Soft light filtered in through sheer drapes and reflected off pale yellow walls, stirring JoLynn gently to life. She yawned and stretched, burrowing deeper into downy pillows and a lofty comforter as the memory of her arrival yesterday played through her mind. Around supper time she'd pulled her road-weary SUV through the front gate and down the driveway to her dad's expansive house. Inside, she found a casual dinner party attended by family, friends, and business associates, already well underway. Her father had swept her into his arms, the joy lighting his features unmistakable, and announced to everyone that the guest of honor had arrived. The prodigal had returned.
Of course, he hadn't said the part about the prodigal returning, but that's how it had felt as he reintroduced her to work colleagues who hadn't seen her since she'd been a girl. Tired as she'd been from the long drive, she'd hung in there, through the barbequed ribs, the kids splashing in the pool, and all the general excitement until past eleven o'clock when the last guests departed. She stretched again and observed the shifting of the shadows on the wall as the sun continued to rise.
The crystal clock on the bedside table told her it was well after nine, and she really should be getting up. But Kelly was not likely finished with the pouting jag brought on by not being the center of attention at the party last night, and the peaceful cocoon of her room held her fast. She'd forgotten how pleasant waking up here could be.
A light knock sounded on the door.
"Come in."
The housekeeper, Natalia, pushed the door open and entered with a tray of what JoLynn hoped was breakfast. "Rise and shine."
JoLynn couldn't stop the smile that broke out, not that she would have tried. Natalia was way more than the housekeeper. She had always been a friend and ally—even a mother to her—when JoLynn had needed one most. "Don't you mean, 'Get your lazy butt out of the bed'?"
Natalia's smile was sly, her dark eyes sparkled. "Is someone feeling guilty for sleeping in?"
JoLynn sat up and fluffed the pillows. "Has Daddy gone to work yet?"
Natalia nodded and situated the breakfast tray over JoLynn's legs. Then she perched on the edge of the bed. "You looked a little tired and overwhelmed last night, so he thought it might be best if you took the week to get settled back in here before starting work."
"The whole week?"
Natalia's smile widened.
"A day or so may be all I can stand." The thought of spending a whole week at home with Kelly made her want to pull the covers over her head and settle in right here until next Monday. "Maybe I could spend the week looking for an apartment or a little house to rent."
"That would break your daddy's heart."
"Seriously?"
"JoLynn, he's been walking on air since he got the news you were coming home. You're the new queen around here."
JoLynn pinched off a bit of the warm, home-made flour tortilla and poked it into her mouth with a grunt. "For now, maybe. I guess I should enjoy it while it lasts. But he didn't seriously believe I'd want to live here permanently, did he? And I know Kelly doesn't want me here any longer than absolutely necessary."
Natalia remained diplomatically silent, but the smirk on her face said plenty, not the least of which was eat your eggs before they get cold.
JoLynn forked a bite of huevos rancheros into her mouth and groaned. "Oh, Natalia. I've missed your cooking. Maybe I do want to live here forever."
"Well," Natalia rose and crossed to the windows where she opened the blinds letting even more light stream in through gauzy drapes. "Whether you live in this house forever or not, one thing is for sure. You can't stay in this room forever."
JoLynn let out a dramatic sigh. "That's a shame. I love this room."
"Yes, well, tomorrow morning you're expected to eat cereal in the kitchen with the rest of us." Natalia paused in the doorway and winked. "Your highness."
Half an hour later, JoLynn had donned a pair of faded cutoffs, plain white t-shirt, and flip-flops, and carried the breakfast tray back downstairs to the kitchen. She paused at the sink to rinse her dishes and load them in the dishwasher. Then she stored the tray in its place in the pantry. Finally, she crossed the breakfast room to the expansive windows overlooking the pool where Kelly lounged while little Keisha splashed around in the shallow end.
Kelly's legs were as long and tanned as ever. Her two piece swimsuit, built more for show than actual swimming, displayed them to their best advantage. Blond hair was piled precisely to look like no care was taken. Her glossy lips curved into a smile as a polished finger tip scrolled indolently across the display of her smart phone. Midway through her forties, and after having given birth to four children, Kelly was still flawlessly beautiful. She turned heads wherever she went and she expected no less than everyone's full attention. The old feelings of inadequacy rose fresh inside JoLynn and she turned away. Not even twenty-four hours back in her father's house and she already felt like the awkward girl she had once been; the one who didn't belong and would never measure up.
The newspaper was arranged prominently in the center of the breakfast table with the real estate section pulled out and laid on top. JoLynn sat, unfolding it, wondering if it had been Natalia or Kelly who placed it there. She was re-reading an ad for a three bedroom two bath in a very desirable neighborhood when the phone in her pocket vibrated. The display told her it was Mel.
"Hey, what's up?"
"Guess where I am right now?" Mel sounded breathless.
"At a tattoo parlor with Curtis?"
"Nope."
Silence.
"Really?" JoLynn laughed, not really feeling it. "You're going to make me guess?"
"I'm at my desk. In my classroom."
"Mel, that's awesome."
"It is so awesome. And what about you? What's going on there? How's big business treating you so far?"
JoLynn sighed. "Not at all, yet. Dad wants me to take the week to settle in at home. But I don't think that's such a great idea. I'm thinking I'll probably try to start work tomorrow."
"Doing what?"
JoLynn's laugh came a little more from the heart this time. "I don't even know."
She didn't have a clue what her father even did aside from running a manufacturing company for equipment used in oil refineries. She didn't really even know what that meant. But that's what was next on her life's agenda. Hopefully, she'd be able to find meaning in it.
"Well, whatever it is, I know you'll do it well."
"Thanks, Mel. How's your classroom?"
"Pretty bare right now. And school starts next week. So I better get to work. I just wanted to say hi. I'll talk to you again soon."
"Bye."
She ended the call and set the phone on the table, staring at it, overwhelmed nearly to tears by a sudden, urgent prompting. The same prompting had come at midnight last night as she sat, exhausted, on the edge of her bed. All the party guests had departed, and JoLynn had unpacked her suitcases and stowed them underneath. Then she sat, her gaze drawn magnetically to the phone on her bedside table. And the impulse had come.
Call him.
But she'd fought the prompting and then dismissed it.
Now the nudge caused her to scroll through her contacts until she landed on Shane's entry. She stared at his information through the blur of unshed tears, aching to feel the comfort he'd offered a few weeks ago at her grandmother's house and desperately wanting to know how he was doing. Needing to hear his voice.
It made no sense. He was the reason she was here, feeling worthless, needing comfort. This was all his fault. And yet there was no doubt that he was the only one whose comforting words would soothe her heart. His heart was every bit as broken as hers over the way things turned out between them. And Curtis's words the last time she'd seen him had played through her mind constantly.
He didn't do any of this on purpose...
And that was the truth. Her days on Traveling Texas were numbered before he ever joined their ranks. With sponsors withdrawing and viewer numbers dwindling, they were realistically just a few episodes from cancelled. And now that the dust had settled, she believed his side of the story. And she hadn't even really listened to his explanation. She dismissed his defense and then turned her back on him. Regret swept over her in a huge wave. If nothing else, he was her friend, and she hadn't given him the benefit of the doubt. And then she'd packed up and left without even saying goodbye.
He probably wouldn't want to hear from her, anyway. But she wanted to hear from him.
Call him.
JoLynn took a deep, shaky breath, raised a trembling hand, and then touched the phone to connect the call. She pressed the phone to her ear and waited for the first ring. But the call went straight to voicemail. Her heart thundered in her chest when she heard his recorded voice urging her to leave a message, and she let her eyelids drift closed. She missed him—the sound of his voice, his teasing remarks, his crystal blue eyes, the line of his jaw when he smiled. She missed everything about him.
When the beep sounded, her first impulse was to chicken out and hang up. But what would be the point? He would know she'd tried to call.
"Um..." She said finally. "It's JoLynn, and I..." Her voice nearly broke, and she continued just above a breathy whisper. "I just wanted to...um...see how you were. Call me back when you can, OK?"
She ended the call and slipped the phone back into her pocket, turning her attention back to the real estate section of the paper. Regardless of what her father thought, she would need to start work tomorrow. She simply could not sit around the house for a solid week with nothing to do except think about Shane.
"JoJo!"
Keisha darted into the kitchen wrapped in a pool towel and still dripping wet. JoLynn tamped down her heartache and found a smile for her youngest sister. She'd never had a close relationship with any of her brothers and sisters, but little Keisha wasn't at all to blame for that. JoLynn had been out of the house, hard at work launching Traveling Texas when she'd been born. Maybe she'd seen this littlest sister once or twice a year since then, hardly enough time to build an affectionate bond, but Keisha always seemed drawn to her anyway.
"Daddy says you're gonna live with us now." The girl climbed up onto JoLynn's lap.
"That's right." JoLynn wrapped the towel more snugly around her. "For a little while."
"Are you still gonna be on T.V.?"
"No. I'm going to work for Daddy now."
"Oh." Keisha's teeth began to chatter and her lips looked a touch blue.
"Keisha!" Kelly came through the back door. "I told you to go on up to your room and get dried off. We'll be late if you don't hurry."
"Where are you off to today?" JoLynn gently urged her sister off her lap, then pulled the girl's towel closed again.
"Kelsey has a fitting today. She gets all the new dresses for her pageants. I never get any new dresses."
"Oh, now." JoLynn chided her softly. "I'll just bet you have a closet full of pretty dresses in your room."
"Not fancy dresses like Kelsey. I want to be in a pageant, too. But Mommy won't let me."
"Maybe she just wants you to be a little older before you start all that." JoLynn tried to mask the scorn in her tone for her little sister's sake, but the sharp look the comment drew from Kelly proved she'd failed to cover it completely.
"No." Keisha shook her head solemnly. "She says I can't ever be in one."
JoLynn glanced back at Kelly to find the woman's shrewd gaze trained on her. Silence prevailed for a long moment. Finally, Kelly broke it.
"Run along, Keisha. Go get dressed."
"See ya, JoJo." The still dripping girl scampered out of the kitchen and up the stairs. JoLynn turned back to the real estate classifieds on the table. But her step mother remained quietly where she was.
"I know what you think of me, JoLynn." Kelly's thin voice broke the awkward silence.
JoLynn turned a page of the paper. The very last thing she could stand right now was a confrontation. Her heart was broken, her world was shattered, and she could barely summon the motivation to even try to piece it all back together. But maybe it would be better to have it out now. Kelly didn't want her here. Maybe letting her vent her frustration and disapproval would make the next few weeks go a little more smoothly. Maybe all the woman needed was to speak her mind.
JoLynn sighed. "And what do I think of you?"
When Kelly didn't answer JoLynn glanced back at her.
"You think I'm nothing but a stupid beauty queen. Like everyone else. Pushing Kelsey into the pageant world, and someday doing the same thing to Keisha so I can relive my younger years vicariously through them."
JoLynn remained silent, not wanting to give any credence to the idea that her step mother knew exactly what she had always thought of her: that she was indeed a stupid, adulterous, home-wrecking beauty queen. Had her feelings always been that obvious? The sudden conviction that she'd never, in any situation, given Kelly the benefit of the doubt layered shame on top of heartache. She had always blamed Kelly for the destruction of her home, when the fault could probably be shared equally with her father and just possibly her mother, too.
"So, it might surprise you to know," Kelly continued, "that I have forbidden Keisha from competing in pageants. At least until she's old enough to make the decision for herself. And I hope by then it doesn't appeal to her as much as it does now. I want her to be different. I don't want her to measure her worth by how many crowns and sashes she has that say she's the most beautiful. That was me at her age and for my whole life. But I want her to stand up on her own two feet and know she's capable of anything she puts her mind to... more important things than winning a beauty contest."
JoLynn swallowed and chanced a glance at Kelly, whose eyes brimmed with unshed tears.
"I guess..." Kelly's voice cracked and she cleared her throat. "I want her to be like you. Confident and fearless, no matter what happens. Not that there's anything wrong with beauty pageants."
Kelly sent her a pointed look then followed Keisha up the stairs.
JoLynn turned to watch her go.
Confident? Fearless? Is that what Kelly thought of her? After a lifetime of making sure JoLynn knew her place in the hierarchy of this household, that she would always rank last among the children, Kelly's words of admiration—praise, even—came as a shock. And she couldn't help but wonder if her long-held perception of her step-mother wasn't completely accurate. Maybe she'd never seen past the injury she always blamed on Kelly, and so couldn't really see Kelly as fellow human soul every bit as injured by others as JoLynn had been.
JoLynn turned back to her newspaper with a sigh and cast a glance at her phone, wondering if Shane would call her back. She hadn't given him the benefit of the doubt either and she should have.
From now on, she would assume the best about the people in her life instead of the worst. If Shane called her back, if he ever spoke with her again, she would never doubt him again.