Do you believe in bad luck? I do.
Broken mirrors, walking under ladders, black cats crossing the streets, seven years of bad luck, the whole shebang. I'm even surperstitious enough to knock on wood, just to try to counter-act the bad luck.
Unfortunately, not even knocking on wood is going to protect me from the bad luck that will soon follow.
From my very convenient seat in parents beat up volkswagon, I could see perfectly what was going on only a few feet away.
It was night time, and all the lights in the pizzaria were dim to create the perfect romantic setting, which of course, was fantastic if you were on a date, say, with a drop dead gorgeous blonde girl. Better known as my best friend, Jolene.
Since I had the misfortune of parking right in front of the window that the happy couple was sitting at, I could see them looking very cozy, sitting very close to each other on the same side of their booth. They were laughing and smiling and clearly having a good time without me.
Before my eyes, Kyle reached out and smoothed her hair back behind her ear. They stopped laughing, growing serious. Then he leaned across the table, and kissed her, placing one hand on cheek to hold her closer.
I couldn't stand it anymore. I honked the horn of my car loudly, making them both jump. They squinted trying to see my face through the darkness, but I refused to give them the chance to see me...atleast, see me in my car.
Turning off my car, I headed to the pizzaria feeling slight irritation flare up inside me, and before I could change my mind, I stomped over to Kyle's table.
Crossing my arms in front of my chest, I said "Kyle, you've got some serious explaining to do."
"What are you talking about?" Kyle asked, quickly recovering and putting on his best innocent look. "We were just disscussing a topic for our french project."
I raised an eyebrow. "French kissing?"
"It's not what you think, Ivy," Jolene began, standing up. But she couldn't go anywhere with Kyle blocking the only way out of the booth.
"Enlighten me."
"We were studying and then he leaned over and--"
"No, not you. Him," I said, pointing to Kyle, who looked very much like he was about to be sick. He looked absolutely terrified. And he should be. "I want to hear your take on this whole thing. As ridiculous as your excuse will be, it will definetly amuse me. So please, try to come up with something that is atleast slightly imaginative."
"Er..." he said, looking panicked. I couldn't help but be slightly amused.
Why you may ask? Because this is the part of my relationships that I usually enjoy the most. Not because I'm a sick, twisted psychopath. No, it's because it's all routine. A guy starts to show an interest me, thinking he can prove to all his friends he can 'tame' me, turn me into the perfect girlfriend.
When he starts seeing it doesn't work out, instead of being a man and dumping me, he cheats. Same old story. Wash, rinse, repeat. Snore. The only fun part of these 'relationships' is the part when they try to come up with an excuse as to why I caught them with another girl. The panicked expression in their eyes as they try to come up with something, anything at all, that would explain why they had their tongues down some other girls throat is usually extremely entertaining. Plus it made for a fun story to tell later.
"Oh, come on. You're telling me you seriously have absolutely nothing? You don't even want to try and defend why you were here kissing my best friend?" I asked in disbelief.
"I don't need to explain myself to you," he said, but it sounded weak, childlike.
"You're right, I'm not your girlfriend anymore, so feel free. Go ahead, make out with anyone you want. Have fun, hope you get mono," I said, turning to leave. I turned around and looked at Jolene, and said "By the way, doesn't kissing him feel like kissing a fish?"
The worried look on her face went away and she nodded in agreement, smiling slightly in relief. I wasn't mad at her. It wasn't her fault. She really did have a French project with him. It just so happened Kyle had set his sights on her, instead of their grade.
"Hey!" Kyle protested.
"Sorry Kyle, but it's kind of true...and I think I'm just going to work on this project alone now. It's really best for everyone. But uh...I'm going to take what we have so far, okay?" She was all apologetic smiles, and Kyle was too stunned by this double dumping he was receiving to even protest.
Jolene pushed the still stunned Kyle out of the booth so she could pass, then stood straight and smoothed her shirt. "Can I catch a ride with you?"
"Course," I said, turning around and walking away with Jolene at my heels, while Kyle just sat at the pizza booth open mouthed.
After all, chicks before dicks.
As soon as I started driving, I called my other best friend, Leena, to let her know what was going on. "Hey, Leena. Jolene and I just dumped Kyle, so we're heading over to my house. Jolene is spending the night, and so can you."
"Hell yeah!" Was her reply. "What do you mean, you and Jolene dumped Kyle?"
"Tell you later."
"Fine," she said, sounding disappointed. "Just try not to eat all the chocolate ice cream before I get there, okay?"
"I can't make any guarantee's," I said, grinning broadly.
After I hung up, I glanced at Jolene, who was sitting quietly in her seat.
"Jeez, you didn't even get dumped, why are you so mopey?" I asked.
"I just feel bad for making out with your boyfriend," she said, her voice oozing guilt.
"Boyfriend? As if," I snorted, flicking my blackhair over my shoulder. "I would never call anyone like Kyle my boyfriend. If a guy wants to be my boyfriend, he better have some major boyfriend potential or lots of brownie points. And don't feel bad; I've been meaning to dump him anyways."
Jolene giggled. "You make it sound like Boy Scouts or Day Camp, not your love life."
I rolled my eyes. "With all the losers I date? It's more like daycare."
"Hello? No one's holding you at gun point Ivy, you willingly date all those losers," she pointed out.
"Are you kidding? Being at gun point would probably be so much better than dating. Imagine the stories I could tell if I survived! Unlike when I get cheated on, the only story I have is 'Oh yeah, well, I wasn't really surprised when so and so cheated on me 'cause it happens all the time to me.' At least when they give a lame excuse it could make it a mildly funny story."
I pulled into my driveway, and Jolene rolled her eyes. "Sometimes I question your sanity," she said as she got out of the car.
"Since when was I sane enough for you to question it?" I asked, opening the front door. "Honey! I'm HOME!" I shouted to whoever was home.
"Darling! Who CARES?" Came my brother's reply.
"Oh my God! Tyler's home?!" Jolene asked excitedly. Tyler was my 'hunky' older brother. Ugh. I shudder at the thought of it. Jolene has had a crush on Tyler forever but unfortunately for her, he had a girlfriend. I didn't like her that much though, she was way too prissy. She didn't like me much either. We stayed away from each other, and spoke only when necessary.
I sighed. "Yes he is."
She pranced forward towards the living room, and I followed behind, looking down at my feet, grumbling to myself.
Because I was staring at my feet, I didn't notice Jolene had stopped suddenly right in the threshold of the living room, and I crashed right into her.
"Hey!"
"Sorry," Jolene snapped. I found the reason of her sudden stop and her change in attitude.
Kristen. Tyler's girlfriend. She was sitting in his lap, and when she saw me step around Jolene she narrowed her eyes at me. Her green eyes were cold, and she flicked her blonde hair over her shoulder.
"Hey, lil' sis," Tyler greeted me, grinning mischievously.
"Hey, stupid bro," I replied as I walked through the living room into the kitchen. I made my way straight to the freezer, taking out one of those 4 Litre buckets of chocolate ice cream. I grabbed three spoons, chocolate syrup and chocolate chips. All the essential's necessary in a break up. Chocolate was, after all, comfort food. Not that I needed much comforting, but it was a good excuse to pig out on ice cream with my friends.
"Yo, Jo. Can you give me a hand?" I asked, juggling all my junk food in my arms awkwardly as I walked into the living room. She jumped up just as Leena appeared in my living room.
"Hey? How did you get in my house?" I asked as Jolene grabbed the syrup and the chocolate chips.
"The door was unlocked," she shrugged. "So I let myself in. You know, you should really think about locking your door once in a while."
"Oh shut up and lock the door, my hands are full."
"I can see that," she said as she looked me up and down, then headed back down the hall to lock the door.
"Jeez, Ivy! Did you get dumped again?" Tyler asked incredulously, staring at all the chocolate.
"Dumped again?" Kristen asked, giving me a smile that made me want to slap her.
"Actually, I didn't get dumped. He got dumped by me." I nodded my head in Jolene's direction, "And her, sort of."
Tyler arched an eyebrow.
"What a jerk, dating both of you at the same time."
"Actually," Jolene said, "He was dating Ivy first, then he sort of cheated on her with me. She dumped him and I kicked him out our French project."
"Good for you both, you two deserve better," Tyler said, looking at Jolene. Her cheeks turned bright red.
"Alright! Who's ready for ice cream and Ewan McGregor?" Leena said, walking back into the living room, brown eyes shining as she clapped her hands excitedly.
Leena has had a huge crush on Ewan McGregor ever since she watched Moulin Rouge. And right now, she was pulling Moulin Rouge out of her overnight bag and was waving it around in the air crazily.
"Me!" Jolene and I shouted at the same time.
Okay, we all had major crushes on Ewan McGregor. Grinning and giggling, we left my brother and his girlfriend downstairs, and headed up to my room.
We spent the whole night watching Moulin Rouge and eating ice cream and just talking about random stuff. But when Leena and Jolene had passed out on the floor, I lay awake staring at my white ceiling, wondering if I was ever going to find someone perfect for me.