A/N: Chapter Fourteen is written, and ready to upload. But... I'm not going to upload it until this chapter get's at least 20 reads, so go share the book with your friends and help me get noticed. Thanks.
I sit in my bed hugging my knees together, I can’t go to sleep because every time I close my eyes, I see Amo Hamada with a smile on his face. I let a few tears drop from my eyes before I get out of bed. I walk down to the kitchen to see Jihad getting a snack. Once he hears me crutch my way in he turns around surprised. “Sara, what are you doing out of bed so early?” He asks concerned.
“Couldn’t sleep.” Is all I tell him while grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks looking at me concerned.
I look at him and shake my head. “What’s there to talk about? He’s dead, he’s not coming back.” I say with a frown on my face.
“Sara, you know I care about you right?” He asks. I nod my head to answer his question. “And you could talk to me about anything, so if something upsets you, see me as a friend. I’ll be there for you.” He tells me walking up to me.
I pull him into a hug and cry into his shoulders and he just rubs my back comfortably. “I miss him so much.”
“I know you do, he was there for you for most of your life, it’s totally understanding, but he’s in a better place now. And you have all of us for you when you’re going through a hard time like this.” He whispers in my ear as I let out a choked sob.
“It’s just so hard. I just wished I called to check on him more often, I didn’t even know he was sick. He was so healthy when I lived there, and then all the sudden he dies of a heart attack? It doesn’t make sense.” Jihad let’s go the hug and puts his hand on my shoulder.
“It’s hard, I know, but it happens to everyone. There was nothing you could do to stop it from happening. Everything is written, so just embrace the good memories you had of him. That’s all you could do for him.” He tells me wiping at both my eyes with his thumb. “You can’t always cry, you just have move on. Yeah you grew up with him, he practically raised you, but you had to move on with your life. You have your whole family here to help you through this tough time. I’m here for you, and as I can see, so is Troy.” He jokes.
I shove his shoulders and roll my eyes. “This isn’t a time to joke around. So just stop.” I say looking to the floor.
“I’m not kidding, that kid really cares about you. I don’t why he does, but how could you not tell, he was there for you when I couldn’t be. Don’t ignore it, because if one thing leads to another he’ll think you’re leading him on. He really likes you. Even baba knows.”
“How can he like me? I mean look at me. I’m a broken girl.” I say.
“You’re not broken, things happen in life, it’s a test. Don’t treat life like a joke, don’t ignore Troy just because he likes you. I don’t know how he’ll act if you don’t talk to him again. But he does care about you.”
“Even if he did like me, nothing could happen between us, I’m Muslim.” I say crossing my arms.
“Doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to talk to him, going out is another story, and he already knows that. So just talk to him. Get to know him a little bit. If it works out he could always convert.”
“He won’t convert for a girl like me.” I say. “Well, this chat was nice, but I’m getting really sleepy. Goodnight Jihad.” I say giving him a short hug before crutching my way back to my room. I almost lose my balance on one of the steps and right before I fall back someone grabs onto me. Jihad helps me the rest of the way to my room and I thank him once he walks me to the bed. He places my crutches against the wall by my bed. He turns off the light on the way out, and I snuggle into my blanket trying to get comfortable.
~*~
“Sara, wake up.” I hear in my ears. “You’re going to be late to school if you don’t wake up in the next two minutes.” I open my eyes to see Jihad there shaking my shoulders. “You up? Good, go get dressed. I’m giving you five minutes before we have to leave. Everyone’s downstairs waiting for you.” He walks out letting me get dressed.
When I get downstairs, my mother hands me a bagel. “Are you sure you want to go in today habibti? You don’t have to go to school if you don’t want to.” She says looking at me with a hand on my shoulder. “Neither do you Tamara, if you girls want to take the day off I’m sure the school won’t mind.”
“Mama, I already missed two weeks of school because of the accident, I can’t miss any more days.” I tell her going into my closet to pick out a random outfit. I put on my baggy sweats, and I regular t-shirt and follow Jihad to the car. I guess Troy and Kevin are coming since they’re both here. “Shot gun.” I yell going up to the passenger’s door. I guess nobody cares since they all slide into the back seat. I place my backpack on my lap and place my bad leg on the dashboard.
“Sara, we’re here.” Troy says calmly opening the passenger door. I continue to stare off in front of me ignoring him. “Sara, are you okay?”
“I can’t go in there.” I whisper thinking of Amo Hamada. “How can I, the day after I find out something really bad.” I look away from him before letting the tear fall. I wipe at it angrily. I hate crying in front of people. I find it totally embarrassing, and here I am crying in front of Troy, the one rumored to like me. If it was any other day I would be laughing under the circumstances, but not today. Today I just want to sit in bed and cry over the death of one of the closest uncles, I ever had. “Why are you crying?” He asks.
“How am I going to step into the school and not cry in front of anyone? I know myself. I just can’t hold in my feelings anymore. I hate that I had to leave him. How could we not have gotten the call beforehand? I would have flown out and went to the funeral. It’s not fair that they treat me like a little girl all the time, nobody knew that it would affect me. But it does more than anything, I was the reason that he opened up the camp in the first place. He was there since day one. Where was I when he needed me? Living up the American dream, that’s what. And now I can’t get him back.” I start to cry even harder and I could tell that Troy is shocked because he only takes my hand in his.
“It gets easier as times goes by, you’ll have it easier than most people.”
“How do you know?” I ask wiping at my tears.
“I could tell you that for a fact. I lost my father last year, my father, the one person who I looked up to. The person I wanted to be when I grew up was my father. One day he’s there, one day he’s gone for good.” He tells me and I look at him surprised. “It wasn’t a heart attack or a sickness. In fact it wasn’t even a car accident. You want to know what happened?” He asks. I don’t do or say anything and he continues.
“He got shot. A shot straight to his heart. He died instantly. He wasn’t a bad guy at all. They never even caught the person that shot him. Turned out they were trying to get someone else but instead got my father.”
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry.” I say covering my mouth with my hands to muffle the gasp that I let out.
“You don’t have to apologize. The reason I’m telling you this is because I know firsthand what it’s like to lose someone close to you. But I could also tell you that it does get easier. It’s been a little more than a year ago. I think about him a lot. But I know he’s in a better place. It will get better for you. I could promise you that.” He says wiping at my dry eyes, which surprise me because he’s never touched me like this before, so I just take his hand and remove it gently. “Sorry, I forgot.” He says.
“You don’t need to apologize to me, I just don’t want to give you the wrong impression of me.” I say looking down at my feet.
“Let’s wait until the late bell rings. So that way you don’t have to walk with so many people in the halls. I’m sure the teacher will understand.” He says grabbing my hand.
“Are you guys coming?” Jihad says to us as he opens the school doors.
“I’m just going to walk her to class once the hall clears out.” Troy says and Jihad just nods his head understanding.