Megan Crawford.
Monday, July 6th 2015.
11:36.
Kyle and I were alone in The Book Escape.
Aria had left a few minutes before, since she had gone with her boyfriend to a restaurant for brunch. I had not known that she had been in a relationship with someone, but apparently, she and Jake had been together for a few months.
I was not too happy about the thought of being alone with Kyle. I knew that he would want me to talk to him, when really; all I wanted to do was read my book, Jane Eyre, in silence.
Since the day at the antique store, I had told myself that I would ignore him. I just could not handle so much stress, I had enough to worry about with my family and my friends, and I could not manage him too.
"Meg, do you want any coffee?" he offered all of a sudden. He was standing with his hands in his pockets on the other side of the store. I looked up from my book and slanted my head to the side as I thought about it for a moment.
He had not called me any pet names, which was so strange. I actually thought that the sound of my name on his lips was quite pleasant, since he had never really been one to call me by that. I was supposed to stay away from him, but he had been so polite, and I did want coffee.
I rose to my feet and left my book on the chair before I walked towards Kyle. I made my way towards the counter with the coffee and the pastries, since he was now standing behind it. I rested my elbows on the wood and my chin on my hands as I gave him a small smile.
"What would you want?" he asked as he walked around behind the counter and he picked up a few packages of milk and sugar for the coffee he was about to make.
"I always have black coffee," I told him in a quiet voice as I gave him a shrug. He nodded his head a few times and started to gather the ingredients he would use.
"Good choice," he said as he turned on the coffee maker. I grinned as I stared at him, despite my bad feelings towards him. He was being so proper, and I was curious as to how much time he would last without being arrogant to me. I was not so sure why he was so considerate and respectful at the moment, but I did not care as long as he did not annoy me.
"Why are you being considerate?"
He smiled at me in a sweet manner, turning around as he kept his blue eyes on me. He pressed his back against a table behind him and glanced down at the floor for a moment. He confessed, "Because I want you know that I am not always a bastard."
"Most of the time you are," I pointed out as I brushed a strand of my brown hair behind my ear. I looked at him put the ingredients of the coffee together and I was surprised to see that he really seemed to know what he was doing.
"I am not, I am so offended that you think that, Megan," he chuckled. But then his expression turned serious and his tone seemed sincere and honest as he told me, "If you knew me better, you would realize that I am actually a pretty good person."
"I really doubt that," I argued. He pressed the button of the coffee maker and glanced at me from behind his shoulder. He bit his lip as he stared at me, as if thinking hard about something. I slanted my head to the side and was about to ask him what was wrong, when he spoke.
"Why do you even hate me so much?" His voice was soft and not at all vain and conceited, the way it always was. He was not just asking to annoy me; he really wanted to know what my problem was.
Part of me hated him because of how arrogant he was. But another part of me just had trouble trusting him. Kyle had a bad reputation, he slept with Ava for nothing but pleasure and he was a player that thought he could break my heart.
But even if he had not been a heartbreaker, I would not have had faith in him. I just did not trust anyone; that was just the way I was. I could never be open and share secrets with someone, all of that was too hard for me. I did not expect anything from anyone because I did not want to be hurt and disappointed.
I thought that the reason for that was my father. I had trusted him with everything I had and he had left me and my family all alone and broken. He had not cared enough about me, and that had almost destroyed me. I could not let that happen again.
Kyle wanted to break down my walls and I could not let him. I knew his intentions were bad, he wanted to be amused for a moment before he could take me down. I could not fall for his sweet words and warm smiles, he was intriguing, but I was strong enough to stay away from him.
"I have believed in liars before," I said in that moment. I had to drag myself out of my trance, because I had been staring at the wall with a blank look on my expression. "But I know better now than to think you will ever keep a promise you make."
"How are you so sure I am a liar?" Kyle wondered.
"You think you are too good for this world. You think you deserve the best," I replied as he turned the coffee maker off and took the pot on his hands. "You believe that you are so amazing that every girl will fall in love with you. But the thing is that I will not."
"How can I change your mind?" His smile was wide as he spoke and I rolled my eyes at him. Kyle seemed to be so certain that he could make me like him, and it was so ridiculous to me.
"Perhaps you could start telling the truth," I said, as if that was so hard. But really, to him, that was probably very difficult to do. I could not imagine him being honest with anyone, not even to someone that he cared about, let alone myself.
"I can tell you anything you want," Kyle told me.
I had to think for a moment about what I would ask him. I doubted he would really tell me anything true about himself, which was why I decided to make a simple question first. I shrugged my shoulders and wondered, "What music do you listen to?"
"That is an easy one. Music from the 90s, Nirvana," he replied. He poured some coffee on two cups. He took them in his hands and walked away from behind the counter. He sat down on one of the tables and nodded towards the seat across from him.
"What is your favorite book?" I sat down on a chair as well, with a small smile on my lips. I was surprising myself really, since I was actually having a talk with him in which I did not want to show him my middle finger.
"The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald," Kyle said with a sparkle in his blue eyes. I still could not believe that he read such good books, he had to be very smart and mature to be interested in that read.
"You really don't seem to be the type to read classics," I admitted as I took the cup in front of me in my hands and took a sip. The warm coffee was delicious, I was taken aback that he had made something so good. The taste was perfect; I had to take another sip.
"Well," Kyle expressed as he scratched the back of his neck. "When my parents died, I started to read a lot. My father owned so many books and I just didn't want them to go to waste."
The room went silent. I had not known about that, he had never spoken to me about something so somber. I could not believe that he had said it in such a casual and sudden way, as if the tragedy was not important. His parents were dead and he had just shared that with me, I had to show him somehow that I was saddened to hear something so bad.
And I did, I took his hand in mine and intertwined our fingers together. I felt the warmth of his skin against mine and looked into his beautiful blue eyes. I tried to tell him through my expression that I was truly sorry.
I was always upset at everyone and everything because of my broken family. I always thought that I was so unfortunate, that I deserved more than what I had. But Kyle did not have either of his parents and he seemed to be fine with that, he seemed to be happy. I felt so dumb and embarrassed.
"I'm really, really sorry. I didn't know."
Then, he slanted his head to the side in confusion. It took him a moment to realize that he had just said what he had said, and he shook his head several times and covered his eyes with his hands. He looked back up at me and gave me an apologetic look. "Oh, I didn't mean to blurt that out. I am so sorry if I made you uncomfortable."
"It is fine, you just caught me off guard," I assured him. The tension between us was clear and I could tell that the both of us felt awkward. But then, in a quiet voice, I added, "I would never have the courage to say something so serious to you."
"There is nothing brave about me telling you. But that proves that I can be honest," Kyle told me with a shrug. I nodded my head and took a sip of my coffee. He explained, "Both of my parents were in a car accident when I was eleven and they died. It was terrible and I miss them, but I am still alive."
"I'm sorry something so bad happened to you," I expressed. I very much meant what I was saying, because nobody deserved to go through such a disaster. It must have been very hard for him to move on with his life after that, and I admired him. Even if he said that telling me did not make him bold, I disagreed.
"Thank you." Kyle drank the rest of his coffee in silence and I did too. For some reason, I thought that I understood him better now and knew why he was the way he was. Perhaps it was because I did not have one of my parents and I sort of got how he felt.
"What is your story?" he wondered. It was almost as if he had read my mind, as if he had known all along that I had a story to tell as well, that my father was not around. But I played dumb, because I did not want to confess to him that I had a soft spot too.
"Excuse me?"
"I told you something very personal about my life. I think you should tell me something about yours, to be even," he said as he raised his eyebrows. His reasoning was foolish, because I did not owe him anything and we both knew that. But a part of me wanted to tell him, which was why I did just that.
I took a breath and said to him what I had not spoken in so much time. I admitted to him, the boy that I was quite sure wanted to break my heart, that there was a part of me that was weak and fragile.
"My father left my family for another woman. He cheated on my mother for years before he decided that he wanted to leave us. He just drove away from my sisters, my mother and I when I was ten and we never saw him again. Hell, I don't even know the name of his new wife."
It was difficult to say the words out loud, but I managed. I saw his expression turn soft, and since we were still holding hands, he squeezed mine. I gave him the smallest of smiles as I looked down at the table. I shook my head and said in a silent tone, "Could you not say anything? That was hard enough to say,"
"Of course," he agreed, almost right away. Then he bit his lip to try and hold back a grin as he said, "But if it is of any help, you should know that anyone who would leave you is an idiot. You are amazing."
"Thank you," I said in an honest nature. I loosened my grip on his hand and ran my palm down the fabric of my denim jeans, since my skin had just started to sweat from the nerves he gave me. "That is really sweet of you."
"You have more than one sister, then?" Kyle exclaimed, changing the topic to something much less serious. "You said he drove away from your mother, your sisters and you. You don't just have Catherine for a sister."
"Oh, that's right," I said with a nod of my head. "I have a twenty-three year old sister named Chloe. She goes to college in the University of Columbia."
"Oh, I have a few friends that attend that school," he told me as he nodded his head. It took me a moment to understand what he meant, but then, I realized that he did not go to high school anymore. I felt my cheeks turn warm and I shook my head as I glanced down at the table.
"I forget you are in college," I admitted to him with a soft chuckle. From the corner of my eye, I could see that he now had a small grin on his expression and he rested his elbows on the table and stared at me with his ocean blue orbs.
"Do you feel intimidated?" he wondered. His tone was conceited and superior, but I did not feel bothered towards him, because I knew that he was just being dumb. I rolled my eyes at him before I assured him that I would never feel daunted because of him.
"No, just young, I guess," I said as I shrugged my shoulders. Then, I realized that I did not even know his age, and I looked up at him with a curious and inquisitive gaze. "How old are you anyway?"
"Nineteen." Kyle was silent for a moment as I thought about what he had just said. I was just seventeen, and he was probably much more mature than I was, even though I would never tell that to him. It was strange to me, but then, he went on, "I am not that much older than you, actually. I'm about to become a sophomore and you are about to become a senior, I think."
"Yes," I assured him. "Anyways, what college do you attend?"
"NYU," he replied in a simple manner with a shrug. I looked up at him when he said that, I was just so taken aback. He seemed to realize that my reaction had been surprised because he chuckled and wondered, "Why did your eyes widen?"
"Because that is where I want to go!" I responded. I could not believe that I wanted to go to the same college Kyle went to, but I had wanted that for so much time. For some reason I could not explain, that school had always had my attention, and I wanted to be a student there someday.
"That is wonderful! I would love to see you around there," Kyle told me with a wink. I was about to open my mouth to tell him something foolish about how I would not be so happy about that, when I heard a noise. It came from the other side of the room, from my phone. It was my alarm, the one that told me that my shift in the store was over.
I turnen to look at my phone and pointed towards it. Kyle seemed to realize that it was time for me leave, because he looked down at the watch on his wrist. I reached out to grab my purse and told him, "I better get home,"
He took my hand in his and gave me a hopeful look. He pouted out his lips and stared at me as if pleading me to stay with him. I could not say no to him when he looked so adorable and vulnerable, which is why I nodded my head when he said, "You should stay for a moment. Come on, we are having an incredible talk."
"Fine, but just a few minutes," I agreed, because to be honesty, I had not much else to do at home and I was having a wonderful morning with him. I had never expected to appreciate the minutes that I spent around him, I was supposed to hate him, after all. But at the time, I could not think straight, not when he was being such a gentleman.
Kyle and I spoke about so many different things for another few minutes. He told me about his favorite movies and why he had seen them thousands of times before, and he was so excited as he talked to me about Silence of the Lambs. He told me about the season of the year he loved the most, which was spring, since he he thought the weather was just marvelous. He told me that the dessert he was most in love with was lemon pie, said his mother used to make the tastiest one he had ever tried.
Kyle made me laugh out with his absurd jokes and smile with his sweet words. He made me change my mind, he made me believe that perhaps, he truly could be a pleasant person. I was not certain of my feelings towards him now, maybe he could become my friend soon. I almost stayed with him longer than I should have, but I saw the time on the clock at the wall and I gasped when I realized that it was much later than I thought.
"I really should leave now," I said then, offering him a look that told him I was sorry about leaving him alone. "I promised my mother to make lunch for her and my sister and I would hate to disappoint her. Besides, she has been working very hard in the hospital and I need to make sure she rests."
"That is very thoughtful of you, Meg," he assured me with a grin. He crossed his arms over his chest as he stared at me with a pensive expression. "It is amazing to know that you care about your family so much. I knew that you were more than just a cold and tough girl. You are actually sweet."
"Well, I could tell you the same thing, Kyle," I admitted as I grabbed my purse and started to walk towards the back of the store, where I had left my phone. I spoke in a loud voice as I made my way around. "I had lost all hope in you, but today you were quite okay. You did not once call me an annoying name or make me angry. You are more than just a conceited boy."
"Why thank you," he chuckled as I went back to where he was, only to see him picking up the two cups of coffee we had drunk together. H placed them both in the sink as he peeked at me from behind his shoulder. "But truly, today was good. We should talk to each other more often."
"Maybe we should," I agreed as I brushed a strand of brown hair behind my ear. I could not believe that I was saying those words, that was not at all me. But I could not help it, I thought that that side of him was so lovely and delightful, and I hoped that he would stay that way, because if he was as sweet as he had been that day, I sure wanted to speak more often to him.
Kyle walked back towards me and away from the counter. He smiled as he took a step forward and enveloped me in a hug, of course I had not and been expecting that, and my breath hitched in my throat. His touch could make so anxious, and I just did not understand why. My body tensed and I did not return his embrace as I shook my head.
"What the fuck are you doing?" I wondered with a nervous snicker as I broke our hug. "It is so strange when you hug me. You did the same the other day and it was way too awkward. I hate it when people are comfortable with me when I am not with them."
"You love my hugs," Kyle said in a dismissive nature as he waved his hand at me. I could feel my heartbeat in my chest, so loud and quick. I told myself to calm down, because after all, he had done nothing more than just hug me. "You just say that you hate them because I make you nervous. And I make you nervous because you are attracted to me."
I hated the fact that he thought he had me figured out when I did not even understand my own mind. My thoughts were scattered and I could not possibly know if my nervous attitude was because of him. But either way, I would not admit to anything, which was why I shook my head many times and told him in a quiet tone, "That is ridiculous."
How he could read my mind in such a simple way was a mistery to me, I would never get how he could see right through me. He leaned down to my ear the way he had done thousands of times before already, and said in that flirtatious and conceited tone of his that made my knees feel weak and a shiver run down my spine, "Please, love, you are in love with me already."
For a moment, I was speechless. I did not know what I could reply to that, my respond would definitely come out stuttered and nervous. I knew that I was not in love with him, not even close, but there was a possibility that maybe, he made me feel some sort of way. I had no clue of how to explain my feelings, not even to myself. He seemed to notice that I had nothing to say to that, because he placed his hand on my shoulder and said in a serene nature, "I am just messing with you. Thank you for today."
I still was not sure of what to say, and I could only nod my head once. I started to walk backwards towards the door, with my purse and phone on my hands. I looked down at the floor and avoided his gaze because of how embarrassing it was that he had actually made me think that I was attracted to him. I scratched the back of my neck as I opened the glass door of the store and stepped outside. I waved at him and said, "You're welcome, I guess."
I took a breath and felt the fresh air of the small town in my body. I could not understand why Kyle could make feel so strange at times, but I tried to push my thoughts about him away from my head.
But for some reason, all I could think about was how good his arms felt around me.
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