TEN
Dad didn’t really have much to say to me for the rest of the night, sort of just sat there in his armchair moving his lips as he sorted it all out inside of his head. I made us a cup of tea before retreating to my room to unpack and unwind. What must’ve been the second strangest weekend had just passed me by and I had so much I needed to tell Angie that I felt that I was actually going to burst with the juicy information! It put me off sleeping for a long while, I lay in bed tossing and turning from one side to the other, my mind too electric to doze.
The next morning was almost a struggle because I had to somehow slide back into the same old routine of my life which had changed so drastically that I wasn’t sure if I was capable of it anymore. I was dating a rock star! How was that even a thing? I didn’t tell dad about mum’s bribery quite yet, deciding to hold it off until that evening. He called goodbye to me as he left through the door and I followed not long after, fumbling with a cigarette as I battled my way through a tremendously gusty morning.
The sun was out but the ferocious wind made it feel like it was late November rather than June. I flicked my fag away from me as I chimed through the door into the funeral parlour where Mr Clarkson was humming ‘Singing in the rain’ to himself. He made some ill tasted joke before tapping his way into his office.
Concentrating on my work proved to be particularly difficult that morning because my mind kept wandering back to the kisses I’d shared with Jack, how his plush cloudlike lips had pushed and longed for mine and it was mind blowing really. It felt as though I’d stumbled headlong into a dream and hadn’t gotten around to waking up quite yet.
Not even a skulking, scowling Toby could put the smile off of my face although I did have to bite back informing him of my better offer that he’d been so adamant I’d never receive. On my break I was stood as usual leaning against the wall daydreaming at the post office as I had a cigarette to myself when bouncing and grinning around the corner charged my best friend. “Where’ve you been all weekend?” She exclaimed when she came in talking distance. “I’ve been calling but your dad was just like ‘no’ the whole time.” She had –for some reason- put a Spanish accent on when imitating my father.
“Well, I need to tell you all about that.” I whispered excitedly to her. I had butterflies because telling her about Jack and me was on par with awfulness with me having to tell dad I was moving in with mum. “But not here because they think I was ill on Friday.”
“Oh!” She tapped the end of my nose. “You naughty little girl! Alright, I’ll come collect you after you’ve finished work.” And she did, I took to biting my nails for the afternoon to try and deal with the nerves but it didn’t really help. Time rolled forward and it came to the moment of honesty. Angie had a purple scarf tied into her hair and was wearing jangly bangles all the way up her arms, she looped her arm through mine and as we walked home she demanded all the gory details.
So I told her. I explained everything making sure that I didn’t leave anything out because I owed it to her to make sure that she knew every last thing. When I was done Angie had gone quiet and eventually came to a stop. Untangling my arm from hers I took a step in front of her so I could try and catch her expression. “Are you ok? Angie.”
Her face remained blank until her lips twitched as she tried to formulate the right words. “You’re leaving me for the entire summer?”
“Well-I-”
“I thought we were going to move to Manchester together.”
“We still can!” I raised my eyebrows earnestly. “We still can. It’s just for the summer Ange, I’ll be back by the end of it and then we can go wherever you want.”
“Don’t be naïve,” she rolled her head to the side giving me a look, “you’ve got a boyfriend, you’ve got a plan, you’re not going to want to move back here after you’ve been away from it for a month or two. Who would? I go away for a week and it’s hard enough to drag myself back.” We stood in silence. “It’s not that I don’t want you to go and have plans and do stuff because trust me, anything you do outside of this village would put a smile on my face it’s just-just I guess I assumed you’d always be with me.” I sighed, I knew what she meant. I always followed her footsteps, did what she wanted, went where she said and now I’d gone and messed her plans up for our lives and although she was happy she hadn’t anticipated it.
“You can come with me if you like.” I blurted out. “Mum’s house is big enough, there’re plenty of rooms.”
She pulled a face, “I don’t want to live in Kent.” Then she paused. “I’m being stupid aren’t I?” I stuck my tongue out before pulling her into a tight hug. “Love you Rubes.”
“Love you Ange.” I replied into her shoulder. “We’ll always be best friends. You know that.”
“I know that.” She patted my back before letting us both go. “Want me to be there when you break the news to your daddy?” I laughed but nodded because moral support there was exactly what I needed.
I was pacing back and forth that night in front of my father, my brows furrowed and my heart somewhat pounding as he sat in his armchair wondering what on earth I was about to tell him. “What’s going on Rubes?” He asked for the hundredth time.
“I-” I glanced nervously at Angie to which she returned with an encouraging grin. “I need to tell you something.” I paused in front of dad.
“I know that!” He shook his head, exasperated. “I know that. Just tell me what it is already; I can’t bare all this suspense.”
“Ok.” I was fiddling with my hands, “ok-ok-ok, alright. Dad, this isn’t because of you alright? I just-I-”
“Just tell him, Ruby.” Angie interrupted. “Say it.”
“I’m moving in with mum.” The silence was worse than yelling. It broke my heart, tears shone in my eyes as I stared down at dad, absorbing the information before slowly trailed his eyes to meet my own. I was guilt ridden. “It’s not because of you.” My voice cracked.
“A few weeks ago she was the enemy, the traitor.” He grumbled. “Now you’re all palsy with her, eh?”
“It’s not like that.”
“Is it the money? I know I aint exactly rolling around in a mansion or nothing like that-”
“I need to get out of this village.” I blurted out over the top to shut him up. “That’s all. I don’t want to work at the funeral parlour for the rest of my life, I want to go and see the world and it’s just easier if I’m there with mum. Kent’s more of an accessible place.” I bit my bottom lip as I fought ferociously at keeping the tears at bay.
“I’m holding you back.” He lent back in the armchair, hands neatly together in his lap and staring at me with a look of clear understanding although he didn’t understand at all.
“No. I-”
“You can’t expect her to want to live here forever Mr Greene.” Angie took control of my seemingly hopeless situation. “Ruby has a right to go and live her life how she wants, she’s seventeen, nearly a woman and-”
“Nearly but not quite.” Dad snapped. “I expect this is you putting your bloody free spirit crap into her head is it? Well if that’s the case then-”
“Dad stop!” I begged. “Please? Just listen. I need to go and find my place out in the world, need to go and find who I am and this village isn’t it. The only reason why I’m going to live with mum is because it’s rent free.” I bent the truth to fit what he desired, sometimes bending the truth was what was needed to help the road to smoothen out. Not that I was condoning it, hey, I’m not in charge make your own decisions!
As I willed him imploringly to believe me he must have took my desperation as a sign for truth and sighing gave one small nod. “Alright, it’s just a shock that’s all. A shock…When you going then?”
“Friday.”
“Friday!” He bellowed making both Angie and me flinch. “That bloody soon?” I explained to him that mum had sprung it on me out of the blue and begrudgingly he swallowed that news down as well. There was no point telling him that it was supposedly only for the summer because I knew that I wouldn’t be moving back here at the end of my stay with my mother anyway, I’d have to keeping moving forward now, no point leaping onwards and then regressing. When Angie was gone I made dad and me tea and we ate it in such uncomfortable awkwardness that I could barely swallow my food.
“You know,” he said after I’d cleared the table, “I do want the best for you Rubes. You’re smart, you know what’s best for yourself.” And for the first time in a long time he pulled me into a hug. I slowly put my arms around him, unsure quite what to make of the situation but it was over before it really began. “You’re a good girl, my Ruby.” He patted my cheek and then wandered off into the lounge.