"Wishes I made, regrets I suffer"
**********************************************************************
She
It's been 2 weeks since I have met Shubham and asked for his help......but its been two weeks and he never contacted back.
Maybe Shubham doesn't trust me enough with his friend.
Maybe he has forgotten about me.
Maybe he is still too angry with me to listen to my apology.
Maybe he doesn't want to talk.
Maybe he doesn't care anymore.
Maybe he doesn't love me anymore.
Maybe he hates me.
Maybe I'm too late......!!
These thought just made me even more wretched than I was already feeling. My nagging conscious had had no ending.....there was just a voice behind my mind continuously reminding me
"you brought this upon yourself....."
My thoughts were turning a shade darker by every passing day. Each day I woke up with the hope that today might be the day when I might be able to find my peace...... everyday the thought that today might be better than yesterday and he might just call kept me going through each day but as the days were passing by I was finding my hopes, to which I hung like my life depended upon it, slipping through.
Maybe this is the divine's way of getting back for not respecting what I was gifted.....maybe I am to live with this guilt and emptiness all my life.
My gloomy aura did not go unnoticed by a lot of people especially Shivi and Hemu.....Shivi understood me inside out and knew I may not say anything to anyone but was killing me...... the pain of betrayal from my own brother who m I trusted my life with and the pain of losing someone who had started meaning life to me......when she could not take my RBF(Resting Bitch Face) attitude anymore she dragged me to somewhere where I never expected she would be taking me ever....
Temple
Shivi was never a kind who believed in "make a wish and it will come true" types like me. So I was a bit shocked when she took me there. So I asked
"Why are we here...?"
"you know I don't believe in all this much but I will tell you a secret- the night is darkest before dawn and if you are scared of the dark don't run from it just sit and close your eyes and think of HIM watching you and as you embrace that darkness you will never be scared of it anymore....I know you are hurting....just let HIM help you.....just close your eyes and Make A Wish" she said to me shrugging
"you really think HE will listen" I asked her doubtful.
"no harm trying....." she encouraged me.
I closed my eyes and thought back about all the moments I had spent with Shiven in past and wished to feel loved again even if its not ever lasting.
After being there at temple I was feeling a bit lite. I felt as if I was able to see a ray of hope.
Maybe I'm not that late
Maybe there is still hope.
Maybe....
2 days later
I woke up early again with the same dream of him walking away, leaving me with my guilt. Things haven't changed since that day with shivi.....I was still living in hope of him calling me.
Since past two days I have been keeping myself burdened with a hell lot of work so that my mind is occupied with all the work and so that my nagging conscious can go on a break from making my life even more miserable and I can be distracted....I needed it. As I wanted to be distracted so I volunteered for helping my sister in arranging my niece first birthday party and I tell you boy my sister was preparing for hell of an party and the task was just not easy going, she just wanted everything pitch perfect. So she had asked me to go out with her to do some booking and shopping for the party. Shopping with her was a way different story...I mean who buys balloons form 7 different shops just to get the perfect color.... Shopping is a tough job for me but shopping with my sister was a whole different story.... You can just say that I was having the "best" time of my life (note the sarcasm). After shopping for I have no idea how many hours we came back home. I went straight to my room to find my mobile charger as my cellphone was taking its last breaths and could give up on me any moment. After putting it on charging I went to change and get something to eat for myself as I was starving. I haven't eaten anything since morning and it was almost my dinner time. So after garbing my snack I just prowled on my bed dead on my feet from all the shopping adventure, they were almost dead from all the walking.
Suddenly my phone rang and my screen showed shivi's photograph...i answered after second ring
"hey bitchy" came her voice.
"to what do I owe the pleasure" I asked her
"hey can I just not call my best friend" she said
"you don't call me until you are in deep shit" I stated sarcastically
"no need to be so bitchy...I just called to know how are you doing...!!" she replied
"really...!!" I asked doubtfully
"ok fine, I just broke up" she admitted
"its not your first time" I replied as matter of fact.
"I know, don't need to remind.... Why did I even call you....you were suppose to support me and cope me up with this heartbreak" came her voice dramatically
"first you called me because you have no one else to share ur crap with and as long as your heart break is concerned then all you need to do to forget your recent mishap by eating chocolats.....go dig in ur refrigerator....you will find solution to you current heartbreak." I replied her knowing that 2 chocolates will be more than sufficient to get over her heartbreak.
"you know I love you" she said
"I know" I replied
"hey you are suppose to say that back to me"
"not feeling love right now....so bugger off" relplying to her dramatism
"first say you love me then I will go" she said
"byee" saying that I disconnected the call
She called me back again
"what"
"say it" she said stubbornly
"don't you have anything better to do"
"I wont stop calling you until you say it" she said
I disconnected the call again. Such a drama queen I had as my best friend
My phone rang again and again and again and again and again and I knew I wont be getting rid of her until I said it so when my phone rang again I answered it and said
"I love you, happy now"
"you just made me the most happiest person alive princess" said the voice I had been waiting to listen everyday.
Shiven.
*******************************************************************************************
Major editing needed i know so plz ignore the mistake