Part 16
”So…” I say when I’m alone with Steel in the living room. The rest of them left the house a few minutes ago and it is too quiet in here and I don’t know if I want to do this anymore. Butterflies are being wild in my stomach and I don’t know why I’m so nervous.
”I wanted to ask you out,” he says calmly.
”What?” I bring my head up and meet his gaze, a bit shocked over the news, just to be eaten by his magnetic eyes.
”Back in the other town at that party when I realised whose daughter you were.” He puts his head to the side and looks me up and down. ”I don’t know how you pulled it off though. You sure are a good actor.”
I clench my teeth angrily. ”What is that supposed to mean?”
”Whatever you want it to mean, babe.” His smirk makes me more annoyed. ”You must have been pregnant back then too though no one noticed the signs. You should be happy the press didn’t find out yet.”
”And this is what you wanted to talk to me about?”
”No, I just want to clear some things, like my obvious interest in you. And the fact that pregnant women are sexy.”
”Didn’t Anna beat you enough with that magazine yesterday?” I look around the room for something to hit him with and he just laughs at my expression. ”What’s so funny?” I growl at him.
”Because it doesn’t matter what I think. I am too late, I heard the rumours about you and Matt and the baby when I got back. I wish you all the luck, I know how it feels to be a single parent and I don’t want you to go through any break up with your child’s father. So whatever I think about you doesn’t matter.”
”Oh.” I feel weak after his confession and I must sit down on the sofa. ”So Shawn Steel is interested in me?”
”A lot of people are interested in you Darlene, but I fell for you when I realised the game you are playing.”
”I didn’t mean it as a game.” I frown.
”You and I will fit together though. Stop struggling, I know you want it too.”
I look deep into his eyes, searching for something to help me resist but I can’t find it.
”You’re right.” I breath out slowly. ”Should we start down there?” I point towards the corner and he nods.
We rush down there and I sit down and look up smiling to him as he hovers over the blank black surface so close to me.
”So, how do you want to start this, MD?” he asks me with a sly smile.
I look down at my hands and then let them dance over the piano keys. The sound that fills the room is something I’ve been thinking of since yesterday and it feels good to practise it in reality instead of my mind. It is classic with a bit of rocky pieces stuck in the intro.
”First of all,” I start saying. ”is to scrap all Darlene manners. Can we agree on that?”
”I knew it!” he exclaims. ”There is more to you than what you let people see.”
”I can sing most styles. Pop just have a wider audience and that’s what I got signed for.”
”Did you ever regret it?” he asks me curiously and leans in closer. I lean closer to him in respond.
”When hell freezes over.” I whisper and let my fingers play another piece on the piano.
”That’s nice,” he compliments with excitement in his eyes.
”I know it is,” I giggle in respond.
”Let’s see what lyrics we can slash together.”
Soon we are both unaware of the world around us, totally tied up in the work. I know how to do this, I am good and we have both made a lot of duets before. Surprisingly we work well together and I am relieved by that fact. Our passion for music brings us together and all other feelings must be put aside.
”Hey you guys!” an irritated morning voice interrupts us and we look up to see Anna standing there with groggy eyes and her hair standing up in all ways.
”I like your look today Anna,” Steel teases her and he gets a huge roar back.
”You better watch out Shawn or I’ll make sure you’ll never be able to get children again! Do you think it is fun trying to sleep when you are making so much noise in here?”
”It’s after noon, why do we have to care about you? Everyone else was awake before ten at least.”
”I can sleep in as long as I want to, it’s none of your business!”
”I think someone had too much to drink yesterday,” he keeps provoking her, definetly amused by the situation.
”I did not!”
”You should be a better role model in front of your future student, she might think it is okay to ditch classes to get some extra sleep.”
”Now you’re really pissing me off! I am a responsible person when it comes to business, but I am on a vacation right now, especially invited by my best friend while you only could stay because your sons fell asleep!”
”Touchy are we? What does MD think of all this?” Steel brings his eyes back to mine and I freeze up in surprise.
”Me?” I say stupidly.
”Don’t bring her into our conversation Shawn! She is only a slave driver when it is involved with her own work, other than that she’s quite a pussy cat. Keep working together you’ll soon find the bitch in her when you disagree on something.”
Anna leaves the room and slams the living room door shut so the walls are shaking.
”Wow you made her really mad,” I say amusingly. ”Her morning temper is not the best one.”
”It was quite funny.”
”Don’t make enemies with my friend.”
”I think I already did.”
I just sigh and we continue to work on our song. I feel a bit irritated that Anna disturbed us, she should know better.
”No, no, no!” I yell angrily at Steel half an hour later when he didn’t sing a part of the song exactly as I want. He looks back and his patience are clearly dropping.
”What did I do wrong this time?”
”Where’s your heart? If you are going to sing with me then you have to be more serious.”
”Well I am serious!”
”Prove it. Sing like you mean it and not because we are testing.”
He tries again and it sounds a little bit better. I let my voice flow with his and I can’t keep my excitement down as I do. Our voices fits good together.
”That will have to do. You must go home and practise so you get the right feeling.” I tell him sternly.
”Yes, boss!” he mocks me.
We hear little boys’ giggles and I turn my head to see the two of them hiding behind the couch, half visible. Their hair are all wet from the snow. I break out in a smile.
”Albin and Preston!” I call out and they come out from their hiding.
”You are fun when you yell at dad like that!” Albin says and Steel frowns madly at me.
”It’s not like I can yell back at a pregnant woman,” he defends himself and I raise my eyebrows at his comment knowing it is bullshit.
”Did you have a good time outside? You were out for a long time.”
Preston nods.
”Anne promised to make us hot chocolate! Do you want some too?”
”Alright, I can’t say no to that.” I get up from my seat and Steel grabs my elbow to help me.
The rest of my family are in the kitchen, they have rosy cheeks from the cold air and they look happy and a bit tired. Anna is sitting by the kitchen table, dressed up and eating a very late breakfast.
”Molly!” Bree says excitedly. ”You and Shawn really sound good together!”
”I told you she is a slave driver.” Anna shakes her head and look straight into Steel’s eyes. ”Did you enjoy being tortured?”
”Molly is so kind! She can’t be that bad, can she?” Anne says nervously and looks at me when I take a seat by the table.
”I used to work with her, remember?” Anna snorts. ”I’m happy I don’t anymore.”
”I was hoping to have you as one of my dancers in the future Anne. I just hope Anna won’t scare you away from me. It would feel so good to have you with me.”
I meet my sisters tear filled eyes and she just nods happily.
-
Steel and his boys left the house earlier and I feel refreshed after a long nap with Matt. Bree and dad had made an awesome dinner and Anne had demanded us to let her decide what we should do during the evening. So we are sitting in the TV room, waiting for her. Me and Matt are sitting in the two seat sofa while dad and Bree are in the three seat. Martin is sitting comfortably in his armchair. Anna left earlier too, she’s seeing some friend in the town and I don’t want to force her to hang around my family.
Anne finally rushes into the room with an USB memory in her hand. She connects it with the TV and turns it on.
”You see, Molly made us miss a lot so I decided to download a concert with her!”
”What!” I yell. ”Did you download that illegally?”
”Yup,” Anne admits without shame as a clip starts showing on the screen.
”People like you are making people like me go bankrupt,” I moan.
”Whatever,” she just responds and take a seat in the sofa next to Bree.
The concert is one hour long, but they have cut it to be short like that in the movie. I can’t help to admire myself during my performance. The girl on the screen looks happy, healthy and not to mention the gorgeous body. I look down at my fat and start crying.
”What’s the matter, sweetheart?” Matt asks me and brings me into a hug.
”I will never look that good ever again!”
Matt just chuckles at my comment. ”I’ll love you either way Molly.”
”Even if I become a fat whale?”
”I think it’s quite impossible for you to become a whale, but I would love you anyway for sure.”
I hug him harder and continue to watch the concert.
The rest of my family is absorbing me as an artist, they see Darlene in a different light and their eyes are wide.
”You’re quite amazing, Molly,” my dad says when the concert is over.
”Thank you.” It slips out of me but I can’t meet his gaze or even look back at him.
”I didn’t have any expectations of you. Still you turned out like this.”
”Mom had.”
”What?”
I feel brave enough to look back at him and I feel a bit angry too.
”Mom wanted me to do this, I promised her on her death bed to fulfil my dreams.”
He looks down ashamed.
”Well, let’s not ruin the mood!” Anne exclaims terrifyingly. ”We still have a movie to see, okay?”
”Is it on the USB as well?” I can’t stop myself from asking.
”Oh yes, miss I'llbecomebankruptbecauseofthis.”
The movie starts rolling and I relax just to get thrown into ice cold water.
No, no, no!
Relax Molly, you can do this.
Oh, hell no!
I start hyperventilating and I start to get up but Matt pulls me down again.
”Relax, sweetheart.” he whispers smoothly into my ear so I get slightly turned on.
”I can’t watch this,” I say weakly and everyone looks at me with confuse written all over them.
”What is it?” Anne asks.
”It’s just.. This movie.” I force the last word out of my mouth like it is poison.
”Yes, it’s the movie you played with Jamie Allen. It is really good and it really shows us more of your skills!”
”That movie is awful!” I yell as the opening credits keep rolling.
”Jeez, Molly, it sounds like you never saw it,” Martin says.
”Actually I never did see it.” I confess and everyone starts laughing at me. ”But I really hate acting!”
”Give the movie a chance, please?” Matt asks me in a hard to resist voice and I sigh. ”I promise it is really good.”
”Fine.”
I finally admit myself defeated but it doesn’t feel good in any way. Matt knows my weak spots and I rather stay here with him for the next two hours than alone somewhere else in the house. It is only fair to finally let them know this side of me. So I focus on the screen and I watch the movie I made years ago, for the very first time.
I wasn’t prepared for the actual movie though. I never expected it to draw me in so completely and I honestly always thought people exaggerated when they said how good it was. The blonde totally brilliant actor is me. I don’t understand how I could have been so afraid of myself before. Maybe I thought I would be embarrassing, but that totally isn’t true. Jamie is right, I’m a damn of a good actress. I am completely breathless when the movie is finally over. I look at my father and he looks breathless too.
”That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Anne teases me and I throw a cushion at her head but she catches it with a laugh.
”I am actually surprised how good I was,” I tell them.
”Didn’t the make out scenes make you jealous Matt?” Martin asks my fiancé.
”I’ve seen this movie so many times that I actually don’t care anymore.”
”Are you a fan of Darlene?” Anne starts to question him. ”Did you imagine kissing her before you met her?”
I laugh when I see Matt blush.
”Be honest,” I tell him sweetly and kisses his cheek. ”I am dying to hear your love for me.”
”I did imagine a lot of things, but none of them ever dared to think this far. Holding her pregnant body in my arms with her family around me, that is above my wildest dreams actually. I am so happy right now that Molly isn’t only the love of my dreams anymore.”
”Please tell us how the two of you met!” Bree wonders. ”You never told us the story.”
”Molly is a bit shy, so I better tell you.” Matt says and I have to cover up my own blush. ”We sort of just ran into each other. It was love at first sight. She was just herself with no signs of Darlene but she didn’t fool me. I fell for the real her though and she really wasn’t anything I pictured her to be. I was too scared to tell her I recognised her and she was too scared to tell me the truth too. So our relationship was awkward so to say but we just can’t keep our hands off each other. As the obvious result of our feelings.” He claps my belly lovingly and I take that same hand and put my lips in his palm in a sweet kiss.
”That’s quite a sweet story,” Anne says. ”When did you two actually admit the truth to each other?”
”A few months ago, the same day we promised to marry each other.” I tell them nervously. ”I was in a shock that Matt knew but he’s way too good for me.”
”You are perfect for me,” he says lovingly.
”This is still new for me,” my father says sadly. ”I am really happy that you cherish my daughter Matt. All my children grew up so fast. You really are something special Molly, I’m happy your mother saw that and made sure you would chase your dreams.”
”Thank you dad. Mom really will be proud of us all three whatever we achieve in life. Bree, thank you for being a mom for us.”
”Don’t mention it honey,” she says with teary eyes. ”Oh dear, I think we all need ice-cream!”
We all agree and I look into Matt’s eyes and I can swim in the love I see there. I just know that I never want this to end. Seeing myself with Jamie in that movie didn’t tear up any wounds inside of me. I just hope my dad will get used to the thought soon. Other than that, I can’t wait to start holding concerts again. It itches inside of me to go on stage and I can’t neglect my restless emotions. I wonder how our lives will look like. Will Matt be strong enough to handle it?