Good night young Lightwoods
Or good evening, it depends on where you are
It's always night in the underworld
But I don't suppose all our reader are deceased
Of course they are, they have to read Crystal_Wolf358s writing and we both know how painful that is
Just the thought makes my head hurt
Anyway, enough of that. I've got a feeling this chapter is going to show my true talent
What do you mean?
Don't act so ignorant, we've already discussed what this chapters about
I mean what talent?
...
I don't understand
Whose ignorant now?
You Gideon, its always been you
See what I mean
Shut up you imbecile! This is perhaps one of the most important chapters to be written
Of course, I'll finally prove that I'm better
You're more of a fool than I thought!
If I'm such a fool then you introduce the chapter
We're over a hundred words in its well past introductions
Ah! Well do it anyway
Good evening young Lightwoods, I'm Gabriel
And I'm Gideon
And welcome to our guide to singing
Now, you might not know, but when we were twelve our father sent us to the hills in the far side of Idris so the nephilim there might teach us to sing
And they were so stunned with our talent that after only a week we were sent home
They had tears in their eyes when we left don't you know
Young Lightwoods you're so fortunate to have our blood flowing through your veins
And even luckier to have us teach you
We shall be sharing with you today the three most important lessons we learned
And by the time we're done you'll be singing like a choir of angels
Bravo brother! I think that was well done
It was indeed
Now, as was tradition long ago, we shall list off the order of all things considered. Gideon, you may begin
Firstly, you need maximum lung capacity to sing well, which means stand tall, back straight and breathe as deeply as you can before beginning
This will ensure you don't start hyperventilating at the sound of your own gracious voice
It happened to me once, and since I learned this tip I have never fallen off a stage, a horse, or a pole
Why would you be on a pole?
... Well not much happens in the underworld, does it!
Number two: smile! That way even if you sound like a cat being walloped by Gideons deformed spine and tiny brain they'll be so blown away by your magnificent teeth they'll pass out and forget how their ears ache
If your teeth are blackened it may have the same effect
Just remember to run before they start throwing stones
And last but but not least...
Remember that in the great mass if things your insignificant and that your probably no where near as good as me
Well said brother, well said!
Now I think its time for a demonstration
I think not
Just because I outshine you
Then let me sing
*scratching noise in the background*
*Unintelligible wailing*
*Whispered voices*
*Screeching*
I'm coming
Soon Jason, soon
AAAAHHHHOOOWWWAAAAAAWWWOOOWAAAA
What is that? Do you expect me to torture a guy who's obviously causing himself enough pain Gideon
Don't leave just yet, I sense a bright future ahead of us