In school, Tyler and I were quite well known. Though I tried to remain as inconspicuous as possible by keeping to a certain group of friends, Tyler had been the social butterfly who bared his soul to nearly everyone he met. Resultantly, I also became known among his friends and acquaintances. We were being referred to in conjunction as the "De Luca twins"; often times, people would joke about the fact that there was one twin for each gender: Tyler for the gay men, me for the straight girls. It was a win-win situation to most people. There were also plenty of other comparisons (he's artsy, I'm athletic; he's loud, I'm quiet etc), but the gay-straight one was the main idea most people had of us.
This was why when I exclaimed "I love you!" to Nicholas Anderson, the most common comment after the intense silence was, "Now the straight one is gay too?!", along with a number of disappointed sighs and grumbles.
Nicholas just continued to stare at me with disbelief as I fought with Tyler for control inside my own body. 'Get out!' I shouted at him, though once again it failed to be said upon my own lips. His tinkering giggle resonated within head before my whole self was being relinquished from his dominance, feeling as though I was being compressed and expanded at the same time. Fresh air flooded my lungs as I took a sharp intake of breath, preventing myself from falling by shooting a hand out to the locker beside me. Despite that attempt, I dropped to one knee, hair obscuring my eyes as my shoulder banged heavily into the cold metal, gasps filling the air around me.
"That wasn't me!" I shouted before anyone could come to my rescue. I tried to focus my eyes on him, but my vision shook violently. "That wasn't me! Really!" I cried desperately. With the weakness consuming my body, I slumped against the lockers, fully sliding down to the ground. "My brother loves you! Not me!" my words slurred, mind clouding as my eyes rolled into my head and darkness invaded my world, yet consciousness still existed.
"Andrew!" Tyler fretted, though his voice seemed to be on the brink of reality, along with the others crying out my name. Strong arms lifted me from my place on the ground and I curled into that warmth, as it starkly contrasted with the cold darkness within my body.
"My god..." I heard a deep voice murmur, sending pleasant shivers down my spine. Humming, my consciousness flickered before the darkness devoured me into oblivion.
***
"...drew! Andrew! Andrew!"
"What?!" I shouted, flailing my arm to whatever was relentlessly calling my name, hand passing through air. Snapping open my eyes, I winced at the bright light that pierced my vision, groaning as I squinted.
"Andrew, you're awake!" Tyler squealed, barreling into me. I growled, attempting to pry him off of me.
"Get off of me!" I demanded, struggling within his hold. He only squeezed tighter in response.
"I'm so sorry!" he wailed, digging his nails into my shoulders. "I didn't mean for that to happen! I didn't know it would be so bad! I just couldn't help myself!"
I sighed angrily. "Get the fuck OFF," I shouted, startling him with my cursing. He pulled away from me, sniffling slightly as he glanced away in shame. Breathing through my teeth, I finally was able to absorb my surroundings. I had been laying in a plush white bed, an off white curtain pulled around the small area, along with a glass of still water on the bare side table. Everything was brightly illuminated shallowly from the fluorescent lights on the ceiling. I raised an eyebrow.
"Nurse's office?" I questioned, recognizing the environment from the many times I had a sports injury during school...which was quite often. "Who brought me here?" Just as Tyler was about to answer, someone pulled the curtain open, the metal rings clashing together in a cacophony of sound.
"Who're you talking to?" Nicholas asked, casually popping a mint into his mouth. I stared at him, unable to answer, heart pounding within my chest. His heavenly light blue eyes were trained on me expectantly, hands nonchalantly shoved into the pocket of his dark jeans.
"Ah, still so beautiful..." Tyler whispered, a fond smile gracing his lips.
"Well?" He raised a blond eyebrow at me, full lips tightening around the mint. I grappled to gain control over myself, averting my eyes away from him.
"N-no one," I stuttered, gritting my teeth. "Uh, um, why are you here?" I asked in attempt to change the subject, though my lack of speaking skills was frustrating. Even though I tended to be a quieter person, I was far from awkward and could articulate if necessary. At least I thought so, anyway.
He didn't answer, instead taking a seat at the plastic folding chair beside the bed, leaning back. Though my eyes were still pointed downwards, I turned my head towards him, my vision flicking towards him occasionally. "I carried you here," he said after a few moments. "You should gain some weight."
Though I was somewhat surprised by the comment, I nodded in agreement. "After...you know... I haven't been eating well," I responded almost inaudibly. Tyler's arms wrapped around my shoulders as he soothingly squeezed my bicep. Nicholas tilted his head in acknowledgement, understanding evident within his eyes, though his features remained indifferent. An awkward silence ensued as I felt his eyes bore into me while I refused to look at him properly.
"So, would you like to explain?"
"Explain what?" I retorted, pursing my lips. Again, his eyes were focused with incredible intensity upon my person.
"Let's start with this," he began, bringing himself forward in the chair. "Why is your brother in the room?" My eyes snapped up to meet his, whole body stiffening as I stared at him with awe. Tyler gasped, dropping his arm from my shoulder in favor of covering his mouth with shock.
"W-wha--"
"My hands," he interrupted, removing said body part from his pocket. His left hand was shaking violently, blue blood vessels almost grotesquely prominent on the pale skin. I glanced from his face to his hand and back again, confusion permeating through my features. "Whenever there is a ghost near me, my left hand starts to shake. More than one, both hands," he explained monotonously, replacing his hands back into his pocket.
My mouth opened and closed uselessly as I stared at him, still trying to process the information. "Uh, I do--"
He sighed loudly, running his right hand down his face. "Since it's after school, let's get you something to eat. We'll discuss there," he proposed, standing up. "My treat," he added as an afterthought. My voice seemed to be stuck in my throat as my brow furrowed. "Your brother can come too," he said, eyes mirthful. Offhandedly, I thought of how much expression his eyes portrayed, despite his rather coldly indifferent face. Tyler squealed, bounding from his place on the opposite side of the bed to tackle Nicholas, though the blond quickly stepped out of the way, jaw clenched.
"Can you tell your brother to not get too close to me?" Nicholas directed, a sort of nervous fear within his voice. Tyler huffed indignantly before yelling something along the lines of "I still love you!"
Without another word, he reached a hand--his right--out to me. I glanced at it silently before taking it in mine, sparks flowing down my arm. As I was preoccupied by the unexpected pleasureable warmth, he pulled me out of the bed easily, though I still stumbled into him. Our eyes met as our chests collided, hands intertwined between our bodies. My breath caught within my throat as his baby blue eyes possessed mine in an profound stare, my whole body radiating from his unsettling warmth.
After a few moments, I glanced away, breaking the electrical atmosphere as I removed my hand from his. He cleared his throat as he muttered something about following him, his gait brusque as he headed out the door. Ignoring the blush and Tyler's confused gaze, I proceeded after him, eyes downcast.
What was I doing?
***
"You can call me Nick," he said as his eyes trained on the road before him. I nodded, a small smile tugging at the edges of my lips.
"Um...should you be driving with your hand...?" I murmured, noticing grip on the wheel was quite weak on the left side seeing as his hand relentlessly quivered. Tyler was sitting in the back seat, a heated yet dreamy gaze on his face directed towards the blond. Nick shrugged in response to me.
"Unless you want to hold my arm while I'm driving, I think we'll survive," he said. I glanced at him curiously. His eyes flicked towards me for a second, catching my expression before returning back to the road. "Human contact stops the shaking."
"Oh," I said. The silence that ensued was quite awkward as I contended with the idea of touching him. Why would it be a problem really? I'm not gay...it shouldn't be weird. I could just say that I don't want him to crash and die if he asks. Despite these thoughts, a blush blossomed onto my cheek as I reached out a hand to touch his hard bicep, my tanned skin contrasting starkly with his paleness. Sparks once again flowered from my fingers tips, radiating down my arm, warmth swirling within my stomach as he stiffened at the contact.
"Thanks," he muttered, hand relinquishing it's previous state of tremors. I glanced down in embarrassment at the sudden bombardment of feelings, though I could still spot the faded pink that dusted across Nick's high cheekbones. This was not right. I should not be reacting this way to a man, much less my brother's first love.
As if reading my thoughts, Tyler sighed fancifully. "Ah, I wish I could touch him Andrew.... I mean, look at those muscles!" he admired. I glanced back at him to see a lusty gaze on his face. "Oh, he would have been so good in bed. I can just tell. I bet his cock is hu--"
"Shut up Tyler!" I cried, a darker blush forming on my cheeks. I grimaced at thought of Nick and my brother in bed together, stomach twisting distressingly.
"What's he saying now?" Nick questioned, glancing in the back seat which remained empty to his eyes. My hand tightened it's grip on his arm.
"You really don't want to know," I replied, sinking back into the seat, shutting my eyes as I felt waves of hunger pass through me, settling within my head to pound ruthlessly. I hadn't eaten anything today and the night before and the effects were now being known. "Where are we going?" I inquired with tiredness.
"The new cafe in Garden City. I heard their cinnamon crunch bagels are really good," he answered, turning the car into a smaller roadway. Stomach seemingly caving in at the mention of food, I didn't answer as I squirmed, trying to abate the hunger.
After what seemed like years, we finally pulled into a parking lot of a small cafe which, though not crowded, was bustling with enough activity to be called "busy". As we exited the car, Nick dug his hands deeply into his pockets, only removing his right hand to open the glass door for Tyler and I. Immediately, the thick scent of freshly baked bread wafted through the air to invade my nose, almost causing me to keel over with desire and a slightly faint feeling. Almost staggering, I made my way to fortunately short line, Nick placing a hand on my elbow to keep me balanced.
"Hello, what would you two like?" the cashier asked, glancing oddly at Nick's hand on my arm. Nick stared thoughtfully at the menu mounted high on the wall while I simply furrowed my brow at the dilapidating hunger.
"One mozzarella and tomato panini, a cinnamon crunch bagel with honey walnut cream cheese, and two glasses of iced green tea," he ordered smoothly. Damn, that food sounded good, especially when he said it. I was almost salivating at the names.
"Chips, bread, or apple?" she asked, tilting her head to the side at she stared at Nick.
"Apple for me, please." He turned his attention to me and asked me what I wanted with mine. I answered the same and, after paying, he dragged me to the edge of the counter to wait for our food to be cooked.
"Man, that sounds amazing. I wish I could eat," Tyler rued. I glanced at him sympathetically, barring away thoughts of his death and his predicament. He was here now and that's all that matters.
After we got our food, we took the plates to a small table in the back, in a relatively private corner. Fighting off a wave of dizziness, I sat in the cushioned chair, placing my plate and drink in front of me on the wooden table.
"You looked a bit sick, so I got you whatever I thought would be good just to hurry up," Nick said offhandedly, sliding off the plastic cover on the small cup of cream cheese. "If you don't like it, I'll get you something else." I shook my head quickly, gingerly lifting the sliced half of the panini, angling my head to enter it into my mouth. As I bit through the crispy bread, tomato, and cheese, my tongue was racked with explosions of marvelous flavor. My eyes widened as I chewed, mouth completely overcome with the delicious texture of freshly baked bread and the saltiness of the cheese with a hint of sweet tomato.
"Whoa," I whispered in awe. "That's amazing." I looked at Nick, who was struggling to spread cream cheese on the bagel with one hand. Sighing, I reached over and place my fingers on his wrist, ignoring the immediate warmth. He gave me a grateful glance before skillfully dispersing the yellowed cream cheese with the black plastic knife.
"Lucky bastard," Tyler said underneath his breath, floating beside me. I pursed my lips, immediately removing my hand once he was done. We ate in silence, I being utterly consumed with ravenously filling my empty stomach, him carefully watching me while slowly and methodically eating his bagel.
"You guys are so boring," Tyler complained, bouncing around in the air. "Though I could just stare at Nick all day," he sighed, an adoring smile on his face.
"So," Nick began as I was taking a sip of the iced green tea. "Start explaining from the beginning." I swallowed thickly and glanced at him shyly, running my tongue over my teeth.
"Um...where to start?" I mumbled, not meeting his eyes. Clearing my throat, I formulated my thoughts before speaking once again. He stared at me expectantly, icy blue eyes piercing. "My brother died about a week ago. He was run over by a drunk driver on his way back from his tutor's house," I orated, lips pulling into a thin line. "I'm not going to go into details about that." His eyes softened as he leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table and folding his hands, one trembling, settling his chin into his enclosed fists. I stared at his nose to not get captivated in his stare. I could hardly remember the last time someone was so focused on me before and it was somewhat unsettling.
"Well, my whole family was devastated about it. It was just a really really hard loss for all of us," I said, voice cracking unintentionally. "Yesterday, I was in my room and...I heard my brother's voice. And I looked up to see him sitting in my chair. It was bizarre, to say the least," I laughed softly, shaking my head to clear my thoughts. "He told me that he's stuck here until he settles a regret. And...that regret is that he didn't confess his feelings to you. So he convinced me to relay that information to you and when I was about to, I guess he possessed me and did it himself," I explained, sending a glare to Tyler. He laughed awkwardly and made a heart with his hands. Rolling my eyes, I turned my attention back to Nick, who seemed to be deeply contemplating something.
"But I never even talked to your brother before," he stated, full pink lips pursing at the thought. I forced my eyes from staring at the succulent lips-- did I just call his lips succulent?
"T-that's what I was saying," I stuttered. "But he's didn't pass on because of this. It has to be serious. He loves you." I frowned at thought. Here I was, ogling at Nick (and being utterly confused about my sexuality), knowing that my brother didn't move on because of him; his feelings were that strong that he needed to come back. What kind of brother was I? A wave of self loathing passed over me.
"It's very altruistic of you to do this," he murmured, eyes glinting with a hint of nostalgic sadness. "If I had the same chance, I would of made my mother stay. No matter how selfish that is." A crease formed between my brows.
"What do you mean?"
"My mom died when I was twelve," he stated, staring blankly at me. I bit my lip as I glanced at him, worry crossing my features.
"I'm so sorry," I consoled, frazzled at how to handle the situation, despite having a brother who just.... It was kind of odd. I felt more connected to Nick because of this. We both lost important people in our lives and we've both felt that pain.
"It's alright. It's been a while," he said, leaning back in his chair. He sighed, running his fingers through his lightly gelled hair. "The hand shaking thing started after she died. I think she was following me a bit before passing on." I nodded, finishing off the last of my panini before biting into the fresh apple. I ignored the flutter in my stomach as I noticed him continuing to stare at me.
"Is your brother ready to move on?" he asked after a few minutes. I froze, realizing that I had just completed my duty, and glanced towards the general direction of Tyler. His feet were now planted firmly on the ground as he gazed at the both of us with heartbreaking sadness. I dropped my apple and, not caring of what people thought of my display, reached my arms out to him. He whimpered before falling into my chest. Gently, I ran my fingers through his hair; to Nick, it must've looked like I was embracing air.
"I think it's time..." he murmured, shuddering before extricating himself from my arms. "Can we go outside?" I smiled sadly, mimicking my dad, and turned my head to Nick, who was still silently watching me.
"Do you want to come outside with me? To see him off?" He nodded, taking both our empty plates in his hand and stood, placing it on the small counter-like area of the trash can. With that, he waited as I gathered myself, following him as he headed out the door, Tyler floating meagerly behind me. The sun was just setting as we exited, sky blazing with burnt oranges and pinks, purple drifting among it's depths. The frigid autumnal air caused me to automatically huddle into my sweatshirt, pulling the sleeves around my hands. I glanced at Nick, wondering how he was able to stand the chill in a thin white t-shirt and jeans without so much as a wince.
We stopped at an abandoned corner of the brick building. Standing next to Nick, I watched as Tyler's form seemed to waver a bit, becoming slightly translucent. Eyes widening, I swallowed the lump in my throat as tears threatened to spill over. His hands were clenched into fists weakly as he watched us, cinnamon brown eyes-- the same color as mine-- brimming with acceptance and tinged with sorrow.
"Thank you," he said, voice light and wispy. "Thank you for telling him, Andrew. Thank you for listening, Nick." Forcing down a sob, my voice wavered a bit as I relayed his statement to Nick.
"It was nice to hear from you," Nick said cordially in response, staring unseeingly at the air in front him. Tyler smiled brightly, gliding towards Nick to place a kiss on his lips. The sudden flare of jealousy surprised me and I forced it down violently, locking it deep inside me so as to not be disturbed by how I was thinking of my brother last actions. Nick seemed to feel Tyler's proximity, a look of extreme discomfort streaked with fear crossing his features. He stepped back, breaking the one sided kiss (it was apparent he didn't know exactly what Tyler was doing). Tyler then returned his attention back to me.
"I love you Andrew. You are the best brother anyone could ask for. I can leave without regrets now because of you," he expressed, reaching out to hug me. I wrapped my arms around him, the weakening of his presence within my arms disconcerting.
"I love you too," I answered, trying to find more words to explain how I feel but finding it impossible to do so. I could tell him everything I thought, everything that I should have said but didn't...but really, it didn't matter anymore. He just needed to know that I loved him, purely and sincerely.
Before I knew it, Tyler was released from my arms. His being continued to lose substance as he waved, smiling and turning away from the both of us to escalate into the radiating sky. Soon enough, Nick and I were left alone.
"He's gone," Nick murmured, deep voice shattering the silence. Broken from a trance, my eyes lowered from the sky to glance downward at the pavement. With great difficulty, I held back tears, not wanting to cry in front of Nick. My brother was gone. He's really gone this time. A small part of me regretted liberating him. But I couldn't think like that. My brother was free. He was in a better place.
Strong arms enfolded around me and I froze, the flares of abrupt pleasure momentarily paralyzing me. "Wha--"
"You look like you need it," he replied simply, tightening his arms around me. It took another few seconds for me to relax into him, my own hands lifting to grip at his back. I breathed in, shuddering, taking comfort in his embrace. Burying my face into his chest and shattering any hope in saving my pride, hot tears trickled from my eyes to stain his shirt. I suppressed a sob as he rubbed my back soothingly, his chin resting on my shoulder.
I freely savored his warmth knowing that soon enough, we will once again be complete strangers to each other.
---
Hey guys! I hope you guys liked the this chapter! Quite long, dammit. But anyway, Human Shape is my main story, which is why the updates will be relatively slow for this.
And don't worry, there will be plenty more in this story. Not the last of Tyler! XD
Isn't Samuel Johnson beautiful? -fangirl sigh-
Comment, rate, and vote please! I really appreciate it <3