Cade had little time to think let alone confront his cousin over the next few days. With Lady Isabel gone, he was left alone to manage the household and failing where she had succeeded. Between housing and feeding the MacDonald clan, training with the few warriors they possessed and tending to duties around the keep, he had not stopped to sleep except when too exhausted to move.
He had hoped the activity would keep his thoughts from Isabel, from the guilt in his gullet, and the growing sense he had wronged her and her brother's memory by letting her go.
Exhausted, he rubbed the beard he had not had a chance to shave.
He leaned away from his bed, where the elderly MacDonald lay listlessly, and glanced at Niall. His cousins were present, as was Father Adam. The three made up his advisors, the only men he truly trusted to guide him as the leader of their people.
It was quiet and tense, with both his cousins fidgeting and Father Adam wide awake for once. The priest clutched two missives.
"Read it t'me again," he said to Father Adam.
"Laird Duncan of clan MacGomery orders ye t'turn out the MacDonald's, the enemy to his kin and clan," Father Adam said.
Cade dwelt on the command given to him by the laird whose generosity had given his clan a home, even if temporarily. He was disappointed in the man who had taken mercy on his people only to turn out his own neighbors. This was the fourth messenger to be sent, and this one was much less patient than the others. He could not afford to thrall this messenger and recognized he had to make a choice this day.
"Can we no offer t'pay him more to let the MacDonald's stay?" Niall asked, pacing nearby.
"Yea, if we had coin of any kind. We gave him every last copper just to house our kin for the year," Cade said with sarcasm. "We canna turn out women and children and," he waved to Laird MacDonald, "the near-dead to be kilt by their enemies, but I doona ken what else to do."
Niall was rubbing the back of his head, staring hard at the wall. Cade sensed what was going through his cousin's head.
"We turn them out, and we have a home for several more fortnights," Brian mused. "But that'd mean yer wedding is off."
Thank Isabel's god for that, Cade answered silently.
"I doona wanna say it, but it's our clan or theirs," Brian said.
"Ye canna be serious!" Niall objected. "D'we not have some honor?"
"I'd rather we had a home."
"We must leave before winter! We doona have a real home now!"
"Cease arguing," Cade growled at them.
They obeyed, glaring at one another.
"Or, ye marry her and claim her land. Then we go to war with Laird Duncan," said Niall.
Cade alone heard his reluctance to utter such words. If Niall was willing to give up his lover, he was as worried as Cade.
At least he's thinking of his clan not himself.
"Yea, except we have no warriors!" Brian retorted.
"This is a laird's decision," Cade said firmly. "I willna make it without great thought."
"He requires yer answer tonight," Father Adam added.
"Then I will think quickly."
"Niall is wise for once," Brian said. "None of us can e'er forget war or what it does to those who doona deserve it."
Cade leaned back, unwilling to let his mind bring up the images of all they had seen and experienced in the Crusades. By the looks on his cousins' faces, they, too, were trying to suppress the memories.
"We canna turn out the MacDonald's," Brian said. "We canna turn out our own clan, either, by supporting them. Either we join them, or we are all lost."
Niall's jaw was clenched so hard, the muscles in both cheeks ticked. Cade gazed at him for a moment, pitying his cousin yet also angry with him for his secret.
"D'ye love her?" Cade asked.
Brian blinked, surprised, while Niall froze.
"Does who love ... who?" Brian asked with a frown.
"Niall love the lass I'm supposed t'hand-fast," Cade said.
Niall wore the expression of a deer about to flee. He shook it off and glanced quickly at Brian, his face growing pink.
"I couldna wed a girl my brother loved," Cade said. "But I could a lass ye were rutting."
"Yer what?" Brian demanded, turning on the eldest of the three of them. "Ye covet yer kin's betrothed?"
Niall made a sound of frustration. "It wasna planned! I promised her before the Crusades we'd hand-fast upon my return and then ... we had nowhere t'live when we returned, so I told her I couldna wed the daughter of a chieftain if I had no gold and not when our clan needed us. Cousin, if I- "
"Be at peace, Niall," Cade said, amused to see his battle hardened kin panicking over a woman when he had never once backed down in a confrontation.
"At peace?" Brian demanded. "He didna tell me either! How can ye keep a secret from us? We are closer than brothers or did ye forget the years we spent fighting Saracens and the months in their dungeon?"
"Brian!" Niall exclaimed. "I didna plan for this to happen! But when I saw her again ..."
"Ye betrayed yer kin."
Cade laughed, surprising himself with the sound. Brian was sensitive, Niall brutish, and he too tired to contain his emotion.
"How do ye not have a sword at his throat?" Brian demanded, turning on him.
"Yea. Why am I still standing?" Niall seconded.
Cade's laughter died, and he considered. By all rights, his cousin should be begging for mercy at his feet with a knife to his throat. Was he so tired that he did not care one hair on his head about Niall sleeping with the woman he was supposed to wed?
"I canna wed her if ye love her," he said.
Niall and Brian exchanged a look. "'ave ye gone mad?" Brian asked.
"Or soft? Are we never to war again?" Niall pressed.
"Neither. I doona wish t'wed her. I ne'er have," Cade said. "I doona wish for war either, but I feel it will come to us, whether or not we wish it."
"'Tis already here," Father Adam said, lifting the missive. "We must choose a side by tonight."
A somber quiet descended. Cade rose, restless. "I had hoped to leave war far from our clan."
"We canna turn them out," Father Adam said.
"No, we canna," he agreed. "We already chose."
Brian nodded. "We need a plan before ye send back your response. We are not completely without defenses. The forest will protect us, and we have magic in place of warriors."
"Yea," Cade said.
"You ... you are not angry?" Niall asked.
"Ye lied t'me, Niall. That displeases me," Cade replied. "But Brian is right. We are brothers, and we fight this battle together." He started to smile. "And, I believe ye just solved one of our problems."
"How so?"
"Yer gonna marry a MacDonald and become their laird and shelter yer kin."
Niall considered. "But yer our laird, Cade."
"Yea, and I will remain so. But I'll also lead our few warriors into battle and when it's done, I'll leave t'find a place for our kin while ye protect them."
"With me," Brian said.
"And ye'll stay behind t'defend our clans."
"Cade!" Niall objected. "I belong with ye both in battle!"
It was almost a relief to relinquish part of his duties to his cousin. Niall would die before he would allow harm to befall their clan. All they had to do was win back the MacDonald's land first.
Though how, Cade did not yet know. He shook his head firmly. "This is yer penance fer lying t'me. Ye get t'stay behind."
Niall appeared ready to object. Brian punched his arm.
"Did ye no hear the man?" he snapped. "Ye get yer lass and a keep."
Niall's expression softened, though he scoured Cade's face. "This isna because I shamed ye?"
"Ye shame me only if ye fail to protect our kin," Cade responded.
"Verra well. If ye wish it."
"I do." He rose. "Give me peace, cousins. I need to talk to the priest. Brian, send up the healer. Niall, assess our warriors and weapons."
"MacDonald's healer or ... ours?" Brian asked.
"Ours."
"Cade," Niall breathed in objection. "Ye risk discovery by healing a man older than most those in their graves."
"I mean t'heal him," Cade replied. "He needs t'witness yer wedding."
"I will tell him I prayed him back to life," Father Adam offered.
Niall appeared ready to challenge him but relented, following Brian out of the bedchamber.
With them gone, Cade's mood began to sink once more. Fatigue weighed heavily on him, and he wolfed down bread and dried meat before sitting across from Father Adam.
"Ye didna tell me what the second message is," Cade said, glancing at the two scrolls Father Adam held. Both were damp, an indication they had arrived at the same time, not too long ago.
"It doesna matter," Father Adam said.
"What is it?" Cade plucked it from his hand and turned it around, unable to make out any of the writing. "This is Duncan's seal."
"Yea." Father Adam took the write from him. "But ye said ye doona want t'hear anything about her."
"About who?"
"Lady Isabel."
Cade lifted his gaze to Father Adam's. "What can Duncan say about her?"
"Just that she is still his prisoner."
"Still?"
"Yea. He captured her the day she left."
Startled by the news, it took a moment to find his voice. "Why didna ye tell me?" he demanded.
"You said ye didna wanna hear about her," Father Adam repeated.
"I meant ..." Cade stopped himself, uncertain why his stomach was in knots knowing she was in danger. "Why does he address me about her?" He ripped the missive from the priest's grip once more and stared at it, willing the foreign squiggles to speak to him.
"He wants ye t'affirm her story, that she is a lady who can be ransomed. He hasna the coin t'feed her through the winter if she canna bring him a purse of silver at least."
Cade bit back the yell at the tip of his tongue. Two days before, in a fit of temper, he had told Father Adam in no uncertain words he never wanted to hear her name again, even if Father Adam wished to tell him about the information contained in her writs.
"Where is Lord Richard?" he snapped.
Father Adam shrugged. "Laird Duncan only speaks of her."
Cade had hoped her departure would assist his ability to focus on the matters at hand and found the contrary to be true. Whenever he considered his clan – and the MacDonald's – might both be homeless by winter, he began to look upon her wild claims with more interest. Niall's claim to the MacDonald's land would mean nothing if they could not force Laird Duncan off it.
Too many lives were at stake for him to ignore any small hope of sheltering his people and soon, Niall's. At least, this is how he convinced himself to ask about a woman he knew was more trouble than Duncan MacGomery.
"Shall I confirm her story when I send back the response about the MacDonald's?" Father Adam asked.
Cade almost cursed afore the holy man. If he had any tie to Isabel, he risked her life if his answer this night angered Laird Duncan. The lady, however misguided and lost, was an innocent caught in a Highland struggle.
"I will think on it," he replied, mind on her large blue eyes and quiet strength.
"Laird Cade, I ken ye do not want t'ken more of her, but the writs. They are important," Father Adam ventured.
Cade nodded once brusquely and leaned back. He was once more sensing the danger of learning too much about the English woman and her secrets. "Verra well."
Father Adam's face brightened. "'Tis a scandal!"
How can a scandal help me? He thought. A tiny part of him wanted him to turn away now, as if it knew the more he learned about her, the less likely he would be to let her leave the Highlands despite their arrangement.
Doubtful, he listened to Father Adam explain the complicated secrets he had uncovered in the documents Lady Isabel carried. As he did so, he began to understand why the priest had been so eager to share the information.
A thoughtful silence ensued after the tale, and Cade's eyes went to the sickly old man sleeping in his bed. He considered himself shrewder than most men, but he was baffled.
"This doesna make sense," he breathed at last, unable to untangle the mysteries of the English noble even after learning what they were.
"She carries the land grants once carried by the MacCosse. She has a claim to their lands," Father Adam said. "She was telling the truth."
"We ken this. Niall was told thus before by the king's stewart. How does the daughter of an English noble come by this?" Cade demanded, mind working furiously. "Yer assured of the final writ?"
"I translated it twice. I am certain."
"Lady Isabel is the illegitimate daughter of our king."
"Yea."
"She isna English at all."
"Nay."
Cade started to laugh then stopped, baffled by the turn of events. He had not expected this in any way. "How can this be true?"
"I doona ken." Father Adam shrugged. "But these writs bear the king's seal. If ye have her, and ye have the writs ..."
"I have the MacCosse lands and the secret daughter o'the king, which might force him t'defend her claim. Can it be this is why he hasna allowed any other t'claim the lands?"
"'Tis possible."
"'Tis madness." Cade mulled over what he had heard. "A clever man could take her and her lands. Except she's a prisoner of the man soon to be my enemy."
"Is that all?"
Cade met Father Adam's gaze, startled by the elderly priest's question.
"Black Cade wouldna let one man stand in his way."
"Ye ken why I canna become him again," Cade said and rose, pacing away. "Black Cade canna be trusted with the lives of his clan."
"Black Cade can be trusted to defeat any enemy he crosses."
"Ye ken what that means," Cade warned.
"What choice do ye have? I am not so old I canna see we havena the warriors to face Duncan."
"T'trust my unseillie side is t'trust your devil, holy man."
Father Adam shook his head. "Yer better than the devil. Ye have mastered yerself. Ye can face Duncan with yer sword and if ye canna win, ye ken how t'use the gifts yer mother left ye."
It was not a question of whether or not he could, but whether or not he should that troubled Cade. He dwelt on the priest's confidence, uncomfortable with the knowledge Isabel was in a dungeon or that he was going to have to rescue her, if he wanted her lands.
"I doona fear victory," he said softly. "I fear the cost of it. War in a foreign land, against a foreign people I will ne'er see again, is different than bringing war to my kin. I inherited war from my father but those I must protect are my mother's kin."
"If ye fear for them, then send them away."
"T'where?"
Father Adam gave a dry chuckle. "The MacCosse lands."
Cade shook his head.
"She claimed t'be yer wife once and ye have the writ making it so. All ye need is the lass at yer side, and I can officiate."
"Ye crafty old bastard," Cade said. His thoughts lingered on the idea of making Isabel his wife – and the rush of heat accompanying such a thought. He had been drawn to her since they first met in the forest. To have her in his bed and her lands under his command ... It was more appealing than settling down had ever been. With restlessness in his blood born from war and magic, he had viewed marriage as another dungeon. But with Isabel, he saw something very different, even if he did not know exactly what that was. Her touch stilled the fury of his blood, and his magic welcomed her.
"Ye prefer peace yet would see me at war." Cade turned his attention back to the priest.
"The good lord believes battle, when warranted, t'be a forgivable sin," Father Adam replied. "Ye fight t'protect the MacDonald's and yer own clan. If ye only kill when ye must and ye show mercy, I canna think my god or yers would fault ye for it. Cade, yer already at war. Our clan is already in danger. We willna have a home come winter, even if ye wed the MacDonald's lass. They 'ave no land either. If ye can force the king's hand, we might have our own lands."
"There is naught fer them on the MacCosse lands. 'Twould take gold I doona have to shelter them."
"Or a seillie who can temper the weather," Father Adam pointed out. "'Twill ne'er hurt t'put distance between Laird Duncan and our clan. We have an ally at the Scottish court, or will, if we possess the MacCosse heir."
Cade paused at the window and gazed at the storm clouds gathering. His magic had decided already. The clouds were over the MacDonald's land, where Laird Duncan claimed to be awaiting his decision. Troubled by what lay ahead of him, he was not as eager to face battle this time as he had been when he went off to the Crusades.
"I brought ye back from the devil once," Father Adam added quietly. "I can do it again, Cade."
"And if I become him? What can ye do?"
"Pray fer yer soul."
Cade snorted. "Nay, priest. Ye'll have to do more than this." He crossed to a trunk and flung open its lid, ruffling through the contents until he found what he sought. He lifted a dagger with a blade made of bright green jade and held it out to the priest. "If ye canna save me, ye kill me."
Father Adam frowned.
"I canna go forward until I have yer word ye will do as I say," Cade said firmly. "If Black Cade canna be saved, ye must kill him, or he will destroy all."
The priest drew a breath and nodded, his expression grave. "I'll do as ye say, Cade." He accepted the dagger. "But I will do all I can t'save ye first."
"I ken." Cade shook out his shoulders. Already, battle lust was beginning to build despite his exhaustion. "I need ye t'send a writ t'the stewart of the king. Niall claimed he was unnaturally interested in Lady Isabel, and I ken why now. Tell 'im our plight. Tell 'im she is in danger."
"Yea, at once."
"I will stall Laird Duncan long enough for my cousin Douglas t'lead our people t'the MacCosse lands. The writ must reach the king b'fore Laird Duncan reaches the MacCosse lands."
"It will be done," Father Adam vowed.
"Yer a good man, for a priest."
"Yer a good man, for a seillie."
Cade clasped his friend and mentor on the shoulder.
A knock at the door silenced further discussion. It cracked open, and the healer with wild hair entered, carrying a satchel.
"If ye can, Marie, save him," he directed her. "If not, Father, give him last rites."
He left them in search ofhis cousins. His next move had to be well planned, or he would risk more thanthe lives of his kin.