Regretting Death(ON HOLD)

By OzzyLynne

1.8K 56 22

Suicide seems to be the only answer for Kasey, but when she pulls the trigger her life changes. Or her after... More

RG-2-Plane ride back
RG-3- Walking Dead
RG-4- Loving from a Distance
RG-5-Starting over
RG-6- Welcome Home
RD-7- Starting over
RD-Ch8- New Friends.
Regretting Death-Chapter 9
RD-10- Learning to ride.

RG-1- Death

586 11 0
By OzzyLynne

_______________

Hey guy’s so this is a new story. And I just wanted to say, I completely hate suicide, I think you should think it through and talk to whoever you can. Smile and live your life/ not mattering what happened, because I believe it will always be better. SO this story is not about death and killing you, it’s about the regrets of killing yourself, it’s also about finding love on earth (But she can’t have it because she’s dead.) SO please, before you pull the trigger, don’t be stupid like this girl, and kill yourself. Please think about it all, think about your family and how they truly feel, think about the ones that secretly love you. Because you may not know it, but in the world there is always one guy/girl that is in love with you. You may not know it, but it’s true. So stand up tall and smile. Because taking your life will only make things worse.  Smile and prove everyone you can be better than them. Prove to them you’re better and stronger than ever. Smile my sweet readers, because I love it when you all smiled! (:

___________

Kasey on the side!

Chapter One:

“She’s so ugly; I don’t understand why she is even… Well whatever, she still shouldn’t be around me, I might catch her ugly.” Ella whispered to her group of friends. I walked forward as they walked behind me. I sighed and made my way to my fifth period class, unfortunately it was with Ella and her group of preppy little cheerleaders.  I turned the corner and walked into the class, I walked to the front where my seat was. I sat down setting my books on my desk as I pulled out some paper and a pen. I leaned back and relaxed in my seat and waited for the teacher to walk in to start class.

                “She could be so pretty if she just did something with the ugly mess on her head.” One of Ella’s friends Mel whispered.

                “I know, or at least put makeup on. Maybe change her clothes.” Mitch laughed. He was Ella’s boyfriend. The perfect couple, football player and cheerleader, perfect.

                “We should give her a makeover.” Madison whispered to Ella. I could feel Ella grin, feel her glaring at me.

                “We should, hey nerd.” Ella tapped my back. I sighed and turned around. She smiled her perfect white teeth smile that her daddy probably helped her get with money. “Want a makeover? I’m sure we could get you a boyfriend.” I shook my head and turned around relaxing in m seat. “Pathetic rat, I’m just trying to help.”

                “I’m sorry; I just don’t want to be like you.” I answered not moving.

                “Like me? Everyone wants to be like me, I’m amazing, you on the other hand. You’re a stupid ugly little…”

                “Good morning class, get your homework out.”  Mr. Green smiled walking into the class interrupting Ella. I sighed and got my homework out. “Now give it to the person behind you to grade it. People in the back pass it to the front.” I sighed again and gave my paper to Ella. She grinned and smiled at her friends. “Now let’s grade it.” He put up the answer sheet and I started to grade the paper in front of me. Once I was done I passed it to the person that gave it to me. Ella tapped my shoulder and I took my paper without looking at her. “Scores please! Ella Brook?”

                “Ten out of ten sir.” She said in her perfect little high pitch voice. Mr. Green smiled and continued to ask students what there score was. I looked at my paper and saw Ella marked everything wrong. She even took the time to change my answers so it looked like I had done it wrong.

                “Mr. White?” I looked up and frowned.

                “Zero.” I answered.

                “Maybe you should have studied miss.” Mr. Green said.

                “Maybe you should have someone but Ella grades my work.” I glared back at him; he shook his head and grabbed a pink slip of paper writing stuff down. “I’m sorry sir; I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed.” I apologized hoping he would throw the pink slip away. He nodded his head and handed me the pink slip of paper. I sighed and slipped my head into my hands.

                “Stupid girl.” Mitch laughed, the whole class burst out in laughter and I dug my head into my hands even more trying to hide my face. Class went by as slow as possible and finally the bell rang, I got up and grabbed my binder. I walked out of the room and into the crowded hallway. Suddenly I was pushed and my binder went flying to the ground. I fell to my knees and slammed my hands on the ground trying to catch myself. I looked up to see all my papers flying everywhere, I watched as my binder got kicked around all over the lower commands. I sat there watching it making sure I didn’t lose sight when a hard pain shot into my hand, I looked down at my hand to see a bright red heel digging itself into my hand, I pulled my hand away as fast as I could as I looked up to see A couple school girls. The laughed and walked away. I looked around to find my binder but I couldn’t find it at first. Finally the students got to their classes and my binder showed up. I hurried to grab all my papers and my binder, but I couldn’t hold it with my right hand, it hurt way too much. I looked at my hand to see it started to swell, the middle was a dark purple and was clouded by red and blue. I frowned as I ran to my next class, right as I got into the class the bell rang.

                “Miss. White, you’re late.” Mr. Lane told me.

                “Please sir, I dropped my binder and my stuff went everywhere, it won’t happen again.” I told him, he frowned and nodded his head towards the empty seat. I sat down and hissed as I put everything away.

                “Miss. White, what happened to your hand?” Mr. Lane asked, I looked up and frowned.

                “It’s nothing really, it will be fine.” I told him, he nodded and continued with his class. I frowned and continued with my stuff; once I was done I listened to his rant about politics and the earth. Once the bell rang I hurried out of the room to my next class. I sat in the back by the window and got my stuff out. That class went by fast and the ending bell rang. I ran to my locker and ran out of thee school once I had my bag. I slowed down and started to walk once I got out of the rush of kids. I put my hood up and covered my binder from the falling rain. I pressed the button for the light and I waited to be able to cross. Once it turned red I ran a crossed the road and ran down pass a bunch of houses till I took a left. I started to slow down and I took deep breaths. I stopped running for a moment and then continued to run to my house.

                “Hey loser!” I turned around to see my brother’s car as he got closer to me; his car hit a huge pile of water. He laughed as the water shot up and splashed me getting me soaking wet. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I turned back around and slowly walked home not caring to cover my binder from the falling rain and now snow. Mixing the two making mush fall all around and on top of me. After a couple more minuets I got to my house, I grabbed the door knob and pushed open the door. Once I took step in the house the smell of burnt bread hit my nose. I slowly closed the door and tiptoed my way to stairs. I turned around and rushed up the stairs.

                “Sweetie! Is that you?” My mother asked. I froze and turned around to see her at the bottom of the stairs crossing her arms with a wooden spoon in her hand. “Why are you wet!” she yelled. “You're going to get my carpet wet! Get! Go dry your clothes and get dressed. Then come help me finish dinner for your family! Hurry up.” She yelled at me. I turned around and ran to my room, I dropped my binder on my desk and stripped my clothes putting them in my hamper, and I grabbed some baggy jeans and a long sleeve shirt. I slipped them on and put my hair in a pony tail; I grabbed my jacket and quickly put it on as I rushed down the stairs to help my mom out with dinner.

                “How was school?” She asked.

                “It was fine.” I answered quickly.

                “After dinner your father and I are going out to dinner I need you to clean the house, your brother is having a party. I also need you to clean my clothes and then your brother bathroom.” She smiled.

                “It’s his bathroom why can’t he do it?” I asked her a little anger showing.

                “Because he needs to get ready for the party! Don’t yell at me young lady! Do what I say and do it with a smile!” She growled at me and I sighed. “Dinner boys!” She smiled putting food on the table. I grabbed four plates and she took the away. She grabbed a plate and put it away. “I will not be talked to like that, get cleaning.” She glared at me, and then turned away smiling at my dad and brother. They sat down and dug into the food I made.

                “Will there be girls at this party Mark?” My father asked.

                “Well yeah.” Mark answered with a mouth full of food.

                “That’s my boy.” My father smiled. “Sweetie! Before you go, could you get me a water?” I stopped and turned around.

                “Okay.” I whispered as I walked towards the cups. I grabbed one and filled it with water. I put some ice in it and set it in front of him.

                “Go clean.” Mark growled at me. I jumped up from my spot and started to clean the house.

In hours our house was filled with hundreds of people from my school. I pushed my way through the house to get a water bottle. I ran around doing things for my family the last couple hours I just wanted some water. I finally got to the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle from the counter; it was already opened but seemed like it was pretty full, like no one drank out of it. Or that it was filled up with water.

                “What is she doing here?” Some girl asked pointing to me. I slipped my hood over my head and turned to walk away but bumped into somebody. I looked up to see a tall buff guy with dark brown eyes and dark black hair. He glared down at me and I back away.

                “I’m so sorry.” I whimpered.

                “Just get away stupid. No one wants you here; go jump off a cliff or something, it would do the world a great favor.”  He pushed me aside and I slammed into the refrigerator. I hissed as my head hit the handle sending a wave of pain into my body.

                “Yeah stupid, just die will you? No one would care.” Some girl laughed, the whole room of people joined in with the laughter.

                “Promise?” I asked.  Suddenly a whole bunch of people yelled answers all around me, I heard no, no. Tears filled my eyes and I backed up to go to my room.

                “Awh, she is crying. Does the little baby need a hug?” Ella asked. Everyone burst into laughter once again and her smiled only grew bigger. “Well to bad, no one would ever want to touch you. Pathetic little tramp.” She laughed and soon everyone was laughing even harder. I turned around and ran to my room pushing past the people laughing at me. Many people pushed me as I ran but I ignored it. I ran into my brother and he glared at me.

                “Go to your room.” Mark glared.

                “Forever shall I be.” I glared back at him. He laughed and pushed me aside, I hit the wall with a thud. I rubbed my head and ran to my room. I slammed the door, but with the music it couldn’t be heard. I grabbed my phone and saw I had a text. My heart thumped as I rushed to see who it was from.

                Mom- After the party I need you to clean up, if you don’t I will take your phone away. Have a nice night at the party; don’t be such a loser alright? Be more like your brother!

My stopped beating fast and slowed down. I sighed and dropped my phone on my bed.

                “I can’t do it anymore grandma.” I whispered letting the tears finally fall. “Please, let me come to you. Please.” I whispered. I thought of my grandma and how she died just about five years ago. In a week she would be dead for five years. “Wouldn’t it be a great present for your five year to be seeing me?” I stopped taking to myself and froze. I smiled and jumped up to my computer. I clicked on face book and went to the notes. I smiled as I typed away. Typed away all the feeling I have ever had. After an hour of typing and typing to everyone that ever made me mad or sad. I got to this guy named Seth; he was the cutie in my class. The perfect guy for me. I frowned as I knew I would never get him. He never had a girlfriend but was looking, he was a football player so all the girls where after him. He had short blond hair and a smile that made my heart melt at the thought. I typed his name in just like all the others.

                To Seth Black; I have always thought you where cute, and in my mind you where perfect to me. I wish you could see me now, hold me as tears fall down my face, but that’s not possible now. Because now I’m gone. I’m sorry you missed out of someone as great as me. I think I loved you. But I was too scared to say hello. So now I saw goodbye.

I finished the message and then I went to my ending paragraph. 

                To everyone I already mentioned; I hope you all see how bad people you are, and how much you drew me to this ending. I hope you are nice from now on. I hope you realize how nice of a person I was. Because I never hated any of you. So good bye, I hope you understand how wonderful life is, because I never had the chance to. Don’t worry, I won’t be gone much, I’ll still haunt you all. Have a nice life.

I sent the face book note out and logged off of face book with a status that said “May I rest in peace.” I ran to my parents room and dug through there closet, finally I got to what I wanted. I grabbed the box and ran to my room pushing past people. I shut the door and slipped out of my clothes, I slipped into nice skinny jeans that I loved. I put a push up bra on and a tight new shirt from Hollister I had just gotten. It took me a long time to get the money for it. I put some make up on and let my light brown hair fall down in a wave. I frowned and looked at the box thinking twice about everything. Then my room door opened and a couple glared at me.

                “Oh EW, it’s her room. Let’s get another room; I don’t want her ugly to get me.” The girl told her match for the night. He laughed and agreed they shut my door and I opened the box showing a nice small riffle. I grabbed the riffle and grabbed my favorite teddy bear my grandma gave me years ago. I sat down on my bed and took a look around my plain room. Thinking about everything thinking about everyone. Anger filled my heart and I put the riffle to my head. I frowned as tears ran down my face. I took a deep breath and screamed as loud as I could. I heard the music cut off and I screamed again right before I pulled the trigger.

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