Dedicated too DyingToLive for making a lovely cover! Thanks!
Enjoy!!!
Chapter 16
He’s right, a voice whispered in my head, you had no right to tell him what to do. What do you know about being someone’s child? Your parents threw you away.
I swiped angrily at my cheeks with the back of my hand but the wetness was replaced quickly with fresh tears as I ran to my apartment, night falling around me. People stared at me as I passed but my vision was blurred by my tears and my mind was too occupied with hurt to notice or care.
I dropped my keys twice as I tried to unlock the door to my apartment building, making me sob out loud before another tenant opened it from the inside, staring at me with wide eyes as I ran past the elderly man and ran up the stairs, managing to unlock my door on my own, slamming it behind me as I sank to the floor and buried my face in my hands, sobs wracking my body as memories flooded my brain of that last night in the police station and the feeling of my heart breaking.
I crawled over to the record player, grabbing one of my Janis Joplin albums and setting the needle on it, trying to see clearly through my freely flowing tears. Finally I got it in position and her raspy voice filled my apartment. I lay flat on my back in the middle of the living room, letting Janis’ words flow over and through me. As I listened to her tales of love and heartbreak, my sobs settled down until I was crying silent tears, leaving two small puddles in the carpet beside my head.
I jumped when the buzzer went off but I didn’t move, knowing that it was Mac and not caring. I couldn’t look at him right now. I’d told him more about me than I’d told anyone and he threw it in my face. The buzzer rang a couple more times and each time, my heart thumped painfully in my chest, conflicting emotions raging inside of me. Logically, I knew he hadn’t meant to hurt me. I’d seen the way being near his mother had affected him and it was obvious that his emotions had gotten the better of him, making him say things without thought.
Emotionally, his words had hit me hard and I couldn’t forget about it just yet.
“Rose!” Mac’s voice said through my door before he started pounding on it. “Rose, let me in.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, causing a few more tears to leak out. “Go away, Mac. Please just leave.”
He didn’t say anything for a second and I opened my eyes again, looking towards the door wondering if he’d really left when he spoke again. “I can’t leave, Rose. I won’t leave until I can see you,” he said quietly but I heard him clearly.
I groaned, knowing he was telling the truth. He would camp out in front of my apartment door all night until I let him in. I lurched upward, getting to my feet slowly, my body feeling sore and drained from all the running and crying.
I yanked open the door, glaring at Mac through my tears as he stood there, his hair messier than usual, his indigo eyes bright with regret and apology. His forehead was creased in a frown as he looked down at me. “Rose, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking and I didn’t mean it.” He moved closer to me and I stepped back, feeling fresh tears gather in my eyes. “Please, Rose, I need you,” he said hoarsely, coming into my apartment fully and shutting the door behind him. “I wouldn’t have made it through tonight without you and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you.”
I looked up at him through my tears, wanting to launch myself into his arms and wanting to punch him in the face at the same time. “Whether you wanted to or not, you did hurt me, Mac,” I whispered, rubbing a hand across my cheeks in irritation. Where did all these tears come from?
“I know,” he said raggedly, his blue eyes sincere as he looked down at me, frowning deeply. “I’m so sorry, Rose. I don’t know what else to say. Please believe me,” he croaked, reaching a hand out to wipe my still falling tears from my cheek.
I closed my eyes for a second sucking in an unsteady breath as his touch sent tingles racing over my skin. “You were right,” I whispered brokenly.
“No,” he said firmly, bringing his free hand up to cup my other cheek and I opened my eyes, looking directly into his indigo gaze. “I was so wrong Rose. You’re an amazing person and your adoptive parents were idiots for letting you slip through their fingers. I don’t know anyone else who would sit beside me while I was at my worst and hold my hand the way you did tonight,” he said quietly. “I’ve never met anyone like you before and I don’t think I’ll ever meet anyone like you again. You’re incredible and if your adoptive parents or your agent couldn’t see that, then it’s their loss.”
I shook my head lightly, his hands moving with me. “I think you have a skewed view of me, Mac,” I croaked.
“I don’t. I know who you are, Rose so don’t argue with me.” He took a small step closer to me and I tilted my head back a little to keep our eyes connected. “I don’t know why you didn’t run away screaming when you first met me but you can’t change your mind now. You’re obligated to stick with me no matter what,” he whispered, lowering his head and planting a soft kiss at the corner of my eye just as a tear fell. He moved to my other eye and repeated the movement and I let out a soft sob.
“I didn’t sign any contracts,” I choked out.
He gave a short laugh that was more shaky than humorous. “I’ll draw it up right away,” he muttered, pulling me into a tight hug and I relaxed into him instantly feeling dead tired and completely drained.
We stood like that for a long time as Janis sang in the background about her man coming home to her, her smoky voice filled with emotion, making my heart swell with her feelings and my own as I leaned into Mac, letting my eyes drift closed and my anger and hurt fade away. Finally, I sighed, losing all tension in my shoulders and back and wrapped my arms around his waist, squeezing him as hard as my exhausted arms would let me.
He let out a long breath, resting his cheek against my head. “Please say you forgive me, Rose,” he said, his voice filled with uncertainty and fear. I pulled back slightly to look up at him. Our eyes connected and there was a bleak look in his gaze as his arms slowly loosened, letting me move back a little. “Rose,” he whispered, his Adam ’s apple bobbing as he swallowed nervously.
I gave him a shaky smile. “You cheated,” I whispered.
He frowned, looking at me in confusion. “What?”
“You cheated. You know I have a weakness for your hugs,” I said quietly, my smile widening slightly as the bleak look faded slowly from his eyes and his lips twitched slightly at the corners.
“Does that mean you forgive me?” he asked, his voice much less confident than it usually was.
I nodded and he sighed, a small smile breaking across his face as he pulled me close to him again, squeezing me so tightly that it was hard to breathe but I didn’t mind. “This isn’t going to work every time you screw up,” I mumbled against his chest, my eyes drifting closed once more.
“It won’t?” he asked, innocently.
“No, it won’t,” I said firmly but I was lying. If he hugged me like this, I would probably forgive him for anything.
I woke up to the feeling of a warm breeze blowing across my cheek. I tried to open my eyes a crack but stopped, wincing at how dry they felt from all the crying I’d done the night before. I moved my head slightly on my pillow and it occurred to me that my pillow wasn’t quite as soft as it usually was. In fact, my pillow was quite hard and…warm.
I lifted my head and finally opened my eyes to see an arm stretched across where my head had been resting. I realized quickly that the breeze I had felt had been Mac’s breath on my cheek and my gaze ran over his sleeping profile. I’d been lying on his outstretched arm, our faces close together and our legs entangled. His other arm was flung over me and curved over my back. My arms were bent between the two of us, my palms resting against his firm chest comfortably. My eyes widened as I realized we’d slept in my bed together and the events of the night flooded back to me.
Mac, walking me to my room after we’d hugged for what felt like hours in my living room, then me, asking him to stay, afraid that my memories would keep me from sleeping. The last thing I remembered was sighing as he’d stretched out on the bed beside me, brushing his hand across my cheek lightly and whispering something. I frowned, trying to remember what he’d said but it was gone.
“Oh god,” I mumbled, shutting my eyes again, hoping to avoid the coming embarrassment but as I looked down at our hopelessly tangled legs, I figured I was going to end up waking him no matter what. Sighing, I gave in and let my gaze drift over his features, drinking in his strong jaw and his pronounced cheekbones, the little dimple in his chin that suddenly looked kind of cute and the dark locks of hair that fell across his forehead.
I blinked, realizing that I was gaping at him like one of his screaming fan girls. I cleared my throat lightly, schooling my expression before saying softly, “Mac.” His breathing remained deep and rhythmic so I tried again a little louder but there was no change. I raised my eyebrows rethinking my possible escape without embarrassment and slowly started moving my legs away. I was nearly free when his arm tightened around me, dragging me flush against him, my arms pressed tightly to his chest. “Mac,” I said as the hand that was flung over me, moved up my back to tangle in my hair.
“Rose,” he mumbled, his voice filled with sleep as he spoke before taking a deep breath and yawning.
“Mac, are you awake?” I asked, my voice a little bit strained as my stomach flipped over, giving me that weightless feeling you get when you’re on a roller coaster only, I wasn’t on a roller coaster.
“Mm,” he replied, a sleepy smile stretching across his face as his thumb lightly brushed against the pulse in my neck, the rest of his hand still buried in my hair. My breath hitched at the contact and my heart was skipping so many beats that I was starting to worry about my health.
“Mac wake up,” I croaked as electric tingles made their way up and down my spine. My eyes were starting to glaze over as his thumb continued its torture.
His forehead wrinkled in a slight frown and his eyes opened a crack, the slits of blue looking at my face in confusion. “Rose?” he muttered, his thumb no longer moving but his hand was still firmly in my hair.
“Um, I think we fell asleep together last night,” I whispered, not trusting my voice enough to speak loudly.
He blinked a couple of times his eyes widening as I watched the memories of the previous day flit across his gaze. “Oh god, Rose, what I said…I’m so sorry,” he croaked.
His arm tightened around me again, pressing me harder against him briefly. “Mac, it’s okay, I’ve already forgiven you. Now I think you should let me go.”
His frown deepened slightly but he didn’t change our position at all, in fact, his thumb picked up the stroking again, making my breath catch. He must have heard it because a satisfied smirk appeared on his lips. “What if I don’t want to let you go,” he murmured.
“Stop messing around,” I said hoarsely, “we’re going to be late for school.”
His eyes widened and his thumb stopped but he didn’t loosen his hold on me. “It’s Wednesday,” he breathed, his smirk widening and becoming a grin. “We have our meeting today.”
I blinked, looking at his grinning face and I completely lost my train of thought. Mac didn’t smile unless he meant it and when he did, it lit up his eyes and he looked so handsome that I couldn’t breathe. “Don’t do that,” I croaked.
“Do what?” he asked without dimming his smile one bit.
“Don’t smile like that when we’re so close together,” I explained, my heart beating a million miles an hour.
His smile faded slightly and his eyes darkened as he looked at me, his features becoming serious. “Why not?” he asked quietly.
I rolled my eyes. “Come on, Mac, you know the effect you have on women,” I tried to sound nonchalant but my voice came out a little strained as his eyes stared into mine, smiles and laughter forgotten as he focused entirely on me.
“I didn’t know I had that effect on you, Rose,” he whispered, his eyes softening slightly as he looked at me.
“You don’t,” I whispered but my voice held no conviction whatsoever.
His smirk returned and even that sarcastic smile made my heart skip a beat. “Liar,” he said hoarsely, moving his head forward slightly until our lips were almost touching and I wasn’t stopping him. I didn’t want to stop him. I could feel his breath brush across my lips, sending a shiver of excitement through me as his mouth moved closer still. I was just about to close the distance myself when the shrill ring of my phone made us both jump.
Instinctively, I moved towards the sound and Mac’s grip loosened from around me. “Hello,” I said breathlessly into the phone.
“Good morning, Rose,” Dan said, his voice smooth and deep as he spoke to me.
I couldn’t stop the slight smile that spread on my face as I pictured him puffing out his chest and deepening his tone so he sounded more manly. “Hey Dan,” I said, my gaze sliding over to where Mac was now propped up on his elbow and scowling at me, his hair sticking up more on one side from where he’d been sleeping and there were a couple of red marks on his face from the creases on the pillow.
My smile widened as I looked at him and my eyes glazed over as I took in his rumpled and adorable look. “So Rose I was wondering if you wanted to walk to school with me today,” Dan said as his brother scowled harder at me and held out his hand for me to hand him the phone. My smile disappeared and I shook my head vehemently, backing away from him until I hit the wall.
“I’m kind of out of your way, aren’t I?” I said into the phone, avoiding Mac’s reaching hand as he moved towards me across the bed and I slid sideways along the wall.
“It’s no problem, Rose. I was hoping that we could get some time alone so that you can get to know me better, you know, as a man,” Dan said.
“Today’s not really a good day, Dan,” I said hastily as Mac lunged towards me and missed but just barely. “Why don’t we do it tomorrow?”
“Sounds good!” Dan said excitedly. “I’ll see you at school, Rose!” Mac opened his mouth to speak and I panicked, hitting the end call button without saying goodbye and before Mac could say anything, tipping his brother off that he was at my house.
“Are you crazy?” I shrieked, glaring at Mac as he stood from the mattress and approached me, his shoulders stiff and his jaw clenched. “If you talked to him then he would know for sure that you’d spent the night here! Mac?” I said, my voice shaking a little on his name as he stopped right in front of me and leaned down, putting his hands on either side of me, pressing his palms flat against the wall.
“Why do you care what he thinks, Rose? You don’t want to date him so why are you leading him on? Why did you make plans with him?” His voice was low as he spoke and anger filled his eyes as he scowled down at me, his face close to mine.
“He’s still my friend, Mac. I don’t want to hurt him and I don’t think he’ll take it too well if he knew you spent the night here, even though nothing happened.”
“Nothing?” Mac growled, bringing his face a little closer to mine.
I blinked up at him, feeling my heart pick up speed as he looked down at me, neither of us speaking for a while. His eyes softened, the anger fading as his hand moved from the wall and touched my cheek softly, making my breath catch. Then before I could think, his lips were on mine, lightly brushing across them but I didn’t even get a chance to close my eyes before they were gone and he was taking a step back, frowning at me as my hand rose to touch my lips where his had been.
“Now something happened,” he said hoarsely, his forehead wrinkled slightly in a frown as he looked at me, his chest rising a falling a little faster than usual.
With one last look, he spun and left my room and a short while later, I heard him leave my apartment. I don’t know how long I stood there with my fingers on my tingling lips, my heart rate slowly returning to normal but eventually I managed to straighten and get ready for school, my attention only half on the task.
The other half of my focus was on Mac and how much I wished I’d had a chance to kiss him back.
“Are you sure you can play?” Mac asked for the hundredth time that morning as I strapped his guitar over my shoulders and settled its familiar weight into my hands, taking a deep breath, a smile spreading across my face.
“Oh yeah,” I said breathlessly, my hands moving over the instrument lovingly. When I focused again on Mac, his eyes were filled with amusement and his lips were quirked into a small smile. “What?” I asked.
He shook his head, his smile widening. “You just really love to play, don’t you?”
My grin stretched all the way across my face as I nodded, unconsciously strumming a few chords, testing out my bound wrist and feeling pleased when there was no pain. As I lost myself in the sound, I forgot about any awkwardness that had been between us when I’d first arrived. I couldn’t look him in the eye at first, feeling weird about our night together and whenever I did look at him, he had a strange, determined look in his eyes that made me frown. What was he planning?
Dan had skipped class that morning to practice with us and Cindy had faked an illness so she could watch. We played mostly our own songs, knowing that if the record company asked us to play for them, they’d want original stuff. The songs were written by Mac and Dan mostly with a few recently added guitar riffs that were from me.
By the time the bell rang, I was feeling high on music and I couldn’t seem to make my hands release the guitar. “Rose,” Mac said approaching me with a stern look on his face. “You have to go to class now. You can play again at lunch.” He held out his hand and I reluctantly pulled the strap over my shoulders, handing him the guitar slowly, feeling like I was giving away a child after I’d just gotten it back. “Good girl,” Mac said condescendingly, patting me on the head and making me growl. He just chuckled, obviously not intimated by me in the least. After he’d put the guitar away, he looked at me with a more serious expression, a nervous look in his eyes. “Listen, Rose, about that kiss this morning,” he whispered, leaning closer to me and making my heart rate pick up.
“It’s okay,” I said hastily, not wanting to hear him tell me it was a mistake. “I get it, you were half asleep and you didn’t mean to do it. Don’t worry about it.” I shrugged, giving him a smile that didn’t reach my eyes.
His lips curved down in a scowl and his eyes flashed with anger. “That’s not what I was going to say.”
My eyes widened. “Really?”
His features softened again and a small smile spread across his face as he reached his hand out and gripped mine lightly. “No,” he whispered and after a pause he opened his mouth to talk again but Troy’s booming voice interrupted.
“Come on guys, the bell’s going to ring in a second. We could use your help,” Troy grumbled, glaring over at us as he dismantled the drum set, moving it into the storage room where it had been.
Mac dropped my hand giving me a shrug before moving towards the equipment that still needed to be put away. My eyes connected briefly with Dan to see him frowning over at me before he looked at Mac with a scowl. Had he seen Mac grab my hand? I shook my head, deciding to put it out of my mind for now. I didn’t have any room inside of my crowded brain for more thoughts at the moment.
I couldn’t sit still through class as my fingers itched to grab a guitar again now that my wrist was feeling better. The past few days had been long and just listening to music wasn’t enough anymore. I wanted to feel it coming out of me and spilling into the world. I wanted to watch it take shape in my mind and I wanted to create it with my fingers and put my own feelings into it. My eyes were glued on the clock and the hands seemed to not be moving at all. Lunch hour was far too brief and by the time last period rolled around, I felt like I was going to explode from wanting to play again and from nerves for tonight’s meeting.
After school we met up outside and every single one of us was a ball of nerves and excitement. Troy was sweating a bit and was uncharacteristically quiet as we walked the few blocks towards the studio that we were meeting Mike Miller at. Dan and Mac were quiet also and Cindy and I hung back a little, chatting excitedly about what was to come. She basically outlined her fantasy about dating a famous drummer, making me laugh out loud and releasing some of the tension in my shoulders.
The three boys looked back at us, half amused, half curious looks on their faces. “What are you laughing at?” Dan and Mac said in unison making them whip their heads back to glare at each other in identical expressions.
This made Cindy and I laugh even more because they looked so similar with matching scowls on their faces which they turned on us before focusing forward again, their posture exactly the same as they sped up a bit, leaving us behind.
Cindy and I leaned on each other, giggling the whole rest of the way, caught in one of those fits where just looking at someone throws you into peals of laughter.
Our laughter died when the five of us stood outside of the studio, looking at the artfully designed logo and the block letters declaring the building as Hereafter Records. Cindy moved from my side to grip Troy’s arm and he looked down at her with a shaky smile before he leaned down and gave her a quick kiss on the lips, making her eyes glaze and her cheeks flush red.
I looked away from the couple, my gaze going from Mac to Dan as they stood on either side of me, giving the building an apprehensive look. Pushing away my own nerves, I slid my hands into theirs giving each of them a squeeze and a smile. “Ready?” I asked.
They gave me identical crooked smiles and nodded, moving at the same time and tugging me behind them as we entered the building together.
Leaving Cindy in the waiting area, the receptionist brought us to a room that had a large oval table in it with high backed chairs all around it. Everything looked like it was designer and pricy and it was all very hip and stylish. We sat on the chairs and I was starting to feel the nerves more than ever as the tension in the room ratcheted up.
Just when I thought I might explode from the nervous energy, the door was flung open and Mike strode in, wearing a business suit this time and looking much more professional. He was followed by an older man with salt and pepper hair and shrewd brown eyes. He was wearing a business suit too but with no tie and if I wasn’t mistaken, he was wearing Crocs on his feet. The third person who walked into the room was younger than the other two and a female. Her long hair was an interesting mix between red and blonde and fell nearly to her waist. Her eyes were a vibrant green colour and they traveled over us quickly, her small nose pointed upward as she assessed each of us, her eyes lighting in a way I didn’t like when they landed on Mac and Dan.
“Welcome to Hereafter Records,” Mike said giving us a warm smile as they all took their seats across from us.
The older man was looking at me with a puzzled expression on his face as he sat down but he didn’t say anything. No it was the girl who spoke first, making my heart stop with her words.
“What is Rosemary Keen doing here?”
Okay wow so if anyone is re-reading this haha sorry. I had to go to work and I literally uploaded it and ran so I didn't get a chance to look it over lol OOOPSSSSS. It was kinda funny though....an older man with salt. WHAT THE HELL IS HE GOING TO DO WITH THAT SALT???????? CLIFFHANGER. Oh god. Sorry.