"Hanna, no. It's my apartment too, and I will not have one of those flea-ridden mongrels in my home."
"Just because you like pussy, that doesn't mean you need to get a pussycat, Spencer!" Hanna shot back.
"We are getting a puppy and that's final."
They were at it again - for weeks the couple had been arguing over which pet to get. Spencer wanted a cute and cuddly kitten, and Hanna wanted a playful and spirited puppy. At the age of twenty, one would think that they would have learned to settle things like adults: in a mature and reasonable fashion.
- -
As they tromped around the pet store with Hanna turning over ever item she could get her hands on and placing the bird food next to the fish food (and Spencer working quickly to fix everything Hanna touched), they were far from being able to settle things in a suitable manner.
"Why can't we get a kitten?" Spencer asked, hurrying to catch a glass fishbowl Hanna had 'dropped.' "They're less messy and so soft."
"They shit in a box and prance around like they own the joint! The Mayans worshipped them, but that doesn't mean we need to get one."
"—The Egyptians, Hanna." Spencer retorted, following her girlfriend around the store as Hanna disorganized everything she could. The managers and other employees were watching them carefully now, but neither girl really cared.
"—Whatever." Hanna paused by a display of animal-themed birthday cards and selected one of them. On the front was a picture of a green frog wearing a sombrero.
"Hop your birthday is FROGTASTIC!" Hanna read out loud. She giggled and stuffed it back before grabbing another one.
"We're getting a puppy." Hanna held up her hand to stop Spencer from protesting.
"Have an EGGcellent birthday, party CHICK!" Hanna tossed the card in the air an moved along, smirking to herself as Spencer snatched it up and put it bag.
"Dogs shed."
"Cats are evil."
"Dogs have to go outside to use the bathroom."
"You really can't play any fun games with cats."
"Dogs smell."
"Cats are greedy little assholes who think they can climb over any furniture piece they please."
"Hanna!" Spencer groaned.
"Spencer," Hanna mocked.
"We're getting a kitten. This conversation is over."
"We're getting a puppy and that's that."
While the girls were arguing, a store employee, carrying two large bags of dog food and a bag of kitty letter, was slowly nearing them.
"—Cats are friendly!"
"—You can walk dogs, you can't put a cat on a leash!"
"—Cats are affectionate!"
"—Dogs will protect us from intruders!"
The employee got closer and closer, while Hanna and Spencer's voices continued to rise.
Then it all happened too fast: Hanna stuck her foot out just as he passed them and the poor guy went stumbling into the counter, the bags flying out of his hands. They crashed into the shelves behind the counter, exploding on impact, sending dog food and kitty litter everywhere.
The noise caused a dog nearby with its owner to become startled and break free of his leash, where he immediately started barking at a bird that was being passed into its cage by another employee. The bird fell off the man's arm and began to hop around, squawking, its wings having been clipped. A little toddler started crying at the sudden noise, which sent her parents into a massive argument.
"—I told you we shouldn't have—"
"—We were just going to get her a nice rabbit!"
In just a matter of minutes, the store was chaos. Customers and employees were tripping over dog food and cat litter. The dog was trying to reach the bird, which had crawled under a desk and continued to squawk.
A little girl was crying while her parents were arguing. One of the managers came out and started yelling a sixteen-year-old employee who had just stepped through the door (in French, nonetheless) and looked as if she were about to cry at any given moment.
Standing idly by, Spencer was pressing her fingers to her temples. Her eyes were closed and her lips were pressed into a thin, straight line.
Hanna, on the other hand, had started to rifle through the cards again.
"Spencer?"
"...What?"
"Let's get a monkey."