"Love forgives everything. Love is always trusting, and always hoping, and never gives up."
She
It has been months since I had any sort of contact with him and in my anger I even deleted his contact from my contact list. I just did not know how to get to him and ask for the forgiveness of my deed.....but I knew I had to or this guilt would not let me survive....... every single day felt like a thousand dagger in my hearts.
I started digging on my contacts who knew him but unfortunately I could find just none. I wanted to talk him with the only hope of forgiveness, I knew I had lost my chase to have love in my life by not trusting him..... I just wanted to be free from my guilt of hurting him, of breaking his heart.....the more I thought the more I realized that maybe it was for good that he was gone, maybe he deserved someone better someone less stone hearted than me.
I tried everything in my capacity to find him to apologize but it appeared as if my fate even didn't want me to meet him, even my fate wanted me to suffer this loneliness, this guilt...... I was stating to loose hope when suddenly one day Shivi called and told me she met Shubham, Shiven's friend and he could help me getting to him, although he was pissed that I hurt his friend but he would give me a chance to apologize to him once. I didn't blame him for his resentment towards me as I deserved it. It was my fault after all and I would have done the same had anyone been like that with Shivi or Hemu so his resentment was understandable but I was also very thankful to him for giving me a chance to apologize to Shiven. He had asked Shivi and me to meet him at a coffee shop so that he could talk to me and only if he is satisfied that I deserve a chance he would let me contact Shiven. So I and Shivi went to meet him at the coffee shop.
Shubham came and we went inside and talked
"I hope you know I am not doing this for you" he said with resentment in his voice
"I know but I'm still thankful for your help" I told him.
"Ashi, he trusted you and you did hurt him by blaming him for something he never did", he accused me
"I know and I take complete responsibility for all this" I said again.
"You didn't even let him explain then so happed that you want to apologize now" I could see him not being able to trust me and who blamed him I brought this upon myself
"Lets just say I came to know the truth" I told him trying to be diabolic as I didn't want anyone to know my brother was behind all this.
I could see him being doubtful over my explanation and he was rightfully so as he had all the reasons not to trust me and I had no good enough reason to bring that back but I had to try to make amends, to reach to him to ask for his forgiveness and Shubham was my only hope. And so I tried
"Shubham I know you don't trust me and you have good enough reason not to but I want you to know that I know my mistake and I just one chance to make amends, I just want to apologize for hurting him just please let me atleast try to make make things better....... I feel guilty for all I have done to him, I just want him to know that I regret it.....please just trust me once" I pleaded with him
"you are damn right I don't trust you, because of you Shiven has been going through hell, I have never seen him so broken. It was all because of you but I he deserves a closure and you deserve a chance so I'm going to help you but make sure that you don't end up hurting him again or I might not be so forgiving next time" he warned me.
"I will talk to him and tell you when you can meet him" and with that he left.
I was relived hearing that he would help. Atleast I had a positive start somewhere. But I was waiting for the worst as I knew that I had hurt him too deep to earn his forgiveness that easily. And the same question did not let me sleep again at night-
"Will he forgive me...!!"
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