THREE WEEKS GONE
Amity is slowly fading, he rapes her a few more times in the next week, Rossi, Garcia and I can't be in the room when this occurs. Afterwards she pulls her knees into her chest and presses her face into her legs. She makes herself small and then after a while she begins to talk to us, tells us stories about her parents and funny memories with the team. She tries to keep upbeat now she knows we're watching. I don't know if this better or worse.
When he walks in his demeanour is different.
"So, I've got a little present. This is where those restraints are going to come in handy." Finlay smirks. He jumps at her, pinning her down, putting her hand in the loop and strapped her down before doing the other one. She tries to fight but she's weak. By the time he does her ankles she's given up resisting.
He pulls up the chair in the room and pulls a little glass vial from his pocket. He puts it on the surface next to her bed. He then pulls out a see-through bag of needles and a syringe. The world stops.
"Now, do you know what Dilaudid is?" Finlay asks her lightly. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
"No." She replies. Of course she doesn't. The room tenses.
"You mean Spencer never told you?" he gasps dramatically. "Did he ever tell you about Tobias Hankel?"
"Of course."
"But he never told you about Dialaudid?"
"No!" she snaps, getting impatient.
"Well, during his brief stay with Mr Hankel your boyfriend went through something traumatic, his kidnapper injected him with Dialaudid, its a drug much like morphine, but its stronger. More euphoric, used recreationally more, very susceptible to addiction. Spencer is one of those, geniuses usually struggle with addiction. So your boyfriend was a smack head for a while. Its so weird that he didn't tell you that, I thought you two were, like, the perfect couple."
His voice is light and mocking, imitating a girlish gossipy tone.
Garcia turns to me slowly, I don't look at her. I focus on Amity, she looks hurt.
"You never told her?" Garcia's tone is incredulous.
"No." I answer simply. I never did. I never told her, I didn't want her to know. I don't know why. Now it seems so stupid. Of course she'd be fine with it. Amity is the most accepting person in the world.
"So what do you think of that then, Amity?" Finlay spits her name and it angers me to hear him say it.
"There must be a reason he didn't tell me." she says quietly, but her voice is flat.
Finlay starts setting up the syringe, filling it with the liquid and watching as it spurts out as he pushes the plunger forward. I watched it and knew it so well. The part of me that will forever be an addict, no matter how long I went without, how much stronger I get, I ache for it. I close my eyes and think about how simple it would be to just take it up again. To forget all this in a drug haze. I force my eyes open and watch as he takes off his belt and ties it just above her elbow. He taps at the crease where her upper and forearm meet and waits for veins to rise to the surface.
"I'm guessing with you having an eating disorder and being an ex self-harmer you're also someone who is susceptible to addiction."
"I mean, its not like its going to ruin your life because you're not leaving this room ever again, it might even make your time here better." He laughs, Amity lays still, looking at the ceiling, no reaction. He pushes the needle into her arm and she doesn't even flinch. There's a pause before he pushes down on the plunger. There's brief moment where she inhales sharply and I know what she's going through, the moment of nothingness before the crash of elation, of euphoria. Her eyes roll back and her lips part, letting out the breath she had been holding in. He looks up at the camera and smirks.