The first time you saw your future in-laws, you were wearing a gorilla costume. To be honest, it was a costume party. But the way they looked at you, it was as if they thought their son had fallen in love with a real gorilla.
"Why is she wearing that mask?" you heard Ami whisper to Billy.
"Maybe she's not that attractive." Billy whispered back although you could teach them both a thing or two about how to whisper so people don't overhear you. Maybe living out in the bush they had to talk loud to make their voices travel over distances. Your soon-to-be fiancée Matt certainly talked loud. There were times you had to put your hand over his mouth to get him to be a little quieter. Also, when you did that he often wound up giving your palm a little kiss, so silencing him had its perks.
After a tense couple of moments, Billy stuck out his hand to shake your furry paw. Ami decided she would risk hugging your bulky frame and the level of awkward as she tried to put her arm around you was painful. She finally pulled back and smiled sweetly at you. You could tell she was trying her best not to stare at your bare feet that you had spray-painted black and used school glue to attach strips of fake fur. Would it help at all if you told her the gorilla shoes that came with the costume were too small for you? Nope, that wouldn't make it better at all.
"It's really nice to meet you." You mumbled through your full face gorilla mask.
"Isn't she amazing?" Matt yelled through his mask as he threw an arm around your padded shoulder.
"Mmmm. Yessssss." Billy's eyes darted from side to side as he looked for something – anything – to divert his attention from his oldest son and his fuzzy friend.
"Can I get you something to drink?" You offered, wanting to make a good impression on Matt's family.
Oh, the vigorous head nodding from both Billy and Ami made you a little sad as you realized they wanted nothing more than for the gorilla girl to go away. Even if it was for just a few minutes. Sighing too softly for them to hear, you gave Matt a pat on the arm and wandered over to the refreshment table.
You were barely out of earshot before the questions began.
"All the other girls are dressed like superheroes or princesses. Why is she wearing a gorilla costume?"
"Is there something wrong with her face that she doesn't want us to see her?"
"What exactly is going on with her feet?"
As far as first impressions go, this one couldn't have been any worse. You wanted to run back and tell them that you were wearing a gorilla costume because Matt wanted to wear his and you wanted to match him. You also wanted to tell them that your feet weren't that big, that the shoes to the costume were freakishly small! But you didn't say anything as you pulled off one furry mitt and tucked it under your arm. Yanking off the second mitt, you tucked it under the other arm. Even though having to hold your arms so close to your sides to keep the gloves from falling made you look like a five-foot-two praying mantis, you did your best to scoop up the two cups of pink punch and make your way back across the room.
"Hey!" Matt yelled even before you were really within earshot. "My parents think there's something wrong with your face and that's why you're wearing the gorilla mask! HAHA!"
Thankfully, you were wearing that gorilla mask or everyone in the room who stopped talking at the sound of Matt's loud voice would have seen your face go ashen and your mouth drop open.
"I love this man, I love this man, I love this man..." You chanted the reminder softly to keep yourself from flinging both cold drinks in Matt's face. Or in his gorilla face. Or...gorilla mask. Oh, Whatever!
As you stepped close to Matt, you first felt, then saw his hands tugging at your loose rubber mask. As he pulled the mask free of your head, your dark hair fell loosely down around your shoulders. You blew a stray strand of hair away from your mouth and as you smiled up at Matt's parents, the look on their face was of stunned surprise.
"Oh, Matt. She's beautiful!" Ami's hands flew to her mouth.
"I told you she was gorgeous." Matt took the drinks from your hands and passed them over to his parents.
"A girl as pretty as her shouldn't be wearing a gorilla mask." Billy shook his head and smiled.
Matt pulled his own mask over his head and leaned over to kiss you gently on the cheek. He looked deep into your eyes and spoke more to you than to anyone else;
"A girl as pretty as her wouldn't be safe in a crowd like this. I didn't want every man in the room trying to take her away from me."
"There's no way in the world that could ever happen. I love you, gorilla boy." You smiled up at Matt.
"I love you, too, gorilla girl."