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So PSHE was boring- felt like shoving gummy bears into my eyes sockets and scratching off my face. We were talking about self harm, which just made me laugh!! Like they would know anything about it! They don't know shit! Saying it's an addiction- Whatever. Unless you have actually experienced it first hand, don't talk to me as if you know what it's like! Your blunt patriotism means diddly' shit to me!! I leave the classroom on the bells ring and make my way to the locker that Gerard pointed at earlier. Soon, the class doors all flung open and the rushing student budged past me. I got the occasional shoulder nudge or kick in the shin by some hefty, giant, jock with brains almost as small as my height vertically, i'm really short, i'm like 4.9- 'ouch!' some twat just hit me in the arm. Just leave me alone for fuck sake, i'd thought by now people would have better things to do, but evidently not!! "arrg!!" I groan and rub my arm with the opposite hand, in doing so, I see Mikey leaning against the lockers and mirroring my stance slightly.
"Hey Frank, you coming to get lunch? I need to get there quick before all of the cakes go!" Mikey starts to jump around excitedly. What do I tell him? that im having lunch with someone else? how very unlikely- Mikey knows I don't have other friends...
"Oh, well..." I start out, scratching the back of my neck with half painted black nails. Luckily i'm interrupted!!
"Hey Frank!" I hear from a distance behind me, I slowly turn my head to see Gerard. I pull a half smile and turn back to Mikey as Gerard approaches us both. I'm surprised as he walks up to Mikey and squeezes his cheeks.
"Arrg! Get off Gerard!" Mikey yells, hitting Gerard's arm playfully.
"You two know each other?" I ask blinking, eyes widening.
"He's my brother" They say in unison- after, turning to each other and laughing. Brothers!? Well this is awkward- I knew that Mikey had a brother, but I didn't know that he was Gerard!
"C'mon Frank, lets go and get some lunch!!" Gerard states and starts to automatically walk down the corridor to the lunch hall.
"What about me? I was meant to be eating lunch with Frankie!" Mikey exclaims. Gerard shrugs and keeps walking.
"You can eat with us, come on!" He shouts, and we go walking with him- Of course, Mikey and I follow along like little puppy dogs...
Once we get to the food hall, Mikey races for the food laid out. "Damn!" he exclaims and slams a fist down on the counter "No more cake!".
I giggle as he walks back to us empty handed. I don't buy lunch at school... I don't bring any either- to tell the truth, I don't eat a lot now a-days... After Gerard forced Mikey to get something else to eat, we went onto the field, littered with little groups sat in rings, like they are going to perfom some wiccan ritual... We have: The Jocks, The Populars, The Girly Girls, The Normal people, The Geeks, The Really Really Geeks, and The Outcasts... Gerard, Mikey and I scoot over to the corner of the field. The outcast area if you like. We sit down together on the damp green grass and Mikey and Gerard start to eat. Gerard had a homemade peanut butter and jelly sandwich, with two cookies and a flask of hot coffee, Mikey had a slice of pizza that Gerard made him buy, and shared Gerard's large drink. I had nothing.
"You okay?" Gerard asks, ribbon brows laced with concerned, as he finishes his sandwich and starts nibbling one of his double chocolate chip cookies.
"Yeah... i'm good" I glance at his other cookie involuntarily- I didn't mean to look!! But Gerard catches me staring and just offers it out to me!!
"Here, have a cookie" He smiles, but I just shake my head and try to resist the scent- I don't want to eat, I don't have much of an appetite anyway.
"No thanks."
"Eat it! I could see you eyeing it up!" He insists- I keep shaking my head. "EAT!" He yells insisting i do, again.
"Ugh" I groan and snatch, regretfully, the cookie out of his hand. Starting to pick out the pieces of chocolate and place them in my mouth, they melt like ice and disappear quickly, but still leave a chocolaty aftertaste. Gosh- I miss that... Mikey finishes his pizza and throws the crust into the bush behind us.
"Oh!" Mikey announces enthusiastically "I asked my mom yesterday if you could come round, and she said yes! Finally! Can you come round tomorrow after school? You can get my bus home?!" He starts to wave his hand back and forth like a demented T-rex! he's so retarded! (But adorable)
"Sure" I smile and start chewing the edge of the cookie.
Gerard's sipping his hot drink- "Want some?" They ask and I take the coffee from Gerard's warm hands- aw, I love his hands! No frank stop. Bad Frank. Baaad! I slowly take a sip of warm coffee, and I can almost taste Gerard's lips, arg, if I think about him to much I go into a day dream so yeah, stop now. Stop. I hand Gerard back his coffee and my cold finger tips collide with his warm ones.
"Woah, you're really cold, Frank" Gerard takes a sip of coffee,
"Yup- you're really h-ho- ... warm." I correct myself from making the word 'hot' sound too gay. An awkward silence is now present, however is luckily soon dismissed when Mikey decides to end it.
"So... Gerard, are you going to be home tomorrow when Frank is over?" I snap my head towards Mikey as I shake away my 'zone out'.
"Yeah, i'll be home..." Oh my lordy! Gerard will be home! ME! -in the same house as Gerard, so excited now- I cant wait, I cant wait. I'm still trying to work out if I have a crush on Gerard, that's pretty weird considering that I'm not gay, he's not gay- he's older than me and I think he has a girlfriend... Not for long! I chuckle to myself as the clang of the school bell signals for our next lesson. R.S- I have a pretty shitty day today so yeah... i'm gonna sleep through most of the lesson about Buddha and Peace, because, A: I genuinely don't understand it and B: when am I going to use this information in my life... ever?
I have Drama last, I think- I'm not sure. i'm never sure, usually end up late for my lessons because I forgot where to go!! I usually just rely on Mikey to regurgitate my timetable. Drama's okay I suppose, not the greatest lesson ever, but we don't do much so it's cool.
After my boring lessons are over I get on my bus, which I end up running for, because my stupid teacher held me behind for chewing gum in the lesson. I dislike my drama teacher a lot! She is blonde and wears her hair up in a small tight pineapple bun at the top of head, which I swear gives her a face lift! She always has the same thing on, a pair of green suit trousers, a crimson blouse and a teal blazer. ugly. yes ugly, that's the word, also with her face plastered with an inch of thick make up! I suppose I cant talk because I wear make up, but that is besides the fucking point...
I get onto the bus and sit on the same seat as I did coming in this morning. I plug in my music and hit play- attempting to rub of my make up and eyeliner before I get home- might dad might see. He hates me more if I wear make up, and might hit me couple times, nothing that im not used to though, but this day hasn't made me feel so inclined to hate myself- so i'd prefer a little joy!!
After a long bus journey, I have to walk the rest home. I start walking down the streets, alleys and towns to get to my old worn out crappy house. I quietly unlock the door with my rusty keys and enter my bland messy house, hurrying to the kitchen to place down my dad coffee cup in the sink filled with dirty cold water. I rinse out the bowl and fill it with fresh liquid and wash everything in the bowl up with fairy. My dad stomps in foot after foot, banging against the wooden flooring.
"Boy!" He yells "Whom was it this morning who stole my cup!" He starts to get louder as he booms out the words. I shrug and push past him leaving the room- I don't want to deal with his pathetic theatrics.
"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOUR GOING!" He screams pulling me back by my black hoodie (I knew this move all to well).
"Arrg! LET GO OF ME!" I yell, jiggling like a bug under his tight grip.
"NO! YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT!" He shouts, pushing me into the wall with his fist. He takes a hold of my bleached and black hair and pushes my head against the cold sideboard- then thumps down again. I clench my fists and try to get away from him, kicking back with my left leg and hitting his knee. He lets my head go and I race up the steep carpeted stairs, tripping into my room.
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