Jules
I skimmed the pages over and over again but got nothing from it. My father was a fantastic writer but I just couldn't get my mind off of Ian. His lips against mine... his hands in my hair... everything about him made me have butterflies in my stomach.
But he was older than me, more mature. To him I was just a immature little teenager who just wanted to get in his pants. There was no way he wanted to even remotely be with me.
I closed the book with a sigh. Why was falling in love so damn difficult?
There was a knock on my door and Julia walked in with a smile.
"Hey, Charlie the Unicorn." She chuckled.
"I told you not to call me that." I groaned.
"Oh shut up, you love it." She plopped down on my bed. "So how's it been? You've been isolating yourself from me and the rest of the world for a few days now."
"A lot of shit has happened, Jules. I don't know whether I can tell you or not."
"You didn't kill Trevor or anything, did you?"
"My dad's a cop, why the hell would I do that?"
"Just wondering. But you can tell me anything, bad or good."
I let out a heavy sigh and walked over to sit down on the bed. "You won't think I'm some freak man-whore, will you?"
"Unless you became a stripper overnight, no."
"Well, I kind of... kissed someone last night after I told Trevor to fuck off."
"What!? Who!?"
"That's the thing... I can't tell you."
"Why not!?"
"Because it's really bad that I kissed him. He's a few years older me, okay, a lot of years older than me and it's not exactly legal since I'm seventeen."
"Ooh, scandalous. Well, I guess I'll just have to find out who your mystery man on my own."
"I'm freaking out though. After we kissed, he told me to leave and I did. But I felt something when I kissed him. It was like noting I'd ever experienced with Trevor."
"Sweetie, you're in love."
"But I don't want to be. I mean, I can't, not with him."
"You'll have to accept it sooner or later, Charlie."
I let out another heavy sigh. "Thanks, Jules."
"Hey, I'm here for your boy problems and you're here for mine." She bit her lip. "Can I tell you something actually?"
"Sure."
"What if I told you that I'm not exactly a girl all the time?"
"Can you elaborate a bit?"
"Well, sometimes I do feel like a girl and want to wear dresses and make up. But sometimes I feel like a boy too or I don't feel like either."
"Okay..." I said in confusion.
"I know, it's really weird and confusing but it's who I am. It's called gender fluidity. One day I'll be a girl and the next I'll be a girl. So my pronouns will change."
"So what do I use?"
"He/him for boy, she/her for girl, and they/them for neither. It's going to be really hard to get used to but I don't mind if you fuck up as long as you're trying."
"Of course. I love and accept you, Jules." I hugged her.
"I'm gonna get home. Text me about your boy problems when the hottie strikes again."
I smiled as Jules walked out. Now I just had to get Ian back.