; warning ; may be triggering for some people ;
"I'm fine!" Makoto says placing the towel on his dripping wet hair. He runs his fingers through his light coloured hair trying to brush out the knots from his hair. He smiles at you, his smile practically beaming with his eyes looking brighter than ever.
I loved Makoto.
I was always watching over him, making sure that he was alright. Yet, He would always reply with the same answer, "I'm fine."
He grew up without his mother because she died when Makoto was 2, from cancer. Who would have thought that Makoto had gotten the same cancer as his mother? That summer he was diagnosed with glioblastoma multiforme, a tumor in the brain.
It was on a Saturday night, I remembered it so clearly. We were sitting on the couch watching a movie when all of a sudden Makoto's head started hurting, as he described. I thought it must have been a headache so i went to get medicine, but when i came back Makoto was on the floor with both of his hands on his head shaking. I called the Ambulance and he was immediately rushed to the emergency room.
His dad rushed to the hospital as well, leaving work as soon as one of the nurses had called him. I knew for sure that this was more serious than i expected. Me and his dad had waited well over 4 hours, trying to avoid falling asleep.
Finally the nurse came out forming her hands in a fist shape while hesitatingly walking up to the both of us. She clears her throat before saying the words that i would never thought would break my heart so much.
"Tachibana Makoto, has got stage 2 cancer, more well known as glioblastoma multiforme. Doctors have done some x-rays, and it seems that the cancer is slowly spreading. It seems as this is a common case, and can usually be removed. But for Makoto, he has left it too late. We don't know if we are able to fully remove the cancer, But we will try our best. Makoto is sleeping right now, if you would like to see him then please do so before visiting hours are done."
Tears start streaming down my face as i fall to the ground. Had it really come down to this? Why Makoto...Why was it him?
I knew his dad was sobbing, very small wimps of cries came out. It was painful for the both of us to find out the person you loved had been diagnosed with cancer. I kept my hope strong for Makoto though, i wanted to give him as much hope that he will win against the cancer...
The doors open revealing another nurse holding a clipboard in her hand. She looks at the both of us with a very sad look in her eyes.
"Sir....Ma'am, You can go inside now."
The both of us look up, I wipe my tears and get off the floor and take a quick glance at Makoto's father before entering to see Makoto on the bed. They were monitoring his breathing, his heart rate, and any movements caused in the hands and brain. He was peacefully asleep with his eyes closed and his now pale skin making him look sickly.
I couldn't help more tears fall out, I let my thoughts take over me, thinking of all the terrible things that could happen to Makoto. I didn't want to lose him, my childhood friend and my lover. But I was hopeless.
I grabbed his hand as drops fell onto the tips of your fingers. His father stood behind me, taking a sight of his young son, looking so fragile and cold as if he was already dead.
"Mr.Tachibana? May I have a word with you for a second?" One of the doctors says, taking off his gloves in the process.
Makoto's dad nods wiping away his tears before walking up to the doctor.
I had managed to overhear the conversation and make up the sentences that they were both saying. Makoto was set to have surgery done in three days at another hospital, it seemed as though they couldn't possibly remove the tumor at this hospital.
Tears had suddenly came about again as my body had started to shake and i was unable to properly look up at the two speaking.
All i wished for was Makoto to be okay, i wanted to give Makoto as much power so he could do this.
Taking a quick glance at Makoto who was still in the same spot as before, i slowly walk closer to the doctor and Makoto's dad. Makoto's dad coughs uneasy trying to hold any more tears that were yet to come out.
"I'll inform you about the procedure more tomorrow, It's getting late now and i'm sure you're very sleepy." The doctor lifts up his sleeve to take a look at his watch that was adjusted on his right wrist.
Makoto's dad nods as he watches the doctor turn around and walk away. I could see he was in more pain.
I cough catching his attention so i could speak up. "I-If you don't mind...can i stay the night with Makoto? I'll make sure that he will be alright and i will tell the nurse straight away if-" Makoto's dad puts both of his hands on my shoulders making me stop blabbering on.
"You can stay with Makoto, i trust you." He closes his eyes smiling even though he was still sad.
You whisper a thank you before he removes his hands from my shoulders walking to the door saying a quiet goodbye. You walk to the nearest chair and move it closer to Makoto's bed. I take a seat placing my hand on top of Makoto's hand.
"Live Makoto....Live." I say biting my lip pushing back the tears. After 5 minutes i went to turn off the lights and lightly rested my head on Makoto's bed closing my eyes.
;
"Excuse me..?" I feel someone's hand on my shoulder moving me.
I groan as i slowly open my eyes lifting myself from Makoto's bed. I look on the right to see a nurse. I move my head back towards Makoto who was slowly waking up as well. "Makoto..." I say as tears fill up my eyes.
He looks up at me with a slight smile on his face. He moves his hand onto my cheek, wiping away the tears that had fallen.
I tried to speak but i couldn't get the words to come out. It was as if Makoto already knew my question that i was going to tell him. He moves his hands to mine, holding them tightly. "I'm fine, ________"
The nurse moves over to the side of Makoto checking the blood bag that was attached to Makoto's arm and the monitor that kept track of Makoto's heartbeat.
"Seems good...." The nurse says quietly to herself before giving a quick smile to Makoto. "Although your going to be doing lots of tests today." Her smile soon fades as she sighs leaving the two of us alone.
As soon as the door closes i give Makoto a huge hug making him surprised, although he hugs back making me feel his warmth on me.
"Excuse me..." Makoto's dad bows before entering the room looking straight at the both of us hugging.
I quickly let go of Makoto looking back at Makoto's dad embarrassed. "S-Sorry"
He just shakes his head smiling. "How are you feeling Makoto?" He says walking over to us holding a bag with bottles of water.
"I'm feeling good" Makoto says smiling as Makoto's dad takes out the bottles of water handing it to both of us.
"I'm sure your thirsty, and you won't be getting breakfast until 9:30 so drink up until then." He smiles as he glides a chair near the door and moves it next to mine.
"Thank you" I say as he hands me the water bottle. I slowly unscrew the cap lifting the opening to my mouth drinking the water.
It was a very long and scary wait, but it was finally the day where he was getting sent to the other hospital where he "will" be getting his tumor out. I prayed non-stop the night before praying for Makoto to be okay.
You're going to be okay Makoto." His dad reassure's him placing his large hand over his forehead.
We were in the back of the Ambulance where Makoto was lying down, pale and weak. We both sat on either side of him watching as his lifeless eyes look at the two of us. He still manages to give a smile even though we both knew he was in pain.
You grab his hand holding it. With little strength, he touches my hand stroking the tips of my fingers. You take a deep breath having faith that Makoto will live.
The vehicle slowly stops and the doors open from the back making the sunlight hit the inside.
I squint my eyes at the two nurses taking hold of Makoto's bed that had slowly glided off and reached the floor because of its wheels.
I watch as they take Makoto inside while i take my bag and wait for Makoto's dad who seemed to be worried about his son.
"Have some faith in him, He's stronger than he looks." You pat the back of his back walking in the same pace as him.
He just takes a deep breath before whispering "i know."
Makoto went straight in for surgery. His surgery almost took a whole day, But the results came in straight after it. They were able to remove 99% of his cancer..except for the 1%. I didn't care at the time, i was just happy that Makoto was going to be alright, well that's what i thought back then....
"Makoto!" You see the smiling Makoto sitting up on his hospital bed eating some fruit.
"You did it!! I'm so happy..." He places his fruit bowl down giving me a hug making me smile.
"Where's dad?" He asks curious you let go of him sitting in a nearby chair. "He's gone to get you some proper food."
He chuckles stretching. "Well that's good, i can finally talk to you." You blush a bit hitting him lightly.
"What do you want to talk to me about?" His smile slowly fades and he looks down.
"Remember in third grade how i told you i was waiting for the right person to fall in love with...? Well I've been hiding it for all these years...but since my time is running out i thought i should finally tell you..I-"
"I'm back! They had a grocery near here so i thought i would get you something nice." Makoto's dad says interrupting our talk.
"What's wrong? Did i do something? And why is your face all red ________?" I hold my hands up to my face feeling the heat on my cheeks.
"I-It's nothing..Uh please excuse me i'm going to the bathroom!" I get up with my legs shaking as i don't look back at Makoto and walk straight to the bathroom.
"Get a hold of yourself ______!!" I say to myself looking in the mirror. I slap my cheeks hard wincing in pain.
I couldn't stop thinking about what Makoto said yesterday or the day after, he never brought it up again. Seems he was just as embarrassed as i was. I decided to leave it until he was comfortable to talk about it again.
"Morning" I say walking into Makoto's room closing the door behind me.
He looks up at me smiling. I noticed he was covering his hair with a towel. I laugh and walk towards to him about to take of the towel but he grabs my wrist stopping me.
"Please....don't..." He let's go of your wrist as i slowly pull away from his hair and look at the red mark that has now appeared on my wrist. He was still strong even though he had this terrible illness.
"I'm sorry.." You say silently. He shakes his head. I didn't understand why he got so defensive.
"No, I'm sorry i didn't mean to be so serious...It's just-" He stops himself changing the topic.
"Today i'm going to try walking..It's been a while so i hope i do good." He gives me a thumbs-up making me giggle.
"I'm sure you'll do fine!" I give him a thumbs-up back making him break into a smile, not like the serious face that he had before.
"Good Morning Makoto, Good morning ______" I look up surprised that the nurse had remembered my name but shrug it off and greet her back.
"Today will be tough, but i'm sure you can do it. I've prepared your wheel chair and food will be in....uhh 15 minutes. I'll be back shortly."
The nurse waves before leaving us alone again. I take Makoto's hand and intertwine it with mine. I smile and look at Makoto who had turned red. I let go of his hand and place my hand in my lap looking away embarrassed.
Minutes of silence passed until i suddenly speak up. "I'm going to the shops today while you start practicing your legs, do you need anything while i'm gone?" I look on the floor to see my bag was there.
"Hmm..If you wouldn't mind, can you get me a beanie?" My ears peak up and i look at him in question.
"Why do you need one?" He looks startled but still answers.
"I haven't washed my hair yet, so it's really oily so i don't want anyone to see it." He laughs.
"Well sure i can buy you one! So is that the reason why you wore a towel on your head, gheesh Makoto i won't laugh at you because of your oily hair! I have those days too." I laugh playing with my hair.
He just laughs again but you can tell he was feeling uncomfortable, almost as if he was lying about it. But i decide to shake off that feeling and change the topic and talk about other things until the nurse came with a plate with tea, rice, vegetables, meat and pudding.
"Here's your meal, Oh let me just quickly get your fork and spoon." The nurse says going next door bringing back the utensils.
"Now go and eat and once your done we can start!" She smiles looking at Makoto. She then looks over at me.
"Thanks for being a good girlfriend to Makoto, I'm sure he needs you right now." Your face goes red as you shake your head.
"G-Girlfriend?!? We're just friends!" Makoto nods agreeing with me.
"Really? But Your dad said you two were....Hmm maybe i'm hearing things wrong.." She says looking confused as she walks out closing the door.
"How awkward was that?" I say to Makoto who's giggling. I lean against his bed laughing.
"Hurry up and eat!! I wanna go to the shops." I say yawning. I get off his shoulder and see him pick up his spoon starting to eat.
Once he was done i went straight out the the shops going into one of the men's shop, looking for a beanie. None had really caught my eye, so i decided just to get him a grey beanie.
When i was done i go straight back to the hospital to see Makoto puffed out and all sweaty.
"Makoto! Are you okay?" He was in his wheel chair now. He almost looked as if he'll pass out.
"A-Ah..Yeah i just....did that..." He points over to the silver bars which is where he walked. I could tell it was hard for him to talk so i scrimmaged through my plastic bag to pull out the grey beanie.
"Here you are! I'm not sure if you like it...But the shops nearby didn't have any cool ones." I laugh handing him the beanie. He instantly smiles feeling the fabric on his fingers.
"Thanks...I better go and try it on." He places it in his lap and starts moving his wheel chair to the bathroom.
"I could have just done it for you...." I say, although it was too late as he already left. I sit down and take out a small apple juice carton putting the straw in and drinking it. I smile as i drink the juice closing my eyes.
I was very tired to say the least, but having something to drink made me feel a little more awake.
"_______!!" I hear Makoto's voice call out. I look over in the direction where i heard Makoto's voice to see him wearing the grey beanie i gave him.
"Hey, It's actually not that bad!" I stick my tongue out jokingly as he moves next to me.
The day had carried on as the others, We talked, played card games, and ate. It was almost night time when i decided to check up on Makoto one last time before leaving. I had gone to his room but he wasn't in his bed.
"Makoto?" I call out. I look around the room but saw no signs of him, The bed was neatly fixed and nothing seemed out of ordinary except for a small piece of paper next to his bed. I pick it up but to my surprise there was nothing written on it.
I was about to throw it in the bin until i spotted something unusual in the bin.
"H-Hair?" I say bending down to pick up the short pile of hair that was inside the trash can. I move the trash around discovering more hair. It was Makoto's hair.
"Why is Makoto's hair in the bin...Did he cut it?" I say to myself not realizing someone had gone into the room as well.
"No, His hair fell out...because of his cancer." Makoto's dad stands next to me as i drop the hair back in the bin.
I start crying finally realizing why he was covering his hair.
Wiping my tears, i get off the floor and look at Makoto's dad. "Do you...know where he is?"
He tells me, moving aside so i can go through the door.
I hurriedly walk out to where Makoto was to see him looking out the window in his wheelchair.
"Makoto.."
He looks back, his tired and dull green eyes watching you. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.
"Do you know...the truth?" Makoto says trying to hold back tears. He didn't want to cry in front of the one he loved and cherished the most.
I nod slowly walking up to him, moving my hands on his shoulders down to his chest. I rest my head on his shoulder, wetting his shirt with the tears that i started to let out.
"What am i supposed to do Makoto? How can i help you...?" I started to cry louder. He just kept his lips shut and looked out through the window.
"This can't be it...." I say holding onto him tightly. I look up to see my face reflecting back on the window. I was all red with tears everywhere on my face.
"I'm sorry...I know it's hard for you too...I'm sorry..." I bite my lower lip about to move my arms away but Makoto lightly grabs onto my hand.
"I just want you to be with me...until my last-" He stops himself, surprising himself with the sudden outburst of tears and whimpers.
We both stayed silent and just looked out the window.
Makoto's cancer couldn't be fixed. There was no possible cure, the only thing the doctors could do was keep him alive for 1 more month...Everyday i spent as much time as i could with him, keeping him company. But everyday he started to grow sicker and sicker, til the point where he couldn't even get out of bed. He just lied there, Unable to move, Unable to speak, Unable to eat, Unable to do anything. It was almost as if everything was sucked out of him, and he was just a lifeless body.
"Hey Makoto, Your friends wanted me to give this to you. Their going to come around tomorrow to give you a visit! Aren't you excited?" I was holding a card covered in doodles from the Iwatobi swimming club.
Makoto looks at you, his eyes so desperate and sad. No response.
"Well i'll go ahead and read it for you!" I open the card and smile.
"YOU CAN DO IT MAKOTO!"
Makoto, It's been weird without you here!
We have a final competition coming soon, wish you were here.
We all miss you...please get better and come back to the swimming team!
Love, The Iwatobi Team ♡
- Haru, Nagisa, Rei
I close the card. They haven't found out that Makoto's cancer is incurable. Makoto didn't want me to tell them.
"I'll leave it here then..!" I say putting the card on the table. Makoto looked at you, slowly moving his eyes away.
"Are you tired? I'll go leave then!" I say adjusting his pillow and fixing his blanket that had fallen off him.
I felt his cold hands touch my hand. I smile and grab his hand stroking it. He slowly started to close his eyes and ended up falling asleep. I let go of his hands and walk out the room, looking at him one more time.
That was the last time i saw him alive.
He passed away in his sleep. The cancer had taken over his whole body...He was gone.
I remember this moment so clearly. I came back to check up on him, i had bought his favorite candy. He was sleeping, But there was no signs of movement. His heart beat had stopped. He was dead. Just like that. I knew this day was going to come...but why now?
1 Month Later
"Excuse me!" I say standing in front of the entrance to the Tachibana house. I open the door taking off my shoes quietly. I sigh and take a look at the familiar entrance. I tightly hold onto the bunch of flowers and head over to Makoto's room.
Makoto's dad had become depressed and was surviving on gambling and alcohol. He ended up moving out leaving away the memories he had shared in this house. No one lived here anymore, But i still visit here everyday and bring flowers.
The sunlight from the open window beams onto the bed. I smile feeling the warmness that this room had. It was almost as if he was still here with me. I place the flowers on his desk and walk over to his bed slowly lying down.
I feel something under my head. I use my hand to push my weight up, and flip the pillow so it was facing the other way. There was something hidden inside the pillow cover.
I pull it out of the cover revealing a white letter with _______ written in big letters on the front.
Confused, I open up the white piece of paper.
Dear ______,
I hope your read this when you have found about my "problem."
I've always known i had cancer, but i never had the courage to tell you. I was scared you'd leave me, knowing i was sick.
I know i don't have long to live, much yet be with you.
Keeping this a secret was hard, Sometimes my symptoms would show randomly. I was scared. But when i was with you i felt better. I felt fine.
I know it's late, but thank you for always being with me, I love you _______.
I'll carry the memories of you and i forever.
- Makoto
I start shaking as i see drops of water fall onto the paper. I hold the paper close to myself.
Even if he's gone, I still remember him.
Thank you Makoto.
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woooo!!! this is finally finished!
this took me a couple of months to finish (since this is over 4000 words....)
I'm sorry if the ending is a little rushed, i just didn't want this to drag on (๑◕︵◕๑)
As always, please give a vote/comment and thanks for reading .+:｡(ﾉ･ω･)ﾉﾞ
P.S : Sorry if there's errors !!
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