I awoke to the lapping of water around my body, my muscles sore and stiff from lying in a single position. When I opened my eyes I saw Hayes standing above me, his expression unreadable. "Get up" he said, making me realize that I was no longer bound to the foot of the tub. But that didn't make it any simpler of a request. I was fatigued, with a dull ache that ran deep into my bones making pushing myself into an upright position extremely tiresome. I did it with a semblance of ease however, masking my pain with a smirk. Luckily for me it was one of the few expressions I had mastered in even the most stressful of situations.
Although preparing for a prosecutor's questions, or a police interrogation was nothing like this. What I had just endured made me think back to the methods terrorist organizations would use on their prisoners. They would place wet cloths over their mouths pouring water over top. Very similar to the drowning they had done to me. I bet my Dad had knowledge of their doings here, even my Mom must have had an idea, after all it was her contact that lead me here.
They had to have known, and yet they let me go anyways. They let them do this to me, all so I could go back to being their perfect son. All golden haired and blue eyed, like your typical child prodigy. The hate I had started growing for them was surprising, I had to remind myself that hate only ever comes from love, and that my bitterness was a result of my feelings of betrayal.
After I had risen to my feet Hayes began to lead me out of the bathroom. I was still naked, and he hadn't yet offered me any clothes. My body dripped onto the hardwood as shivers wracked my body. It was cold with nothing to block the air from touching my damp flesh, combined with lack of sleep, I found myself feeling vulnerable and weak, which was precisely how they wanted me to feel. With my defenses down it would be easier for them to break through.
"Today you will be analyzed, to see how far the sickness has spread" He stated, opening a solid oak door. The room I was forced into resembled a modern hospital with a strong smell of antiseptic and a very white and minimalistic design.
There was however a chair, and attached to that chair were various sorts of wires and monitoring devices in front of which was a television set, one of the ones that only had a VCR player.
Once lead into the room, Hayes left turning efficiently around and shutting the door. It was then that I noticed I wasn't alone. In front of a computer was a young woman, I estimated her age to be twenty five. She had long brown hair in a ponytail and wore red lipstick. You could tell that she had dressed up for the occasion as if even the most beautiful woman could tempt me. I still longed for Mason's lips, his strong muscular chest...I desperately craved the feeling of his morning stubble as it grazed along my cheek. These were not the thoughts I should be thinking in such a place, but I thought them anyways.
"Alright Mr. Jane, we are going to begin by attaching these wires to you. They will monitor your blood pressure and heart rate. They can also emit a minor electrical shock, which can be, and will be increased as the test progresses." she announced smiling. I stared at her, watching as she attached everything to me, hooking me up to her system like some laboratory experiment.
I had never before felt fear, not even when the jury was deliberating. It had always seemed to me a petty emotion, but right now I was terrified. I had none of my usual defenses and here it didn't really matter who I was, all that mattered was what and I couldn't hide it anymore, and even if I tried there was no guarantee that it would make any of this stop. Apparently all the stories I heard on the chat rooms were correct.
There was a tenth circle of Hell, and it was right here.
It didn't take long to hook me up, such efficiency comes with practice I would imagine. I shuddered to think how many others had sat in this chair. When I got out of here I would make sure that I shut down this place. No one deserved such cruel treatment even if it was done to supposedly help them.
"Okay, Mr. Jane. I want you to focus on the screen." she began flicking her systems on "There will be a slide show of various pictures, I want you to look and tell me the first word that comes to mind, understood?" I nodded.
The television came to life then, at first it was only a blank screen but after a few moments there was a picture. It was a young teenage boy, around fifteen holding a baseball bat. "Young" I said, stating the obvious. The next picture was of a busty brunette in a bikini with a large amount of cleavage licking a Popsicle. It was meant to be suggestive, it was meant to turn me on, but it didn't.
"Boobs" I said. The woman smiled as she made notes on what I said. The following picture was the male version of the first. A broad, tanned, muscular chest with short black hair and emerald green eyes. A come hither smile that triggered the tiniest of responses in my hormones.
"Hot" I stated absently, still looking at the photo.
And so it went on and on and on, with picture after picture. Not all were pornographic and not all were male. My answers also varied from obvious remarks, to most noticeable features, items that had been included in the picture, things the pictures reminded me of, and on occasion a comment about the physical appearance of the person. Fuck, I mean they showed me a picture of Adam from Maroon 5....pretty close to naked, what else was I supposed to say other than "Fuck"
I would have probably said "Fuck me" had I not been limited to just one word. I think the woman knew that too because my blood pressure and heart rate spiked. I had a feeling that whatever this test was, I wasn't scoring high.
"Alright Mr. Jane. We will now move on to short video clips. You will notice that there are two buttons beside you one is green the other blue. If you like what you see press the blue button, if you have no interest in what you see press the green. Ready?" she asked, I nodded, although I really wasn't.
Again the first clip was relatively benign, it was a boys soccer game. I wanted to see how the boy would do but since I wasn't really interested I pressed the green button. A soothing warmth radiated over my body helping to ease my aching muscles. The next clip was a seventeen year old girl, I guessed, doing a cheer routine in a very skimpy outfit. I had never understood cheer leading as a sport, and immediately pressed the green button changing the screen to a clip of a college football team during practice. It was shirts versus skins, and I found myself much more invested in watching the game, reluctantly pressing the blue button. As expected there was a mild shock. Not exactly painful but noticeable.
The fourth image was of a sex scene between two woman, I paused on it caught in the irony of how this was acceptable to react to, but how two men would be viewed as filthy and disgusting. It almost made me laugh, almost, instead I pressed the green button. The following clip was the reverse, like I had predicted, with two men having sex. I'm not going to lie I did look at their bodies, and once again I thought of Mason, and I wondered how he would look completely naked, which unlike the porn caused me to get turned on. This of course sparked a much larger shock, and this time it was targeted to one particular area.
I screamed.
Luckily, that was the only clip I reacted that severely too, although there were others that spiked my interests and like she said, the shocks began to increase in amplitude as the videos progressed, but never did they get to the point of that one single shock.
Afterwards I sat in the chair panting, waiting while the woman made some more notes, eventually she turned to give me my results I presumed.
"Alright Mr. Jane, I have both good news and bad news for you" she started smiling "The good news is that you showed a lack of interest in boys who were younger than you, you also showed a lack of interest in feminine activities such as cheer leading, shopping and personal hygiene." I nodded, pleased that I wasn't living up to their stereotypes "The bad news though" she continued "Is that you showed a strong response to the male figure as well as male on male intercourse with no response towards the female body and female on female intercourse" I nodded, understanding her observations, and acknowledging their validity. "I will be submitting these results to Director Hayes for further evaluation where it will then be used to help devise a suitable course of treatment for you...you are now free to go" she added.
And as if on cue the Director himself stepped back into the room collecting the womans report while she began to detach the wires from my skin. I stood on shaky legs, and still naked, followed him out of the room.
We walked down the hall at a brisk space stopping once to finally collect some clothes for me to wear. Apparently they had been specially chosen to ensure that none of my physical features could be used to illicit unwanted reactions from the other participants. That meant that the shirt I was given was much too big, and that the bottoms were sweatpants. I was dressed like someone who was planning on going to the gym to actually lose weight rather than to impress anyone who happened to be there. I was dressed like someone who spent a great deal of time at home on their couch eating potato chips. But I still looked not half bad, considering.
"Alright, you may go back to your room and rest for a while. At around 12:00 you will be escorted to a small lunch area, after that you will participate in your first exercise" Hayes announced when we arrived at my door.
I strode confidently inside, offering a small smile as he shut the door behind me. Sitting down on the edge of my be, which now seemed to be my customary spot, I began to mull over the mention of exercises. I highly doubted that they would require much physical activity but would instead resemble the math exercises we would receive at school. But then again, in a place like this it was always best to expect the unexpected.
Joey's POV
Once my parents were sure of my desire to get 'help' they wasted no time in making the appropriate calls. They still questioned my reasons for going, believing that I was doing so in order to make them proud because I mistakenly believed that this is what they wanted me to do. I could hardly get them to shut up about how much they loved me, and how they would never dare to be ashamed of their son. I wanted to scream at them after the first few days, but at the same time I really just wanted to break down and cry. It was hard holding myself together, and harder still to pretend that this was really what I wanted.
Well, I did want to go, but I didn't want to change who I was inside, that wasn't my reason for going, and by Wednesday morning I think my Mom knew it.
She came into my room and sat down across from me on my bed. I had been at my computer furiously typing in an effort to reach some understanding about the program I had been sent to and what exactly it was that they would do there. Of course none of that would be listed on their official site so I was scrolling through the various forums, but so far I had found nothing.
"Joey" she said softly. I turned to her.
"Yes mom?"
She cleared her throat "When I called Steven, the man who helped put us in contact with the program, he mentioned having received another call from someone in the area. A Mrs. Jane." She waited, trying to gage my response. I gave her none, my face was impassive. "It just made me wonder if you knew that Colin would be attending as well"
"He might have mentioned it to me" I admitted offhandedly. But my mom wasn't fooled, she didn't have the same education as my father or as Mrs. Jane, but she wasn't stupid.
"Is it because of him that you want to go?"
I nodded. Keeping my eyes on the screen in front of me. I didn't want her to see how scared I really was.
"Mind if I ask another question?"
"Go ahead" I replied.
"Do you like who you are?" She asked. I shook my head "Oh?"
I smiled then, looking right at her as I said instead "I love it"
"Good" she replied smiling as well, before adding "Does Colin like who he is?"
I hesitated before answering "I'm not really sure...I think he's starting to"
"So it was his parents that made him go then?" I nodded. This seemed to make my mother upset, instead of sitting she was now standing, and when she looked at me again her eyes were furious. "You bring him back okay? And when you do I want you to bring him here" she stated firmly.
"He's not going home Mom, I won't let him"
She seemed pleased "I love you Joey, and despite everything, Colin is a good kid, I trust you'll keep him safe"
"I always have" I answered, watching in shocked silence as she left.
On the floor of my room were all the clothes I was debating about bringing. I didn't know how I should present myself whether I should broadcast my sexuality or subdue it. It was hard, so instead I brought the clothes that stood the least chance of being confiscated. Although I couldn't resist including a slinky thong, it would be worth it to see the faces of whoever had to take it away. There really wasn't much time left, Colin had already been there for over a day, and I was set to leave tomorrow morning. It seemed like there wasn't any rush, and my parent's kept insisting there wasn't, but every hour he spent there was killing him, every hour I wasted here at home was taking him further and further from me....from the Colin I knew.
I told my Mom that I would keep him safe, I promised myself that I would always look out for him, but right now he was entirely alone and I had no idea of what they were doing to him, which made me think that whatever it was, was too horrible to post on the Internet.
God, why couldn't today be Thursday?