Wednesday, March 21st, 2007, 11:07 AM
Everything hurts
I’m at the office. I feel like shit, but I’m at the office. Everything fucking hurts.
I woke up at 6:30, after a long, uncomfortable night where I had to sleep looking up at the ceiling, trying not to move at all. Whenever I tried to sleep on my side, like normal, it was automatically impossible from the horrible, punching pain running through my body. Besides, nightmares kept stalking me any time I managed to sleep, which woke me up more than once. A memorable night, right?
I look terrible, but fortunately, I work alone and I don’t have to see any clients today. My sunglasses protected me from prying eyes on my way into the office. And I wore my gloves, using the excuse that it’s finally cold again, which hid the bandages and Band-Aids on my hands. I saw people in the subway that looked way worse than me.
I left the house after a comforting shower, and, since I got up earlier than normal, I took a leisurely walk to the station. The fresh air and sea smell took me to heaven and totally cleared my mind.
While I walked, I started to remember what had happened yesterday, and engraved it in my mind. Now there’s no doubt: it really happened.
This leads me to the conclusion—and not for the first time—that I’m an idiot. I left just like that, like any normal day. I should have spoken with some neighbor before coming to work to find out how everything had ended up. Worry about the girl who I supposedly helped, about the boyfriend or husband—or whatever—who I think I left in pretty bad shape. And more than anything, find out if I’m going to have problems for what I did.
I decided that I’ll go home at noon and find out whatever I can. I’ll eat there, and then go back to the office in the afternoon. I’m not going to die from making four train trips in one day. Or, at least, I think so. Besides, that way I just might end up finishing reading The Stand.