AN: Dedicated to @nizaloveskittens for voting so much! Thank you! It won't let me dedicate this chapter to you, so I'm not sure if you changed your username or what.
The school's library was quiet. Well...what library wasn't? Bookshelves lined the floor. Papers scattered around, even on the ground. Finals were coming, so the school was a little more chaotic than usual. It also helped get their minds off of the chaos of the outside world. Students scattered across tables in the room, dozens of books laid out on each surface. Some typed away at laptops. Others studied their notes. Some slept. Others ate. They all had one thing in common.
They looked as exhausted as I felt.
My eyes landed on Steve, who was reading a book at a table near one of the walls. His chest rose and fell quickly, almost as if he was about to lash out on someone. His jaw locked tight, nostrils flaring as he took in oxygen. His bright blue eyes glued to the words on the page, but didn't move. He wasn't reading at all, as if he were stuck on one part. Maybe a word rang in his mind and reminded him of something else. Maybe his mind wandered into uncharted territory. Anything was possible. When his hand started to turn a ghostly white from pressure, I made my way to him.
I pulled out a chair and sat down across from him. I blinked my eyes a few times to sway the sleep away. I ran my hands through my hair and asked, "What's wrong?"
Steve closed the book loudly. It scared everyone in the room, causing them to jump in their seats. He ducked his head out of sheer embarrassment and pushed the book aside. He spoke up quietly, a hint of anger in his voice, "Getting rid of Red Skull was too easy. He disappeared right before the blast. Now, he's on the loose. That's on us."
Okay. I could handle this. He's dealt with my short comings. Now, time to deal with his. I nodded. "I agree..."
Steve's brow furrowed at that. I had trailed off, without another word. Far too unusual for me. He licked his lips and tilted his head in confusion. "...But?"
"Does there need to be one?" I leaned back in my chair, eyeing him with an eyebrow raised. I was too tired. Too tired to fight. Too tired to think. If he needed to vent, I was all ears, but not to argue.
He scoffed, rolling his eyes, "With you? Yes."
The words that came out of my mouth seemed sharp, but to the point. "I'm not in the mood to argue, Steve."
"We don't have to fight. I'm just..." He paused shortly, closing his eyes at what he was going to say. "...not in the right mindset right now to have a regular conversation."
Exhaustion to high hell had taken over anyway. Maybe it was for the best that we didn't talk right now, as much as it pained me to think about. We weren't at our best. I sucked it up and tried to leave him with some helpful words. "Look at me." He hesitated, but looked at me after a few seconds. "You did all you could in that fight against Red Skull. He got away...Yes. That's on us." I cracked a smile, realizing he was right. There always was a 'but'. It was inevitable with me. "...But that doesn't mean we can't finish what we started. We'll find him. We'll get justice. For now, don't let it bother you. We have other villains to worry about."
Steve bit his tongue. His fist clenched at the memory of Peggy and what happened to her. He vowed to himself that there would be hell to pay. Things would have to stay legal...but he would get justice all the same. Steve rubbed a finger along his jaw and dropped his hand onto the table. "I'm going to find him eventually and make sure he goes to trial for what he's done."
He didn't say kill him. I'll take that as a good sign. I set my hand on top of his and locked eyes with him. "He will get what he deserves. We'll make sure of it." There was no way I was going to let him do this alone.
Steve's chair creaked as he stood up. "I have to work out. Stay here. Sleep. Looks like you need it." He referred to the bags under my eyes. Steve walked around the table and rubbed my shoulder as he passed by.
I set my head on my crossed arms. The table was cold, but smooth. My aching head welcomed the change in temperature and I sighed contently. Sleep sounded so good, almost like a dream in itself. The more I thought about it, the more in tuned to the environment I became.
Students flipped pages of books. Typed furiously on their laptops. Coughed. Snorted, withholding laughter. Bubbles rose from a soda that was just poured from a bottle, the sizzling foam crawling down the cup. Someone tisked their tongue against the roof of their mouth. Another snored loudly across the room. An aroma of sweet pumpkin bread filled the room after a student took it out of a ziplock bag.
A low groan rose from my throat. I sat up slowly and slunk back into my chair. I couldn't sleep. Too many noises. I closed my eyes in defeat. No rest for the wicked, I suppose. And right now, I couldn't think of myself as anything but that.
Someone sat down in the chair next to me. "Can we talk?"
I opened my hazel eyes and looked over. Jake. Surprised he isn't with Peter right now. With a slow nod, I responded, "Sure, Jake. What's up?"
Jake fumbled with his hands for a moment. He furrowed his brow in thought. His lips moved wordlessly, until he cleared his throat. His blue eyes glanced around the room nervously. "Can I trust you?"
I sat up straighter in my chair. This must be really important if he's asking such a vague line. My eyes locked on his as I nodded reassuringly. "Yes, you can."
A few moments passed, and he only became more shaky. He bit his lip, released it, then dragged his hands down his face in torment. Jake lowered his voice, "I...I haven't told anyone other than Professor X."
"Are you okay? What's wrong?" I raised an eyebrow and leaned in closer to him. This kid was worrying me. Was he about to confess to a murder? A crime? Something dastardly? Maybe it was something simple. Something he'd be too scared to share out loud.
"I-I..." Jake stopped abruptly and tore his eyes away. He ran a hand through his short black hair. "Nevermind, this is stupid."
"Jake, it isn't stupid if it's important to you."
Silence took over again, holding us hostage. The other kids in the library weren't paying attention, but I wasn't sure if they were still listening. Eavesdropping was a hobby of mine, and for other students? It could be the same, especially during a tough time like this. Jake's eyes flickered back to me, watching my reaction to see if I was telling the truth. He turned his face away from the students' line of sight and whispered, "I'm..." He took a deep breath and wrung his paling hands. "I'm gay."
I smiled softly and set my hand on his arm gently. "I'm glad you're trying to open up to others about it."
A confused expression quickly set over his face. He tilted his head and quirked an eyebrow. "You're...okay with it?"
I wanted to snort at his reaction, but refrained from doing so. This kid...had no idea how much shit all the other kids, the school, and other mutants have gone through. "Of course I'm okay with it. You are who you are. Love who you love. Who am I to judge?" I leaned back a bit and smiled at him softly. "Plus, we're mutants. We've been different all our lives. Adding more differences only makes you unique, Jake."
Jake smiled and sighed in relief. He rubbed his hands on his pants to wipe off the sweat. His voice rose from a whisper, but still stayed quiet because of the library setting. "I told you because I want help."
Help with...? At least this kid wasn't into anything bad. No crimes. No drugs. No alcohol. I was happy to help with something good. "Shoot."
"Is there any way...that I could get Spider-Man's attention?"
Straight to the point. Admirable, but it wasn't what I expected.
"In like a go-on-a-date-with-me kind of way?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. Jake replied with a short nod. I couldn't outright say no to this kid. I didn't want to break his heart, but I had to tell him somehow. Right? I stood up, and ushered him to do the same. I set my hand on his shoulder and steered him towards the kitchen. This was not the place to talk about something like this. Too many ears and watchful eyes. "What do you like about him?"
Jake hung his head as some kids passed by. Silence followed in the next few moments, but I let it proceed. The poor kid didn't seem like he wanted to talk while in front of others. I couldn't blame him. Admitting his deepest secret to me was hard enough. Imagine if the other kids heard? What they could possibly say? It ranged from negativity to positivity, and I wasn't sure where on the spectrum most of the kids were. When we got to the kitchen, I was glad to find it void of any other people.
He sat down at the table and relaxed against the chair. Jake finally looked up at me with a new sense of wonder in his eyes. His lips curled up into a wide smile. "There's a lot of things I like about him. He's different. Not like us...but close enough. I also heard he makes his own tech! That's freaking awesome." He set his elbow on the table and rested his head on his hand. A dream-like expression washed over his features. "Have you seen that suit on him?"
Bleh. He's my cousin. But little Jake doesn't know that. I made hot cocoa as he went on and on about Peter. He talked a mile a minute, so by the time I was putting the hot substance into two cups, he had listed at least fifty reasons of why he likes Spidey. I handed him one, which surprisingly made him pause. He drank a bit, probably to rehydrate or rest his throat, before speaking again. I sat down and brushed my hair onto one side. I fought with myself to stay awake to support the kid. He was nice enough, and I couldn't say no to a kid in need.
"Have you seen his fights with the Lizard? Doctor Octopus? The Green Goblin? Those battles were epic! I wish he could teach me how to fight like that, but he said most of it was freestyle. In the moment type stuff." Jake's face fell instantly. His voice lowered to almost a mumble, "Spider-Man's talented. It all comes naturally to him. Nothing comes natural to me in combat but fear."
A frown formed on my lips. "Things like that take practice. I still mess up a lot, and I've spent years training."
"Does that mean I'm never going to be a good fighter?"
I shook my head immediately. "No. That just means people are really good at different things." Like how I'm really good at messing things up. I sighed internally. Sometimes I was half convinced I had the power of misfortune. There were times where I got too angry, too unfocused, too lazy, too something that wasn't needed. I was used to letting people down, but I still got the job done.
A silence settled in quickly. Jake took a few sips of his hot cocoa and wiped his upper lip. His eyes stayed glued to the table, until a memory flashed through his mind. He started speaking about other things he loved about Spidey. As he continued, he smiled widely. A sparkle glinted in his eye, and his cheeks turned a rosey pink. This kid was so full of wonder and admiration that it warmed my heart. I loved watching him talk so passionately about Peter. Then again, I'm not sure if my cousin even swings that way. Plus, he's still hung up on Gwen, especially with what happened with Mortuu. Now is not the best time, and Jake isn't an appropriate age.
I took a sip of hot cocoa, holding the cup with both hands. The heat warmed my skin as steam gracefully swirled upwards from inside the cup. I inhaled the aroma deeply, thinking of a response to give Jake. He had finally stopped talking and waited for an opinion on what to do. That's the thing.
I didn't know.
Thoughts trudged through my mind at a steady pace. I refrained from furrowing my brow and bit my lip. Do I set him down gently? Do I tell him this isn't the best time? Do I tell him to stay hopeful? An internal scream erupted in my heart. This kid was going to be devastated either way, whether it be by having to wait, or being rejected.
I opened my mouth to say something, anything, until Peter ran into the room, clearly out of breath. He set his hands on his knees and bent over for a moment. He spoke breathlessly, "Lilly, they-they're..." He inhaled deeply to calm his outrageous heartbeat before continuing, "...the rest of the gang is here. It's time."