It was 7 A.M. and the halls were filled with students and conversation. I speed walked to my classes as I tried not to bump into anyone. I got to my first period before anyone else and sat down in my seat. The students came swarming in right before the late bell laughing, texting, or talking to one another. Walking in a few minutes late was Scott McCall, he was around 5'10 with dark brown wavy hair, tan skin, and dark brown eyes. His strong, masculine jaw lined a pair of soft lips and he was always wearing a dog tag around his neck that said his name. He's also on the lacrosse team. I wasn't too familiar with the sport but i had seen him play before.
He handed his late pass to the teacher and sat in the seat in front of me. I couldn't help myself from staring at him, I've had a crush on him all year. I didn't have to do today's assignment since I did so well on the quiz last class while mostly everyone else failed. That got me a few dirty looks and eye rolls. The teacher was going on about Jane Eyre but barely any of the class was paying attention. One girl was putting on a ton of makeup, another girl texting her boyfriend on the opposite side of the class and half of the class was asleep. All I could focus on was Scott, he looked irresistible in his leather jacket. He turned his head to the side and caught me looking so I quickly looked down at my desk. Way to go Alix. I thought to myself.
...
Fifth period I had Gym class which I dreaded. It's always so awkward in the locker rooms because every guy thinks I'm staring at them and pay more attention to what I'm looking at than the actual guys that are looking at them. I'm the only gay person that's out at my school so that kind of draws more attention to me. Out of nowhere Scott walked up to me with nothing but a towel around his waist.
"Hey do you have any deodorant I can borrow? I got here late and forgot mine." He admitted.
"Umm sure." I said so quietly I doubt he even heard.
"Thanks, so what's your name by the way? I've seen you in first period but I never heard your name."
"A-Alix." I stumbled out, trying not to make it obvious that I was staring at his perfectly toned body. I tried to think about something else.
"Nice, I'm Scott." He held his hand out to shake mine.
As his hand moved closer it was like everything was in slow motion, I could hear my heart beating through my ears and feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins. I looked up and noticed that the light above me was dimming in and out.
"Scott man why are you talking to the queer?" Asked Richey disgustedly.
Richey was slightly over 6 feet tall, had short brown hair and tanner skin than Scott. He was your average jock douchebag.
"Why are you such a dick to him what did he do to you?" Scott asked back.
"Nothing, I just don't like the little prick." He said making eye contact with me for just a second.
"And why's that?" Scott continued.
"Because I don't get along with faggots."
I looked over at Scott as he stared at Richey with his jaw tightened. I could tell he was angry. The light above me flicked again. Scott released his tension and looked over at the light.
"That's enough now Mr. Ramirez, you've already earned yourself one detention, do you want to make it two?" Asked the gym coach sternly. Richey walked off angrily muttering something under his breath.
Afterwards once we left the locker room and went into the gym to meet the female half of the class, I saw my friend Miranda. Miranda was beautiful but not stuck up about it. She had long bubblegum pink hair with the slightest dark roots coming in, she was practically my height and always had perfect winged eyeliner.
"Alix!" She rushed up to hug me excitedly.
...
We began to play volley ball split into two teams chosen at random.
After a few rounds it was my turn to serve.
"Alix White, it's your go!" Yelled the gym coach enthusiastically.
I threw the ball in the air and went for it. I ended up hitting Richey right on the head with it.
Shit. I thought to myself. A few kids giggled.
"Hahahaha!" His girlfriend Cameron was laughing hysterically.
"Very funny prick." He looked at me with rage in his eyes.
"Aw you okay, babe?" She asked still chuckling.
"I'm fine just get on with the game." He turned around in a rush.
"Ha-ha you suck dick." She said throwing the ball back to me.
"That's enough, Burtwell." Said the female coach to Cameron.
"Ignore them." Miranda mouthed out to me from the other side.
...
When we got back into the locker room it was time to go in the showers, I hated this part the most because I was brought up believing it was a sin to shower with others. Before I went in the shower, Richey walked up to me.
"That was real funny what you did back there you little freak. I'll getcha back." He told me.
"It was an accident I didn't mean to-" I started.
"It doesn't matter you still did it, I'll make sure I get you back. I'll make sure next time everyone's laughing at you." He said as he walked off.
I ignored him and went to the shower area. Scott wasn't too far from me so it wasn't hard to catch a peek at him. Mama always told me that lust-filled thoughts were sinful but I couldn't help it he was just right there next to me. I remembered what his body looked like close up until I realized I felt pressure. I looked down but I didn't understand what was happening. I tried hiding it but it wouldn't work and when I went over to grab a towel I heard a boy shout
"Oh my god you guys Alix has a boner!"
"That fag was probably watching us shower." Answered another boy.
The group of boys then called out "fag-got, fag-got!" over and over again. While they were chanting, Richey pulled out his phone and hit record. "Fag-got, fag-got!" they chanted over and over again as they threw unused towels on the rack at me.
"Stop it!" I yelled. "Why are you doing this!?" I cried out as I sat on the floor covering myself with a towel and shielding my face from the projectiles. They continued until the gym coach walked in.
"What's going on in here!?" He yelled out to the group of chanting boys. It wasn't until he looked at me that he realized what was going on.
"Come on stand up and dress yourself." He instructed.
"I don't know what's going on something's not right, something's not right." I repeated.
"I don't think he knows he has a boner." Laughed Josh.
"NO!" I screamed as the lightbulb from earlier popped.
"You're not helping Joshua. Everyone out now!" Shouted the teacher. The group of boys left the locker room as they talked about what happened with the lightbulb.
"Now Alec," he started.
"It's Alix." I corrected him.
"Alix, just get dried up and dress yourself and then we'll have a talk when you're ready okay?" He said warmer than his usual tone.
...
Later that day, I got called into the principal's office. I nervously walked up to the door and knocked quietly.
"Come in." said Mr. Ayala.
"You called me in?" I asked hesitantly.
"Yes, Allen, is it?" he asked
"Alix." I corrected him. Nobody ever got my name right.
"Right, well it has come to my understanding that some male students are making you feel uncomfortable in the locker rooms. If you want, you can have your mom call in and ask for a pass to get changed elsewhere, perhaps in the bathroom?"
"Thank you, but no it's fine I just ignore them, it's mainly Richey and his friends more than anyone else."
"Richey Ramirez?" he asked raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, I think so."
"Interesting, who else?" He asked curiously.
I listed him a few of the jerks from class that had picked on me before.
...
Later on he called me back down, he told me he had spoken to Richey and his friends.
"Allen, I-"
"It's Alix." I said with a strong tone, causing the lights nearby to flicker.
"Right, well I have been told now that you hit Richey in the head with a volley ball and that is the reason for him picking on you. He said you didn't even apologize and that hurt his feelings. He then explained to me that you... showed yourself to the rest of the class."
"The volleyball was an accident and I told him that. Also, I wasn't 'showing myself' I didn't understand what was happening."
"Well it's normal for boys your age to have erections, it actually happens a little earlier most of the time, it's just more of a private thing. Since this is Richey's second offense, he is banned from prom. Even though this is your first, I'm afraid we're going to have to call your mother."
I was shaking my head in disagreement repeatedly saying "no."
"I'm sorry but if you're getting into situations like this I'm going to have to let her know what is going on."
I gave out one final strong "NO" as the middle shelf to the bookcase to the far end of the room collapsed, bringing all the books and knickknacks to fall to the floor.
"What in the-?!" the principal shouted out running over to the bookshelf oblivious to what had just happened. "Must have been a loose screw in there." He said to himself as he examined closer.
I ran out of the room with my heartbeat in my ears again. It was so loud, all I can hear was a fast paced thumping sound, I felt a sharp pain in my head and I felt like I was about to faint.
...
Later on after school when I got home, my mother was there, home from work early and yelled out to me "Alixander, get over here now!" I walked over towards her slowly, she looked angry, with a bible in her hand.
"Your school called earlier." She started. "You committed a sin, you showered with those other boys, and you had lust filled thoughts." She explained.
"Mama what happened today wasn't a sin, Mr. Ayala told me it's perfectly normal for boys to have these thoughts. Why didn't you tell me mama? I was so scared, I didn't understand what was happening to me." I confided in her.
"Blasphemy!" she shouted as she thumped me in the head with the bible making me fall to the floor. "I will not have a perverted sinner living in my home, now go to your closet and pray to God for forgiveness!" She shouted. I shook my head and took a step back.
"Go." She repeated in a cold tone.
"No mama!" I yelled as she stepped closer and dragged me into the lining closet. I struggled to escape her tight grasp but failed. She pushed me in and slammed the door shut, locking it from the outside.
"Mama let me go, please!" I yelled through the door as I smacked it repeatedly. "Let me go, let me go!" I kept yelling and banging on the door. Then I screamed "God I hate you!" as a long crack appeared in the center of the door and the lights outside flickered for a second.
"Not again." I heard her whisper to herself. She turned her back to the door and began praying hysterically.
...
Later that day, I awoke to find my mother unlocking the closet door.
"Did you finish your prayers?" she asked me calmly as she brushed back my hair with her fingers.
"Yes, mama." I replied as she let me out. I went upstairs to my room. For some reason all I was able to think about was Scott. I tried to force the thoughts out of my head, I've found boys attractive before but I never felt this way about them. As I was thinking about him and remembering what he looked like, I remembered something else that caught my attention; the flickering lights. Whenever I was nervous around Scott or angry with Richey the light above me was dimming. It easily could have been nothing, a loose bulb at the most. Then I remembered when it popped, and the way the bookshelf collapsed out of nowhere. I remembered earlier today, how mad I was when the closet door cracked. It couldn't just be a coincidence, something strange was happening to me.
...
The next day, after school there was a pep rally. We lined up on the bleachers and watched the cheerleaders dance to the school song with their hair tied up in pigtails. Afterwards the football and lacrosse players came charging out as the cheerleaders cheered for them. The guys wore a burgundy jersey with a white number on the back followed by B.H.H.S, the initials of the school with black jogging pants. My eyes were locked on Scott the entire time, he looked so adorable in his lacrosse uniform.
The cheerleaders did their routine to hip-hop music. Cameron, as captain, did splits and flips in the air, I could barely hear the music with the sound of the school cheering and whistling. The routine sped up as the boys joined in behind them. Richey was directly behind Cameron with a darker red uniform showing that he was captain of the boys.
After the pep rally, Scott walked up the bleachers, his hair dripping with sweat. "Hey." he greeted out of breath.
"You were great out there." I smiled.
"Thanks but I messed up once or twice." He admitted shaking the sweat off his head.
"Nope, you were the best one there!"
"Thanks." He looked over at me with a smile. "Are you going to the game tonight?" He asked.
"Are you playing?"
"Of course." He chuckled.
"Then yeah i'll be there." I said thinking of an excuse to tell mother.
"Alright cool."
"McCall!" Yelled the coach from the other side of the gym.
"Shit, I gotta go." He got up quickly. "I'll see you there." He said rushing down the bleachers to meet up with the rest of the team.
...
"Mama there's a game tonight at the school, can I go?" I asked with honesty.
"Game?" She asked unfamiliar of the word.
"Yeah you know, like sports." I told her nervously.
"Sports? Since when are you interested in sports?" She asked.
"Well the whole school is going and my teacher asked if I could make it." I lied.
She glared at me with suspicion and after a moment said "Fine, you may go."
...
I got to the school and when i tried to enter a tall man that towered over me stopped me. "Entry fee."
"Uh." I said forgetting the ticket costs money.
"Here." Answered Scott walking up behind me. He handed the man three dollars.
"Thanks." I said feeling dumb.
"No problem, i'm the one that invited you anyway. Glad you could make it." He walked me towards the field. I sat on the outside bleachers where I saw Miranda and her boyfriend, Ashton. Scott joined the team on the field as they prepared for the game.
Lacrosse seemed different than any other sport I had watched before which wasn't many. A small, rubber ball is thrown, caught, and carried in the netting of a long "L" shaped stick. Scott had a hold of the ball and was trampled to the ground by Richey. "FOUL!" Screamed the coach from the sidelines. Scott got up and dusted himself off like it was nothing even though Richey was quite larger than him.
"It was an accident!" Richey yelled to the coach. He and Scott glared at one another for a moment like two predators in an open field.
Richey smirked and ran back into the game. The cheerleaders cheered everytime our team scored a goal. I stared at Richey with fury for what he did to Scott. I watched him as he ran across the field until his Lacrosse stick slipped through his fingers and tripped him causing his face to pummel into the dirt. The crowd laughed for a few seconds before the coach blew his whistle repeatedly.
The game ended with our school losing by two points. It was eight o'clock by the time it was over. Scott walked up to me afterwards looking disappointed in himself. "You did great, whether you won or lost you still tried your hardest and did an awesome job." I complimented him.
"Thanks." He responded glumly.
"It's all your fault you know." We overheard Cameron say to Richey as they walked to his car.
"How is it my fault?" He asked dusting off his torso.
"You had to go and tackle your own team instead of focusing on the game because you let your rage get the better of you like always. It's not like you're even a good captain anyway." She rolled her eyes as he unlocked the car.
"It was that kid Scott's fault, he kept getting in my way babe." He tried justifying himself, unaware of us close by.
"So you admit that it wasn't an accident?" She said before she got into the car and the rest of the conversation was cut off.
"You did perfect," I told Scott trying to make him feel the opposite way Richey did. "as long as you had fun that's all that counts."
"I guess so." He turned back to me. "Are you going home now or can you hangout for a little?"
"I really want to believe me, but I can't it was difficult even persuading my mother to let me come in the first place so I have to get home."
"Oh." He looked disappointed. "It's okay I have a few things I need to do anyway." He tried convincing me.
"I'm really sorry I do want to it's just-"
"Hey I get it, it's okay. I'll see you in class." He held out his closed fist and I was confused by the gesture. "It's a fist bump." He chuckled noticing it was unfamiliar to me. "You do this." He grabbed my hand and closed it into a fist. He made eye contact with me and lost track of what he was doing for a short moment. "Then you just" He mimicked an explosion sound as he "bumped" our fists together and then opened his up. I laughed at how cute he was at explaining things. The more Scott and I talked the more intense my crush on him grew. I was worried he'd eventually find out and things would change between us. We said goodnight and made our way to our houses.