It was hard to pretend he wasn't really there because there was no way anyone could miss him.
David looked completely out of place with his blond hair and pale skin and his height in a room with a low ceiling but my heart still jumped in my chest, so hungry for the sight of him after more than a week's absence.
He slowly rose, a smile on his tired face. He wasn't wearing a business suit this time. He was in a plain blue shirt and jeans, looking ten years younger. Even his smile seemed younger.
"Hello, Diana," he said quietly, his forehead wrinkling as if he wasn't sure what my reaction would be.
And my mother probably sensed that I couldn't decide yet how to react exactly so she clapped her hands to get everyone's attention. She even spoke in English this time—thick with her Filipino accent and sounding just a little self-conscious. "Well, now that everyone's here, we can have dinner. I made Diana's favorite dishes which David told us are also his favorites. You will have to stay and join us, David."
My mother, shorter than me by at least four inches, easily commanded a yes from six-foot-tall David. My siblings cheered, Luis saying he'd been starving for a while now, and Abigail bumping me in the arm and giving me a meaningful smile on her way to the dining table.
My mother guided David to a chair next to mine as we all crowded around the small table with Luis having to bring in an extra stool for himself. The table was set casually the way most Filipinos would and I wondered what David would think of the absence of dinner knives and the pairing of spoons and forks instead. Or the possibility of one or two of us just eating with our bare hands as some Filipinos did. Casual dining couldn't get any more casual in this country. Abigail said the prayers and in less than five minutes, the table was erupting with dinner chatter.
"Don't be mad at me," David whispered as he leaned in to me in the act of reaching for the bowl of rice.
"I'm not mad at you," I said, shaking my head a little. "I'm just not sure if this is a dream."
Underneath the table, I felt his hand take mine and squeeze it. "It's not a dream, Diana. I'm really here."
At that reassurance, I slowly came back to my normal self. My family was having a great time at dinner, entertaining David with stories mostly about me, and even speaking in English for his benefit. Even my father, still unable to speak, had a smile in his eyes as he listened to us.
"You know I love your cooking," David whispered to me again just as we were finishing our food. "But your mother's cooking is waaaaay better."
I burst out laughing, finally snapping out of the last of my shock. David grinned, his blue eyes sparkling in the dim fluorescent light of our tiny dining room.
"Let's go walk in the backyard," I told David after dinner, when my mother shooed us away from trying to help put away the dishes. I ignored my mother and sister's teasing smiles as I led David away and through the back door that led us to our small yard with patches of grass here and there and a thin fence made of bamboo. The evening air was still warm, the skies full of stars.
"So, tell me," I said as I made my way to the wood and rope swing my father had made me years ago hanging from the branch of our old tamarind tree. "What are you doing here?"
"Well, I've heard so much about the world-renowned Philippine beaches and thought I'd check them out. I haven't gone on vacation in a long time," he said in a perfectly serious tone even though I could tell he was teasing.
I raised a brow. "We're not really close to those world-renowned beaches you mean so you might be in the wrong city."
"Fine," he said with a shrug. "I'll visit the beaches later. I'm here for the people. Filipinos are known to be extremely friendly and hospitable. I met so many of them last week when I was trying to track you down. Everyone in Prestige Services was very nice to me, by the way."
I felt a rush of joy at his admission that he went out of his way to look for me but I couldn't say anything when he came closer to me, his hand touching my face. "But as much as I'm here for the people, I'm really here for one woman—the one who'd stolen my heart one sticky note at a time."
I took a deep breath, the pain of leaving him behind coming back to me all at once. "David, I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you but I had to go."
"I know that, darling," he said, his smile full of understanding. "I know you needed to be here. I had no problem with that. And in a way, I'm glad you left when you did. When I thought I'd never see you again, I realized that the one thing I wanted the most in the world was a life with you. So I came here."
As much as his words sent my heart racing, I had to stay logical—at least long enough to understand exactly what we were getting ourselves into. "How do you know you're not making a mistake? You haven't known me for that long, David. Despite the time we spent together, I don't know that you know exactly what you're signing up for."
David's smile was patient, as if he understood my confusion which frustrated me because wasn't he supposed to be confused too?
"Being a lawyer, I'm a very logical person, Diana," he said. "And while I'm very good at being a lawyer, it hasn't made me as happy as you have. So I'm not going to be a lawyer about this. I'm going to be just a man who had fallen for a woman long before he met her. It doesn't matter how long I've known you—I would've felt the same way. And I would've still made the decision to come here for you."
Yes, your honor.
My tears were about to fall but I blinked them back, trying to calm my heart as it tried to break free of my chest. "Well, now that you're here, you've seen my life. You've met my family. You've seen my home. A life with me, David, will have to include all of this because no matter where I end up, I'll always be a part of this family. I'll be there for them through thick and thin and I know that sometimes, that's too much for someone to take on."
David kissed my forehead and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me close against him. "Your family is welcome to our lives, Diana. I wish I had the kind of family you have. I've gone on too long without being part of one and I wouldn't want you to lose any of that love and laughter I saw you share earlier tonight."
I closed my eyes and leaned against David's chest, happy and torn at the same time. "Do you love me that much?"
He kissed the top of my head. "That and more."
I peeked up at him. "I love you, too, you know?"
He smiled. "I'm very happy to hear that. I was afraid I'd get here and you'd be so mad that you'll tell me to go back home."
I laughed. "You did take me by surprise. But my family seems to like you very much."
"If they do, then I'm very lucky," he said. "They're very important to you. I would want them to be happy for you."
As much as that statement touched me, it brought me back to reality.
While it felt glorious to be in David's arms like this, finally able to say what's been growing in my heart for some time now, I knew that coming clean with this meant making a decision.
I couldn't find the words to say yet but David must've seen something in my expression. "Don't give me an answer right now, Diana. It's your life and as much as I'd like to share it with you, I want you to choose for yourself this time. Not for me, or for your family, but for yourself. Choose what will make you happy and those of us who love you will be happy for you no matter what."
It meant a lot to me because it's been a long time since I had a real choice in where life takes me next. Choosing to stay here would be choosing to let David go. Choosing David would be choosing to live a life far away from my home and family.
And maybe if David and I had met under more normal circumstances, we wouldn't have had to rush into this decision. We could've taken our time, become a more conventional couple who went out on the usual dates and waited to make a decision that will impact our lives permanently.
But we weren't a normal couple—we were two people who had to know early on that we were both serious enough about this to put in the kind of commitment needed for someone to completely change their life over from one country to the another. We were two people who knew each other probably better than some couples who'd been together far longer did. We were two people who hadn't expected to find love and happiness but recognized them almost instantly when they came our way.
David was right.
It didn't matter how long we'd known each other—we would've felt the same way.
Now, it was just a matter of deciding whether what we felt for each other was enough to change both our futures.
"I'm staying at a hotel nearby for the next three weeks," David said as he lifted my hand and kissed the back of it. "I'll come and see you every day, spend time with your family, get to know you and the parts of your life that make you who you are. I'll be here until you're ready with an answer."
And he sure was.
David came every single day.
He'd helped out a few times at the carinderia when it got busy around lunch time, handing out plates to customers and even chatting with some of them, even if some people struggled speaking in English. He'd quickly picked up a lot of Tagalog words though, thanks to my sister who'd been coaching him even if he still retained much of his North American accent. My brother had initiated him on a lot of Filipino games—from sungka, to sipa—even spider-wrestling although I didn't think he enjoyed having a spider crawl up his arm a few times. He had watched a Pacquiao match with the entire family, even telling us the trivia that crime rate in Metro Manila was down to almost nothing whenever there was a boxing match featuring Manny Pacquiao. We could've told him that ourselves.
He'd let my mother show him almost half a dozen photo albums of me and my siblings growing up, of clippings of my printed articles in the school paper and all my awards and certificates. He'd gone to the wet market with me early in the morning a few times to get some ingredients for my mother's menu for the day. He'd join us for dinner and even sit with my father watching the news while I helped my mother in the kitchen. My father still couldn't talk, using just his notepad to communicate if he absolutely had to, but David would continue to chat with him quietly, knowing that just because my father couldn't speak, it didn't mean he couldn't listen. He'd even sat with the family to watch the primetime teleseryes, observing in amusement that he could understand at least half of what the actors were saying since the language was heavily Tag-Lish, a combination of Tagalog and English words. And almost every evening, before heading home, David would step out to the backyard with me and we'd just talk about anything.
One might say that he was doing all of this to impress me—and maybe in a way he was—but I could tell that David was enjoying every second of it. His skin had gotten a warm tan, his hair showed lighter blonde streaks from the sun, and he generally just seemed younger, more playful. Happier.
"You do know that the man is in love with you, right?" my mother asked one late morning, out of the blue, when I was helping her package some of the food she'd prepared for a small, family get-together we were planning for later today, after Luis's graduation.
She had managed to hold back questions about me and David since he arrived a couple weeks ago, content with my explanation as to how I met him and who we were to each other while I was in Canada. My mother, like most, was naturally curious but she surprised me by never having once pressured me about David. At this point, I wasn't surprised she wanted to know where this was all going eventually.
"Yes, I do," I told her.
"And? What are you going to do about it?" she asked as she scooped the sweet Filipino spaghetti she'd made into a large plastic container.
"I don't know yet," I admitted, sighing and finally allowing myself the chance to say out loud the thoughts that had been occupying my head the last two weeks. "It's not a decision I can make in an instant."
My mother set aside the food and turned to face me. "Do you know what I think, Diana?"
My mother was probably the wisest, strongest woman I know. I could use a little advice from her. "What do you think, Nay?"
She smiled and took my hands in hers. "I think you already know what you really want but you're holding back because of what you imagine to be your responsibility to us."
"I didn't imagine this responsibility, Nay. It's real. I worked in Canada for almost three years because of it."
My mother sighed. "I know and all of us will be forever grateful for all that you've done for this family. But we have just as much responsibility to you, Diana. Our responsibility is to ensure that you are also happy. And if that happiness is going to be with David, in a faraway country, then so be it. So what if you live in a different country? So what if it won't be easy to see or talk to each other? So what? It doesn't change the fact that we're family. We've done it before and we can still do it again."
Tears formed in my eyes even as I smiled at my mother's stubborn declaration.
"I'll be so far away from you and Tatay," I attempted to argue. "What if you need me? What if Luis or Abigail run into problems? What if—"
My mother shook my shoulders this time. "Diana! You're twenty-five. You're young and beautiful and smart and incredibly strong and we're very proud of you. The last thing we need is for you to spend the rest of your life worrying about us. Your siblings are all done with college, all grown up and capable of taking care of themselves. Your father and I may be getting older but we'll keep surviving all the ups and downs as we have in the last thirty years. Stop worrying about us."
I opened my mouth to say something but my mother just kept going. "We will definitely miss not seeing you every day but that's better than seeing you every day and knowing you're not happy. Don't worry about keeping in touch. We've managed that in the last three years. We can call each other, your siblings can write emails for me and your father, and they can set up the video chat for us. They're good with these high-tech things."
I laughed knowing how much my mother hated learning how to use email or the webcam no matter how much my siblings tried to teach her.
"And don't worry about big financial emergencies. We've survived on global money transfers all this time and have always found it quick and easy. But I don't want you to keep sending us all your money. Save it especially if you're going to start your own family."
It's been a long time since my mother ever had to be a strict parent like this to me and I'd missed it. "And if I do start my own family, how will you see your grandchildren?"
Her eyes instantly glowed at the mention of grandchildren. "You can always visit us every now and then. And who knows? Maybe we'll go to Canada someday. Your father won't like the cold but I would like to see snow before I die."
This time, I burst out laughing.
I hugged my mother and she patted my shoulder, her tone softer now. "The point is, Diana, that we want you to be happy. Don't be afraid of not being home. Home is wherever your heart is and you have a home both with us and with David."
We were both a mess from crying and laughing together but I didn't mind. My heart felt a lot looser in my chest as if the chains that held it back had somehow disappeared. I helped my mother finish packing up before I made my way to the living room.
I stopped at the scene before me—David teaching Luis how to do his tie in front of the mirror by the front door while my father watched from the other side of the room.
I smiled and crouched down next to my father's wheelchair.
"Tay, would you be okay if I decide to spend my life with David in Canada?" I asked him quietly, putting a hand over his arm. My father's head slowly turned toward me, no understandable words coming out of his mouth even though his eyes were tender. His fingers grasped for the pencil pinned to the notepad he carried on his lap nowadays and started to write in shaky strokes. I waited patiently until he moved his hand away so I could read the note.
He asked for your hand and I said yes. Be happy, Diana.
I wouldn't have any more makeup left on my face for Luis's graduation so I blinked my tears back as my father went back to write more.
He said the wedding can be here so we can be part of it.
"Oh, goodness," I muttered up, fighting a fresh batch of tears. I normally didn't get this emotional but today had just felt like I was being released from the past so I could walk into the future. "I'm glad you've already agreed on the arrangements although he could've asked me first before asking my entire family."
I wasn't really angry.
How could you be angry at a man who made every effort to reassure you that he loved and accepted every part of who you are and did his best to preserve it?
"Thank you, Tay," I whispered to my father as I kissed his cheek. "Thank you for raising me to know just how important love is and how it can get you through the best and worst that life has to bring."
I got back on my feet, fixing the skirt of the simple old rose-colored dress I decided to wear for my brother's graduation. Feeling a little shy, I tucked my hair behind my ear and slowly approached David and my brother.
"Your tie looks perfect, Luis," I said, smiling at how grown up my brother looked in his formal wear.
He flushed even though he looked quite proud of himself. "Thanks, Ate."
Ate meant sister in Tagalog.
I pointed him to the stairs. "Now, go get your grad gown and cap so we can be on our way. You don't want to be late."
"I'm going," he grumbled before dashing up the stairs.
I finally glanced at David and saw that he was looking at me, smiling as he took in my appearance. "You look lovely, Diana. Most importantly, you look happy."
I grinned and took a step closer to him. "I am happy. And you're to blame for it."
His smile widening, he raised a brow at me. "Oh, yeah? Then sue me."
I laughed at the corny comeback before I raised on my toes and put my arms around his neck. "You know, I remember that you're waiting for an answer. But it's really hard to answer a question if it's never been asked."
For a moment, he looked confused and I could see him replaying our entire dialogue that first night he showed up at my house. He told me what he wanted, what he'd hoped for, but he actually never quite asked.
This time, his smile was so bright when he put his arms around me, pressed his forehead against mine and murmured, "Diana, will you share the future with me? Will you fill my house with your cooking, your smiles, your laughter, your love?"
I laughed. "With sticky notes, too?"
He laughed as well. "I'll buy you enough supply to last us a lifetime."
My heart swelled inside my chest so much I thought it would burst out of me when I took a deep breath and let the words out. "Before you got here, I'd already decided to stay in Canada for another year. My boss was going to start my paperwork. I wanted to see if life would take me somewhere new without you or if it was just going to bring me straight back into your heart if you could still find a place for me in it."
"You don't just have a place in it, Diana," he said. "You have all of it."
I grinned at his oh-so serious tone as if no one could argue his declaration. "So my answer is yes, David. I'll share the future with you because it's the only future I can see where we're both happy and I want nothing else for us but that."
The man didn't waste time savoring my answer because he quickly leaned down to kiss me.
I only started laughing against his lips when I heard happy clapping and cheering. David pulled back quickly, his cheeks turning a little pink. I wasn't sure if it was because he thought my family was too conservative for that kiss or because he wasn't used to such public displays of affection himself.
My mother was smiling and crying at the same time, my siblings were both beaming at me, and even my father's eyes were shiny with tears. None of us needed to explain what just happened—somehow, I felt my family already knew what path I was going to choose.
"Ate," said Luis in a teasing tone. "I thought you didn't want us to be late."
David laughed and I just shook my head at my brother before I pointed everyone to the door like a little general.
David and I were the last to exit the house and as we walked our way to the family AUV that would hardly fit all of us, our hands linked together, I whispered to him, "You know, I really missed my family but I think they're probably sick of me now. I think they won't mind if we spend our last week in the country checking out those beaches you said you came here for."
"We should start a list," David said with a smile. "After all, we'll be back a lot to visit."