shouldn't affect me like this. I need to realize that he's nothing but a bother in my life and that I will eventually have to get over him and his big head.
I have to focus on my grades and college. Seth is just a distraction. I can't let him affect me.
"Hello? Earth to Arya," Sam calls, chucking a prawn at my face with his fork.
I shriek and wipe the sauce the prawn left on my cheek off before giving him a deathly glare.
"Nothing happened with Seth." I grumble, tucking into my food again.
"Doesn't sound like nothing." Sam checks his phone but drops the conversation as he gets up. "Finish your food and try to not stay inside the house all day. I'm meeting up with Niall and Kev."
A sound of annoyance comes from my throat and Sam chuckles to himself as he grabs his keys and flees the house, leaving me behind. This guy is a master of distraction and disappearance. I still don't know what was bothering him just minutes ago.
Now, any normal teenager would take the opportunity of an empty house to invite their friends over to spend the evening with them. Maybe watch a movie, make use of the pool in the backyard that has not been used in ages...
Not me.
I will take this opportunity to catch up on school stuff and maybe surf the internet. That's about as exciting as it's going to get.
After having done the dishes, cleaned my room and finished every last bit of homework, I plop down in the spinny chair in front of my desk. The laptop lights up as I press the ON button. I don't expect much from this venture into the depth of the internet but at least I will be able to get my mind off of how pathetic my life is for just a few minutes.
My fingers fly over the keys as I type in the first thing I can think of.
Facebook.com
Now this should be fun, considering that Sam is my only friend on this. I've recently joined a few groups but usually don't interact with any of them. But you never know what might happen.
I am secretly expecting a friend request from someone from school as I struggle to remember my password. After a few failed attempts, I remember the number combination and log into the account. As soon as the front page of the social networking site pops up, I am surprised to find four new friend requests. My heart flutters slightly.
I'm almost anxious to look at who's trying to add me. I want to drag out the experience but curiosity gets the better of me and I click onto the red symbol, opening a new tab with the people trying to add me.
Mina Cameron, Tina Cameron, Tamara Hiddleston and finally Ethan Hunter.
I accept the first three with a smile on my face, remembering Sam's friends. I hesitate at the last friend request. Ethan. The guy from school today. The one that had seen me with Seth and that had tried to defend me. He had actually helped me and in the moment I couldn't believe it. He probably feels sorry for me. I don't really know the guy at all so why should I add him? I've attended all the necessary 'stranger danger' school talks to know that I shouldn't add him.
I do it anyway.
Considering that he had the decency to defend a complete stranger (a complete stranger that looks like me) in public says a lot about him. He doesn't seem to care about possibly ruining his reputation. Whatever reputation he has. Seth recognized him...
Ethan could potentially become a friend and that's exactly what I need to stop being so scared of social contact.
Hi there!
The chat pops up at the bottom of the screen just as I am about to sign off and close the tab. Of course it's Ethan. My fingers start shaking slightly as I prepare to say something back.
Hi
That's all I manage. No smiley face, no punctuation.
I hate this facebook thing. What are you doing right now?
Then why are you on it?!
Nothing
Cool beans! Gimme your address and I'll pick you up asap.
Before I can even think of the possibility of him being a sociopathic serial killer, I type my address into the little chat box. I immediately sign off and shut my laptop. Panic rushes through me as I run for the next mirror. My hair is looking a bit messy but I don't mind that, run a brush through it a few times and leave it that way. I'm still wearing school clothes. Comfortable but not overly dressy.
"Take a breath, Arya. It's not like he's asking you out on a date," I whisper to myself, eyeing my reflection in the mirror.
Hopefully Ethan really is the type of guy I take him for and not just playing me. God, that would suck. I really just need a friend and not someone to drag me down again. I've had more than enough of this social inequity. Seriously! I need to get over myself and make some real friendships. Something or rather someone to spend time with instead of just wasting it by myself.
When the doorbell rings, a shiver goes through my body. He's really here! I grab my phone and keys and run for the front door. As I stand in front of the door, I smooth down my hair once more and catch my ragged breath.
"That was quick," I comment as I pull open the front door, smiling.
The first thing I notice about Ethan is that he is still wearing the same clothes he did a few hours before when I first met him which makes me feel a bit better about my own appearance. His gaze stays transfixed on my face, though, never wandering downwards. This gives me an immediate good feeling about him.
"I actually only live a few streets down so it didn't take too long to find your house." He turns and waves me out of the house. I shut the front door behind me, locking it before walking down the driveway.
"You've only recently moved here, haven't you?" He calls out to me.
"Yup. I moved in with my cousin a few weeks ago."
"May I ask why?" His tone is careful as we walk down the street, away from what I assume to be his car in our driveway.
I haven't lived here long but I know we're heading for the park.
I look at his profile curiously as no one has asked me about that yet. "I don't really talk about it."
"That's cool." He smiles at me, his eyes understanding. "We don't really know each other that well, right?" I look up at him as he is much taller than me but he just stares straight ahead with a little smirk on his face.
"So how come you just gave me your address like that? Just a couple hours ago you didn't seem keen to even talk to me let alone meet up with me."
I think about this for a couple second. Had I been rude? I hadn't noticed at all as I was too busy concentrating on Seth. I had noticed him hiding behind the lockers to watch us just after I had bumped into Ethan.
"I'm sorry."
"Nothing to be sorry for. Hey, do you wanna go on the swings?" Ethan laughs as we reach the park and I nod even though that's the last thing I want to do. I would rather just sit on one of the park benches and stay as far away from swings, slides or see-saws as possible. These things are build for tiny children, skinny high-schoolers and the likes... definitely not for girls like me.
Nonetheless we walk towards the swings. I hold my breath when I sit down on one of the swings.
Ethan quickly launches himself onto the board of hard plastic and starts swinging his legs back and forth. My fingers wrap carefully around the ropes. The ropes immediately dig into the sides of my thighs and I have to do my best to pretend like I'm comfortable. My legs barely move back and forth and the minimal effort I put into moving catches Ethan's attention. Stupid swings...
Ethan stops and frowns at me, "You're not a swings person, are you?"
"Not really," I mutter with a frown.
"You should have said something," Ethan says matter-of-factly, grinning. He hops off the swings, pulling me after him by my elbow, "Let's just keep walking around."
And that's what we do. Ethan shows me around the park and tells me multiple crazy stories about it. Up until now I hadn't known how many stories could be told about a simple park but apparently Ethan had a very different idea about it. I feel like he's been the one doing the talking and I've been the one doing all the listening. This is exactly what I need right now. It's comfortable listening to him. He almost doesn't feel like a stranger because he doesn't treat me like one. Ethan has a way about him that makes you feel like you've known him forever.
"And this is the lake," Ethan pulls a disgusted face and makes air quotes with his fingers. "This is where all the cool kids get wasted on the weekends."
"And how do you know that?" I finally get a word in as I remember that Seth had told me about this lake before. Well, he didn't exactly tell me about it. I'm pretty sure his invitation to come to the gathering at the lake had been a practical joke...
Ethan clears his throat and the look on his face suddenly becomes cloudy.
"I used to be young and stupid and I thought that being part of the popular kids is the thing to do. So that's what I did. Took me a few months to realize that these kids were just using me because I have older brothers who could get us alcohol. That's what they do, you know?"
"Sounds like just my kind of people," I say sarcastically and he agrees with a grim nod. I let my eyes wander over the lake. It is now dark enough to see the moons reflection on the black, calm water. "Let's go down there?"
"Sure." Ethan's voice is barely a whisper as he grabs onto my hand and leads me down to the edge of the water.
Suddenly I am hyper aware of myself. Ethan's skin is hot against mine and I worry what I look like to him. I really shouldn't but I can't help myself. I wonder if when he looks at me, he sees just another fat girl with frizzy hair or if he actually just sees a person. The fact that he's spending time with me means that he doesn't think I'm some sort of disgrace to the world. That's a start, right?
"That's sick," Ethan suddenly comments.
"Huh?" I'm lost and turn to him, pulling my gaze from the beauty of the lake.
"Look." He turns me around and lets go of my hand to point ahead of us. I frown at the distance as I can't make out anything 'sick'. "It's our favorite person. Seth."
"Are you serious?" My breath catches in my throat.
"Yeah. He's coming towards us too... with some kid."
Paulina.
"Now, I knew he is kind of creepy but going for small girls is just... sick." He snorts but I can barely hear what he's saying now as my own blood is pounding in my ears.