Our relationship totally changed after that talk. It's been exactly a week since that and even though we both were busy with classes, studying and him with his band, we managed to see each other every day. We have breakfast at the cafe every morning, text during the day and call each other at night. That was our routine throw the week, right now for example I'm going to the cafe for breakfast. Were he probably is already at, waiting for me.
I walk throw the door, and there he is. Sitting on the same table that we talk that first morning, the one we been using all week. He has his black coffee in his hands, and a vanilla latte in front of him for me.
I smile at him, and walk to the table. He stands up, and kiss me hello.
- Hello to you to. - I say with a big smile.
- I missed you. - He says.
- We saw each other yesterday morning, and talked last night... - I answer with amusement in my voice.
- I know. Twenty-four hours since the last time I saw that pretty face.
I blush at his words. Apparently I can't stop blushing whenever I'm around him, I can't even remember a time that I blushed in my life until now. I take a sip of my coffee, and he laugh at my reaction.
We go throw our coffees like every morning. We can talk for hours, but we don't do deep kind of conversation. He tries, though. He always will try to make the conversation to turn in some kind of twenty questions game. But I make it clear enough, again and again, that I'm not going to talk about my past with him. At least not for now.
Once we finish our coffees we make our way to the door. He opens it for me, and holds my hand while he walks me to my class. When we are at the door, I put my arms around his neck and kiss him. After a few minutes I push away, smile at him and turn to the door. He holds my arm, and I turn around.
He looks nervous, which is a really odd thing, given that he is one of the most confident person that I ever meet. My mind instantly thinks the worst, thinking he is trying to leave or something. I feel a strong pain in my chest to the thought. And I start to feel nervous myself.
- I was wondering, if you were going to do something tonight. - He says and laughs at myself, relaxing.
- Nope.
- Cool. Do you like to have dinner with me?
- Sure. - I say smiling at him and him finally come backs to his old self smiling back.
- Be ready around seven. And wear comfortable clothes.
- Where are we going? - I ask intrigued.
- You'll see. - he says with a cocky smile on his face.
After that I spend the whole day thinking of where we could go. And what should I ware. He said we were going for dinner, but to wear comfortable clothes. What in the hell are we going to do tonight, and what kind of clothes it's comfortable. I start to panic so much, that I left classes early.
I called Taylor and tell her about it, and she helped me to find a perfect outfit. That ended being a black baggy dress and black ankle boots.
After putting on my clothes, I made my make-up. Black eyeliner, mascara, and red lipstick. And then I straighten my hair.
Once I was ready I went out to the door of the dorms, soon enough to see Cage getting out of his car. He was wearing black tight jeans and a white t-shirt.
He smiles at me the moment that he sees me. We meet half way to his car. He put his arms around my waist as soon as I am close enough to do so. And my arms find their way to his neck.
- You look beautiful. - He says with his lips on my ear.
- So do you. - I reply.
He kisses my temple, and guides me to the passenger sit of his car. Then he opens the car door for me. I get in and wait for him to sit on the driver sit.
Just as he stars the car I ask him where we are going. He laughs at me and answer.
- What? You don't like surprises, love?
- I do. I just hate waiting and intrigue.
- You don't like surprises. Good to know. - He smiles at me and I roll my eyes. - You'll have to wait to know this time, though. If I tell you, your face when you see it won't be that good.
He says and turns the radio on, to stop my questions I suppose. We talk and sing along to the songs all the way. I still don't have a clue where we are going. We took a dark road, for a drive of almost twenty minutes. And then he stops the car in the middle of nowhere. And I start questioning myself if I'm not dating a psychopath, who's trying to kill me. If that was the case, then I make it pretty easy for him. I just let him take me to some desert place, at night and alone.
- Are you going to kill me or something? - I ask him.
He looks at me and laughs for all of five minutes when he realize I wasn't joking , then he recover himself enough to answer.
- No, love. I'm not, but I guess I get why you'll think that. This place looks scary. - He looks around and then gets out of the car.
- You think. - I murmur to myself.
He walks to my side and opens the door.
- come on. - He says and offer his hand. I hesitate for a second. - do you trust me?
- I do. - I say and realize that I actually, for some weird reason, do trust him. I hold his hand and get out of the car.
We walk for a few minutes throw the dark. Until we find the place. Is a clear full of plants, with an incredible look to the moon and stars. There's not a light in miles, except for the one that the moon and stars give us. It's so beautiful and peaceful.
- And that's the face I was talking about. - He says putting his arms around me.
- It's so beautiful.
- It is. - He agrees in a content and soothing voice.
- How did you find this place?
- I come here every time I need to think, or just... I don't know. Forget? This place has something that completely relaxes you. When I'm in here there's no worries in the world, there's no pain. How could be? It just doesn't make sense. - He looks at me and laugh. - I probably sound completely nuts right now.
- No, you don't. I kind of get it. I mean, a place like this makes you realize that the bad moments are worth it if you get to spend time here. You know what they say, beauty makes pain worth it. - I laugh because that sounded so terrible.
It doesn't make any sense what we are saying, but it's complicated to put it on words. It's just so relaxing and beautiful in here, those concepts as pain and worry doesn't cross your mind. And makes you realize that we should spend more time appreciating our surrenders instead of ruining them.
I don't know, just feels good.
- You know, I found this place a few years ago. My mom got sick with cancer, and I desperately needed I place to escape from all that shit. To just forget for all of a second. - He pause and I hold his hand; I can see a tear rolling down his face. - And just like magic, I found this place. I used to pass it all the time on the car, and never notice it. Until this one day. I run out of gas, just were we parked the car. And began to walk, until I find this. I remember I sit here looking at the sky, until the sun run out. And when the night came, it was so beautiful and peaceful. There for a second I just forgot of everything. I stayed till late at night. - he smiles without humor.- My brother was worry sick, since I didn't as much as call. He came to take care of me and my mom, given that she was to sick and I was only a teenager. He have it the worst, I guess. I spend most of my time here. While he was at home, taking care of her. And when I wasn't here, I was at some party or somewhere causing trouble. Only making it worst for him.
- I'm sure that he understands that you were in just too much pain. Everybody copes with pain in a different way.
- Yeah. Well, he was the one who haves to give away his life and dreams to take care of his trouble maker brother, and watch his mother slowly die on the process.
- That he was in pain and in a shitty situation doesn't mean you weren't too. I'm pretty sure you'll do it for him too. Wouldn't you?
- Yes, but...
- But you were too young, with too much shit on your plate to think of anyone else than yourself. Which is totally understandable. And you shouldn't torture yourself about it. Your brother did it because he wanted to. You don't own him nothing because of it. And you shouldn't feel guilty, cause you did nothing wrong. Though, I do think you should talk to your brother about it if it bothers you so much.
He didn't answer to that, he only embrace me in a tight hug for what felts like hours. And give me small kisses on my hair and neck. I thought I heard a thank you at some point, but was so quiet that I couldn't be sure.
After an hour or so, we recover enough to eat the sandwiches he made us. And the conversation becomes lighted and happy. I didn't bring the subject again, and he didn't ask anything about me, luckily. However I know that conversation is coming sometime on the near future, I will evade it as long as I can. And not only because of the pain that those memories bring to me, but also cause I know is only so much I can really be honest about with him, so he won't think I'm crazy. And I just know he will know that is more of the story and try to push me to tell him more. I can't tell him all, and I'm pretty sure he will think is because I don't trust him. And probably that is going to be the end of us.
So, yeah. I'm going to evade it as much as can. And just enjoy it while it last.
�N