UNEDITED
"No. No no no no Zayn, please tell me we didn't do anything. Look at me and explain to me that we just happened to be sleepy and fell asleep in the same bed. Please tell me that's it. Zayn, FUCK! I can't, I don't, I don't know what to do." Niall's voice resounded around Zayn's head. He was crying, breaking down in tears. His blue eyes were teary and dulled out.
"Ni, you and I both know what happened last night. We didn't go all the way but we did like get each other off. Fuck how could this happen?" Zayn looked up at the ceiling of the unfamiliar bedroom.
Niall had woken up and when he saw Zayn, his heart started beating erratically. All the memories came hurling back his way as soon as he looked at him. He remembered. He remembered what they had done but he was so in love with Harry, he couldn't help but deny everything and try to make it seem like all they did was sleep.
Niall heard his phone ping once more and he went for it, it was on the nightstand now, due to Zayn moving it.
Before Niall unlocked the phone, he looked at Zayn and asked the words that Zayn knew were coming.
"Did he see us?" Niall sniffled.
Zayn bowed his head, his eyes closing as he breathed in and out slowly.
Niall took that as an agreement and started bawling. It was worse and it broke Zayn's heart to see him like this. Zayn couldn't help but lean over and hug Niall.
"It's not okay. But we can get through this. I'm gonna fix everything okay? I'm so sorry that this had to happen. I feel like complete shit. I just, I was drunk, we were both drunk! And shit Niall, I'm gonna fix this, I'll fix this." Zayns eyes wavered a bit. He was going to fix this. He was going to show up to their dorm and he was going to talk to Harry whether it involved a punch in the face or not.
Niall looked down at his phone, Harry's text on the screen. He closed his eyes, a tear slipping out.
"Can you imagine how he must feel? He's been pining over me since before we started College and then he finally gets ahold of me and I come and fuck it all up." Niall shakes his head. The thought of Harry leaving him left him empty.
"He can't be that mad. I'm gonna go over there and you're coming with me and he's going to at least let you sleep in there. That is also your dorm Ni. He might not forgive you right there and then but I know eventually, as time passes by, he'll accept the apology. It's never gonna happen again. I promise." Zayn shook his head. He stood up and found his clothes, quickly putting each article on. Niall just stood up and slowly put on his clothes, he stopped mid shirt before his eyes got watery again.
"Niall c'mon, we gotta go. Think about it this way, the faster we do this, the faster he'll forgive you. But we gotta go." Zayn sighed, walking up to Niall to help him with the shirt. As soon as he finished, he closed his eyes and gently kissed his forehead. He led him outside to his car and they drove back to campus.
Inside was a whole different story, Niall couldn't do it. He couldn't face Harry and tell him about how things went down because Harry knows exactly how things went down.
Zayn was standing outside of the dorm room when he knocked once and opened the door.
Harry was sat at the foot of his own bed, his eyes tinged with red. He looked up and quickly bowed his head down but not before looking towards Niall.
"Get out." His jaw clenched.
"No. This is his room too." Zayn spoke, furrowing his brows.
"Well, soon it's not gonna be so it really doesn't matter anyway. Hey, maybe I can find a way to get you two a room. That'll be much better huh?" Dry humor dispersed around the room. It was far too quiet for Niall's liking.
"That doesn't matter. We don't like each other, we're not toge-" he was interrupted.
"You sure?" He smiled bitterly. "Hm. Seemed like you two were. Fucking behind my back, you would think you really were."
"Harry, baby, please listen to me." Niall finally spoke up, bringing his hands to his chest.
"I think I've heard enough. I'm leaving. Stay here or whatever, I just really don't even want to look at you right now." Harry strided towards the door.
He didn't make it far before Zayn grabbed his arm.
"Just listen to Ni-." Harry sped around, his eyes flaming with anger as his knuckles connected with Zayn's chiseled jaw.
"He was mine and I was his. Why the fuck would you go ahead and do that. We were fucking happy. Why couldn't you just leave it be. What? You saw Niall finally fucking happy for once and you couldn't handle it cause you can't get your hands on a fucking professor. That gives you no right to do what you fucking did last night. Both of you disgust me." Harry let out, his chest heaving as he looked at Niall, his eyes going soft but then turning cold. He simply turned around and left the room.
Niall was standing on the other side of the room, shocked and sad, as tears streamed down his face. He quickly recovered and went for the mini fridge in the room, grabbing an ice pack and bringing it to Zayn's jaw.
"Y-you alright?" Niall sniffled.
"Damn, that hurt. Kinda deserved it though. At least he didn't touch you." Zayn groaned as he massaged his temples.
"Zayn." Niall whimpered.
"Niall." Zayn huffed.
"Zayn, I really love him." Niall's voice broke.
"I know you do." Zayn sighed, his head pounding.
Niall really didn't know what to do In times like these. He was sat, studying for a pre calc test when Harry walked in, a girl at his side, he grabbed his wallet and left with her.
Niall looked down, a faint smile breaking his features and his heart. He really didn't know what to do in times like these.
"Why do you do that to me? As if you don't see me suffering enough." Niall asked a couple days later. He didn't feel it was fair to him because Harry loves him and vice versa.
Harry simply ignored him, his face firm and stern.
"Harry." Niall called.
Harry didn't answer.
"Harry, baby." Niall whispered.
Harry's face crumpled, his eyes closing as he breathed in and out, trying to control himself. None of this was his fault. He likes to think of it that way.
"Love, I want to apologize to you." Niall turned in his bed.
"I hate sleeping in this stupid bed when I know I could be sleeping in your arms." Niall whispered.
Silent tears streamed down Harry's face.
"Baby, I know you don't deserve this. I know you wanted to kill Zayn. I know you also wanted to castrate me. It was all my fault, I take full blame for everything. I did something I wasn't supposed to do and I'm so sorry for that. I hope that one day, you find it in you to forgive me because honestly, you're it for me. I don't need anyone else to love me the way you do. And I don't need to love anyone else the way I love you." Niall finished. He got up and simply walked out of the room.
Harry sat there, face blank as the tears kept rolling down. Niall was definitely it for him.
"I'm ready." Harry firmly spoke, his gaze not moving from the quarter he kept exchanging in between his fingers
"Yes okay. Okay." Niall breathed out. He's finally got his chance but he didn't know what in hell Harry was talking about.
"Um, ready for exactly what?" Niall's eyes rounded.
Harry smiled and looked up at Niall. "I want to hear what happened at the party."
"Oh. That. Yeah okay." Niall looked down.
"I was drunk, like black out drunk and I honestly didn't remember you telling me you were leaving to go drop off your friend. So I mean you can imagine what I automatically feel when a taller guy comes behind me and starts to dance with me. I-I thought it was you and I didn't bother checking if it was you. It was dark and I was about to black out from all the dizziness so I went upstairs with what I thought was you and yeah, you got the rest." Niall sighed, running his fingers through his hair.
"Did you." Harry breathed before he exchanged the rest of his words. "Did you have sex with him?" Harry frowned.
"No. No I didn't." Niall answered.
"So what happened, Niall." Harry asked, his eyes never faltering.
"We got each other off. Grinded. But that's it. That's it, I promise." Niall pleaded.
"Okay, put yourself in my shoes for a moment. Let's say I, oh I don't know, went out one night and cheated on you, was unfaithful. And you found out the next morning. Just imagine how you would feel if you supposedly love me so much." Harry's voice was breaking.
"Harry I do love you." Niall assured him.
"Let me finish. How would you feel if that happened. Tell me." Harry spoke with such sadness in his voice, it was going right through Niall.
"I sure as hell wouldn't bring another girl in here to show her off just to break your heart even more." Niall glared. Now he was getting pissed.
Harry chuckled and looked down at his shoes.
"Just tell me how you would feel, Niall."
"Alright. I would be sad, heartbroken and absolutely pissed."
"And how would you handle the situation. Surely you wouldn't handle it lightly." Harry spoke in his deep voice.
"I honestly would ask you to give me time to think." Niall answered. Then he realized. Harry was about to do just that.
"No no. I wouldn't do that." Niall quickly corrected himself. But the words had already left his mouth and Harry was already standing up.
"I need time to think." Harry spoke. Niall cringed inwardly.
"Harry, please. That's not what I meant." Niall spoke, that familiar pain he's felt in his chest these past couple of days began to flourish.
Harry began to walk out of the room. "I gave you the chance and you couldn't take it. I'm not saying you made the wrong decision. I think you made the right one because things can't go back to being all dandy and shit. This isn't just hurting you, it's hurting me. Believe me when I say it's hurting me. But this is good. Things can't be fixed with the snap of fingers just like that. It can't. But I appreciate your honesty. I really do. Maybe a break is what we need."
"No it's not." Niall interrupted, his blue eyes looked at Harry. "It's not what we need."
"I really don't wanna break up with you and I'm sure you don't either." He was about to shut the door behind him but quickly retracted.
"Oh and by the way, that girl that walked in with me the other day was my sister." He left.
A/N: the amount of love I'm getting for this book :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)