A Long Day
“so, how was your day?” my Gran asked, appearing from the kitchen, as I stepped through the door. She smiled sweetly as she waited for my reply. Hoping to hear good news.
“good.” I stated simply, as I slipped my shoes off and hung up my, now full, school bag.
To be honest I didn't want to go into detail and I guess she understood. I was glad my Gran was the understanding type, and didn't push – well, on most things.
She smiled at me once more, “great. Dinner will be ready at six.” she told me before slipping back into her kitchen.
I sighed with relief, grateful that I could finally be alone. It had been a long day. Every class I was introduced as the new girl, which was obvious if you ask me. In a town this small everyone had grown up with each other. Also it was the only high school in the area, besides the private school just a 20 minute drive outside of town, so every one knew who was who, and who was new. Each teacher would make me stand up and tell them a bit about myself. Each time I repeated my name, where I came from and that I now lived with my grandparents. Nothing more, nothing less.
I learnt that Mr Walker, or James whatever, was one of a kind. Most of the other teachers in the school were 'old' school. Not carefree and hippieish like he seemed to be in our brief encounter. The classrooms were all conventional; rows of tables with seating plans, boring displays of students' work, no talking during the lectures, and so on and so forth. But in a way I was glad. It would have been weird to suddenly be in a more relaxed school. It would have meant another change and I just didn't think my brain could take it.
Max made sure to escort me to every class so that I wouldn't get lost in the tiny school, even though I said it was impossible for that to happen, and even if we weren't in the same class. The boy was persistent I'll give him that.
Lunch was a nightmare. I tried to sit by myself, with my bottle of water and apple from the morning, but people kept taking it upon themselves to talk to me and try to include me. Each time they found it strange that I would reject their invitation to sit with them, and muttered that I must just be shy and needed time as they walked away.
Of course they didn't know that I was once the complete opposite. I used to be a social butterfly, one that would have jumped at every opportunity to make new friends with every and any social group. But now I just didn't see the point.
Max however, did not leave even when I told him the seat was in fact not free. But luckily he didn't bring his entourage over with him either. A few from my form had wondered over at first but a girl who I had not yet met called them over to the middle table, the table which seemed to be the one that all the 'popular' people sat at – some things never change.
Each time he would try to strike up a conversation I would just ignore him or give him one word answers, hoping that he would give up and go sit with his friends. On the way home it was worse. The twenty minute drive from school just wouldn't go quick enough. He just kept repeating himself in hope that I would answer in a way he deemed appropriate. It was annoying to say the least and I wanted nothing more then to be left alone. Could he not see that?
Tomorrow I was going to find a new way to get too and from school. Maybe there was a bus I could get.
I trudged upstairs to my room and flopped on the bed, face first with an 'ouf' as the air expelled from my lungs forcefully. I was shattered. Mentally and physically tired from trying to pay attention in class and not faze out and also from the onslaught of happy people wanting to get to know me, some times all at once. I honestly felt like pulling my hair out, shouting 'when will the welcoming comity ever end' at the top of my lungs. How could they all be so darn happy? Maybe I could take what ever they were having.
Basil jumped up and sniffed at my lying form.
I smiled at the fluffy creature and ruffled his fur making his head and ears move with my hand. He always knew how to make me feel better.
Grabbing my sketch pad I decided to doodle for a bit till dinner was ready. I hadn't been given any homework yet and I didn't fancy looking over the long list of electives yet again. Every option would mean interacting with others and most likely having to involve myself in school activities, because I definitely wasn't going to pick art and share my drawings with anyone, any time soon.
I pressed play on my stereo and turned the volume down to a back ground noise. With Basil now curled up by my side, snoring softly, I flipped to a fresh page and let my mind go blank as my hand drew with the pencil I held loosely between my fingers.
All too soon six o'clock came around so I washed up ready for dinner. I didn't bother to look at my drawing, well look at it properly, I would save that for later, before I went to bed, to give me something to do perhaps.
I wasn't hungry, as to be expected, and luckily Gran had anticipated this by cooking up a light vegetable soup.
Gramps asked me about my day, and pressed for more information other then it being good. Maybe it was because he really wanted to know or maybe it was because it would give him a break from listening to my Gran go on about something unimportant. I don't know, but he smiled encouragingly as I told him insignificant things like what I had learnt in English literature or how much the price of my water was today at lunch.
Exhausted from the whole day I was glad to escape my grandparents after dinner and headed outside like I had the previous nights.
Only this time I opted for the back garden.
My grandparents were somewhat good at gardening, and with all the free time they had now days, they kept the gardens in great shape. There wasn't a bush that wasn't preened, nor a stray dead weed in sight.
The garden back onto a small woodland area, making the back of the long garden dark by the encroaching trees. There was a small patio area just outside the door and the rest was grass boarder by shrubs, flowers, bushes and trees. It had a small pond to the left, with lillys floating on top and fish swimming in the water. The sound of the perpetual pump could be heard in the still night air, the noise soothing and relaxing. I could see why people thought that water features were peaceful. Because of the warmer climate here there were still flowers blooming. Each of them glowing in the moon light.
I walked to the back of the garden, to sit on the bench under the canopy formed by branches of trees, and looked out at the garden. Soft blueish light filtered through small gaps between the leaves and I watched as dust floated like glitter in the small beams of light. Dancing in the soft breeze with out a care in the world.
Basil was off doing his usual doggy things. He was used to the place now and no longer felt the need to rush around like a mad dog. Now he simply trotted from one bush to the next, happily remarking his territory as he went.
Out in the night air was fast becoming my happy place. It was becoming a habit of mine to wonder out and just sit in silence, letting myself slip into a daze and letting my mind wonder off on it's own with out having to worry.
That was the good thing about living in a small town, there was rarely any noise at night. It was always so quiet and still.
When I was younger I had hated it. It creeped me out how little I could hear, being used to the sound of a busy city, simple things like cars rolling past. But now that I was older, and somewhat different too, I was comforted by it. Soothed almost by the knowledge that I was alone and undisturbed. That I could sit out here and not have to worry about over hearing the neighbours scream and shout at each other.
It was strange how the small towns' people seemed to be more tolerant of one another, how families seemed like the ideal ones you imagined only lived in brochures and crappy TV programmes. I mean I'm sure they aren't all perfect and have their disagreements but in places like this it's generally kept quiet. Because unlike a big city, everybody would be interested if the McDougall's were having a rough patch, and a shouting match would definitely not go unnoticed.
I sighed heavily. Yes everybody around here was definitely in each others pockets. I had never really thought about how little I knew my neighbours back home. I don't even think I knew their names. I had taken the fact that I could be left alone to wallow the past few months for granted.
I hadn't really noticed how little people bothered with me any more till today. Everyone at my old school had just accepted that I wanted to be alone and allowed it. Here everyone just kept pushing and pushing to get something out of me. Maybe moving here wasn't such a good idea?
I guess only time will tell.
“Roxie, it's getting late.” Gran called out, her voice was soft and kind but there were undertones of authority in it. A tone that I couldn't ever ignore, no matter how much I really wanted to stay out here.
I whistled for Basil making him shoot out of a bush over to me and jumped up my leg. Smiling down at the little guy I ruffled his fur and headed inside.
Gramps was stood by the stove stirring milk in a pan, warming it up. As I stepped inside he turned and gave me his signature smile. Sort of lopsided and goofy, but one I loved and missed these past few years.
“want some cocoa?” he asked as I locked up the back door.
I stared longingly out at the garden wanting nothing more then to escape back out there. Fixing a smile on my face I turned to him, “sure.”
I took a seat on one of the bar stools and rested my head in my hand, propping my chin on my palm, and watched as he made the chocolatey drink.
“here you go, extra marshmallows. Just for you.” he said proudly, placing a steaming cup in front of my nose.
I smiled gratefully. Closing my eyes as I inhaled the sweet scent, savouring the familiar smell. I hadn't had hot chocolate in ages.
It was the only hot drink I liked. Which was strange because I didn't particularly like chocolate, preferring fruity things instead. I used to drink it at the café all the time back home and order the deluxe special with extra chocolate. It was our thing to do on a Saturday morning.
A lump rose in my throat as I thought about those happy memories. Moments that would never, ever, happen again. Opening my eyes I pushed those thoughts back into their dark corner and willed my tear ducts to not betray me by leaking.
I poked the tiny marshmallows submerging them in the brown liquid, watching them bob back up again. I only had marshmallows here. Mum wouldn't buy them for me at home saying they weren't a necessity and they didn't do them at the café. I had tried putting just regular sized ones in the yummy drink but it just didn't work. I wonder what it is about the small ones that makes them taste different?
“so did you make any friends today? You didn't mention any earlier...” Gramps asked taking a sip of his drink. He eyed me suspiciously, waiting for my answer.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that I hadn't bothered making friends today. Nor did I plan on doing so any time soon. “sure. The kids here are all really nice.” I told him hoping he would accept that as an answer.
“Yeah. That Max boy, he's a good kid.” he commented, nodding to himself in agreement.
“hmmm.” I murmured, not wanting to make a comment on the boy that spoke way too much in my opinion. I mean the kid was relentless.
“quite the ladies man too from what I hear.”
I snorted. Of course he was. He probably had every girl at that school eating out of the palm of his hand, and probably in the literal sense a few times too. The glares from half the student body at lunch were enough evidence to show me that he was the dream guy of the school.
“better drink up, before it gets cold.” he nudged my cup and then stood up to wash his now empty cup out.
Obediently I did as I was instructed and hugged the mug with my hands, drinking greedily on the heavenly drink. Before I knew it my cup was empty and I couldn't help but pout like a little kid as I glared at the bottom of the mug.
Gramps chuckled at me taking the mug away from me as though it was in some serious danger of being destroyed. Believe me the thought had crossed my mind.
“well I best get to bed. I'll see you tomorrow.”
I turned to find him leaning in the door way looking me over with a kind smile. “night Gramps.” I chirped.
“night Roxie.” he said as he walked down the hall to his room.
Sill perched on the stool I stared out into the night, up at the twinkling stars in the distance. Millions of miles away. Floating forever in nothingness, well until they die. But then from something so sad sometimes comes a nursery or play ground for more brilliant white lights to be born and shine.
The sounds of Basils claws, clip-clapping, against the hard tiled floor of the kitchen pulled me from my daze. I watched as he slowly trudged out of the now cold room.
With a small sigh I looked over at the clock to find I had once again spaced out for a few hours. No wonder Basil had given up waiting for me. Poor little thing was probably uncomfortable on the hard floor.
Following his lead I made my way up to my bed, switching off the kitchen light as I went leaving me in darkness. Good job I wasn't afraid of the dark. Not such good thing that I was a bit clumsy at times, as I tripped on the corner of the door into my room.
Hobbling over to my bed, I flicked my lamp on to inspect my, sure to be swollen, toe. Luckily it wasn't too badly hurt just a little throbbing and red but that was all superficial.
I laid back on my bed and uncharacteristically, or at least for the new me, I yawned. The day had been a long one I guess. Meeting all those new people, having to try to not space out, to act somewhat normal.
Not wanting to move I wriggled out of my clothes and slid under the covers, careful not to disturb an already snoring Basil. I smiled at him and gently stroked the fur on his head. He stirred slightly, rolling closer to me like usual, and as he did he revealed the sketch pad I had been drawing in this afternoon.
Suddenly finding myself tired I didn't bother to look at the drawing I had done earlier. Instead I dropped the sketch pad on the floor and flicked the switch on the lamp, flooding the room with darkness.
Before I knew it I was asleep... and so came the dreams.